From: Alice Stilton <alice.stilton@rmail.com>
To: Rainbow <rainbowsnclouds@rmail.com>
Date: August 9, 2007
Subject: Birthday celebration and other updates
Dear Thalia,
I hope you are well. I keep sending these emails, never knowing if you actually read them. I like to keep you updated on what's going on in our lives, though. I guess being able to share my thoughts with you this way makes it a bit easier to bear your absence, despite it being a one-way communication. I still miss you, you know. Plus, I've kept this emailing going for eight years, so why stop now? So, let's jump into the latest events.
I spent the weekend at Grandma and Grandpa's. You know, now that I've lived on campus during my uni years and then moved out to Upstate, spending a few days at home feels even more special. Not to mention having my family celebrate my birthday – as if having lived a certain number of years was an accomplishment of mine. Well, maybe it is, I don't know. But be that as it may, it was a lovely weekend with a memorable birthday celebration. Thea came up with a little joke: she started playing that Smokie song, you know, the one about Alice. I have to admit, her screaming "twenty-four years just waiting for a chance" on top of her lungs was funny, and fitting for the occasion, of course. It's a pity that she felt compelled to involve the lyrics of that other version. I don't even know what she was thinking, singing "Who the fuck is Alice?" over and over with both Grandma and Grandpa there. Grandpa was positively fuming; "Language, Theodora," he told her with his death glare. And Grandma, she was sweet as always, just saying "Now, young lady, that's hardly appropriate" in that way that only she can do.
So, enough about that part; I have more exciting news. Autumn is nearing slowly but surely, and it will bring some changes for both Thea and Geronimo. Thea is starting high school; she got admitted to Curlyfur High! It's crazy how fast time flies by. I mean, it feels like it was just yesterday that she was still so small that I could easily lift her up. And then I haven't even mentioned Geronimo. I can't wrap my head around how he is officially a grown up now (but, yeah, officially, technically, but he is still my little brother; plus, turning eighteen doesn't make one an adult overnight, even though he has always been so responsible and mature). Anyway, guess what! He has gotten a scholarship to Mouseford Academy! He'll be majoring in literature and philosophy. What a kid!
Grandpa and Grandma are also staying busy. I mentioned that Grandpa started this newspaper about half a year ago. For some time, it didn't seem like anything would become of it, but it seems that it's slowly gaining popularity, and he seems quite rejuvenated from having rodents to boss over again. What I'm really happy about, though, is that Grandma is helping him out with it as well, and it seems to me that she is genuinely enjoying it.
As for me, I have gotten a job at Connect – in the IT department, not the public service, obviously. It has gone surprisingly well so far. I'd say that I have settled into my role fairly quickly, and it has all gone well. My colleagues are great, although I didn't know a soul when I started there. It feels good to be sharing my workplace with them, now that I have had time to get to know them better. Or, well, me not knowing anyone at all is not entirely true. There is, in fact, a rat who took some courses with me in uni, and he works in the public service department now. Though, I've never actually spoken to the guy. I think his last name is Squeak or something like that, but that's anybody's guess. I have about as much contact with him now as during the uni years, but I've gotten to know the team otherwise, and I'm thriving.
That is all for now. I really hope that you are doing as well as we are. You're always in my thoughts.
Love,
Alice
***
New Mouse City, 2009
Geronimo got the call around mid-day. As soon as his last lecture for the day ended, he walked out of the campus at a brisk pace and hopped onto the next ferry to Mouse Island. He couldn't even remember how long ago the last time he left Whale Island was. A month? Two?
He had lost count, really. The weeks flew by so fast with the tight schedule, all those assignments and his work as a teaching assistant in Digital Source Criticism. He had tried to make a point of calling regularly, but that had obviously not been enough.
