Hi, I'm back!!!
Recap:
„I'm sorry what?!!!" I hiss, abruptly standing up from the chair in the middle of the room. Silence cuts through the room like a knife, all of their eyes on me. My body starts to heat up, my heart freezes and my mind, my mind is all over the place, trying to comprehend that this is in fact reality.
„We have come to this decision together and although we will miss you, we believe it's best for your health if you take a break." The man says, his face emotionless as I watch sweat drip down his forehead.
My hand starts twitching, but before I react I close my eyes and take a deep breath.
„Okay." I whisper, trying to hold back the tears.
I sit back down, emotions shooting through my body as I sit frozen in place. My manager starts talking to the members of the club.
I let out a cough, everyone's eyes still on me.
„If you'll excuse me."
And before anyone can insist, I walk out of the door and straight to the bathroom. As I exit I feel Sarina's eyes on me to my right, sending me a empathetic look as she glares at the man infront of my seat. My body starts struggling as I feel myself starting to choke. Quickly I rush to the toilet and bend over, my stomache emptying itself as tears stream down my face.
When I'm done, I sit on the floor of the bathroom in the building I would have, until moments ago, called my second home. Time passes, and for the first time in forever I don't care how much of it passes and I definitely don't care if I'm wasting it. The light turns off after a few minutes and I sit in the dark, wondering where the hell I went wrong.
Present:
I think this is the lowest I've ever been in my life, and somehow I didn't feel like I was gonna get out of it soon.
Ella lies next to me in my bed, both of us staring up at the ceiling.
„How's filming?" I ask, mind spaced out.
„Good good"
One question keeps popping up in my head, scratching my head.
„She's weird?"I look over at Ella surprised, but she keeps looking up.
„I don't know, maybe it's because of the last words I said to her. But that was just a in the moment thing you know. Anyways, she's just a bit distant but then sometimes I catch her looking at me weirdly. Also, Niall has stopped coming to the set - like 2 weeks after the incident."
My eyebrows furrow, why?
We both fall asleep in that position, eventually cuddling.
Time skip
„Y/n?"
I let out a soft yes, voice muffled because of the pillow pressed against my face.
„I'm leaving now, just uhm if you wanna join me on set" Ella tried.
My eyes closed at her unsure tone. I felt bad, this whole time I've been feeling bad for myself, and she stayed to support me in any way she could.
„I don't know Ella...sorry" I answered.
„I'm not trying to convince you or anything, but uhm she won't be there."
I left my room 10 minutes later, trying to look as appropriate as possible. My clothes were baggy, hiding everything I possibly could.
My mind was racing as I got into the car with Ella.
This was the first time in a long time I've left the house. I had lost everything that mattered to me in about two weeks, and now with nothing left, I had no will. I still tried to stay as fit as possible, but not even eating merely enough didn't help. My mental state led me to lose about 33 pounds which was clearly visible and that stopped me from leaving the house.
„Y/n?" I snapped back into reality, looking over at Ella who looked at me concerned.
„Yeah? sorry" I rasped.
„I just said that there won't be any paparazzi since it's a closed set, I made sure of that." I smiled softly at Ella and thanked her.
„So you can just chill, watch us record and maybe eat?" I nodded „I just wanted you to get out of the house."
„Thank you Ella, for everything these past-„
„-2 months" she finished.
My eyes bulged, I had spent 2 months of my life just laying around in my room.
Ella turned into the street of the set when suddenly a man ran into the middle of the street.
She gasped and stepped onto the breaks, about 10 more men stepped in front of the car and whipped out their cameras. Lights started flashing as security guards jogged towards the car.
As soon as they gave us a sign, we stepped out of the car and they led us to the gate. I kept my sunglasses on, shielding my face from the camera but that didn't help much. They had found me, which meant a lot of front page articles.
I sighed as we finally were able to enter, shoulders slumped.
„I'm so sorry y/n, they must've gotten a tip from someone-„
„Ella don't worry, it had to happen once." I said shrugging, giving her a reassuring smile.
We walked over to the set, greeting everyone present and every single person looked at me with the same, empathic look.
