~
I'm sat quietly seething watching the tv when I hear the door finally unlock. She takes her time taking her coat and shoes off, and I can hear her sluggishly throw her keys in the bowl. It's odd because she usually calls out, or rushes in to wherever I am to wrap me in the biggest hug and shower me in kisses. She's quiet. My guess is she's probably guilty for not getting in contact.
I bite anyway. "What time do you call this, Styles?" I shout as I hear her walk down the hallway. The living room door opens and I don't move to look at her, happy to punish her by keeping my eyes on the tv. "Seriously, I'm pissed off." I add, fuming. "I was sat worrying about you and I'm guessing your phone died again!"
I chance a look at her, giving her my best glare but it soon fades away at the devastation etching her beautiful face. She looks like she's been crying.
Panic rushes through me as I throw the blanket off me and rapidly get up to pull her into a bone crushing hug. "What's happened?"
She sighs as she squeezes me tighter, but doesn't respond. I worry as I pull back, my eyes scanning her body and her face. "What's wrong? Are you hurt?"
"No, i'm not hurt I just—" Her voice cracks and she falls into me again, basking at being in my arms. She lets out a shaky breath. "I just need you."
"I'm here." I soothe, kissing the side of her head. "I'm here."
She pulls back and takes her phone out her pocket, completely smashed as she holds it up to show me. "Threw it against a wall. I'm sorry for worrying you."
"I don't care as long as you're okay?" I reiterate as I take the phone off her and place it on the coffee table. I nod towards it and ask, "Why did this happen?"
She sits on the sofa and pats for me to join her.
"My Dad's got in touch." She says after a beat, her eyes down. "Well, he's threatened to sell stories to the papers unless I meet with him."
This genuinely shocks me. "Seriously? He's got some nerve." I say, watching as her jaw clenches. "Do you think he wants money?"
"Probably." She shrugs her shoulders at me, an empty look in her eye. "I don't even care at this point. I've not see him in eight years, but he's come out the woodwork for a reason."
She runs a hand through her hair. "I don't want him in my life, Le." She adds through gritted teeth.
I sit impossibly close to her and hold her hand. "You don't have to see him, you can turn him away." I try to reassure.
"He's put me in a bit of a position." She winces, "He knows I won't want him selling lies to the press, so I've got no choice really." I feel her give my hand a squeeze as she gives me a small, reassuring smile. "I'll be ok. It just brought back a lot of old hurt."
I lean forward and give her a chaste kiss. "It's ok, I've got you." I say as we pull back. "When are you planning to meet?"
"Tomorrow."
"Fuck." I breathe out, shocked. "That's a quick turn around."
"The team want it over and done with as soon as possible." She says as her leg starts to bounce. "It'll be on neutral grounds, he's not coming here that's for sure."
"And it's just you and him?"
"Marco will be outside incase it gets heated." Protectiveness flares in me at the thought of that. She shrugs casually. "But yeah, just me and him."
I lace our fingers together and clear my throat, unsure of where I stand. "Do you need me with you?" I ask quietly.
"I would never ask that of you, Leah." She agonises and I can see her eyes start to glisten. "He's a piece of work." She adds with a bit of venom.
"You're not asking it of me." I assure as I put my arm around her shoulder and pull her into my side. "I want to be there for you." I encourage. "Even if it's ugly."
She turns her head and leans in to kiss me softly.
"I do need you." She says after a beat, quietly into the small space between our lips.
"Then i'll be there." I punctuate with another kiss. "Always."
~
I've heard stories of Michael Stones from Izzy. Selfish, conniving and nasty. To top it all off an absent father and an addict. I'm trying not to let my thoughts of him show as we wait for him to arrive. I've seen a rare picture from when Izzy was a kid, but nothing could prepare me for the initial shock of seeing him in real life. Marco escorts him through the door of a rented apartment, a meeting ground that's supposed to be low-key and quiet. I can see straight away Izzy has his eyes, but his lack that spark. Other than that there's no resemblance.
There's a small silence as Marco gives us a nod and leaves, stating he'll just be right outside.