Sure, he had noticed that Thea had seemed a bit off lately – more tired and subdued. He had tried to ask her about it, but she had always dismissed his concerns. Geronimo had seen through her façade, but he hadn't wanted to press her. Perhaps that had been a mistake. He could never have imagined that things would spiral out of control like that for Thea.
The worry was gnawing at Geronimo as the ferry neared the harbor of New Mouse City. His stomach was in knots, but for once, it wasn't due to sea sickness, but because of the dread that seized him.
The ship docked, and Geronimo hurried to the bus headed for Downtown. He got off at Mouse General Hospital, and bunded up the stairs with unmatched speed once inside. Only when placing his paw on the handle of the door to the ward did he pause for a moment to take a deep breath. Then, he stepped over the threshold.
He spotted Thea immediately. She was sitting on her bed, curled in on herself. How little and frail she looked was, quite frankly, disheartening.
"Thea," Geronimo called out to her softly, whereupon Thea's head snapped up, and her eyes widened and welled up with tears in an instant.
The next moment, a loud sob broke loose from her, shaking her whole body.
"You must be so disappointed in me," she whimpered, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry... So sorry".
Geronimo felt the lump in his throat grow as he listened to his sister's pleas. The fact that she felt the need to apologize repeatedly like that, and to him, of all rodents, was quite vexing. He hurried up to her and gingerly wrapped her into a tight but gentle embrace.
"I could never be disappointed in you," he murmured. "It's okay. You have nothing to apologize for, Thea. I love you".
However, no matter how many times he repeated his reassurances, Thea just kept crying, her tears creating an unabating flood. Geronimo continued to hold her, then drew back just a little to be able to meet her gaze once it seemed that she had calmed down marginally.
"I'm sorry I have visited so infrequently lately," he said. "I won't keep that trend up. I'll come by every day, I promise. You're not alone, Thea."
Despite her brother's reassurances, Thea shook her head violently and started sobbing again, perhaps even more forcefully than before. "No!" she gave an anguished cry. "You need to study. You won't have time for that. It's not your responsibility to... to...," she rambled on, her last sentence punctuated by ragged breaths as she fought to regain control over her trembling voice.
"You can rest assured that I'll find the time," Geronimo replied calmly as he tightened his hold around her. "It's just a one-hour ferry ride. It's not my responsibility, no. But I want to be here with you".
***
Thalia put her paintbrush down as the laptop on her desk gave a cheerful pling, announcing that she had gotten an email. She ran one paw through her hair, tousling the strands that had gotten loose from the bun that she had tried to arrange at least half of it in. Her throat tightened as she saw Alice's name displayed on the screen.
She read each and every email that her sister sent, often needing to take a little crying break afterwards. She still missed them so incredibly much, and every letter felt like a new blow to her soul. But who knows, maybe it would have been even harder if she didn't know anything about the family that she had left behind.
Thalia often composed an answer, but in the end, she never hit "send". She had gotten dreadfully close to doing it, though, especially these last two years. She was worried about Thea, and she desperately wished that she could be there with her and the rest of the family. However, she had never gotten herself to giving Alice a response. She hated herself for it, and she felt like a true coward, but deep down, she knew that it was for the best. At times, she doubted her decision of leaving the Stiltons behind, but then, she reminded herself of what circles she had gotten involved in during her late teenage years. She had really not wanted to unleash the consequences of her mistakes on her family.
Thalia let out a deep sigh before she opened the email and started reading.
From: Alice Stilton <alice.stilton@rmail.com>
To: Rainbow <rainbowsnclouds@rmail.com>
Date: May 16, 2011
Subject: Geronimo's commencement
Dear Thalia,
These last two years have not been easy, but I think it's safe to say that we are on our way out of this difficult period. Geronimo had his commencement ceremony this week, and this was the first time in a long time that I could actually breathe out and just feel the moment, without worrying about anything else. I suspect that Grandma and Grandpa, Geronimo, and, first and foremost, Thea felt much the same way. So, let me tell you all about it.
