In frustration, I crumpled up the next piece of paper and threw it towards the trash can, where of course it didn't end up.
"Come on, Terzo! You can do it!" I said to myself. I've been trying to think of a meaningful lyric for "Square Hammer" all day, but it just wouldn't work. Normally the ideas just flowed out of me, but lately it just wasn't working anymore.
"Are you on the square?
Are you on the hammer?"
"That doesn't even make sense!" I shouted in frustration, accidentally breaking my pencil in anger. I had to take a deep breath so I didn't lose control completely.
"Everything's fine, Terzo... Now you have two pencils," I reassured myself, which was very difficult for me.
I thought about the planned melody in my head over and over again, taking occasional sips of my whiskey. Alcohol made you relaxed and creative, so why shouldn't it help?
"Are you on the square?
Are you on the... level! Level! I got it!" I immediately wrote this sentence down.
"It's not a complete song, but it's a start." I put the paper aside and looked in my sketchbook for inspiration for the second verse.
Again I was missing the beginning, which only frustrated me again. I sighed deeply. This could be a long night.
As I continued flipping through my book, I blindly reached for my whiskey glass, but I missed and knocked it over.
"Great..." I mumbled and put it back up. I stood up and grabbed a rag, which I only used when my forehead was sweaty from exertion or I was in some other situation where I needed to...clean myself, and wanted to use it to wipe up the whiskey.
Then my eyes fell on a soaked paper lying there and I froze.
"No!" I screamed in horror and picked it up.
I could see was how the writing was smeared so that it could no longer be read.
"No! No! No!” I shouted again.
"My complete work!" The entire first verse and chorus were destroyed and I didn't had a copy.
“Such shit!” I screamed in frustration and kicked the trash can in anger, causing it to fall over, scattering the paper balls all over the floor of my office. I tore my hair out of anger and stomped back to the table.
“Why am I so stupid?!” I asked myself.
“I'll never be able to finish this fucking song!” I continued screaming and picked up my notebook.
“Just like the rest of my stupid ideas!” I threw the book towards the wall. While it flew, I noticed the door to my office opening. I wanted to warn the person, but it would be too late anyway.
"Terz-" Omega stepped in, but immediately jumped back with a startled gasp as he saw the book flying towards him. It missed him and bounced off the door before landing on the floor with a thud and all the leaves fell out.
“Forgive me!” I immediately shouted and ran towards him.
Omega picked up the notebook and came back into the room.
“Are you okay?” he asked before looking around the devastated room with wide eyes.
“Yes…” I mumbled. "I just had a... mishap." I took the book from his hand and slammed it on my cluttered desk.
“What are you even still doing here? It's the middle of the night." the big ghoul asked worriedly. His eyes wandered down to me once more.
"I... I tried to write Square Hammer.” I answered, mumbling
"The idea is there, I just have no Ideas for the text." I turned away from Omega and pulled my hair again.
"It's driving me crazy!"
“Hey,…” I heard his calm voice behind me. Shortly afterwards his strong arms wrapped around meOne around my waist, the other around my chest.
"It's just a song, something like that doesn't usually upset you that much. Is that really the problem or is there something else that's bothering you?" He asked before giving me a gentle kiss on the back of my neck that made my facade crumble.
I had to clear my throat to find my voice.
"Y-Yeah, everything... everything's fine." I stuttered, causing Omega to pull me tighter into his chest.
"Tesoro, it's me." He said softly into my ear.
"Your Omega, your closest friend. You can always be honest with me, you know that, right? You don't have to hide your feelings from me." his voice was so bittersweet and I felt tears welling up inside me. My facade finally broke
"I-I... I know..." I whimpered, gently grabbing his arm that was still wrapped around my chest. Tears streamed down my cheeks and my legs gave way beneath me from exhaustion. Omega pulled me to him, pressing my back even more against his chest as I sobbed and cried.
"It's okay..." he whispered comfortingly. "Let it all out." he kissed my neck again. His calming warmth surrounded me and enveloped me as I cried my heart out.