Michael stares at us for a second, before a proud smile breaks on his face. "Alright, kiddo." He directs to the woman stood next to me with her arms folded. Izzy gives him a blank stare and the room is filled with awkward silence. He looks like a creep. I can see up closer he's dishevelled and has aged badly.
He turns to me and tries it. "And you're Leah Williamson!" The man shoots me the fakest smile. "I've seen lots of your games—"
"Cut the shit, Michael." Izzy cuts in with a harsh tone. "Why are you here?"
She doesn't play about.
"You're still so rude, Izzy." Michael retorts, a flash of anger in his eyes. He tries to school his features as that fake smile appears on his lips. "Can't a father want to see his only daughter?" He holds his arms out as if wanting her to come in for a hug. "It's been years."
Izzy ignores this gesture and shoots him her own fake smile. "Excellent way to see me by the way." She sarcastically states. "Threatening to sell stories to the press."
"I had to get your attention somehow." He remarks with annoyance. "Meanwhile you've been off galavanting the world." He puts his hands on his hips and shakes his head disapprovingly. "Awful how the only updates I get from your life are what I read online."
I narrow my eyes at him, my dislike for him increasing by the seconds.
Izzy remains unchallenged. "You lost the right to be in my life many, many years ago." She claps her hands together once and levels with him. "Now, I'll ask you again." Michael swallows, clearly annoyed his mind games aren't working. "Why are you here?" She questions.
"I want to have a proper relationship—"
"Money?" She chimes in.
"— I want to be in your life—"
"It's money isn't it?" She says again as she wiggles her eyebrows.
"Will you have some fucking respect!" The facade breaks as he rages, pointing a finger towards her. "You always run that fucking mouth of yours!"
Izzy looks towards me and shrugs. "The doting father act lasted all of thirty seconds."
"Fine." He snaps, exasperated as he holds his hands up. "I have been struggling." Izzy rolls her eyes as he panics. "But I mean it! I miss my baby girl."
I tut at his pathetic display.
Izzy just laughs humourlessly. "Wow. You've got some fucking nerve I'll give you that." She does a few slow claps and I watch as his fist clenches. I naturally step forward. Izzy is blind to this though, as she continues on. "What was it? Two months after I was born you ran off?" He flinches as he's called out, the act well and truly up. "And wait let me think..." She taps her chin and pretends to think. "I've seen you just around a handful of times since then." Izzy fake pouts as she taunts, "But you miss your "baby girl"."
"You're still my flesh and blood." Michael says darkly. "Those two months I raised you. Your mother wasn't interested."
I see something in Izzy's eyes flash.
"You didn't raise me!" She bites back and points an accusatory finger at him. "You chose to walk away!" I watch as her neck reddens, a fury ablaze in her eyes. "The only person who loved me from day one was Nan." She looks at him in utter disgust. "You two weren't fit to be parents. You're not even fit to be people." The anger simmers down and I can see she's just genuinely upset now as she utters softly, "How you're not ashamed of yourself, I'll never understand."
"No, your Nan poisoned you against us." Michael argues, still not giving up. "You wouldn't understand because you were a child."
"Oh, I understood alright." She says bitterly. "And I became a child who craved affection but was too scared to accept it." I watch as she fights angry tears off and It's taking everything in me not to step in. She looks down at her feet and sighs. "Then a teenager who was desperate for love but searched for it in all the wrong places." She looks back up at him with an icy glare. "You could've ruined me!" Her eyes flash with a deep hatred. "And gosh, you nearly did." She shakes her head. "I can't ever forgive you for that."
"I'm your Dad!" The older man shouts, falling back on the one thing he's got. It's too late though, he's lost her.
"You were never my Dad!" Izzy shouts back, matching his energy. "You were just a man who broke my heart over and over!"
Michael scoffs and rolls his eyes. "So dramatic. Your Nan was putting stuff in your head, I bet."
"Oh, fuck you." She bites and It takes everything in me not to cheer. "If It weren't for her I don't know where i'd be." She looks him up and down and pulls a face. "I saw you for what you were, I didn't need any influence."
"Iris loved keeping you from us." He tries again, desperate. "She wasn't the Saint Iris Styles you're lead to believe." He curls his lip. "You were her little do over since she messed up your mother so much."
