Hours turned into days, days turned into weeks, and suddenly the Vecna incident seemed insignificant. After the group had recovered (minus Eddie and Max who were in the hospital at the time), and the adults came back to help them, they managed to actually stop Vecna. El pulled max back into her body, and Eddie woke up after a week in bed. Eddie was cleared of his murder charges, the Byers moved back into Hawkins, and the town slowly started to rebuild. And as summer break rolled around, everything was returning to normal once more; and Steve hated it.
He couldn't go back to pretending like it didn't happen, like it wouldn't come back to bite them in the bud. His nightmares and paranoia had become almost constant, yet he was a thousand miles way from his own head. He felt everything and nothing at the same time, he was stuck in his own personal hell. But he couldn't bring himself to tell anyone, couldn't bare to put the burden of his problems on anyone else. His hearing on his right side had been completely shot, and now he was having trouble hearing out of the other. His injuries healed into some pretty gnarly looking scars and his body was always constantly achy and sore, making it hard to even get out of bed some days. But he did it anyways, cause he wouldn't let anyone else suffer in silence.
He was always checking in with the kids, always making sure they were happy and comfortable. Dustin had returned to his normal self pretty quickly, same with Lucas, Mike and Erica. But the others weren't having such an easy time. Will was still paranoid, and Steve had to help him through a few panic attacks whenever he got the chills or the lights flickered. El was still trying to process everything that had happened with Brenner, and Steve encouraged her to talk about it. But max was arguably having the worst time of them all. She had completely lost her vision, and was paralyzed from the waist down. She was stuck in a wheelchair, having to rely on others pushing her around.
She hated it, so much; Steve felt his heart ache for her. She was so used to being independent that she didn't know how to ask for help. Steve knew the feeling all too well, and put it upon himself to make sure she didn't feel like a burden. Max and her mom temporarily moved in with him, since her mom was having financial troubles with the earthquake and his parents had permanently moved to their vacation home (he pointedly chose not to think about it for too long). It was nice to have other people in the house, to be able to care for them. He took max wherever she wanted, explaining everything in a soft tone in her ear. He bought her aviator sunglasses, because after they watched the movie "Top Gun" all the guys said she should get them. He wanted her to feel like the most special girl in the world.
Eddie was also having a very difficult time. With all the nerve damage from the bats, he couldn't walk without assistance. He and his uncle also moved into the Harrington household, since their trailer had been destroyed and they didn't have anywhere else to go. The more the merrier, Steve supposed. Eddie took over Steve's room on the first floor, Steve took over his parent's, and the three guest rooms were given to the others. Steve moved his stuff to his new room, which took all of 1 hour since he barely owned anything. His parent's room was blank anyways, so it was easy to move his clothes and belongings from one room to another. He bought the others clothes as well, since his family already had enough money as it is, he might as well use it for something useful.
It gave him a sense of purpose, made him feel like he was actually doing something good in his life. Wayne and Susan told him it wasn't necessary anymore, since they had both found jobs and could pay him back, but he wouldn't let them, insisted on it. Cause deep under all that hair he needs to feel needed, like there is someone out there that actually wants him here. They eventually came to an agreement, the adults would get anything the house needed (food, toiletries, etc.) but would continue to live with Steve.
It was nice, all in all, but Steve couldn't chase that sense of dread away. It was like the world was crumbling around him, like his lungs were caving in. He refused to turn to alcohol again, he needed to take care of the kids and Eddie, and he couldn't do that properly if he was drunk all the time could he? And he distanced himself from drugs, too scared it would remind him of that night under starcourt. So he was stuck, with no escape from his own nightmarish thoughts.
At least that's what he thought.
It took a month after the Vecna incident for anyone to notice something wrong, and it was in the worst way possible, in Steve's opinion. It was a weekend, meaning the whole group got together for a hang out and movie night, and Steve's house had been chosen for the occasion. It was the obvious choice, since he had a pool and all that space. But the idea of being in his big house just made his skin crawl. Even with everyone there, he felt like there were spiders skittering all over him. He didn't know what was setting him off, but anyone could tell he was feeling jumpy.
