IX: Confession At the Stands
Jacelyn
I stand a few feet away from Lola while in the cave. I might have said I've forgiven her, but I am still heated from her calling me a midget. She has fleeting barriers against discrimination and stereotypes. She better start thinking for herself before she not only pisses off the leaders, the contestants as well.
The vampire dude slowly claps his hands, catching everyone's attention. I stay beside Marina and Maddie to give me space away from Lola. Even when I am not looking at her, I still feel her existence annoying me.
"Looks like all of you got enough running this time," he comments. He is not amazed. His tone downplays the shit we just faced. Try imagining running with a timer, which will kill you if you don't reach the final destination spot, along with a giant ass freaking tornado coming towards you. If this guy is not impressed, he should go home because he's drunk.
"Unfortunate to those who didn't make it," Drea being the second one to talk as always. "They died before confessing their sins, so they are all burning in eternal Hell. Somewhere you guys will go if you don't fess up on what you did."
"This is already hell!" Someone screams behind me. Yeah, all of us are losing it. We were taken by the demonic version of someone supposed to be dead. We could not be alive right now. Drea, Vampy, and Jaymie are demons to torment us for our 'sins.' Demons can lie. Our deaths may not mean the end. We will just wake up to the deeper circles of Hell. No one wants that, not even me.
Drea smiles in delight. "Good."
To them, they are doing their job right.
Jaymie gets closer to the edge, staring out at the audience. There's a hidden feeling that she is trying not to gawk directly at us. She 'knows' us personally and doesn't want that to slip out. I think it already did in the first round. "This trial is more about truth and honesty. You don't want to lie."
"Tell them, your prosecutors, what you did! Tell everyone the truth!" Drea raises her voice, almost sadistic and prideful. Truth is like their version of a twisted god. It might be a cult.
Vampy does his usual waving ritual before we send out to whatever trial he made for us again. How the hell did they come up with this stuff? We are in a city in the 1800s with the old homes seemingly looking fresh, carriages and lamps around the streets. It is daytime and mildly snowing. Locals gather around by the barriers with guards standing around them. The people stare at us, booing, along with remarks and slurs. We stand near the scaffold with two nooses set.
Our clothes have also changed, fitting the style of 1800s America. I am in a blue dress going down to my ankles. There is a white lacy bonnet attached to my head. I look like a girl in the working class from this period. I stare at my friends. Lola looks like a maid, an indentured servant, which makes me laugh inside my head. Fumes erupt from her ears as she judges what she is wearing.
"I loved the dress that I had on," she scoffs. "This doesn't look good on me." I noticed Lola wore an orchid blue dress when we entered the trials. We didn't care, so it was not acknowledged. She might have changed her clothes because her parents were about to take her to a Michelin-star restaurant so far away that she had to get a week off from school.
"I think it does," I say, almost teasingly.
"I'm not someone's maid. I'm someone's queen!"
"Who is your king, Lola?"
Her scowl threatens me to hush up.
Laura's hair is entirely covered by a pinky pattern headpiece, along with a long and thick pink and white dress. Headwear is a censored bar for her dyed hair, so the old-timer Americans don't have a heart attack from someone with unicorn hair. Her dress touches the ground. If this were a fashion round (I know it ain't), she would be considered one the prettiest.
Maddie is on a different spectrum. I don't mean slave outfits because the snow and coldness are indicators that we are in the north. She looks freer than her own race during this time. She is wearing a black dress with long white loose sleeves and gloves. She has a black top hat. Her hair is braided up into two ponytails. Very classy girl.
Destiny looks like a young Christian nun. A black veil covers her hair. Her dress is mostly black on the sides but white on the front. There is a cross hanging from her neck. I would never have thought of Destiny as a Christian. She is in a bad spot right now in front of these people. A troubled nun means she's screwed.
An executioner, a middle-aged man in a black suit, stands in the middle of the scaffold. I find Viking executioners are way hotter. Damn movies and TV shows. He raises his hand. "I ask for silence!" He shouts clear as day. Immediately, the crowd around us goes quiet. "These men and women committed such atrocious crimes. They have not spoken about what they did. Now, it is the time for them to confess publicly and pray that god has mercy on them. They have a right to indulge in their sins and pay their penance for what they did to be free–" I highly doubt that will come. The executioner finally smiles. "To reveal the devils, random people will get the rope. Those people will die if they fail to speak the truth, which god will tell us."
Lola, Maddie, Laura, Destiny, and I are at the back of this conviction crowd, so we might be the last ones to be picked. It takes a moment to see that Marina is not here. My eyes search left and right in this crowd of contestants to find her nowhere. There are less than eighty of us left. Some of the girls have blonde hair. She may be at the front.