As you know, Thea has been in and out of the hospital these last two years. However, she has been doing better lately, and we're all positive that she'll continue to improve. She seems much calmer, happier, and stronger now, and she has that spark in her eyes again. I've missed this side of her tremendously.
The date of Geronimo's commencement ceremony was announced a long time prior to it, probably in autumn, if I remember correctly. However, neither of us gave it a lot of thought back then, given how tumultuous everything else was. Geronimo probably felt like he was never going to graduate. He was practically drowning in assignments, he had to work on his thesis, and he had the TA job. And yet, he still visited Thea in the hospital or came home every day. I mean, paws down, that kid deserves a prize.
But alright, I got a bit carried away. So, what I intended to say is this: neither of us paid much attention to the date at first, but as it was nearing, we all became acutely aware that "Oh, shit, Geronimo is getting his master's degree". Of course, he was very understanding; he even told us that he understands if we can't be there, and that's perfectly alright. Can you believe it?! As if we would ever miss it!
I mean, yeah, of course, there was a chance that Thea would actually be compelled to miss it, but here's the deal: for some time, it was a bit unsure whether or not she would be healthy enough to attend, but about two weeks prior to the commencement ceremony, she got the green light from the doctors. However, being the sneaky little lady that she is, she told Geronimo that unfortunately, she would not be able to come, as she wanted it to be a surprise.
He just smiled back at her and told her that it was perfectly alright, but I could practically see part of his soul shatter as he said this, and my heart went out to him, especially knowing that Thea was just pulling his leg. It was all worth it in the end, though, because picture this: We were sitting in the middle of the auditorium, so we had the perfect view of Geronimo going on stage and shaking paws with the professors and receiving his diploma. Once he went to stand with his fellow students, we could see that he was looking for us in the crowd. So, Thea straightened up just a little bit, and she tried to lock eyes with him. I swear, I could pinpoint the moment when Geronimo caught sight of her. He began to cry then and there, on stage, although he did it very discreetly; one could only see his tears and how his shoulders shook a little if one watched closely.
Then, when the ceremony was over and Geronimo came over to us, he looked at Thea as if he couldn't believe that she was there. He overcame that initial shock, though, and we could celebrate him properly. Seeing him stand there, wearing his robe and his graduation cap made me so proud of him. He has worked very hard, and he really deserves the best. But guess what: He's staying at uni, because now he'll do his PhD. That's hardly any surprise, though. After all, Geronimo thrives in the academic life.
As for Thea, she is graduating from high school this year as well. All of her grades aren't set yet, but she has kept up with her studies well, sending in every assignment on time, so there should be no worries at all. She hasn't seen her class at all for two yours due to the homeschooling and her illness, and based on what she has said so far, I can't imagine that she would want to be present at school during the graduation ceremony, especially considering that she would have to meet the rodents who made her doubt herself to begin with. Of course, we will celebrate her as well once she gets her high school degree. She really is a true champion, but for now, the spotlight is on Geronimo, because making it through university with such good grades and juggling so many things at once is no small feat.
So, all in all, Geronimo's commencement went mousetastically, and things seem to be improving. I hope it will stay like this for a while. However, I have to say that if I've learned anything from what has happened during these last two years, then it is that I must not let work take over my life. I need to be present, and I need to be there for my siblings, because they are the greatest gift I could ever ask for.
Wishing well,
Alice
***
Whale Island, 2012
The cozy student café near campus was a perfect place to meet up now that both Thea and Geronimo spent the majority of their time within the walls of Mouseford Academy. Alice didn't mind taking the ferry over from Mouse Island at all. She welcomed the change of scenery, and she looked forward to catching up with her siblings.
The bell hung above the door jingled merrily as Alice entered, and she spotted her younger siblings immediately. However, Geronimo and Thea seemed to be so engrossed in something that they didn't even look up.
