Own creation
TW- Baby loss
Sorry it's a long one . I'm trying to broaden my writing a little bit and want to try and make this an angst/tearjerking chapter.. I don't know if it is any good but I tried.
When the husband and wife of Isla and Joe Hendry announced the loss of their stillborn baby daughter on their social media pages after everyone from their fans to dirt sheets speculated over what was happening with the couple after Joe's sudden disappearance from a taping loop & in addition, a match that had been hyped up for weeks prior being postponed, but after wondering what if, they were all shocked when they found out the truth. As soon as they both made the decision to make their pain public , the whole wrestling community from fans, to friends to even legends in their business that they'd never met reached out & showed them both an unwavering love that they had never expected. However, what nobody around them had expected to see was Isla back in the ring so quickly after giving birth , but Joe, knowing his wife knew that her putting her head in the sand normally meant they were heading for a fall sooner rather than later.. what he didn't realise was how soon soon was going to be.
Walking into the womens lockerroom at the latest taping loop , Mickie, Shantelle, KiLynn & Tricia all froze as they saw the image of their best friend and tag partner in front of them, their normally spunky blonde woman was looking noticeably thinner & like she was barely holding her emotions together. Knowing that they needed to work together to get the woman talking, Mickie, being the oldest, walked over and bent down in front of the woman walked over"Isla? Honey? are you okay? we weren't expecting to see you back so soon ". Waiting and getting no response from the woman, Shantelle asked her best friend as she sat down next to her "Issy I really don't think she should be here, are you sure you don't want one of us to get Joe", snapping out of her own little world, Isla declared "no don't get him involved... I'm fine. Please don't bug him....I was just thinking in a world of my own". Watching the woman quite clearly lie to them,it was safe to say that none of the woman were buying what the woman was saying,walking towards the woman and sitting down, Shantelle replied with a smile as she wiped her tag partners eyes "you are a crap liar Blondie ". Watching the woman quite clearly lie to them,it was safe to say that none of the woman were buying what the woman was saying "you are a crap liar Blondie ", Shantelle replied with a smile as she wiped her tag partners eyes "you don't nt have to hide how you are feeling....not with us" Trisha added. Knowing she could no longer hide how she was feeling, Isla sighed and exclaimed, opening up for the first time since her and Joe lost Esme "I just.. I keep going over everything that has happened in my head and however hard i think about it, nothing is making sense... I don't get it ....I don't get why it happened... I don't get what I did wrong. When we found out that we were having her, even through the fear, we made sure that I did everything right, hell Joe wouldn't even let me raise a finger or train properly until I was after 12 weeks... why did it have to happen?". Unable to hold back her tears anymore, the pain she was feeling too much to bare, the woman broke down and as she did, her friends instantly surrounded her, giving her comfort "Isla, listen to me.... It is nothing you did...I promise you. Sometimes,especially as females in this business, these things just happen & they suck, but that little girl knew how much she was loved, I promise you that " Mickie exclaimed whilst hugging the woman that she had taken under her wing "I just... I don't know how to feel, I don't see anything apart from black"the woman sobbed.
As the woman attempted everything she could to calm herself down, Shantelle expressed her concern once again and declared "as much as you don't nt want to talk to him or see him, I really think Joe needs to take you back to the hotel Issy, you've come back way too soon, you're both still grieving" "I agree" Mickie added but noticing Isla's silence, Tricia told her to spill " I am struggling being around him....my own husband. Every time I look at him, I see her and how perfect she looked even being so young and I see his heartbreak in the room that we were in and after.... I can't do it to him. I cant be the reason for his pain....not any more" Isla declared before leaving the locker room, the action concerning everyone. Meanwhile , completely unaware of his wife's breakdown and the concern of her friends, "The Local Hero' was sat in the men's locker room, staring at his phone whilst in a world of his own, hoping & praying that his beautifully strong wife was okay and that she'd call or text him to let him know how she was doing & if she needed him, just like he needed her, however as the man stayed in the world of his own, the group of men in the locker room noticed the spaced out man looking at his phone with concerned etched on his face . Knowing that the man was struggling and wanting to get him talk, Josh Alexander joked "you waiting for it to bite you man?", hearing the man, Joe exclaimed sadly, snapping back to reality,"sorry man... was in a world of my own...I'm just waiting to see if Isles will message me to let me know she is okay.....it's..... It's her first day back since... since we lost Esme". Watching the man and seeing the concern and sadness on his face, Brian asked as Frank, Heath, Eric & Richard listened intently in as the man explained what had happened that morning "I know it is a really stupid question , especially given the circumstances, but how are you both doing? You lost a baby too and I bet no one has asked you". As Joe looked up at the men, he replied back with complete & utter honesty,something he hadn't done much "apart from the grief... I don't know, I really don't...I'm.. I'm worried, really worried about Isla . We have known each other for so long and ever since we have known each other, we have seen each other through our ups & downs especially with Isla's family history, but I can categorically say that I have never seen her like this before... I'm worried that I am losing her, that I am going to wake up one morning & my nugget isn't gonna be there anymore". After hearing the man open up, everyone walked over to the man and sat around him whilst Frank asked him "have you told her this? All of this? Isles wouldn't want you feeling like this" "no, I can't, we all know her.. if I told her how I was feeling, she'd blame herself more so than she is now.. no matter what I am feeling or thinking, I have to be strong for her, my emotions can come later." However, before any of the five men could reply, the door opened and Trey walked in and exclaimed whilst looking at Joe " Joe, Isla said she is looking for you...asked me to tell you to meet her at the spot" , getting his shirt and putting it on quickly, the man hastily exited, leaving the men left behind to contemplate what was about to happen.
