As much as Zayn had hoped things would get better after the mirror incident, they didn't.
After Stefani had cleaned her up, it was impossible to keep her calm. Despite it only taking a few minutes, she would not stop asking about his whereabouts. Stefani couldn't help but notice how manic she was. It was impossible for her to sit still, asking questions that only left Stefani more concerned.
"Do you think Zayn will want to have a baby with me?" She asked, as Stefani finished bandaging up her hand.
If the situation had been different, she would've been over the moon to know grandchildren were a possibility. The older woman understood that her mind state was fragile and perhaps her reasons for asking her that question were not the right ones.
"I'm sure he would love to, when the time comes."
The answer was good enough for Anastasia. She smiled at her mother in law, "Thank you."
Zayn tried to keep himself busy in the study, unable to stop thinking about Anastasia. He began to feel uncomfortable when she wasn't in his direct sight. He couldn't stop wondering about what things had been like for her during his absence. Obviously not very good, considering she kept herself isolated and in her room most of the time. He was extremely grateful for Cara and Stefani, he couldn't imagine what it would've been like if Anastasia had been left alone.
With all that had occurred, he couldn't even bring himself to think about Elena. This was the cruel wake up call he so desperately needed.
Anastasia walked into the study, immediately catching his attention.
"Can we go out?" She asked, surprising him by sitting on his lap.
She wrapped her arms around him, nuzzling closer.
"Sure,"
Zayn placed his hand on her upper thigh, letting his fingertips trace over her skin every so often. "I'll take you out to dinner and then we can go for a walk if you'd like."
"I'd like that very much," she genuinely smiled at him for what seems like the very first time.
There was something very different about her. He realizes- she is not hiding herself from him. She isn't putting on a front or being defensive out of fear.
"You really scared me today," he confessed, the grip on her thigh unintentionally rough.
She looked down at her hands, as if very disappointed with her actions as well. "I'm sorry. I hope you won't be mad at me."
"How could I be mad at you..." he asked incredulously, feeling guilty that he made her feel that way in the first place. "It is all my fault. What if... what if we brought Melinda to live here with us? Would you like that?"
As much as he didn't want to, maybe it would be good for her. He just wanted to fix what he had broken and hope her attitude towards him didn't change once things settled down. Perhaps her having a familiar face, someone she's known her entire life, would help her regain a sense of normalcy. It would certainly make it easier to deal with her in case he needed to fulfill a work obligation.
"Would you really do that?" She questioned softly, "it would mean a lot to me."
"Of course, I just want you to be okay. No more crying."
Anastasia held him closer, "just don't leave me again."
Zayn sighed, "there will be times when I won't be able to be here with you all the time. I need to know that I can trust you."
The mention of him not being around made her heart drop. She could feel her anxiety begin to rear it's ugly head. He noticed and felt guilty for even bringing it up, but he had to be upfront with her.
Anastasia kissed his jaw. He allowed himself to enjoy the moment. He knew how much she had missed him. His family had kept him updated on everything that had to do with her. Even if he didn't want to admit it, he liked the control he had over her. It didn't matter how many other people were at his beck and call, it was different. Conditional. She just wanted to be around him, no matter what the situation was. It was okay that he was broken, because she accepted him that way. No one ever had.
"I won't let you down," she answered, a very satisfying answer for Zayn to hear from her.
Something had begun to change.
"Why don't you go and get ready, yeah?"
Anastasia nodded, "what do you want me to wear?"
—
The entire evening was perfect.
Zayn could not stop looking at her. He was fixated on her in a way he had never been before. Strong feelings of desire and the frustration that followed were hard to fight. She belonged to him and no one else could ever have her.
They had gone to a nice restaurant that was owned by a family friend of many years. Though Zayn had been there plenty of times, it was special to be there with his wife. He was more than happy to show her off and her demure behavior only made him want her more.
They lay next to each other in their bedroom, the mess from earlier on in the day gone. He held her against his chest, the rise and fall of him breathing so comforting to her.
"You're so beautiful," he complimented, caressing her face, "You are perfect."
"Do you really mean that?" She asked softly.
"I do."
"Why did you leave me?"
Zayn knew the conversation would come up eventually. It wasn't that he wasn't ready to face the explanation he had to give, he just didn't know what would ensue after.
"I can't tell you everything, for your own good," he started, "when you left with Harry, I flew into a rage. I couldn't think straight. I couldn't find you, so I did everything in my power to. I ended up meeting with an old associate of your dads, but things went bad. I thought I was being set up and well..."
He grimaced, wishing he could smoke a cigarette to alleviate some of the anxiety. "I just messed with the wrong person... and I had to fix it."
Of course he couldn't bring himself to tell her that he had been searching for Elena. A nagging feeling tugged at his heart strings, like he knew he had to tell her, but wouldn't.
"You didn't leave me for another woman?" She asks, a tinge of surprise in her tone.
Zayn realizes this is an opportunity to be truthful. What would her reaction be, he wondered. Would it send her spiraling?
"I looked for an ex girlfriend, once everything died down. I'm sorry."
Anastasia felt heartbroken. He had looked for a woman from his past instead of desperately trying to reunite with her. It wasn't like he didn't know what she was going through, his family kept him updated even if he didn't directly speak to Anastasia. He knew what the situation would be, he didn't need anyone to tell him that she was depressed without him. He already knew and that was what made the situation entirely worse.
"Why?" She asked him.
He could tell she was crying.
Despite this, she made no effort to put any space between them. Quite the opposite- she was in a similar mood as earlier again.
"I just wanted answers, I was confused."
"Please don't tell me that, why can't you just be honest?"
Zayn sighed, "it's the truth, angel," his voice softened, "I was confused."
Much to his surprise - she straddled him, resting her head directly on his chest. "Are you still confused?"
She lifted her head to be eye level with him, rocking gently on him. Zayn was immediately overtaken by the familiar desire earlier. It had been too long since he had taken her, all consumed by her essence and body. There was too much going on inside his head. This was the opposite reaction he has expected to receive. For a while, he thought she wasn't interested in him sexually at all considering how badly he had hurt her before.
"No, baby..."
Anastasia began to kiss his neck, persuading him further and further away from the thoughts of that other woman.
"I want you to get rid of her," she says suddenly, breaking him out of the trance.
"What?"
"I want you to get rid of her."