Finney's pov
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I was about to finish my shift at the hotel. It was around 4 p.m., and I didn't have another shift afterward, so I figured I'd just sit at home. That was my plan until I got a text.
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DM between Griffin and Finney
Griffin: Finneyyyyyyyyyy
Finney: Griffinnnnnnnnn
Griffin: Wanna hang out at the park today? :3
Finney: Sure, let me finish up my shift, and then I'll head over
Griffin: Great! South Lincolnton Park near the library（⌒▽⌒）
Finney: I'll be there in 20 (*^^)v
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I shrugged. 'Better than staying at home by myself, I suppose. I am kind of worried since Gwen is at Aunt May's house.' I thought to myself as I changed out of my uniform and into my usual hoodie and jeans with Converse.
I hopped in my car and started my drive to the park with Odetari songs playing.
After a 15 or so minute drive, I finally arrived at the park.
It did spark some memories with my mom as I saw a playground in the distance.
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7 y/o Finney Flashback (๑´ㅂ'๑)♡*.+゜
"Mommy! Mommy! Look! I can hang on the monkey bars for a bazillion seconds!!!" I giggled, and my mother chuckled too.
"I see that, honey!" My mother called out with her soft honey voice. It always calmed me.
"Can I push Gwen on the swings?! Can I?!" I jumped down from the monkey bars swiftly.
"Careful honey! I wouldn't have been able to catch you if you had fallen with Gwen in my hands!" My mother exclaimed.
"Sorry, Mommy." I apologized before rushing to the swings and signaling for my mother to put Gwen in one.
"Okay... but only for a couple of minutes." She caved and put Gwen in the swing.
"Thank you!" I smiled and started pushing my sister.
Gwen giggled and laughed and would tell me when to slow down for the next five minutes before my mother's phone dinged.
She took it out, and her face paled.
"Come on, kids. Your daddy got home, and he wants dinner." My mom ushered us away from the playground and into the car.
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I smiled at the fond memory. It was just one month before my mother had enough and ended it with her own bare hands.
I didn't blame her for leaving us. She loved us dearly, but she couldn't take it.
I understand now. I used to be mad. But now I'm content. I knew how that felt. I even almost left Gwen. I couldn't hate my mother for something I, too, almost did.
I sighed and stepped out of my car. "Stupid memories bringing down my mood." I grumbled.
'I've been remembering a lot of things lately. It's more than usual... weird.' I thought to myself as I approached the group.
"Hey guys." I muster a small smile, and they all reply back. However, Bruce seems to notice how my mood is more different than usual.
"...Hey Finney, can I talk to you in private?" Bruce asks me while the guys converse with each other.
"Sure?" I answer hesitantly as Bruce pulls me to a secluded area so no one can hear.
"What is it?" I ask, and Bruce sucks in air.
"Are you okay? You're acting... different."
I stay silent for a couple of moments before slowly nodding. "Yeah... I'm perfectly fine." I gave a small smile, and Bruce shook his head.
"No, you're not. You're forcing yourself to smile, and you hesitate to answer me." Bruce began. "You can tell me anything that's bothering you, Finney. I won't judge."
I hesitated before starting. "The playground...in the distance. I saw it when I first came here. And it brought up memories of my mom. They weren't bad or anything. But it made me miss her."
Bruce had a concerned expression. "If... you don't mind me asking...what happened to your mother?"
I stayed silent for a second. "She died...suicide. When I was 7. Because of my dad."
Bruce's breath hitches. "Because of your dad...?"
I nodded. "He was a piece of shit. Still is, I think. I haven't seen him since I moved out this year."
"What'd he do...?" Bruce asked carefully.
"He was a drunk. An abusive, degrading asshole. He didn't usually hit my mother, though. Just insulted her."
Bruce hissed slightly. "Abusive?"
I nodded. "Yeah...towards me and my sister when we were kids. I tried to make sure he didn't hurt Gwen, but sometimes, it was unavoidable."
Bruce pulled me into a hug, and I froze for a second before hugging back.
"Do you wanna talk about what happened?" He asked quietly, and I thought for a second before nodding.
"Might be nice to get it off my chest." I mumbled, and Bruce nodded.