He tried his hardest not to let it show, busying himself with the food or spreading sunscreen, anything he could do to get his mind off of it. The way he felt the vengeful eyes of Barb staring into the back of his skull, or the hand of his father dunking him into the freezing water..
A shiver ran down his spine, and he took another step away from the edge of the pool. There wasn't much work left to be done, so he was taking time to stand and watch the others. A cool cup of lemonade was keeping him down to this reality, the beaded condensation dripping down his knuckles. The sun reflected off of his shades, warming his charcoal t-shirt and burnt orange shorts he was wearing. The kids were loudly splashing in the pool, chlorine water soaking the pool deck. Steve had managed to not get wet all afternoon, and wasn't ready to anytime soon.
"Steve!" Nancy exclaimed mid-laugh from the top of Jonathan's shoulders, and Steve felt his heart drop at the sudden attention, "come on and join us! You've been sulking around all day."
The others murmured in agreement, and Steve felt a panic bubble in his chest. He couldn't go in the pool, no matter what. But he also knew he wouldn't get out of this easily. He pulled on a nonchalant face and crossed his arms in front of his chest after setting down his lemonade.
"Yeah well I just took a shower this morning, So that sucks for you guys. Plus I'm not even wearing a swim suit!" He tried, gesturing wildly to his own body. Dustin groaned from the deep end where he was trying to push Mike down in the water.
"Oh come on, that's your lamest excuse yet. This is your house! If you were that concerned about your clothes you could go change." He whined, his eyes glancing behind Steve for a millisecond. Robin joined in from where she was lounging on one of the sun chairs next to Eddie, who was lounging in his wheelchair.
"Yeah! Come on dude, take advantage of this rich boy pool of yours." She shouted, raising a can of soda to him with an amused smile. He sent daggers in her direction.
"No, look, I'm good where I am. I'd like to stay dry, thank you very much-" suddenly there were hands on his back, shoving him towards the pool, "shit-"
He dug his heels into the floor, whipping his head around to face Eleven and Erica in their floaties, who were giggling excitedly. He shot them a pleading look, but it fell flat as they pushed him further and further towards the water.
"Nonononono, shit shit-" his heels poked over the edge of the pool, and the others cheered and laughed at the varied panicked noises coming from the man. The girls backed off for a second with wicked grins, coming back with twice the power and forcing him into the water.
He submerged into the cold water, and suddenly he wasn't in his own pool. He was being dragged down lovers lake by a strong vine around his ankle. He felt his fears curling in his chest, but as he tried to suck in air his mouth filled with water. He was drowning, flailing around to try and free himself. His head was throbbing with the pressure and lack of air, and for a fleeting moment he thought he was going to die. The light above him was fading and fading, and it was all tainted red. With a well measured kick, the tendril hesitated long enough for him to swim back to safety.
When he finally broke surface, it all came rushing back to him. The bright sun above his backyard, the loud laughing coming from all around him, the cold water that felt like fire against his skin. He coughed up the water that lodged itself into his throat and nose, his head pounding and ears ringing as he awkwardly kicked to stay afloat. He rushed over to the side of the pool, pushing himself back out of the water in a panic. The laughing continued as he fought to catch his breath, but he shot them all a glare and flipped up his middle finger before pushing up onto his shaky feet. He needed to get out, get out, get out, get out.
"Fuck off-" he mumbled as he wrapped a towel around himself and waddled back into the air conditioned living room. The laughing slowly died off as the kids went back to playing like they had before. The adults that had been gathered on the couch looked over, amused smiles on their faces until they saw the shell shocked stare that was plastered on his face. He stopped in the kitchen to take off his sunglasses and drag a hand over his face, hugging the towel closely around him.
"You okay son?" Wayne called from the couch next to Hopper, who was equally as invested, "they didn't rough you up too much did they?"
