The banging on Spy's door was enough to already give him a headache. He sat up in his bed and rubbed his eyes. He shot a quick glance at the clock, 7:30 AM. So much for sleeping in, and as the banging continued he knew he would not be going back to sleep soon. Spy let out a low groan and rubbed his eyes. Not a single moment of peace in the base, not even on what is supposed to be their day off. He got up and sat in his chair with his back to the door.
"Go away." He yelled out, he didn't even have to get up to check to know it was Scout. Scout was the only person in the base brave enough to bother Spy in his smoking room. He picked up his cigarette case and pulled one out, attempting to ignore his son behind the door.
What he could not ignore, however, was the sound of multiple voices behind the door. While it was muffled, he could distinctly hear at least three different people outside of his smoking room, possibly more. Now he was sitting in his chair trying not to let his own curiosity get the better of him, forcing himself to be glued in his seat.
Another, far softer, knock could be heard and Spy looked over to the door again.
"Herr Spy?" The German spoke in a calm voice, he knew Spy was already irritated and did not want to annoy him further than Scout's aggressive knocking already did.
If they failed to get Spy's attention before they definitely had it now. Medic is usually in the medbay working on God knows what every day off, yet here he is bright and early, with Scout and at least one other outside his door.
He was so concentrated on the voices outside that he didn't even notice he had yet to light the cigarette in his mouth, he sighed and put it back into his case. His chair groaned in protest as he got up, as well as every muscle in his body. He wanted to just leave each of them outside the door, though he knew this had the possibility to be interesting enough to be worthwhile.
As he approached the door he could make out even more voices than he originally thought, when the door finally opened, seven men were staring at him.
"Ah! Spy! We are all very pleased to see you." Medic was as chipper as he usually was. While the years of late night espionage had made Spy far more of a night owl who liked his beauty sleep, he was almost certain that Medic didn't sleep at all.
"Gentlemen, to what exactly do I owe the pleasure?" He attempted to lace his voice with more venom than usual. Spy at this point was so curious about what almost every member of the team needed from him that opening the door was nearly thrilling, though he made sure none of them knew that.
"Listen, Spy, we really need your help here. We've all got a lil' secret mission for ya'. Oh you'll love it!" He bit his bandaged knuckle to stop himself from speaking anymore. Scout was so excited about this that he was nearly giddy, Heavy put a hand on his shoulder to stop his bouncing in place. Spy simply blinked in surprise, this was no doubt a mission for intel, but what information was valuable enough that each of them wanted it? He stared at each of their faces, it seemed they were all waiting in anticipation for his response.
"What is it?" He finally said, a massive bout of excitement hit the group, Pyro was happily clapping, Demoman and Soldier high fived and even Heavy gave a smirk. Before Spy could get another word in, his arm was grabbed and he was being led down the hallway. Each of the men were talking amongst themselves that he couldn't focus on one person, it didn't help that he wasn't fully woken up yet. If he was being honest, there was so much chaos that he could not even tell who's hand was pulling him.
He was brought to the usual conference room where they discuss mission plans, income and anything else important that puts Scout to sleep. After he was placed into a chair everyone else took their usual seats.
Both Medic and Scout were trying to hide their own laughter as they sat, Medic's smile was so large it was beginning to make Spy uncomfortable.
"Right now, better get started." Engineer broke the tense silence in the room. "You can probably tell by lookin' not everyone is here this morning and that is for a reason. We had to have this meeting before he woke up." Scout let off a snicker and Engineer gave him a look.
Spy cautiously looked around, someone was missing, Sniper.
"So what exactly about the Bushman has you all interested enough to bother me this early in the morning?" Spy cocked an eyebrow and crossed his arms.
"Well, today is Friday, though I am sure you already know that." Spy rolled his eyes and gave a simple "get to the point" look. Engineer swallowed before continuing. "We have all realized that every other Friday, Stretch disappears for hours. We were hopin' you would be able to figure out exactly where he goes Fridays, were all pretty damn curious."
As if by magical intervention, all of Spy's interest was gone. They were all willing to bother him this early in the morning just to find out what someone does in their free time. Spy couldn't care less what the bushman does when he is bored, knowing him it is something involving urine filled jars. He rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger.
"So, just to be clear, all you men want is for me to spy on Sniper because he won't tell you what he does on Friday nights?" He unfolded his arms and placed them on the table as he stood, ready to leave. Spy looked at each of them individually, he could see their hopefulness that he would do it fading.
Medic averted his gaze as he spoke, "Vell, it's not that he von't tell us-"
"You haven't asked?" Spy's eyes had gone wide. He could not believe they wanted him to spy on a coworker for information he would give up willingly.
"Well it ain't like he's an open book Spy. Have you ever tried talking to him about his personal life? He hardly speaks!" Scout hit his hand on the table. Spy thought for a minute and he realized that the boy might be right. Sniper is far more of a listener than a talker himself, his occupation demands it.
"Listen, all we know is that around six pm every other Friday he takes off in his van, and on average won't show back up at the base until three or four am." Engineer was clearly trying to keep the peace in the room, he knows that if they piss off Spy enough he won't lift a finger for them.
"The bushman probably goes hunting!" This was getting ridiculous. Spy recrossed his arms and sat back in the chair, the squeaking of the seat only adding to his frustration.
"At night? And comes back with no kill every time?" Heavy's voice was booming enough to gather the attention of everyone in the room. "Seems unlikely, Sniper is good shot, wouldn't miss a kill even in dark." The other men in the room nodded and mumbled in agreement. Spy shot Heavy a look, it is fascinating that even Heavy is interested in this. Heavy could tell what Spy was thinking from the look in his eyes. "Doktor won't stop mentioning his interest, so I am curious." He glanced at Medic and he smiled at him.
"If I may ask," Spy started, "why exactly are each of you fascinated with this?"
"Come on Spy, are you not just a little bit interested?" Scout gave him a sympathetic smile. "We are all makin' bets on what he could be doing! My guess is he is doing secret missions, where he won't tell us because it pays really well!"
"I am bettin on he does some real pansy shit that he would be embarrassed if it came out! Spy you gotta find out whats he doing! Do us a favor lad!" Demo spoke for the first time, despite it being seven am he is already slurring his words and has a scrumpy in hand.
The Frenchman looked around the room and let out an exaggerated sigh. Even if he thought this is far too idiotic for his expertise, he knows they will not let up until he agrees.
"Will I be paid for this?" He rolled his eyes as everyone else became restless in their seats.
"Five hundred bucks." Scout had a very large grin on his face. Spy's head flipped to his direction.
"Five hundred?! Just to see what he gets up to?" Spy was almost offended at the amount offered, he knows he is good but five hundred for such an easy job is absurd. The rest of the group simply nodded agreement with Scout.
"Ve know you Spy, you vould stab us if ve vent too low. Better to go high." Medic said rather matter of factly, he was really hoping Sniper was hunting and he could take the organs for his latest experiments. That after all would be the only reason Sniper doesn't bring the animal back to the base.
Spy gave one long look at the men gathered before him before giving a small chuckle to himself.
"I will do it if you promise to never wake me at this time again." He smiled to himself at the table as the rest all celebrated their victory of convincing the most unconvincible man in the world to do something for them.
Spy on Sniper, see what he does on a Friday night. He doesn't even have to know Spy is there, this is the most lightwork assignment he has been given since he started at ManCo. How hard could it be?