Teddy's POV
Everything hurts. They've tied me down to this fucking bed and I can't move. How is this better than being tied up in a basement? At least it's warmer here, at least Remus isn't here. He can't hurt me here. They keep telling me that he won't hurt me, that he never hurt me. But I remember it, I saw him. I saw his face. He was hitting me a cursing me and doing terrible things. They tell me I'm crazy, they tell me I loved him. How could I have ever loved a man so monstrous?
They're trying some new treatment today, they said I'll have to put my fave into some bowl of water and it'll show me my real memories. I don't really understand, I don't want them to touch me, I don't want to relive my memories.
"Ms. Malfoy, how are you doing this morning?" Nurse Walker asked me, she's the best of them, she never calls me crazy.
"Sore."
"Same as yesterday?"
"Yup?"
"Are you ready for your new treatment?"
"Nope."
"Well, it's your choice. You don't have to do this, but we really would suggest you give it a try. There are people who love you counting on this, it could vastly improve your health."
"Who are these mysterious loved ones you keep talkin about, it's not like anyone's come to visit me is it?"
"Now Ms. Malfoy don't act like you've forgotten what happened when Mr. Potter came to visit you."
"What was it again?"
"You threw a vase at his head."
"Oh yeah, that was great!" I laugh. She tuts and shakes her head while changing my IV bag.
"I have to take you upstairs now, alright?"
"Yup."
She wheels my bed out of my hospital room and down the corridors. We go up three floors in the lift and come out on this weird hallway. It's dark and quiet, too quiet. Just as we're turning into the new room I catch sight of a tall man in a scraggly jumper turning the corner ahead of us. He seems familiar, I get his weird twinge in my chest. Must be one of the broken ribs.
"Hello Ms. Malfoy." A man with white hair and wrinkles smiles at me strangely while he speaks. He isn't wearing a healers coat and he's sitting beside this creepy looking bowl. There's some sort of swirling silver liquid inside it. He better not try and make me drink that shit.
"Now Ms. Malfoy, you have undergone intense, traumatic torture. I'm afraid during this they altered your mind, your memories. You seem to remember some people you used to love very dearly as your torturers, or as people who are out to hurt you. Today, we would like to try and correct this. Now we cannot simply give you back your memories, what we are going to do is show you some of your memories through the eyes of the other people in them. We hope, through this therapy, you will be able to recall your original memories."
"And if I refuse?"
"Well...that is your choice of course, however if you refuse these memories so kindly donated will go to waste and you may never remember the truth about your life. The longer we leave this the harder it may be to return your mind to it's best state. So, would you like to go ahead with the treatment?"
"Fine, whatever. It's worth a try."
They place the bowl Infront of me and instruct me to place my face in it. I do and for a second it feels like I'm falling a thousand feet and drowning all at once. Then, I land. Air returns to my lungs. I'm standing in what looks like a sort of living room. Everything is decorated red and gold, there's a fireplace lit but I'm alone. I can see myself, like I'm floating outside my body. The me in the memory looks young, very young, only 11 or 12 maybe?
It's night, the sky outside the windows is dark and rain pounds on the glass. There's a crackling fire but the room is empty except for my tiny figure curled up in an armchair with a book in the crook of my elbow and a cat on my lap.
I look...happy? Sort of? I look content.
I hear footsteps and suddenly there's a boy in the room. He too looks young, his jumper is far too big for him and his hair is a little bit too long and a tousled mess. His body looks like it was stretched, his limbs long and gangly. He looks...soft, warm, familiar.
"Hey." He says softly.
"Oh, hi Remus."
Remus? That can't be, this can't be Remus? The man who hurt me? The man who tortured me?
"What's wrong Teddy?" No one's ever called me Teddy, I don't remember this at all.
"Nothin, just couldn't sleep." I mumble, putting down my book and fiddling with my fingers. I can't seem to look at him.