Steve shot him a strained smile and a thumbs up as he crossed the living room, muttering a small "I'm good." before crossing the living room into the bathroom and shutting the door behind himself. Leaning heavily against the bathroom counter, he felt the giant pressure building and building in his chest until it bursted an ugly red.
He stared angrily at the drain as his face contorted with a sob, his body trembling with the force of containing it. His hands shook as he gripped the edge of the sink until the tips of his fingers turned white. His breath burned in his throat, like he was running in a marathon.. or from the snapping jaws of a demogorgan. He punched a fist into his head, trying to focus on something, anything else but this terrible feeling inside of himself. He looked up to the mirror at his flushed, tear streaked face, only to find something else instead.
His fathers face, twisted into a sneer as he yelled profanities at Steve for whatever he did this time. His strong, ring clad hand was gripping Steve's hair as he dragged him out to the backyard. Steve screamed and begged him to stop, with fat tears streaming down his face but it didn't have any affect, as his father kneeled next to the pool and pushed Steve's head into the water.
It gurgled and bubbled as Steve fought against him, but it was no use. Steve's father was twice as big and strong. He was held there until he ran out of air and then some more. When he was finally pulled up he coughed and coughed but didn't have time to catch his breath before he was plunged under water once more. His nose and throat was burning by the time his father dropped him next to the pool and stormed back inside to have another drink. He couldn't bring himself to cry anymore, he was exhausted, and he felt all dried out despite the water that seemed to soak into his skin.
There was a knock at the door, startling Steve from whatever had a chokehold on his consciousness. He jumped at the sudden noise, his frayed nerves backing him to the corner of the bathroom (which also happened to be in the bathtub). His heart was fluttering dangerously in his chest, and he had to clamp his hands over his mouth to stop his cries from escaping. There was another knock after that, and Steve went from one memory to another.
The angry shouting of his father filtering through the crack under the door as the knob rattled dangerously. He covered his ears tightly, trying to block out the noise, but it was no use. The sound was as loud as before, like it was rattling around inside his brain. He whined softly, only to flinch at the sound of his dear old man's voice.
"Steven!"
"Steve?"
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Eddie was worried, to say the least.
He knew Steve was normally a grumpy person, heck he had seen it in the past few weeks more than ever. But this was something entirely different. In the past when the kids play pranks on him, he brushed it off with a laugh and a pat on the back, but Eddie could see genuine fear in his eyes as he climbed out of the pool. He had laughed with everyone else, it was pretty funny to see him struggle against two teenage girls. But the more Eddie thought about it, the more guilt built into his chest. He was one of the adults of the group, he should know when it crosses the line. He should watch out for everyone, not just the kids.
So Eddie parted from the group, rolling back into the house to "grab a snack". It was cool in the house, compared to the warm summer heat, and Eddie basked in the relief it brought him. He rolled into the kitchen, grabbing a water and some chips as a peace offer to Steve before heading back out into the living room.
"Hey did you guys see where Steve went?" He asked calmly, pushing down the concern in his voice. Their eyes turned quickly, and Eddie just realized they had been in the middle of an important private adult conversation. "Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt, I can go find him by myself-
"He's in the bathroom, sweetie." Susan replied softly, "We were actually just talking about him, you didn't really interrupt." She offered him a soft smile. He nodded and turned to head in that direction.
"Careful, boy, he didn't seem to be in a great mood. I don't know what happened but he seemed out of it." Wayne called out gruffly, causing Eddie to pause.
"What do you mean, out of it?" He asked, unable to contain his tone for the younger this time.
His uncle shrugged, "He looked like we had just shot a puppy.. We're just a little concerned about him is all. You should probably be the one to check up on him anyways, he trusts you more than any of us." He responded before turning back to the others. And as their conversation picked up again, Eddie rolled away to the bathroom.