"I'm here, Tesoro." he stroke me gently. After a while I calmed down again, although my legs were still shaking. Omega slowly turned me around so that I had to look at him.
He took my face in his hands and looked at me with his calm eyes.
"Now would you like to tell me what happened?" He asked and I nodded before wiping away my tears.
"It's just... I tried to write this song and I just want it to be perfect, but it just doesn't work!" I whimpered.
"Hey, your songs have always been masterpieces." He tried to encourage me, but I shook my head.
"You don't understand! It must be perfect!" I continued to whimper.
"I can't disappoint Papa Nihil! I can't disappoint you all!" I looked into his eyes and all I saw was confusion.
"Us?" he asked confused.
"If Papa isn't happy with my performance, I'll have to give up my role as Papa!"
"But that wouldn't be so bad." Omega murmured thoughtfully.
"Maybe it would be a good opportunity for a break. For a little time for us. Just you and me." he said calmly.
"No!" I said immediately.
"If... If I'm not a Papa anymore, then you all have to go back! Then you have to go back!" I felt panic rise within me.
"And then I won't see you again! And if I'm no longer Papa, then... then Copia has to become Papa and I can't protect him from the Clergy anymore!" I started crying again and could hardly breathe.
"Terzo! Hey, calm down!" Omega grabbed my shoulders tightly, forcing me to look at him.
"Why do you want to protect Copia from the Clergy? This is our home! This is our family!"
"Something's wrong here, Omega!" I almost shouted at him.
"I've had the feeling for a long time that something is being hidden here. I know that something is being hidden here. I have no idea what it is, but I feel like the role of Papa is just a scapegoat for something much bigger!" I looked desperately at Omega before sighing deeply.
"Omega, I know something is wrong here and I need to write the perfect songs so I have more time to figure something out. I can't lose all of you. I can't lose you." I wanted to get up, but Omega immediately pulled me down again.
"Tesoro, you need a time out." he said gently. Just as I was about to say something, he continued.
"No! You can't say 'no' to that!You can write your perfect songs. We can figure out what's going on together, but that's not possible when you're so stressed!" he put his hand on my cheek again.
"You're going to stop working on the songs now, it's way too late anyway. You come with me and we'll do something nice together to distract you."
I looked hopefully into his eyes.
"What do we do?" I asked in a whisper and curiously, whereupon Omega gave me a kiss and laughed slightly.
"Let yourself be surprised."
We stood up together and Omega pulled me with him out of the stuffy office.
"Mi Amore, where are we going?" I asked again as we walked down the hallway.
"I won't tell you!" He said teasingly, pulling me further out of the Ministry.
After a while we arrived at a hill. Omega ran up a bit and I tried to follow him, which was very difficult because of the lack of light. Only the cool, silver rays of the moon illuminated my path and made the mask of my favorite ghoul glitter.
He ran to a hollow and sat down, leaning his back relaxed against a stone.
"Come here, Tesoro." He opened his legs and motioned for me to sit between them before removing his mask. Hesitantly, I sat down and let him pull me close. I felt his pleasantly warm and strong chest against my back, into which I wanted to sink. I sighed contentedly and listened to the silence. All I could hear was the gentle wind in the trees and Omega's strong breathing in my ear. His chest rose and fell against my back and I adjusted my breathing so we were in sync.
Suddenly there was such a relaxed silence in my thoughts. A silence that hadn't been there for so long. No song lyrics were wandering around in my mind, no voice was screaming at me that I was failing.
The silence was so beautiful and it was even more beautiful that the person I most enjoyed spending time with was with me.
"How do you feel?" Omega asked in his calm voice that made me smile.
I relaxed my head back so I could look at him.
"It's so peaceful. My mind is free of any worries and thoughts of new songs." I confessed calmly, making Omega smile.
"I told you you'd like this." he gently stroke my cheek before we both looked up at the night sky in silence.
Then I suddenly noticed movement in the sky. A bright streak shimmered in the sky for a few seconds before disappearing again, leaving only a memory behind.
"A shooting star!" I exclaimed enthusiastically and pointed to it.
"Omega! Did you see it? Did you see the shooting star?" I asked delightedly and looked at Omega, who nodded with a smile.