While Isla waited for her husband at what they had always called their 'special spot' ever since they had joined the company (which was basically the truck area of the arena where the larger trucks carrying equipment like the ring etc stayed), Isla smiled as she tried to hide her sadness in her eyes and written on her face as she watched her best friend & brother walk towards her, with both surprise and shock on his face at who it was he was seeing "Jim-Jim "Isla expressed with a smile as she hugged the man tightly,"Tigger... not that it isn't nice to see you, but what are you doing here? you aren't due back yet. You both still have compassionate leave"the man known as Jimmy Jacobs expressed. Knowing that there was something more going on with the woman than she was admitting , he watched her as she sat down & replied whilst not making eye contact "I needed to be back... we both did. Besides, I couldn't just sit at home anymore...it hurts too much especially being around everything we had for Esme still & my family aren't exactly helping matters". As the man sat down next to the woman, Chris asked her as he took her hands in his to stop Isla from picking at her skin "firstly, stop with the picking... we don't need to see you in any more pain, Secondly and most importantly, Isla please tell me that you are telling Joe everything about how you are feeling?.... Isla Dione Zara Hendry!! You told me when we spoke that you would talk to him". After wiping the tears from her hazel brown eyes, the woman exclaimed sadly with emotion in her voice that she was trying desperately to hide, "I can't tell him Chrisy! ...he is already dealing with me enough....I can't & won't cause him any more pain that'll make him any more depressed & sadthan he already is and that he is trying to hide from me ... it's my fault he is like that... I broke him" "Isla, it wasn't your fault...you know that, I know you do ... Esme's death was a sad tragedy that nobody had any control over... not even the doctors. " the man exclaimed. Knowing that he was speaking the truth in her mind, but not in her heart, Isla sobbed as she replied " but I should've done... I should've known. I was her mum " before getting up and walking away from the shocked man. As the woman walk away, from the man, she knew in her head, however much it was going to break her heart what she needed to do for not only herself, but for the man that she & her body had broken, after everything she had put him through, she needed him to be happy...she knew that if he was happy and could find somebody whose body would work better than hers , any pain that she had, she could handle, but the idea of Joe being in any more pain & hiding it because of her had become too much to bear. After finally making it to their spot after running into a few of their friends & colleagues who had asked him how the couple were doing , Joe suddenly came to an abrupt & confused stop when instead of his beautiful princess of a wife who he was expecting to see, he saw the figure of Jimmy Jacobs, rubbing his face with a look of contemplation and concern etched on it, making the distance between them smaller quickly , Joe opened his mouth to joke but stopped as the man looked at him with sadness, and asked, knowing that something had happened with Isla "what's happened? " . After listening to his wife's best friend & adopted brother tell him not only everything that she had told him, but also about his concerns over her , Joe knew in his heart that he needed to not only try and get his wife to talk to him opening,y and honestly, but more importantly, he needed her to realise that with him, she didn't need to hide any emotion she was feeling and he knew he needed to before it was too late. However easy it seemed in theory however, in practise, he knew that it was going to be more difficult, he knew that because of the hell they were living in, the likelihood of getting his wife to talk to him was thin to impossible...but he wasn't going to let that stop him . After texting everyone that he could think of and if they knew whereabouts the woman he loved more than anything in his life could be. After what felt like an eternity of texting people, Joe sighed a sigh of relief that he didn't even realise he had been holding as he read a text from Deonna telling him that she was with her and additionally how much of a state the usually strong woman was in.