"Let's get this started," The execution notifies. He snaps his fingers as he points to two contestants in the front. Both of them are women. One is young and has acne scars all over her face. She is in a thin white dress with a pale long-sleeved coat. Her hair is brown and brushed back. She can easily be a college student. The other is a Dutch-looking woman in her thirties in rich black clothing with golden patterns. He sets up the noose around their necks. My nerves pick up, knowing my friends and I will be in that situation soon.
He points to a man in our crowd and gestures for him to approach the scaffold. He does. He stands next to the execution, not looking scared at all. "Curtis Tayem, may you tell us what you have done," he calmly insists.
A crap-eating grin pops on Curtis's face. We got actual killers that don't give a shit up in here. My group and I are not at that level of damage. He says, "I hath killed mine own jointress."
What? This isn't a Shakespearean era. This guy is not taken this seriously at all.
"Dude, speak modernly!" A contestant in the middle shouts at him.
The executioner stares at the guy in disbelief before resuming, "Why did you kill your wife?"
"She shared her warm parts with another man." Curtis needs to drop that smirk.
The executioner growls at Curtis's words, going to the noose on the left and hanging the contestant. The woman struggles and struggles for a few minutes before falling completely still. The crowd starts insulting Curtis, who doesn't seem to mind.
Her corpse gets unhooked, and her body limps onto the ground like an actor fainting and falling off the stage in a play.
"Say the exact truth!" The executioner demands raspily while staring daggers at him. He makes his way to the other woman. The woman starts crying, begging him the same thing. Her hands are tied behind her back, making escaping more difficult. The only way out is if he explains the reason why.
"You women are always emotional," he states dismissively. Maddie and Laura drop their mouths while I give the guy my finger. This woman's life is on the line, and he brushes it off as hysteria. Of course, she is going to be crying. She is about to lose her life. Someone give him a penectomy without anesthesia because his balls are so cold that they are dead, like his heart. He won't be using those anymore.
"You sexist asshole!" Lola shrieks loud enough for him to hear. There are other vocalizations in and outside the barrier. This man caused an uproar on both sides. Curtis stays smiling, enjoying every moment of it.
"Language!" The executioner barks. All of us shut up.
Curtis leans to the executioner and lightly says, "She was being a square."
He is not amused. He starts to shove the girl off the pedestal with her screaming before she starts to choke. She shares the same fate as the other women. Dead.
"Just kill him," Destiny mumbles. "He is obviously enjoying this."
"The guy up there is tired of his antics," Laura whispers.
"He probably killed his wife because she didn't wash the dishes," Lola comments. "Why did that girl marry that dude anyway?"
"People mask who they truly are," I reply while directly staring at her. "It usually comes after marriage or after knowing them for a while. This could've been an arranged marriage. We never know."
Our conversation is interrupted by a gunshot. I look at the gallows and see Curtis's body on the ground. The executioner shot him. Good riddance. We get two chances at the cost of someone else's life before he kills you.
"Jacelyn," Lola calls me in a serious tone. "You better not pull that shit with us."
I growl, "I won't. What makes you think I will do that?"
"Looks like he will call on you, Jace. You better be honest on behalf of all of us, not just yourself."
I retort, "Will you do that too if he calls on you?" Laura, Maddie, and Destiny look at her with pleading faces.
Her jaw drops. "Excuse me? You think I don't care about my friends?"
"I never said that. Answer the question without fibbing."
She is silent for a few moments. I can hear contestants telling everyone about what they have done behind me. Hidoi Sawada pushed a classmate off a balcony after he cruelly 'pranked' his sister. Keith Winterbottom strangled his girlfriend's kid to death ...Compared to the rest of these criminals, why are we here? Are we really at the caliber? I don't think so. They are so low. We got the worst ones like Curtis and Keith. All we had was a girl kill herself over words. A crying little snowflake.
"No, Jacelyn," Lola replies.
"You better not lie. You know they hate liars."
Aren't you a liar a bit of yourself, Jacelyn? My thoughts abruptly ask. It sounds so weird and foreign like a ghost is putting a thought into my head or a subconscious warning. Am I?
The time seemingly went by. Those who tell the truth vanished. A liar, Martin, makes the executioner hang a person, Jared. Martin's friend-in-crime later turned enemy by snitching. Martin admitted that he purposely lied to get Jared hung because 'snitches get stitches.' They both robbed and killed an old man in his own home. Martin escaped, but Jared didn't. Jared must've wanted a lighter sentence.
Didn't the trial leaders say that murderers sometimes get away with it? Is this the reason why we are all here? Hmmmmm...