"I have." He confirmed, looking at me with an amused grin.
"It was beautiful!" my voice was just a breath when I said that.
"Some people say that a shooting star is a soul leaving the earth. Others say that whoever is lucky enough to see such beauty is entitled to a wish." he wrapped his arms around my stomach and squeezed me gently.
"And my wish came true before I even saw the shooting star." He whispered in my ear before gently kissing my cheek, his breath tickling me. A pleasant warmth spread through my body and I felt my cheek turn red while he briefly gave a few kisses. I placed my hands on his, which were still clutching my stomach.
"Is it?" I asked and Omega nodded.
"Otherwise you wouldn't be here with me, Mi Amore. Otherwise I would never have asked you if you wanted to go on a date with me, or kissed you, or told you that I love you." he smiled gently.
"How much longer can I wish for something?" I asked my boyfriend, who looked at me teasingly.
"Well, if you hurry up and close your eyes, it will work." he grinned crookedly.
So I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
I wish that Omega and I will stay together and be happy forever.
Suddenly I felt his lips gently touch mine. I sighed contentedly and returned the kiss gently, feeling the familiar tingling sensation in my body. After a few seconds, Omega pulled his head back and looked at me.
"Was that your wish?" He asked before I looked at him with a grin.
"Well, not quite, but you were close."
"Would you like to tell me?" he asked calmly.
"But I thought then it wouldn't come true." I whispered as I looked up at him.
"Maybe so." he pushed a strand of hair out of my face.
"I wanted us to be together forever." I confessed, feeling my cheeks turn red.
Omega smiled softly before leaning down and kissing me again.
"This wish will come true."
We sat there contentedly cuddled up together and were silent for a while before I heard Omega's voice again.
"Can we talk, Tesoro?" Omega looked at me with loving eyes.
"Of course, Mi Amore." I smiled softly, causing the large ghoul to sit up. I turned to him so that I could get a good look at him. He took my hands in his.
"Terzo..." he took a breath.
"I love you so much. I know our love is forbidden but I don't care because I want to be with you." he brushed a strand of hair from my face again.
"Omega, I want that too!" I giggled.
"Shh..." he put a finger on my lips and smiled softly.
"Don't destroy the moment!" He looked down at me, giggling. His look made me melt."Terzo..." he said again and took another deep breath.
"You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You are my everything and I don't want to live another day without you."
He pulled a black box out of his pocket and my breath hitched.
"Omega, what-?" I couldn't continue talking. Was that really just happening right now? Was it really what I thought?
Omega opened the box, revealing a silver ring with wooden decoration.
"Will you marry me as soon as it is possible?" he asked. I looked at him, frozen. My eyes moved from the ring to his face in disbelief.
"Do you want to be my husband?" He asked again. I felt tears welling up in my eyes and nodded.
"Yes!" It was just a whisper, but it showed every emotion in me. A single, small word with a huge meaning for me, for us.
"Yes Yes Yes!" I exclaimed, pulling Omega into a sweet kiss, which he immediately returned.
"I... yes!" I was completely speechless. I wanted to say so many things, but nothing came out of me.
"Really?" Omega asked with hopeful eyes.
"Yes!" I shouted again and threw myself into his arms, knocking us both over. Omega was lying on the grass below me and had to hold the ring up so it didn't fall out.
"Slow down!" He said giggling, but then I pulled him into a kiss. I pressed my body against his and felt his arm wrap around my waist.
We kissed for a few seconds before I pulled my head back and looked at him.
"You make me so happy, Omega." I whispered and looked into his eyes, which reflected the starlight.
"And you me!" he grinned at me before we sat up again.
"Give me your hand." the ghoul asked and gently took my left hand in his. He took our engagement ring out of the box and placed it on my finger before kissing the back of my hand.
"The day will come when we can get married, Tesoro. And as soon as it's allowed, we'll take the first date we can get." I said and put my other hand on his cheek.
"We will, Terzo. We will." With that, we snuggled up together and looked up at the starry sky as we planned our future together.
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<3
Part 2??