After making his way to the bathrooms near catering Deonna had told him they were near, Joe took a breath to calm himself and then knocked on the door, walking in after Stephen had opened the door with a sad smile obvious on his face. After walking in, Joe breathed a sigh of relief as he laid eyes on his beautiful wife thankfully safe, even if she looked incredibly tired. As he stepped closer however, his relief was quickly replaced with hurt and confusion as the woman took a step back from him, "Isla? please talk to me. I have been worried sick about you"he begged, confusion in his voice "Isla... you need to talk to him" Steve pushed " I can't, because if I look at you or if I talk to you , it's gonna make this decision so much more difficult to commit to". Looking at the woman, Deonna exclaimed concerned "Isla... ", knowing exactly where it was that the woman was going "please.. please just let me talk!", "Ok, Ok we're listening smidge okay. Just..., talk to us "Stephen smiled, trying to calm the woman down. Looking at her hands, the woman began to explain everything that was going on in her head, "ever since we lost Esme Joe, however much we have tried......we haven't been like we were before and I think that we both know that. Whenever you used to look at me, especially when we first got together, you would look at me with so much love in your eyes and now... now whenever you look at me, your eyes are filled with so much sadness & despair and it is killing me that I am the person that has caused it". Unable to make sense of anything his wife was saying and yet on the other hand, he was feeling shocked at the fact that she had finally opened up to him, stepping forward, Joe declared "Isla, please don't do this to yourself... I swear to you on my life, on Zig and Zebby's life that any sadness I am feeling is for our pain and for our loss... It is NOTHING thar you have done. When you told me that we were going to have a baby, I was scared, of course I was scared, but the idea of having her with you made me love you so much more than I thought possible. Especially after I have watched you go through so much, ok she isn't with us now , but we had an angel instead that day appear in our lives, an angel that is loved by so many ". As Isla watched the man she loved with every fibre of her being near to his breaking point, all she wanted to do was hold him, but in her head she knew that she couldn't.... She couldn't knowing that no matter how much he lied to protect her, she was the cause of his pain and however much it was going to hurt her, she needed him to be happy " "I love you with all of my heart & soul, but Joe,but I can't sit by and see the magic disappear from your eyes because of me... It kills me every time I look at you that my stupid body doesn't work the way it's suppose to.." "we can try again... If you want to but please Isles, please don't do this to yourself" Joe pleaded.
Watching the woman he was in love with step forward, he did the same as now Steve & Deonna watched on with:sadness, the only two who really knew everything that happened that day, "ever since we met at that ICW show, you have made me happy... happier than I ever thought I ever deserved to be... right now though, all I want is for you to be happy, even if that means not with me" , seeing were this was going, Joe began to cry as he exclaimed "All I want is you!", not carrying about showing his emotion , putting a hand on Joe's cheek and smiling through her tears as he leant into her touch, the woman exclaimed "you deserve so much more than me superstar.. so much more. We both know how ever hard you try, you can't keep pretending it didn't happen because you want to protect me or be my rock because guess what? It did. You're gonna be an amazing dad one day bubby, with someone whose body works perfectly & you will have your own version of the Von Trapp family. It just isn't gonna be with me. '.' Unable to control her emotion anymore & knowing that her standing around was going to make her want to breakdown fully into Joe's arms, the one place that since she had first met him, she had always felt safe in, the woman kissed her husband and as she did, he felt her put something in his free hand & as he looked down to see her rings sitting in his hand..., she had gone, with Deonna chasing after her. Unable to keep a lid on his emotions anymore after losing the one thing in his life bar wrestling and performing that made him truly happy, a river of tears suddenly began to flow from Joe's face, stepping forward to comfort the man, Steve exclaimed "D will get through to her man, just give her some time. You have both been through so much and you have got through it together... she'll see she needs you""Isla is right, I know she is. ... about everything. When we began to lose Esme, it broke Isla... it was like all of her fire had just gone and there was nothing I could do bar from one thing.....I could be strong for her. When everything was going on, I needed to be the rock that she needed. Ever since I nearly lost her as well as losing Esme, I've been different, especially around her... I've been scared shitless of saying the wrong thing to he rbut knowing what she went through all throughout the labour, stuff I have never even told her about like her dying twice..." "what!? Why did you not say anything? We could've helped somehow" Steve declared "I know, I don't know why I didn't... I just....all I have ever wanted to do was keep her safe from the first time I laid eyes on her, that it was ok to grieve... that I wasn't going to leave her ". Knowing the issues that Isla had had in the past and having an understanding of where Joe was coming from, Steve asked the man "have you cried?" , taking a breath, Joe admitted to the man "everytime she has slept or has gone to her dad's, I have broken down..then as soon as she has come home. I have always put on a front" Joe admitted "you need to tell her all of this!. As a couple, you have probably gone through one of the most toughest things you will ever go through together. you both need to tell each other how much you are hurting!" "Will you help me man? I think I have an idea" "course brother...anything I can do I will" Steve smiled, putting a hand on Joe's shoulder.