"Me neither." He sighs and looks himself down on the sofa beside my chair looking at me with a grin.
"What?" I ask him.
"Nothin?" He grins wider.
"What?!"
"Nothin really just- you're reading the book I have you."
"I had nothing else."
"I thought you said it was silly."
"Well...it got better."
"I knew you'd like Austen once you have her a real chance."
"I like this bits where she talks about how stupid and annoying boys are."
"Oh suuureeee definitely not the bit where Darcy processes his love for Lizzie."
"HEY I HADNT GOT TO THAT!" I smack him over the head with a pillow and he laughs warmly, joining in on the pillow fight until we descend into a fit of laughter.
"Hey first years, to bed. Immediately!" Some grumpy prefect snaps at us from the stairs.
Before I walk up to bed I give Remus a tight hug and he rubs my back softly before smiling at me and we both walk up the stairs.
Suddenly my world is spinning, everything descends into a whirl of black, inky water and I'm dropped into another room.
It's a library, I'm a little bit older, surrounded by stacks of text books and parchment.
"Remus you haveee to help me, you're friends with her. You can talk to her for me, make her hate me a little less!"
"James I'm not going to jeopardize my friendship with lily for the sake of your love life, forget it mate. Oh Teddy!"
"Shhh, studying!" I snap, not even lifting my head to glance at him.
"Oh Teddy Teddy my dearest Teddy, please take a break from potions to save my future would you?"
"Bugger off James." I grumble, rightly so, little prick.
"But TEDDDYYY, this is Lily we're talking about. She's the love of my life I know it! But she won't even speak to me."
"Well maybe if you weren't such an arrogant prick all the time-"
"Oi!"
"She's not wrong." Remus laughs, taking a seat beside me and beginning to organise the books Infront of me into near little piles. It seems so unconscious, like something he's done a thousand times.
"Myrtlewood first." He whispers in my ear. I watch my younger-selves cheeks flush ever so slightly at his proximity to my face. He points a slender finger to the potions essay I was writing.
"Myrtlewood before the berries." He explains.
"Oh yeah um, thank you." I stutter slightly, scribbling out my mistake and rewriting the line."
"Alright can you two stop swot flirting for one minute to discuss the most important matter of my future."
"We aren't flirting!"
"Bugger off James!" We whisper-yell at the same time and laugh slightly.
"I give up!" James throws his hands in the air, tousles his hair and leaves the library.
"Blegh I'm so tired, I can't look at this anymore." I groan, rolling up the parchment a throwing it on the pile of my other work.
"Slughorn still giving you a hard time?"
"Always."
"Just ignore him, you know you're far better than anyone in your 'noble family'."
"Sure."
"I mean it." He stares at me for a little bit too long, his eyes flitting to mine and down my face before returning back up again.
I kiss his cheek suddenly and stand up.
"Thanks again for the help Rem. See ya later?"
"Uh- I, yeah!"
"Bye!" I gather my books and work and hurry out of the library. He touches his hand to where I kissed him and grins.
Everything starts spinning again, I start feeling sick. This feels like it's been going on for hours. When is it going to end?
Now I'm on a train. I'm lying on Remus and reading a book, James is there too and Sirius Black? I can't bear to watch I don't know what they're going to do to me but it can't be good.
But nothing does seem to happen, the boys chat a little bit, Remus stays quiet, his chest rising and falling steadily. One hand holds the book we're reading and the other rubs lazy circles on my hip, unconsciously. He's even taller now, his jaw is more defined and there are more scars across his hands and his face. His hair is curlier but still the same mousy brown mess.
He only whispers in my ear every so often to ask if I'm finished a page, his lips practically kissing my neck when he does. Are we? No. There's no way. But I do feel...safe. Everything feels right here, like nothing bad could ever happen.
The train disappears and I'm back in that cozy room from the first memory, older now but still curled up reading and cuddling a cat. I'm wrapped up in a jumper that looks oddly familiar, it looks like Remus'.