Now Eddie was really concerned. They hadn't meant for any real harm to come to the boy. What if he had hit his head? Or inhaled too much water? He was obviously pretty upset afterwards, Eddie hoped they hadn't made him too angry. He didn't know if he could deal with an angry Steve, especially in his current condition. He knew Steve wouldn't do anything to physically hurt him, but Steve was always one to jump on the defense. Eddie could feel his pulse in his throat as he knocked on the door, fully expecting it to swing open and reveal an enraged Steve.
But there was no response.
He knocked again, this time calling out to the boy, "Steve?"
Again there was no response, and Eddie was about to roll away. Steve clearly didn't want to talk, or just needed space. Eddie wouldn't blame him. He could tell Steve had been stressed about the preparations for today, and this might have just been the cherry on top. That was, until he heard a soft noise from the other side of the door.
He almost didn't catch it, it was so soft he could have assumed it was a pipe somewhere making noise. But there was a low wine coming from inside the bathroom. It reverberated off of the walls, and certainly caught Eddie's attention. The only other time he had heard such a noise was when Steve got attacked by the bats and was trying so hard not to make noise as Nancy wrapped him up in her torn up skirt. To follow that, there was the softest noise of breathing, as fast as a marathon. It broke Eddie's heart into a million pieces. He tried the handle, and to his surprise it was unlocked. He pushed it open and felt his stomach sink at the sight in front of him.
Steve was sitting, still soaking wet, in the bathtub. His face was hidden in his knees but with the shake of his shoulders and the choked noises coming from Steve's throat Eddie could assume he was crying. He was breathing harder than Eddie had ever heard, and shaking like a leaf. His hands were up by his head, covering his ears when he wasn't punching them into his skull. Eddie wanted to sob as well, here was the leader of their little group having a full blown panic attack in front of his eyes. For a moment he had no idea what to do, he felt frozen in his spot. But then it all came rushing back to him. He was on the other side of the (surprisingly large) bathroom in seconds, and he reached out to the man in front of him. With soft words he coaxed Steve's hands into his own.
"Oh sweetheart, hey- hey it's okay. Gimme your hands, Stevie." It seemed to grab Steve's attention, as his glazed over eyes found Eddie's and his face crumpled even more. He half-heartedly tried to pull away from his grasp, but to no avail as Eddie moved with him. He did let go for a second to grab a new towel and throw it over Steve's shoulders and lift himself over the edge of the tub, but he was right back in record time. His strong arms wrapped around Steve's and he hugged him tightly, letting his warmth seep into Steve's frozen body.
steve whimpered softly, pressing his face into the crook of Eddie's elbow. Eddie hushed him and brushed some hair back away from his face. "It's okay, its okay, Steve . Just take some deep breaths for me, just breathe darling thats all I need you to do." He took some exaggerated breaths, and Steve followed along dutifully, albeit a little shaky. Eddie took a hold of Steve's hands and relaxed them, rubbing his palms with his thumbs and muttering soft words of encouragement.
After realizing who was with him, Steve sagged back into Eddie's chest. It was a nice contrast to the cold that had gathered in his chest, and he felt as if he could breathe in fresh air again. As he continued to breathe with the boy behind him, he felt more and more tethered to their reality, like Eddie was his anchor. As he calmed, he could make out the slow and measured words coming from Eddie, and the pressure around his waist. He felt like passing out on the spot, but he could never do that to his friend.
"M sorry-" He mumbled softly, several long minutes after his breathing had returned to normal, "you didn't have to do all that." he rested his head back against Eddie's shoulder so he could look at Eddie's face.
Eddie felt like he was missing something, "You don't have to apologize, man, I wasn't just going to leave you while you were having a panic attack." Steve hummed in acknowledgment, but didn't offer much more before pulling himself from Eddie's grasp, who felt a pang in his chest at the action.
"Yeah well I got your clothes all wet, lemme at least help you get changed." He offered Eddie a hand and helped carry him out of the tub and back into his chair. It was awkwardly silent as they made the journey over to Steve' s old bedroom, and Steve helped to pull out some dry clothes. As he turned to leave for Eddie's privacy, he was stopped by a gentle hand on his wrist.