"Maybe I was." She says, refusing to bite. "But that woman loved me, more than you or mum ever did." Izzy shakes her head and huffs. "She never kept me from you. She protected me." I look between the two, the same steely look in their eyes. Michael knows he's lost, and I can see the angers boils in him. I'm hoping Marco steps in soon, because I have a feeling they're both going to push each other. "Not like you ever made an effort anyway." Izzy finalises with a judgmental look.
"I tried to see you!" He exclaims. "After your Mum passed you had my number, you never made an effort either!"
What a piece of shit.
Izzy's eyes widen. "I was ten!" She argues back, completely exasperated. "You haven't changed at all, Michael." She states as she looks him up and down in disgust. "You know what, I'll give you some money. Whatever you want." She finalises, completely finished with him. "Just fuck off, and never contact me again." She waves him off, her voice void of emotion. "I'm done."
This seems to actually shut the man up as he stands in shock.
I can't help the pride that runs through me as I reach for her hand, "Izzy." I say softly as she looks at me with watery eyes. "I'll go get Marco to show him out."
Michael panics. "You're just like your mother, you know!" He accuses. I just want him to shut up. "Selfish. Self absorbed." He points a finger at us and seethes, hitting her in all the places he know will hurt. "Look at you forgetting about real family and living lavishly with your little girlfriend." He nods towards me and looks back at Izzy with an evil smile. "You think that'll last?"
I glare at him and step in front of her. "I am her real family."
"You'll leave." He taunts and I have to hold myself back from throwing him out the room. "Eventually, you'll leave." Michael looks at Izzy from over my shoulder. "You know that, don't you kid?"
"If I were you, I'd stop whilst you're ahead." I warn, never taking my eyes off him.
He holds his hands up in mock surrender. "I'm just saying, Leah." I almost shudder at the way he says my name as he points over at Izzy once more. "She's got that same rot in her that her mother did. I can see it." He sneers. "You can hide behind this act but we both know what self destruction that came from her, lives in you too."
"You're wrong." Izzy says quietly from behind me, her voice small.
"Am I?" He smirks. "When you've lost her and have no one left who loves you, I hope you think of me."
It happens quickly.
Izzy launches across the room in a blind rage. I'm certain she's going to hit him - which he deserves - but the look on his face says this is exactly what he wants. I'm quick to react, as I reach around her waist and pull her back. Her strength like this is unreal as she claws to get at him.
Michael laughs, "Here she is!" He's practically glowing now, happy with the response he's elicited out of his own daughter. "That boiling temper, i'm not the only one who apparently hasn't changed." He scoffs. "You were like that as a baby you know? Always angry and screaming for no reason." He points as I finally manage to drag her back. "Never content."
"Izzy." I say and make her look in my eyes. "He's not worth it." I watch as she cranes her head to look at him but I grab her chin and make her focus on me. "He wants you to lash out."
I breathe a sigh of relief as Izzy nods and calms down a little.
I didn't realise he had approached us as I turn around and shove him. "Back off." I can see that's shocked him as he stumbles back from the force of it. "Now."
I get the brunt end of that evil sneer. "Who are you, her protector?"
"Right now I am." I say proudly as I march towards him, he steps back under the weight of my glare. "You're lucky I have some self restraint because you deserve to be put through the wall." Michael goes to argue but I cut in first, "Shut it." I nod towards the door. "You need to leave."
"I'm talking to my fucking daughter—"
"I said, shut it." I place my hand on his shoulder and drive him towards the door, I want to laugh at the sheer shock on his face over my strength. "Marco." I shout and the giant of a man opens the door. "She doesn't want to see him again."
I give Michael a shove towards Marco as the bodyguard nods and picks him up like a rag doll, dragging him kicking and screaming out of the room.
"Thank you."
I spin around to see Izzy slumped to the floor, her arms hugging her knees. She looks small and defeated and my heart breaks at the sight of her.
"I can't believe that's what he's like." I admit as I rush over, sitting down on the floor next to her. "I know you told me stories but that's worse than what I ever imagined. He's awful, Izzy." She nods in agreement. "Are you ok?" I ask as I put my arm around her. "Come here."
She nuzzles into me and I kiss the top of her head.