This means anyone can be a liar. And from that abrupt thought, I might be horrible at honesty too. I must remember the true memories and words before getting to the stand.
Those who escaped from being lynched confessed their wrongdoings before disappearing themselves. Those who died from execution lie on the cold stone ground, blue and dead. There is bruising around their necks, warning how tight the rope is. My friends are close enough to see the marks and the deceased's glossy eyes.
Then, it was down to us five. The executioner stares down at us condescendingly. "Young girls," he says with dissatisfaction. He points to Laura and Maddie. "Laura Umburgh and Maddie Amlet, up here now."
Laura inhales deeply while Maddie looks sickly as they both dread their way up to their spot on the rope. He sets the ropes around their neck. The mini stands are what is keeping them from choking. He ties their hands behind their backs, so they can't pull the noose when he kicks the stool below them. I hear Laura's whimpering breaths while Maddie closes her eyes, dying to live and living to die.
The executioner looks down at us again. "Who will do the talking?"
Lola, Destiny, and I look at each other. Lola gives me that stare that I better do it or else. Why won't she do it? If she is so damn concerned about me not telling the truth, why doesn't she make the confession? My god. She is getting on my nerves. My nerves are killing me too.
I gulp down the rising mucus in my throat as I slowly turn back around to him. "I will..." I say, almost stuttering.
"Go on then," he orders.
I take a deep breath. I must say why we are all here. I might as well say the girl's name, so Jaymie can hear it in the cave. "We killed... a girl... named Ash. We bullied her to death."
Why do you sound like you are in denial, Jacelyn? Do you really think you did this to a girl? Or didn't do it? Those thoughts return again.
"Can you tell me what you girls did to her then?" He asks, not moving from the middle for now. "You will save a lot of time if you do."
I gulp again and fold my hands. "I will do my best." I don't want Laura and Maddie to die. No. I still want them by my side.
Memories surge from the hidden doors of my brain. We always thought Ash was weird in middle school and never said anything to her. It wasn't until her former friend, Destiny, became our friend that we started to make phrases at Ash.
The tale begins here, "We always thought she was creepy for being the odd one out. We didn't say anything until Destiny came along. She agreed she was the weirdo and gave us the idea to attack Ash verbally."
Destiny longly sighs.
"Picked on how she looked. We thought she was ugly." My heart thumps loudly in that line.
Guilty, aren't you?
Maybe.
We all watched Heather throw Ash's binders and stuff on the ground near the end of Ash's days. "We also threw Ash's items around. Heather did mostly on that part. Even though she is dead, we are part of the blame."
This is much harder to speak. I thought I would brazenly say it and barely scratch the surface, yet here I am, digging through old memories and shit.
A flashback hit. I saw Lola shove Ash out of the way while in the gym changing room. She was in her way, and most of the girls had left to wait for the bell. Ash was putting her top back on before she yelped as she face slammed into the metal lockers. "We also got physical with her... I should count that as assault. Lola was mainly part of that branch."
Ash may have been under eighteen, but we are close to adults. I am not a law follower unlike my parents and I initially thought. Lola has been the most physical with her. We should take accountability since we did it as a team project.
We are worse than Ash after all... I never heard shit about Ash having a criminal history. She really hits in the quiet-kid trope.
"No, I was–" I hear Lola speaking up from behind me before I hear a hand colliding with her mouth. Destiny covers her own mouth.
"Are you trying to get your friends killed?" She snarls at her. "Let Jace do the talking. Clear?"
Lola growls from behind me while pushing Destiny's hand off. "Why isn't she talking about her own faults then?"
Then, there is Laura, who was always not saying anything terrible about Ash, worried about whether we were doing anything wrong or would get into trouble. She didn't demand us to cut it out. She was a low-key bystander. Those who stand around and don't stand up are just as guilty. I'm sorry, Laura. "We had people who felt something was wrong but never said anything directly. It was perhaps fear of getting bullied, getting in trouble, or losing friends." My gaze meets Laura on the stand. Her eyes are red from crying. She knows I am talking about her. "That was Laura."
Maddie, the girl with electronics skills, is the main cyberbully. Wait, we also did that. "In our timeline, we have electronics that send media immediately. We used that to harass Ash even further–"
We made pain follow her home. "We made pain follow her home," I say in sync with the thoughts, surprising me. I felt like I was possessed. I almost cover my mouth, but I don't. What if I was in Ash's shoes? I was being harassed, assaulted, shit thrown at me, and being mostly alone. My first thought is to use my home space as a shield, but it never ends when the trouble stalks me home and online.