"This paragraph looks good," Alice heard Geronimo's voice over the hubbub of conversation in the café as she stepped closer, and at the same time, she saw him point at one part of the screen of Thea's laptop, "But I'd phrase this part differently, and here- Where was it again? Yes, here! Do you have a reference on this?"
"My brain?" Thea spread her arms.
Geronimo let out a soft chuckle as he shook his head. "It doesn't work like that."
"Hullo!" Alice called out to them just then. It was amusing, watching Geronimo assess Thea's text, but she couldn't wait any longer to greet her siblings.
Geronimo and Thea naturally reciprocated Alice's enthusiasm upon seeing them, hurrying to stand from their seats and give their older sister a hug.
After all three of them had ordered something to eat and drink and they had talked about anything and everything for a while, Alice leaned back in her chair, preparing to make the announcement that she had planned for.
"This may seem like it came out of the blue, but in reality, I have given it a lot of thought before ever really voicing it," she began after declaring that she had something important to say. "I've tried to focus a bit less on my work and more on being present and spending time with things that I find meaningful lately. You know, like catching up with you regularly instead of working myself to death," she chuckled nervously.
"Yes, and it's much appreciated," Geronimo replied with a kind smile. "I hope that you feel that it has all become a bit more balanced."
"I do," Alice nodded gratefully. "In fact, I've come to realize something recently. Something about how I would like to spend my time."
Here, Alice made a pause, stirring her drink as she gathered her thoughts before continuing.
"You both know that I have never been too keen on having a romantic partner," she then began tentatively. Then, she cast her gaze down, addressing the table rather than her siblings as she spoke the next sentences, lowering her voice more and more with every word. "But I... I'd like to become a parent. I have looked at some options, and... With a bit of luck, I will be pregnant in a few months."
Alice kept her gaze fixed on the mug of caramel latte in front of her. Then, she felt two arms wrapping around her shoulder: one from the left and one from the right. She finally looked up, and she was met with one pair of emerald and one pair of violet eyes, both glistening with an equal amount of love and support.
"That's great, Alice," Thea whispered. "I'm happy for you."
***
Alice looked like she had been to Hell and back, but in a positive way, if such a thing was possible. In her arms, she cradled a small bundle. The little mouse's fur had the same color as hers, but other than that, all that could be determined regarding his appearance was that he was tiny.
"Meet Benjamin Thales Stilton," Alice whispered as she looked up at Geronimo and Thea. She was beaming, but not just with her snout, but with her whole being.
The three siblings locked eyes, and a silent understanding passed between them. They did not speak about Thalia often, as Grandpa had made sure to make her name a taboo, but she was missed, nonetheless. Even Thea, who didn't remember a lot about the time when Thalia was still around, recalled the warm feeling of snuggling up to her eldest sister on the couch, and the emptiness that she had felt when she had learned that Thalia was gone.
At that moment, they all smiled down at the infant whose middle name had been chosen to honor their long-lost sister.
***
From: Alice Stilton <alice.stilton@rmail.com>
To: Rainbow <rainbowsnclouds@rmail.com>
Date: January 19, 2014
Subject: Ski trip
Dear Thalia,
I hope you're doing well. I'm writing to tell you that me and Thea are going on a little adventure. We used to play all kinds of sports together when we were younger, but with everything that was going on during Thea's high school years and how much I took on at work back then, that tradition of ours kind of faded away. However, we've decided that now is the time to revive it. We're going to Frozen Fur Peak! We tried to coax Geronimo to come along as well, but he straight out refused. He said that he is not one for speed and heights, and that's fair, I guess, but it would have been fun to have him with us. At least he has offered to babysit Benjamin while we are away, and I'm grateful for that. This way, I'm 100% convinced that Ben will be in good paws.
I'm so excited about this trip that I can't even put it into words. Be prepared to receive a lengthy account of it once we're back. Let me end this letter with the favorite phrase of yours:
Be well, and be good,
Alice