"Don't ever believe a single thing he said." I reassure as she fights tears. "He doesn't know you."
We sit quietly embraced on the floor for a while, and the fear sits in me as Izzy becomes increasingly withdrawn.
~
The following days are weird. Izzy refuses to talk about what happened, insisting she's over it and just wants to forget it. I respect her decision, but I know deep down she's hurting. She becomes quiet, I can't help but miss her usual cheery nature. Physically she's distant, usually she can't keep her hands off me in bed at night (or any time of the day for that matter) but she's just been turning over and going to sleep. I don't mind, I know it's hard for her and I'm happy to cuddle and just be there. I just wish she'd talk to me.
I've tried to ask, but she just pushes me away and insists she's tired.
It's one morning where the headlines come out, the day really goes to shit.
~
"I begged her for help, and she doesn't want to know me."
Izzy Styles's father on cruel treatment from his own daughter
LEFT TO STRUGGLE FOR FAME
Michael Stones, father of pop sensation Izzy Styles shares his side of the story with estranged daughter.
THROWN OUT ON THE STREET
Michael Stones gives exclusive interview on daughter Izzy Styles.
IZZY TURNED HER BACK ON ME
Izzy Styles father Michael Stones reveals all.
~
The press swarm Izzy's house as Marco pulls up in the car. He tells us to keep our heads down and he'll guide us to gates, the fortress of her Hampstead home will do the rest at keeping them at bay.
I take Izzy's hand as she insists I go first behind Marco, and I steadily hold her as we're swarmed.
"Izzy do you have any comments on the stories today?"
"Is it true you kicked your own Dad out on the street?"
"Do you have anything to say to Michael Stones?"
"Leah, what are your thoughts on Michael saying you don't have his approval?"
I try not to roll my eyes as Marco pushes them back, I feel Izzy come closer to me as one of her hands touches my waist.
"At least give each other a kiss for the camera?" One gruff voice says with a laugh. "We need a payday."
"Izzy how does it feel dating a hot footballer?"
I feel her hand tighten against my own.
The paparazzi laugh laugh between them as we get near the gate. We're almost there when one pipes up, "I'd fuck her."
Izzy drops my hand and whips around, confronting the men. "What was that?"
I try and reach for Izzy's hand again, too hyperaware of the cameras on us despite being disgusted by the comment. My focus is always her. "Babe, just ignore them." I plead as Marco looks back at the commotion. "Let's get inside."
"We're only having a laugh, Izzy." One says back as they continue snapping pictures.
"No, you're pissing me off." She replies back sharply. "Have some respect." She turns away and holds my hand again. "Scumbags." She says under her breath and I squeeze her hand for reassurance.
"She's right. Have some respect." I say back to them, furious of how they conduct themselves.
One of the men pushes his luck as he follows us on right outside the gate. "Ooo are you letting Leah protect you because you have daddy issues?" He taunts.
"Fuck this." Izzy says and in a flash she turns to grab his camera, lifts it in the air and smashes it down on the floor. To put the nail in the coffin, she raises her foot and stamps on it. "Get a real job." She seethes.
"Izzy." Marco shouts as he pulls us back. "Let's get inside."
"You broke my camera!" The paparazzi screams, picking up the bits and pieces of what's left of it on the floor.
Izzy shoots them a sarcastic smile as were ushered through the gate. "I'll break something else if you don't shut the fuck up!" She calls back over her shoulder for good measure.
Apart of me is in awe of her, the other half can't help but think she's just made it ten times worse.
Marco makes sure we get in the house, and he insists extra security will stay around the perimeter for the rest of the night.
He asks if I want to be taken home but I insist i'll stay with Izzy.
The clench of her jaw doesn't go unnoticed.
~
Izzy throws her bag off to the side blindly and sheds her coat, uncharacteristically letting it drop to the floor. I pick it up and hang it as I follow, watching her as she shuts down. She stands in the warm light of the kitchen and pinches the bridge of her nose. She finally acknowledges me as she looks to where I linger in the doorway, unsure of how to approach her when she's like this. She lets out a defeated sigh. "Leah, you should go." I watch as her hands shake as she levels with me. "Please." She begs.