"My dad was always drunk. It didn't matter if he had work the next day or not. Just constant drinking. He wasn't always violent or physical. It slowly got worse over the years. He would make us have 'punishments' if we did something wrong. He would make me walk on broken glass sometimes or would hit me with a dictionary if I messed up my wording." I muttered.
Bruce's breath hitched before rubbing my back, letting me know to keep talking.
"If my back was slouched, then he would slap my back with a wooden ruler until I straightened up. He would withhold my mother's food from me sometimes if I talked back. A couple times he...brought over his two friends. I can't exactly remember what they look like, but it doesn't matter since they got killed. They were involved in shady shit I guess. They would act weird. Touch me sometimes... I hated it. I bit one of them once because they tried to touch Gwen for the first time, they didnt get her, but my father got so upset that he smashed a bottle on my head. I had a minor concussion. "
My vision became blurred as tears filled my eyes. I buried my head in Bruce's shoulder as he pulled me closer.
"My mother tried to prevent everything and make me and my sister happy whenever he did something. She would teach us how to bake, watch movies with us, take us to the park, and play board games with us. Anything she could think of. I loved her a lot, but one day, she had enough. She-...hung herself when I was 7. Exactly two months after my birthday." My voice quivered.
"I found her. I made a horrible screech when I saw her and my dad beat me later on for it. His abuse got worse. Hurt more. I hated my mom for taking her life. For leaving us. But now I don't, because I understand why. I understand why she took her life because I almost did the same thing." My voice got smaller at the end.
I heard a choked sob from Bruce as he heard what I said. He pulled me impossibly closer to me, and I clung on for dear life. Tears slowly streamed down my face as I continued.
"I almost left Gwen. And I'm grateful I didn't. I'm grateful I woke up in that hospital because I can't bear the thought of her still living in that god-awful house. But at the same time, I understood what was going on in my mother's head. She didn't want to leave. But she didn't want to stay. She chose the easy route, and I don't blame her. Maybe she regrets it, maybe she doesn't. But I know I do. I regret those disgusting marks on my wrists and thighs. The thought of those pills sliding down my throat. It makes me feel sick when I think about it because I almost chose the easy route and left my sister in hell." My voice cracked at the end, and a sob escaped my mouth.
"But sometimes... I can't help but try again. Sometimes, I give in to the temptation of slitting my wrists and thighs. Popping pills in my mouth. Not eating. I don't do it enough to kill me, but enough to hurt. And I hate it so much, but I can't stop, I don't know how, and I don't want anyone to worry. God, I'm so sorry!" I whined as tears streamed down my face like waterfalls.
Bruce shushed me and pulled away, cupping my face and wiping my tears. It gave me slight deja vu.
"You shouldn't need to feel this burden. It doesn't matter to me or Gwen or Donna, or any of the boys. We want you to feel happy. But we can't if you don't tell us. I promise you, we won't judge you for the wars that you faced in your life. You're so strong, and we're so proud of you for getting this far, but it's expected that you can't stand all the pressure. We don't expect you to be invincible and carry the burden yourself. We want you to lean on us because we care about you a lot. Whenever you feel the need to harm yourself again, in any way, just come to me, or hell, anyone at this point."
More tears streamed down my face as I nodded, and Bruce pulled me into his chest and ran his fingers through my hair to comfort me.
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We stayed in that position for a good five more minutes until we separated. Bruce wiped my remaining tears and placed a soft kiss on my forehead. I didn't know whether it was to comfort me or something else, but I wasn't complaining. It felt nice, and it did comfort me.
When we got back to the other boys, they all saw our red eyes, messy hair, and stuffed nose, but they didn't question it. They did look a little concerned, though.
We had a good time afterward. We messed around, jumping from the swings, climbing up slides. It helped me relive a bit of my childhood, which made me feel better.
We left at 8 pm to get McDonald's, and then we headed home.
I got an earful from Gwen for worrying her, but she was smiling brightly after I told her where I was.
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1710 words
BRINNEY😇😘😜🤪😍🫶🤭🥰😻💍
The end is so rushed, I just wanted to get it over with, I'm so tired 😭
I'm trying to finish this story by the end of the week, but I won't make any promises🧍♀️
I hope you enjoyed reading, and I'll try to update soon <3