Alone. I can't live with that. It feels so absent without my parents home most of the time. Ash and I have something in common: our social network is imbalanced. My only social time is with my friends, and sometimes, they cut me off or concentrate on the supposed leader, Lola. I am jealous of Lola and Ash. We were using Ash as a target, and she got attention from us. I just want eyes on me for a little while. That's all I ever wanted.
Lola is the attention hoarder, while I am desperate for it. I feel it always lacking. I will do anything for it–
A flashback hit. It was weeks before Ash committed suicide. I was home alone while my parents were away again. I stared at my screen, watching my friends start talking about Ash. I've only seen Ash walking through the hallways beforehand. I might have said some crap–the usual. She was always in our daily conversations. Couldn't they just give it a rest or talk to me? The only way to get what I wanted was to...
...Shit.
My body heats up like an oven. I start to sweat and moderately shake. I want to bawl my eyes out. I see the images of Ash touching me at school and always watching–
Are they real? My brain snaps. My heart thumps. So vivid, yet so questionable.
Get real. This is only a fabrication.
...Ash would never make moves on me. Again, she was a loner. I never saw her date anyone in high school at all. She would never serenade many girls who made her life a living hell, whether she deserved it or not.
Not deserved.
We were bullies. Bullies into lovers is messed up. She wanted to get the hell away from us.
"Jacelyn, please talk. I can see it," Maddie urges.
"We-We also spread rumors about her. I severed her reputation..." I inhale deeply, about to throw up.
It needs to come out.
"...A false assertion convinced everyone that Ash was a... pervert, a predator, including me," I hate saying that word, but I don't want to say whore. Whores are on a different standard; they are paid to bang.
Laura's head raises toward me. Her fear mutates into a realization of what I am referring to. Don't beat around the bush, she mouths. Just say it. I see Maddie's eyes on me. Her brain is still gluing the puzzle together.
You can't get out of this. You knew it was coming. I can't get out of this. I knew this was coming.
"I l-lied about A-Ash groping me!" I shout at the top of my lungs. My mental barrier breaks, and I am on the verge of crying. The people that confessed before us are gone, but I wish they hadn't. I'm just as bad as them.
Anger and shock booms from everyone. The crowd shouts their usual vocal jabs at us. I don't expect them to clap for this mighty confession. They probably don't know what is going on, but kill me, I'm not lying. I don't have to look at Lola and Destiny to see them pissed at me. I feel their rage is building up like a storm. Laura lowers her head while Maddie's eyes widen before pressing into a thin line.
"I-I manipulated myself of it being real! I messed up! I was the one that killed her! I was the tipping point! I shouldn't pushed it away as Ash's decision to end her own life when I was the one who ruined it! I'm sorry, Ash! I went too far!" I collapse to the ground. I'm mad at myself, shaking in my hatred for myself and regret. I broke laws. Attention is a drug and can be a bitch if it is in deficit, BUT I knew right from wrong. I did a wrong, a really, really, REALLY bad wrong.
I hear it all the time, 'people cry when they get caught.' I'm crying because I caught myself in my own bullshit, too delusional, until reflection and thoughts hit. It was not the Bully Trials leaders that made me regret; it was my own mind telling me I fucked up. My lie has gotten my friends and students to rally on Ash. How can I point out the hypocrisy in others while I am a liar myself?!
Everything grays out in this world. The world was already depressing when we first entered. It's now blending into one big fog of gray. I don't look up or care if my friends are looking at me in this state. They may (or will) not see me as their friend anymore. I'm so sorry, Ash. I'm so sorry, Jaymie. "I don't care if god forgives me. I'll never forgive myself. I'm so sorry, Ash. I'm so sorry, Jaymie." From what I deserved, I am going to die alone.
Skeletons in Our Closet
1. What do you think how will Jacelyn's friends will react to her? What will they say? How will this affect the group? This sounds like an open-book answer in a class group discussion. Unlike the mandatory homework that you're procrastinating to do, this is optional. Lol
2. Jaymie doesn't care if other contestants are aware that she knows Jacelyn
3. Where's Marina?
4. The audience's insults were kept vague because some were racial slurs (Hint: 1800s), and neither of us was comfortable, nor had the pass to say it.
5. Lola and Maddie were supposed to go up under the ropes in the outline. It was changed to Laura for some character progression.
6. Jamie thought this would be a small chapter because of fewer bulleted events in the outline. Jacelyn was only going to admit that they made Ash end her own life and that was it, not go into some detail. She is also a liar. Ace's editing makes it even longer.
7. How would Jacelyn progress (or decline) in the story?
8. Do you wanna guess the death toll? Correct guessers will get a shoutout in the next chapter! Let Ace do all the work.