"Steve, you know you don't have to feel bad for freaking out right? You got panicked, and I was more than glad to help. I care about you.." Eddie offered, staring deep into Steve's eyes for any sign that he understands. The latter froze up, and Eddie guessed he was right on the money as to what Steve's through process was. But the latter recovered quickly and shot him an easy smile.
"'Course I know that, Munson, you can't get enough of me." He teased before prying out of Eddie's grasp and reaching for the door, "I'm gonna go get changed, you should join the others outside again once you're ready. I bet they can't wait any longer for their Dungeon Master." He said with a wink before softly shutting the door behind him, and Eddie collapsed back into his chair.
He felt lost, like he was missing something big. He hated feeling like that, he needed to know what was going on with Steve and quick. It was pretty obvious by this point that Steve had been struggling right under their noses. He wasn't used to accepting help, and was quick to guilt himself for not being perfectly alright. Eddie prided himself on being able to read people easily, but this wasn't something he wanted to read. He felt helpless, like there was nothing he could do to fix this. He hated it.
He just wanted Steve to be alright. It wasn't hard for him to admit that he felt something for Steve, something more than platonic. Eddie had already come to terms with his sexuality a long time ago, he was used to seeing guys as incredibly attractive, but Steve was like a shot to the heart. He used to think Steve was some bigoted prick, who let people walk all over him. And he kind of was for a while. But he could see now that he had changed. Steve was far from being some rich asshole who had nothing better to do in his free time than get into fights. He was one of the most kind, selfless people Eddie had ever had the pleasure of meeting. He was so caring it hurt, so devoted to keeping everyone safe that he often got himself hurt in the process. He wasn't a bigoted prick, far from it, but he did let people walk all over him, and Eddie hated it.
He had been watching Steve from the sidelines for weeks now, and realized how much the boy lacked the ability to say no. It was like he didn't have it in his DNA to refuse anyone anything, even if it wasn't ideal for him. The only time he had seen Steve say no was just now, when he was being pushed to panic. Kids want a ride? Candy? Free Movie? Boom, done. But not just kids either, if he or the other two adults of the house asked for any small thing Steve was on it quick as lightning. It was kind of annoying, honestly. But Eddie wasn't an idiot, he knew what kind of terrible things that could lead to, and he didn't want to imagine Steve thinking it was all he was good for.
Eddie got changed quickly, to avoid any more suspicion from the kids, and rolled back out to the backyard. As he resumed his seat next to Robin, he got a questioning look but refused to acknowledge it. Steve would hate it if he went and told Robin without his permission. So he sat back for the rest of the day, glancing up to the window of Steve's parent's room as the boy paced back and forth. The only other time he got to see him was when the kids all rounded them up for the movie.
Steve was back to his normal self, as if nothing had happened at all. He wore an easy smile and joked with the kids like he usually does. But Eddie could see the eye bags under his eyes, hear the exhaustion in his voice as clear as day. Eddie wanted nothing more than to scoop him up again and tell him it's okay. That he didn't have to make himself small for them. But he couldn't with everyone around, and he doubted Steve would even let him. So he settled to sit back and watch whatever movie the kids had picked out for them.
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Steve had managed to make it through the whole night without anyone bringing up his absence earlier that day. Watching the movie went smoothly, and as the kids ran out the door with Joyce and hopper close behind, he even got some hugs from the little gremlins. After they all left, and the others went to get ready for the night, he set back to the kitchen to clean up the mess they had made. He was halfway through their dishes when he heard someone come up behind him.
"Steve you know we need to talk.." Eddie said softly, and he felt a lump form in his throat. He turned to look at his friend.
"About what? Is something wrong Eds?" He tried to look concerned, opting to ignore the bubbling panic in his chest. Eddie gave him an incredulous look.