I let out a huff, sinking down onto the seat next to Adrian as we let Ella get ready to film.
Adrian and I start talking about random stuff, when about half an hour later Ella comes out of the dressing room and they start to film. Everytime I've watched her on set, I've admired her talent. I feel myself hipnotised, not being able to do anything except get sucked into the scene they're filming.
„Are you okay-„ Adrian keeps talking but my mind had been on Ella which is why I didn't hear him.
„Sorry, what?" I whisper, turning towards him.
„Just, Ella told me- are you gonna be okay when Hailee comes?" My forehead creases as I look at him surprised.
„I thought she wasn't coming in today?" I ask perplexed.
„Oh you didn't- shit, well the schedule got changed yesterday evening, so Ella didn't see it."
My heart started to beat faster, I was sure as hell not ready to see her. Not because I held something against her, but I didn't want her to see me like this and then ask question. Plus she was always someone to be straight up with me, which meant talking about what happened.
„I uh, I'm gonna use the bathroom." I mumble, more to myself than anyone else.
I walk, the quick steps reminding me of the day I got told my career would be kept in hold.
I open the first door I see, not reading the sign next to it and quickly close it behind me as I lean against it.
My breathe hitches as I slowly open my eyes.
„Y/n?"
I close my eyes hard again.
„You've got to be kidding me" I murmur, nails digging into my skin.
„What's going on? I uh how are you?" She stumbles over her words, slowly standing up.
Only now I notice the make up artist who awkwardly goes on her phone. Hailee's hair is up, her make up is about halfway done and she has robe around her body.
Even in this state she is flawless.
„Y/n?" I look back up at her, noticing a concerned look on her face.
„Yes?"
„What are you doing here?"
„Ella. Sorry I thought this was the bathroom." I mumble turning around.
„You're just gonna leave everytime we come in contact?" I raise an eyebrow, hand staying on the door handle.
„I don't know what else to do." I say honestly, still not wanting to turn around.
Looking at her makes me melt and act out my feelings. We don't want that right now.
I don't notice her coming closer until I hear a gasp right behind me. My head shoots around and I see her eyes on my scrawny body. Disappointment is what I feel, I don't want people seeing me like this.
„What happened?" She asks, taking away her hand from her mouth.
„They won't let me play football, I'm nothing without football." I shrug.
„How- what-„
„Someone must've given them a tip, then I had to take drug test." I explain, eyes still on the ground.
When she stays quiet I look up, noticing a guilty look in her doe brown eyes.
„You?" I ask in disbelief.
„He uhm wanted to help you and I didn't know any other way." I let out a scoff.
„You're still protecting him I see." I let out a dry chuckle.
„You don't get to judge me for wanting to help you. This has nothing to do with Niall."
„Just stop please." I ask pleadingly, knuckles white.
She does stop talking, a disappointed feeling settling in my stomache. Did I expect her to do more?
My mind races as I walk out, automatically wanting a cigarette. I smoke it calmly, feeling the smoke in my throat, then pushing it out. I lean against the wall, for the first time in months thinking straight. I had been wasting time these past few months, letting life move by passively.
In a second, I made up my mind. I never was someone to give up easily.
I walk fast down the hall, to the left and to the right. The make up artist walks past me, looking at me weirdly. I stand in front of Hailee's room, suddenly feeling dizzy. I ignore it and take a step forward, hand reaching for the door handle but missing it. When I look down my vision becomes blurry and then - nothing.
I blink a few times, my forehead is pounding and it feels like a bump is forming. I can't really feel my legs and my arms feel like jelly. I open my eyes slowly, harsh lights causing a stinging. I'm in a- hospital?
I look around, no one present in the room. My eyes close again.
The next time I wake up the nurse is standing next to me, she quickly rushes out, explaining that she's getting the doctor.
He enters, a man in his 40s with black greyish hair. He introduces himself as Dr. Reuss.
„Your friend told me you hadn't been out the house for months? Also not eating?" I nod sheepishly.
„Well it's nothing serious, you passed out because your body probably was overwhelmed." He explains, then he pauses, letting out a sigh.