After the show and taping were completed and after eventually (with the help of her husband), getting Isla to come back to their suite and stay with them until she had either managed to find a flight home or had figured out a plan C (her plan B being a failure after the higher ups told her to have more time off), Deonna was watching with sadness her best friend simply staring out of the window, her normal fiery self replaced with what the husband and wife could only describe as a little child hoping for her Prince Charming to save the day "you need to try and eat something Isles, the weight is dropping off you" Steve expressed "I'm not hungry" Isla simply declared with a numbness in her voice and demeanour. As the woman watched over her best friend, what the pair didn't know was the plan with Joe and Steve had planned out together to prove his love and devotion to Isla once more. As the woman stared at her now naked finger, Deonna passed her a drink and sat beside her" if you aren't gonna eat...will you at least drink for me Isles, there's only so long I can hold off Steve", taking the drink from Deonna and swigging it back, Isla asked with a sniff, her lost girl persona coming through "please tell me that I am doing the right thing Dee, because this is killing me"I" oh Isles... you are doing what you think is best, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or says" "I miss her Dee...so much "the woman sobbed, finally breaking down, pulling her into a hug her best friend replied "I know Isle... I know". However, as the best friends hugged and cried, they both jumped as they heard a knock at the hotel suite's door "whose that?" Deonna asked her husband who had a smile on his face "room service perhaps" her husband shrugged his wife not buying what her husband was saying "none of us ordered room service though!" Deonna declared. Watching the door open from a distance, Isla's eyes once again began to fill with unshed tears at the image of her husband, In a mint coloured button shirt & black jeans (the same outfit he had worn on their first ever date and when they had eloped) with a bunch of white and pink roses in his hand. As Steve let the man in, he gave Joe a look of encouragment to tell his wife everything and watched with a smile as he stepped forward, getting to where his wife was sitting, he smiled but as he opened his mouth, Isla declared, interrupting him"what are you doing..." "Isla Dione Zara Hendry, I love you so much, you know that but for once in our marriage , I'm gonna need you to shut up & listen to me and let me get out what I need to say. When I watched you walk away from me earlier, it broke every single part of me, and I am so, so sorry that I didn't act the way I should've done after we lost our wee angel. There is something that I need you to know though Isla , no matter how I acted or how I came across.....the pain was there.. more than you will ever think or know. Watching you go through so much and nearly losing you, I vowed to myself that I was gonna stay strong & numb in front of you because I couldn't bare to see you in any more pain. Ever since we met, it has always been my job to keep you safe and protect you from any kind of sadness, that was what I'd always promised you & I have let you down but I want you to know this.. You have NEVER and will never be the reason that I was stupid enough to not let my emotions show.. NOT EVER!. In my head, I wanted to give you the chance to have a safe space to grieve.. a space where you knew that there was going to be no judgement".