"Steve." He sounded exasperated, making Steve's heart speed up even more, "you know what this is about."
Steve swallowed shakily, nodding and turning back to his work in the sink, "yeah, no- I'm sorry about earlier, it won't happen again." Eddie's face softened and he rolled over to where Steve was standing. He wrapped his arms around Steve's waist, and nuzzled his face into Steve's back.
"You're allowed to have panic attacks, Steve. You're allowed to not be okay." He muttered, muffled by Steve's shirt. The latter felt his chest ache, like it had in the bathroom earlier. He wanted to ignore it, swallow deep down and never think about it again. If only his dad were here right now. He knew exactly what he would say.
"Suck it up, Steven." He would hiss, "You're a Harrington, boy, you're not weak. No one is going to think my sons a pansy."
Steve couldn't help the sudden stutter in his breath and the shake of his hands, or the fact that his eyes started to sting. He was so lost, so confused. It was starting to become too much. Eddie was flipping his world around, and he just needed to go back to normal. He needed to cry, he needed to be alone with his thoughts until they turned to mush. But he couldn't bear to push Eddie away. He rested a gentle hand on Eddie's head, wiping his face with the other.
"Mm-" he whimpered embarrassingly before clearing his throat and responding, "thanks-? I have to finish cleaning but uh-" Eddie looked up to him with those sad doe eyes and Steve's knees almost gave out on him.
"We'll talk more after, okay, big boy? Don't forget about me Stevie." He said with the smile that spreads like butter a wink, making Steve's face heat up. With that he retracted his arms and rolled away, and Steve was alone with his own thoughts once more. He stood there for a second, trying to wrap his head around what just happened, but eventually he sniffled and went back to work.
He didn't know what he thought anymore. It was like his brain was all mixed up, he didn't know what he was even supposed to think anymore. He just knew that Eddie was scrambling his brain like eggs on toast, and god, it was making him feel all kinds of things towards the other. On one hand, he was loving the attention. He selfishly wanted Eddie curled around him around again, messaging his tense palms and speaking sweet nothings into his ear. He craved it so desperately, it felt like he couldn't survive any longer without it. he had been waiting his whole life to feel that kind of pure affection, and he couldn't bear it anymore. It was like Eddie was filling the last bits of that swallowing hole inside of him, patching up all the damage with his simple little acts of love.
On the other hand, he hated it. He had gotten so used to not getting that kind of attention that he built his little protective shell around himself. He had to be so careful with letting the right people in, because he couldn't risk getting hurt again. As much as he wanted to let Eddie in, the thought terrified him. He didn't know what he would do if Eddie turned out to be some prick like Billy. Just the mention of the man made his skin crawl; he couldn't let that happen with Eddie. He also didn't to hurt Eddie himself. Nancy had said it herself, he's bullshit. He's a terrible boyfriend, always avoiding problems and throwing on a fake smile to make everyone happy. He'd never put Eddie through something like that.
Before he even realized, he had finished cleaning and putting away the dishes. He felt his heart beat sped up again, was he really ready to go talk to Eddie? The boy had this way about him, those large eyes that seemed to read Steve like a book. He knew Eddie could pry anything out of him, with the right words or soft touch of the shoulder. He hadn't opened up to anyone in the longest time, and he didn't know if he was quite ready to again. But he couldn't leave his guest waiting.
He knocked on Eddie's door, feeling the lump in his throat form once more. He resisted the urge to jump out of his skin when it clicked open to reveal Eddie in all his glory, gesturing for him to come in and make himself comfortable. Steve knew this would be far from a comfortable conversation. Eddie wore a worn out Guns 'n Roses t-shirt, with dark red checkered pajama pants, his hair pulled back away from his face in a lazy pony tail. He sat down in his old bed, the old frame creaking with his weight. Avoiding Eddie's dark brown eyes, he cleared his throat and finally spoke after a prolonged silence.