I stand my ground. "Izzy, i'm not leaving you."
"No, I'm serious." She adds as I begin to approach her, her hand shoots out to stop me in my track. "I'm not good right now."
My heart shatters. "Baby." I try and coax her. "Let's just get you relaxed, okay?"
I flinch as she swipes fruit bowl off the counter, the pottery smashes into tiny pieces. "Just fucking leave." She yells. I know she's upset but it still hurts to heart her speak to me like this. Her jaw clenches as she fists her hair. "I don't want to relax! I don't want to forgive and forget!" She paces back and forth and gestures wildly. "I'm fucking angry! Just let me be angry!"
"Izzy." I come forward again, my hands hovering at the small of her back. "You need to calm down."
"Don't touch me!"
The warning shocks me. I've never seen her like this. She's never spoken to me like that before, like she doesn't want me near her. I refuse to leave though, and I know even though her words hurt she's just like a wounded animal right now - lashing out because she's scared.
"Okay." I say after a beat, my hands hovering away from her. "Okay, i'll back off." I step back and watch as she grips the kitchen counter. It breaks my heart to see her like this, and I try and find the words to settle her. I step back into her space hesitantly and speak softly. "Look, what they said to us is disgusting but you can't let them win, okay? You've come through so much my darlin' and I understand the heartache you must be going through right now after everything Michael said—"
She cuts me off with a humourless laugh and I hardly recognise her. "How could you understand, Leah?" She shakes her head, hands still gripping the counter as she stares ahead. "You grew up with a family that loves you. You had the perfect foundations growing up."
I see the anger slip into what it really is as she breaks finally, her voice watery as she fights the tears and slumps to sit on the kitchen stool, her head in her hands. "I'm the fucking product of that. And I can do my best to pretend i'm something more but I'm just not." She runs a hand through her hair and stares out the window. "Maybe whatever is in them is in me too." She ponders. "Because it's like I just can't be happy."
Something snaps within me.
"Don't say that." I anguish, the emotions running through me as I watch her break her own heart. "Please don't say that, Izzy." I plead as she stares ahead with a faraway look in her eyes. "You are so much more than him."
She says nothing.
To hell with it. I won't give up.
"Listen to me." I say with determination as I approach her again. I see her look at me from the corner of her eye and back down to her hands on the table, nervously playing with her rings. "Izzy listen." The tone of my voice must have broken through because she finally looks up at me, her eyes watery and lost. I place my hand on her shoulder and rub soothing circles with my thumb. "Whatever fucked up, disturbing thing that is in them is not in you ok? Don't ever think that." I see she goes to argue but I get there first. "And before you protest, do you want to know how I'm so sure of that?" She nods her head and I brush a strand of hair out of her eyes, fixing her with the most affectionate look I can. "You are the most joyful, loving person I have ever met. And you're right, I could never understand what you went through - not truly." I see a flash of guilt on her face as I continue on. "But I understand what's in front of me, Izzy." I reach down and relief washes over me as she lets me hold her hand delicately. "And it's a woman who's been forged in fire. Whatever pain they have put you through, you're stronger for it."
This is what does it. I watch her lips tremble as she finally breaks. "I don't want to be strong." She cries with her head in her hands. "I want to be safe."
"Oh, baby." I surge forward and throw my arms around her. "You're safe now." I promise as I kiss the top of her head. "You're always safe with me."
"I know." She mumbles into my chest. I feel her take a deep breath as she pulls away and gives me the softest look, her eyes shining with tears but looking more beautiful than ever. "That's what I'm scared of." Izzy utters and swallows as my heart breaks for her. I feel her hands grip my waist, holding me against her. "I've never felt so at peace with anyone like I do with you, and I'm terrified you're going to leave."
Her earlier behaviour suddenly clicks.
"That's why you tried to push me away?"
A sob catches in her throat as she sniffles. "I thought if I got a head start It would hurt less." She admits, her voice small and laced with sadness. "It doesn't." She breathes out, her shoulders deflating. I wipe away a tear as she leans into my touch. "I don't want to lose you."
"You won't." I answer quickly, never more sure of anything in my life. I hold her face in my hands and reassure her. "You won't."