After listening in shock to her husband sounding like her husband again and opening up about everything he had been feeling, Isla stood up and put a manicured hand on his cheek and exclaimed "I love that you wanted to protect me...but we both went through hell that day and every day since ". As the man looked at her, he replied, seeing something in her eye he hadn't seen for a long time "but you baby, you went through so much more ... and nearly losing you twice made me realise that I didn't matter. Everything that I had was nothing and will always be nothing unless I have you by my side Local girl" . Unable to listen to her husband put himself down or cry in front of her, something she had been not used to when it came to her husband, Isla leant forward & replied as she run her thumb through his hairy cheek " yes, yes you do matter Joe. You matter to me!. Since we met, you have never once judged me and regardless of what was happening with me at home, You were this rainbow I needed and have always needed, you saved me & loved me for me from the first day we met, you will always, always be more important to me than myself " "I love you so much Isla, my life & my soul are yours & yours alone. I can't be with anyone else.....please don't give up on us nugget" . Knowing that she was about to break, Joe knelt close to Isla, who was now kneeling on the floor and put a hand on her cheek, an action that sent her over the edge & she broke down sobbing , pulling her into his chest, the one safe place Isla had had he played with her hair as she sobbed "Im sorry! Im so so sorry" Isla sobbed, breaking everyone in the rooms hearts "hey! it wasn't your fault babygirl.. none of it was" Joe declared with tears running down his face "I miss her so much! and I hate my body. It just feels like my body is always working against me... I want her here Joe......she should be here", ,grabbing the bottle of water Deonna had grabbed for Isla, Joe replied with tears running down his cheeks and in his voice "I miss her too, but she is in here, and in our hearts.. we grieve, we grieve together Isla.. we can't lose each other! please baby, don't push me away". Looking into the eyes of the man she loved, Isla saw his eyes full of tears & she knew she couldn't stand to see him in pain, wrapping her arms around his neck, Joe cried as he picked her up with ease & let her wrap herself around him, still not letting him go, Isla sobbed "I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry baby... I..." no apoligies are needed nugget" Joe smiled.
After a little bit of convincing the woman that she was okay to go back with Joe to their hotel room, the man quickly arrived at the door with the woman beside him, nestled in close to his side, as he quickly opened the door & walked in after his wife, he felt like everything was in alignment once more however his grip on her was not letting up, a fear within him raging that if he let go that she'd float away . Watching the man walk over to his bag after she had finally convinced him that she wasn't going to go anywhere, Isla watched on with a look of confused as Joe grabbed a book out of his bag & walked back over to their bed, sitting cross legged opposite her, "what's that?" Isla asked confused pointing at the book "well, you know how when I get inspiration, I write. Well, when we lost Esme, I found myself getting into writing when you went over to your dad's or when you were asleep all about how I was feeling, so that when you needed me,I had a way of being there 100% for you... but I can see now that how I have handled my emotion is unhealthy" "join the club "Isla smiled sadly but with a glint in her eye the man had missed. As she took the book from her husband hands after he had passed it to her and began reading it, she came across the page he had written on the day that they lost Esme and as she read more and more, she realised how much he had been suffering and how much she hadn't seen thanks to her selfishness and grief. Unable to read anymore after seeing a picture of her & him, with her bump just starting to show , Isla put down the notebook Joe had given her to read & exclaimed as she held his hand in his and exclaimed "Joe....I wish you would've told me how you were feeling especially when you have had to deal with so much from me.....I feel like a selfish cow" "I had to be tough for you munchkin.. my pain was nothing like what you were going through. Knowing you for as long as I have done, I knew there was gonna come a time where you would break" Joe sadly sniffed as he kissed hi1s wife's knuckles . Watching her husband's face relax, something she hasn't seen in what felt like an eternity, Isla said " I think, between the two of us, we haven't handled this well... I think it's safe to say that we both know that. After reading this though, I need you to know something and I need you to listen, regardless of how I've acted or what I have said to you , you make me feel so safe everyday squishy. Ever since we met, you've shown me what love......actual true love can feel like... I can't lose you Joe, please... please don't leave me". Watching the love of his life burst out crying, Joe quickly gathered the woman in his arms & pulled her into him laying her on heir bed beside him and they simply held each other as they both cried. After calming down enough to talk, Joe replied emotionally "listen & listen to me good Isla Dione Zara Hendry, I am never, ever going to leave you, no matter how hard you want to try & push me away. You're my Munchkin" "you swear?" "I swear to you munchkin, I am not going anywhere & we are going to get through our pain together."
As the husband & wife laid together after getting prepared for bed , Joe look at the ring finger of his wife and pulled out the rings from his jean pocket laying next to the bed & put them back on her finger, kissing them as he put each on" never ever take these of again Isla" "I swear" Isla smiled, watching the man slide them on her engagement ring and kissing her finger "you need some sleep" Isla smiled "I'll sleep when you doze off princess, not before" Joe declared. After trying & failing to fight her husband, she sighed as the man did what he had always done to get her to sleep, resting her head on his chest & listening to his heartbeat, Isla asked Joe as he played with her hair "will you sing me a song. Your voice can always make me doze off" , kissing her forehead. Joe picked their wedding song & within a minute, the woman was In a deep sleep, her grip still tight to his arm.