"Uhm- so what did you want to talk about?" He asked quietly, rubbing his sweaty hands together in front of him. Eddie paused for a moment, taking in the man in front of him. Steve seemed incredibly tense, like he was expecting to be hit or something. He knew if he was going to get anything out of Steve he had to make him more comfortable first. He pulled himself on to the bed in front of him, and scooted around until his body was behind Steve's. Just like he had done earlier, he wrapped his arms around the man and rested his chin on Steve's good side so he could hear him. He chuckled softly as Steve's face burned a bright tomato red.
"'This alright?" He hummed softly, smiling as Steve nodded frantically, and continued with his train of thought, "I just want to know what's going on in that head of yours, Harrington. What's got you so down, hm?" He asked calmly, slightly muffled by Steves shoulder. Eddie's thumbs rubbed gentle circles into his waist, and the boy practically melted at the motion.
"I- uh- I dunno-" he mumbled softly, his half lidded eyes glancing around nervously. He couldn't bring himself to form words, like his mouth was filled with cotton. His hands began to tremble slightly, a tell tale sign of his panic. But he pushed it down and shoved his hands between his thighs to keep them from shaking. Eddie was quiet for a moment before speaking again.
"Why don't you start with what happened today? I want to be able to help you if something like that happens again." He spoke slowly, as if talking to a spooked animal. His deep voice made a shiver crawl down Steve's back.
He couldn't help his knee jerk reaction, "You don't have to, I can deal with it myself.." He tried not to be offended by the scoff that came from the older.
"Sure you can, sweetheart, But you don't have to, yknow. I'm always going to be here to help, and I know everyone else in our little party would be more than happy to as well." Eddie hummed, his movements steady as ever. Steve was quiet for a second, considering his words.
Logically, he knew he could talk to Eddie. The man was the most patient and understanding person he had ever met. He already went out of his way to make sure Steve was okay, like no one had done for him before. He knew Eddie wouldn't make fun of him, hell, he had already seen Steve crying his brains out. So despite everything in his body screaming at him not to, he finally brought himself to open his mouth and speak.
"I don't... like.. my pool." He admitted, voice barely above a whisper. It was like he was scared to admit it, and Eddie nudged his face into Steve's shoulder to encourage him to continue. Steve looked up at the posters hanging on the wall to avoid Eddie's dark gaze. He knew his dad would throw a hissy fit if he saw what Eddie had done to the place.
"Uhm- I guess it's cause of my dad.. ah- among other things. My dad's a 'Grade A Asshole'.." He chuckled softly to himself, pointedly ignoring Eddie's sorrow filled expression.
"He used to- uh- He used to hold me under water? As a punishment.. He did it for a while when I was a kid. He doesn't anymore, for, uhm, obvious reasons but.. yeah- I mean the most recent he's done it was a few years ago when.. when Barbara Holland died in our pool. She was attacked by a demogorgan, which I guess is another reason why I'm.. scared of it. But I was in trouble because I threw a party with beer. I mean it was less of a party and more of a hangout with a few people.. But Barb went missing cause I dragged Nance upstairs and left her out so.. I mean in a sense I guess I deserved it." He finished, his voice shaking. His eyes were shut tight, and Eddie could feel his ragged breathing against him.
"Oh sweetheart-" He cooed, reaching a hand up to rub Steve's chest, in what he hoped was a comforting motion; and that's what broke the dam.
Steve brought a trembling hand up to his mouth to stifle the sob that clawed it's way out of his throat. His chest felt like it was burning as Eddie spun him around and led his head to his shoulder. He clutched onto Eddie's faded black t-shirt, cringing as he felt the fabric dampen under his face. Normally he would be mortified by the idea of breaking down like this in front of somebody. But he could feel Eddie's warmth around him, and faint smell of his shampoo, and he felt safe. He let Eddie coax the tears out of him, and instead of feeling like he was choking on his cries, it was like they lifted a weight off his chest.
He didn't even register the mumbles coming out of his mouth until he came back to his body, he was pleading for Eddie to stay like this forever and never let him go. He would have been embarrassed if it weren't for the words dripping like honey out of the older's lips.