„Miss Y/L/n, I'm not sure what happened. But it's important that you take care of yourself, not doing it could leed to something more serious than this. You were lucky." I nod seriously now, he gave me the last kick to realise that I need to get my shit together.
„Anyways, I'll let you see your friends now. The four of them have been waiting patently the whole time." Dr. Reuss says, smiling softly.
I thank him and say goodbye, my shoulders relaxing when he exits. I close my eyes.
„Are you okay?" Hailee asks, rushing towards the bed.
„Yes yes don't worry." I quickly say, blushing when she holdy my face in her hands.
„You scared the hell out of me." She says, her voice a mixture between anger and fear.
„I'm sorry-„
„What even happened Y/n?"
„I guess I uh haven't been eating enough?"
„Why?"
„Don't know, guess I forgot." I say halfheartedly.
Hailee raises an eyebrow, I quickly look away.
Suddenly I remember what I wanted to talk to her about before I fainted.
„-not eating?"
I ignore her questions.
„Why has Niall not been around?" I ask.
I watch her face soften.
„I uh, we broke up. Well we weren't together officialy, but I broke it off."
What
„What? When?"
„The night at the club." My heart starts racing.
One question, that maybe could change everything.
My mouth was dry, somehow in the most important moment I wasn't able to ask one simple question.
„I'll uh- go get Ella, she's been worried." She mumbles, turning around before I get a chance to stop her.
Not this time
I quickly stand up, nearly falling over as my body gives out. I hear the door close as I rush over, I quickly open it.
incoming movie scene, fasten your seatbelt!
I look right and then left, seeing the back of her head turn around a corner.
„Hailee" I rush out, jogging towards her.
She stops and turn around.
„Y/n? You should be laying in bed-„ Hailee keeps talking, I freeze as I have an inner debatte.
Without thinking, I take a deep breathe
My hands cup her face softly, I brush her hair strain behind her ear. Her eyes have a vulnerable look. I take her jaw, softly getting her to lean up.
One last look, her brown eyes.
I lean down, capturing her soft lips in mine. My stomache turns, in a good way. I notice her small frown relaxing and close my eyes. Nerves tickle as she holds onto my upper arm, I start to move my lips. She moves against mine. I forget where I am, who I am and what I am. I stroke her cheek, feeling her smile against me. Hailee kisses me back, now holding onto my hospital robe desperately. I deepen the kiss, holding the back of her neck. My world starts spinning. In my head fireworks go off.
When I feel air running out I stop kissing her, our lips part. Mine are open reaching for air, our foreheads connected. It feels like the first time I looked into her eyes, even better. A grin breaks out on my face, her smile huge. I hold onto her waist, her hands on my shoulders feel electric. She does the rubbing thing she always does, everywhere she touches feels like an electric shock.
„Took you guys long enough." A voice behind us says.
We both look over, Adrian stand there, chewing as he holds a bag of crisps and the girls behind him.
Hailee bursts out laughing and I look at her adoringly.
We stand there for a minute, then everyone notices that I should be in bed so they start yelling at me. Even when I ask for a cigarette, Ella kills me with her look.
A few days later
„Ella!"
„Ellaaaaaa"
„Ellaaaaaaa where are youuuu?"
I huff face all read as I furiosly press the kill button. The kid in my headphone let out a frustrated groan and I smirk.
„Yo Ella can you get me something?" I take off my headphones, waiting for an answer but there's only silence.
„How does she survive living with you?" Hailee asks, coming from the entrance.
„Oh hey, sorry." I say quickly, throwing aside my controller.
„Hey" she says, smiling at me.
I try to stand up but she just motions me to stay.
Instead she climbs in my lap and kisses me. My mind is frozen as I feel her ass against my lap.
„I uh hey?" I ask, voice shaky.
„Hi" She smiles innocently,scratching my neck with her nails.
„Not that I mind, at all, especially uhm like this. But what are you doing here?" I softly rub her sides, looking up at her happily.
„To take care of you." Hailee says, winking at me as I blush.
A/N:
Hey guys, I'm back!! :)
Should I continue?
Or tell me what else you wanttt