"Hey Ted" He says tapping my foot and sitting next to me on the couch.
"Hey Moony" I say, not looking up from my book.
Remus leans back on the couch and rubs the cat. The record player in the corner is playing my favourite Christmas record. The sweet sound of Bing Crosby fills the silence between us. It's calm and cozy and comfortable like something we do everyday.
"Alright, all done." I shut my book and turns to him, sitting up slightly.
"Good book?"
"Excellent. But what do you really want to ask me?"
"Hm? What? Me? No-nothing, just wanted to see ya."
"Don't lie Moony it's not a good look on you."
"Alright so there may be something that's been playing on my mind."
"Oh really?"
"Mhm.."
"Please do tell."
He lets out a breath before speaking.
"Uh..well...it's just that..um well... You know I've just been thinking about well..you-"
"Me?"
"Yeah, yeah you."
"And what have you been thinking about Mr Lupin."
"Uh right yeah well it's just Christmas ya know?"
"Christmas?"
"Yeah, Christmas. And how you uh..you don't really...you're not going home."
"Right... So you just came to rub that in did you?"
"WHAT?! I- No! No that's not what I mean. Oh merlin I'm bad at this."
"Just come out with it already Moony."
"Well..hoo, okay. So you don't really have anywhere to go this Christmas and that makes me feel horrible because I know you love Christmas and I love Christmas and I would hate to be alone on Christmas. So it got me thinking what I could do so I sent an owl to my Mum and I begged her to let me invite you and she said yes, of course she did cause she loves you, I shouldn't have said that...but anyways she said yes so you can come to mine for Christmas if you want but there's really no pressure if you don't want to its just a suggestion but I'd really really love you to come because well- because, I love Christmas and you love Christmas and I love you and I want you to come. Oh shit-"
"You love me?" I'm grinning.
"Of course I love you Teddy. Isn't that obvious."
"You love me."
"Yes."
"Really love me?"
"Clearly" he Iaughs slightly.
I smile impossibly wide and wrap my arms around his neck and run my hands through his hair. Hi eyes flutter slightly and he blushes bright red but his eyes don't leave mine.
"Moony..."
"Yeah?"
"I love you." I whisper.
Suddenly his lips are on mine and we launch into a full on snogging session
Until I'm on top of him and we're practically horizontal. I pull away and he looks at me with so much love in his eyes all my fear falls away.
"Can we keep this between us?...Just for now." I ask him hesitantly.
"Yeah, yeah of course we can."
"Thanks....Hey moony?"
"Mhm."
"I really do love you and, if you truly don't mind, I'd love to spend Christmas with you."
"Really?!"
"Yeah."
"Ahhhh I love you I love you I love you." He quickly flips me over and covers my face with kisses, landing his last peck on my lips.
The world falls away and I wake from whatever strange trance with a gasp. I'm back in the hospital, surrounded by healers and nurses and the old man is standing watching me. He moves to the side and I see him. Remus. I push the bowl aside and wipe the water out of my eyes to check it's real. He standing there in an old wooden jumper looking as beautiful as he did in those memories, if maybe a little more tired and worried looking.
All of those horrible memories feels like they slip away and I can remember so much more. I can remember dancing with him in the common room, I can remember Christmas with his family and.camping during the summer. I can remember nights spent laughing with the boys in their dorm and nights spent shivering the shrieking shack. I can remember it all.
I push the bedsheets aside and swing my legs out of the bed, pulling wires and tubes out of my body and trying to stand. I stumble and nearly faint but manage to stumble forward until I'm standing right infront of him.
I stare up at him and his eyes search mine, they look so sad, so lost.
I step forward and then all at once fall into him, wrapping my arms around his chest and burying my face in his jumper.
He holds me tightly and rubs my back the way he did when we were little. I feel his tears drop on the top of my head as my own soak through the fabric covering his chest.
I can remember, I remember it all.