"I know darling, I know. I'm right here, I'm not leaving you any time soon." He spoke, and Steve swore he could soar. He let Eddie rock the two of them gently, his hand coming up behind Steve's head and threading into his hair. The rings adorning Eddie's fingers felt like heaven against his burning skin, and he almost whimpered at the touch. Or maybe he did, that was between him and the metal head.
After what seemed like forever, Steve was eventually reduced to sniffles. He buried his face into Eddie's shoulder as they sat in a comfortable silence. Eddie played gently with Steve's hair, rambling softly about some nerd thing he and the kids were planning to do, but when he noticed Steve was calm again he paused to brush a wet strand of hair out of the ex-jock's face.
"You back with me, Stevie?" Eddie purred, brushing away the stray tears on Steve's face with the pads of his thumbs. Steve nodded, wiping his face with the back of his palm. Eddie rested their foreheads together. "Good."
If you'd have told Steve three years ago that he would be cuddling with Eddie "the freak" Munson, he would have laughed in your face. But now? He wanted nothing more than to stay in Eddie's embrace forever. It was admittedly a little weird to be this close with a friend, but Steve supposed it was that weird trauma bond thing Robin kept going on about. Or maybe more.. he hoped it could be more.
As much as he tried to shove it away, his feelings for Eddie kept bubbling up to the surface. It was clear now to Steve that his feelings were more than just a blood-loss induced crush, he was falling head over heels for the boy. Despite his best wishes, he couldn't stop those full dark brown eyes from invading his dreams and hanging his heart on the moon. It was clear, now more than ever, as Eddie's fingers ghosted over his puffy face. He hoped Eddie would assume his flushed appearance was from the crying.
"For the record.." Eddie murmured softly, breaking Steve from his train of thought, "I don't think you deserve to go through any of this." His eyes met Eddie's once more, the intense gaze throwing him for a loop like they did every time. Eddie took Steve's silence as a sign to continue.
"I know you regret what happened in High School, and yeah you were a douche back then.. but none of that warrants you being treated like this.." Eddie's hand found Steve's, giving it a gentle squeeze. "You've proven time and time again that people can change, that you can change- you practically throw yourself into danger just to save the little squirts, you're always there for whatever we need, you're so caring it hurts.. Wether you want to admit it or not, you- Steve Harrington- really are an amazing person.
"And you've gone through a lot of shit, I mean- like an insane amount of crazy shit that I can barely understand. And despite what anyone might say, you've never deserved a second of it. Says so right on my personal Munson doctrine." He teased, his heart swelling at the watery laugh it earned from Steve. The latter shut his eyes and let the smile warm his face.
"Yeah sure, nerd-" he retorted, drawing a barked out laugh from Eddie. But he bumped their noses together and lifted one eye open to say, "Thank you, Eds."
The two sat in their comfortable bubble a moment longer before Steve felt his eyelids start become heavier than usual. The last thing he wanted to do was fall asleep on Eddie after he vented his heart out and cried on him for the second time today. So he patted Eddie's leg gently and pulled himself away from the warmth that seemed to radiate off the other boy.
"I probably should let you get to sleep, it's been a long day." He said gently, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. Eddie joined him and bumped his shoulder playfully.
"We wouldn't want our dear babysitter missing his beauty sleep, now would we?" He teased gently, a smirk spreading over his features. Steve could feel himself heat up again. Goddammit Steve, you're down bard aren't you.
"Do you need anything before I go?" He asked gently, pulling a softer smile from Eddie's lips. The latter shook his head, patting Steve's back.
"Just get some rest dude, you deserve it." He said with a wink as Steve pulled himself up, "now leave before I start dissing Wham! on you."
Steve gasped and feigned disbelief, "You wouldn't."
"Oh you know I would."
Steve chuckled and made his way over to the door, "Alright psychopath, g'night."
"Goodnight Steve."