"I'm not good right now." She breaks again, her eyes shut and more tears escape. "I don't want you to see me like this."
"Baby, I don't mind seeing you upset." I say genuinely as I kiss her cheek. "I wouldn't love you any less."
"It hurt." She agonises as she looks at me again. "I hate that he can still hurt me."
"I know." I console her as best I can, just glad she's finally admitting she's not been good. "But you won't feel like this forever. And I'm going to be with you every step of the way."
"Okay." She whispers as her hands come up to take mine. "I think I just need to sleep."
I can see she looks drained.
"Come on." I say gently as I coax her up off the chair. "Let's get comfy and in bed." I nudge her shoulder playfully. "I'll even tickle your back."
When that doesn't bring a smile out of her, I take her head in my hands again and wipe the residual tears.
The eye contact is intense. I can tell she feels remorseful for snapping at me, but I know she doesn't have the words right now."I love you so much." I whisper as I loop my arms around her to pull her into a hug. I'm almost crushed with the way she returns it as she mumbles 'I love you too' into the side of my neck. "Don't ever think that I wouldn't love every side of you, even the ones you don't want me to see." One of my hands cups the back of her head as I stroke soothing fingers through her hair. "I adore all of you, Iz. Even the parts you don't." I continue as I press kisses to the side of her head, soothing her. "I will spend forever showing you that."
~
I'm in a deep sleep when I feel a nudge against my shoulder.
"Mm?" I say to no one in particular, quickly dozing back off into the comfort of Izzy's pillows.
"Leah."
I slowly blink my eyes open. I'm barely squinting as I realise my arm isn't around her anymore, her space empty.
I feel the hand on my shoulder again.
"Wake up, gorgeous."
I turn and see Izzy sat on the side of the bed.
"What time is it?" I ask groggily.
Izzy winces and rubs the back of her neck. "It's half three."
"What's going on?" I say and try and keep myself awake.
"I couldn't sleep." She says and I see her lean to grab something off the bedside table. "I got up and made you your favourite cake."
Now I'm even more confused.
"Why?"
She gives me a smirk I feel I haven't seen in forever after the past few days.
"Come take a look."
I rub my eyes again and sit up as she places a plate with a round cake on the top:
I laugh and roll my eyes. "Izzy, you didn't need to do this." I reach across the bed and grab her hand. "You've not even been grumpy. I get why you've been so upset." I watch as her head falls down in shame. "Next time, if you ever feel like that, please talk to me."
She looks at me again, those gorgeous hazel eyes shining in the soft light of the bedside lamp. "I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you." I see the deep set regret in her eyes. "I was angry and upset and I took it out on you, I won't ever do it again." The fire in her voice tells me she means it. She clears her throat. "I tried to bury how I was feeling, but I was just so heartbroken. I didn't want to ruin what we had going on." She smiles sadly. "You know how impossibly happy i've been with you." She nods to the plate on my lap. "The cakes just a start, but I hope you can forgive me."
"There's nothing to forgive." I say earnestly as I watch her take a in a sharp breath. It breaks my heart that her own Dad speaks to her the way he did, and it all makes sense why she has a fear of being abandoned. I would never punish her for saying a few harsh words whilst her world was crashing down.
I can see she's thinking a million things, so I decide to throw her a cheeky comment to put her mind at ease. I arch my brow at her. "I'm more annoyed you've woke me up at 3am."
I beam as I finally get that winning smile that forms on her lips as she lets out a small laugh. She looks like home again.
"Good point." She notes with a glint in her eye. "I'll cover it up and we can have it for breakfast?"
"A better idea." I agree and start to settle back down in bed. "Pop that on the side and come back to bed."
She salutes me and puts the cake cover back on, moving the plate on the top of her large cabinet against the wall.
I pull the covers back and let her slide back in, she reaches back to turn the lamp off and then melts into my side.
"Hello." It's pitch black but I can hear her smile, and it fills my entire soul with warmth.
"Hi, you." I whisper back as her hands snake around my waist and she leans forwards to press her lips against mine. I cradle the back of her neck, my lips tenderly pressing against hers.
We trade soft kisses for what feels like hours, and it's this moment that lets me know deep in my bones we can get through anything together.