"Can we talk about her? The girl—Lorraine Perabo?" I watch as Schumacher scribbles in his little notebook naturally like this is a regular session. Like I didn't come knocking at his home door at 1 am in the morning demanding to talk. Well not so much as demanding—firmly asking is more appropriate. If Schumacher was pissed that I disrupted his beauty sleep, he did—is still doing— a fine job of hiding it. He did tell me if I had woken his 6 month old son (which I had no idea he had), he would have had me arrested. "That's a German surname, is she German?"
"Half. Her mum's Colombian."
"Hnm. She must be beautiful."
"You can't begin to imagine just how f*cking beautiful she is Doc." Our eyes meet for a moment and for a brief second, Schumacher's eyes shines with an emotion that I've seen countless of times. That proud look he has when he realises that I'm being honest. I look away from him, palming my face as I try to get myself to focus. Focus on why I'm having an impromptu meeting with Schumacher at this time of the night. "Coach Nellie absolutely cannot know I'm here." I tell him, leaning back in my chair and running my hand through my hair. "We are under a strict 8 hours of sleep rule until finals." I add, omitting the 'and I know the two of you talk and you have no regards to the whole patient confidently thing when it comes to me' that's at the tip of my tongue.
Schumacher nods, "So, this Lorraine girl, you told her about Robin?"
I swallow, feeling my throat dry up. "Yeah." Schumacher watches me as I consider what to say next. But everything in my head is so jumbled up, I'm having trouble expressing myself. "I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said no."
I grimace as I watch him scribble on the journal perched on his crossed legs. Not out of embarrassment —I could never regret asking Lorraine to be my girlfriend. There has always been something unsettling about Schumacher picking and choosing the things that get to go in his journal.
"She did?"
I nod. "She thinks that I asked her because I let her in, like, told her stuff about me. I don't know, I don't know how to explain it."
"Why did you ask her to be your girlfriend? You said you wasn't ready because of Alexis and Bradley. Something must have changed for you."
"I guess so."
"What do you think that is?"
I blow out a breath, readjusting in my seat. "I trust her." I say truthfully. "I don't think I've trusted anyone in a while and it feels good. I trusted her with Mila—I don't trust anyone with my niece." Schumacher is watching me with a pursed lip and a thoughtful look that makes me want to put an end to this conversation. Session. Whatever this is. But I don't, I push through. "I gave her a hard time when we met because of it. I didn't understand it."
"You didn't understand that you trusted her or you were scared that you trusted her?"
"Both. And I was an ass to her because of it."
"Alexis, Bradley, Robin, your parents all let you down so naturally trusting would be scary for you." Schumacher pauses, allowing me time to understand his words. He doesn't continue until I nod reluctantly, trying to ignore the flashes of memories reoccurring in my mind. "But living with the fear is what hinders your chances of healing from these past let downs Charlie. If you do want to be her, which by the way, my professional and personal judgment approves of, I suggest you be honest with Lorraine about exactly what it is you feel for her."
"What I feel?" I ask dumbly. I know exactly what I feel. I've always known.
"Talking might not be your strongest suit but you need to find a way of communicating your feelings with her so she understands you."
"Fine." Give it to Schumacher to find a simple answer for a very complicated problem.
"I'd like to talk about your mum next." Schumacher watches me closely. "You mentioned earlier that she's not yet back from her trip. How's that impacting your life so far?"
Of course Schumacher has managed to remember every single shit I blurted out when I walked through his front door 30 minutes ago.
"I worry if she's okay. I haven't heard from her in weeks."
"And she didn't respond to your messages about Mila being sick or you getting drafted?"
"Yes."
"How does that make you feel?"
"Fucking furious." I tell him. "I don't understand why she would run off and leave Mila like that. I don't understand why she just wouldn't come home. It's almost thanksgiving and Mila—" I sigh tiredly "It's always one thing or the next, I'm tired of giving her excuses. She hasn't had a normal thanksgiving."
"Because you've refused to reconcile with your father. You know he'll be more than happy to host Mila for thanksgiving." I roll my eyes. "Maybe your mother leaving isn't for you to understand. You have got to make peace with that Charlie. It's no use being worried about something that you can't control. Instead, focus on the things that you can."
"Like?" I ask even though I already know.
"You wouldn't be here at this time of the night if you didn't already figure them out. You're only having a hard time accepting it." He smiles ruefully, "Let's recap on some of the things we have spoken about today so that I can get back to my bed."
****
Contrary to our agreement of picking Mila up on Monday morning, I'm at Lorraine's complex bright and early on Sunday morning carrying two bags of food from Whit's, one of the fancy breakfast places we have on campus. I juggle the drink carrier in my hand and press the doorbell for the second time, hoping someone opens the door before I drop the damn thing.
The door is yanked open as I reach out to ring the doorbell a third time, revealing a very sleepy Shadé. Shadé rolls her eyes immediately but reaches out to help me with the drink carrier. "Is it just me or is this becoming a habit?"
I grin thankfully as I walk into the apartment. "I doubt we can call it a habit seeing as this has only ever happened twice."
"I know." She grumbles, inhaling deeply as she shuts the door quietly behind us. "But I have a feeling my future's going to be filled with you knocking at the door at odd hours and me opening the door because I'm the only light sleeper in this goddamn house."
"Would it make it better if I brought you a treat every time?" Their apartment is airily quiet (it's a Sunday morning after all) excluding the soft thud of Shadè's bare heels against the wooden floor as she goes to set the drinks down on the coffee table.
I take off my trainers and follow her lead, dropping the food bags on the table. Shadé squints slightly as she folds her hands under her chest. She hmms thoughtfully, as she considers my offer. "What type of treats?" She asks.
"Breakfast?" I suggest. "You never have to worry about breakfast on days that I come knocking."
"No Charlie, that simply wouldn't do." She says. "I want free tickets to every basketball game until I graduate. And before you say you're graduating soon, I know athlete alumni's get perks that we common folks don't."
"What if Lorraine wants to watch the games?"
"Well, you'll be big bad NBA player by then, I'm sure you'd have no troubles purchasing tickets for you and your girlfriend. I, on the other hand, will be a college student struggling to get by with no NBA star boyfriend. Do you see that I need the tickets more than anyone else on planet earth?"
I chuckle making sure to not correct her about calling Lorraine my girlfriend. I don't miss the small smile on her face when she realises I have no intentions of doing so. "I—"
"Either that or rot outside. Your choice."
Damn. She's good.
"Okay we have a deal." I tell her. I may have realised that if I'm going to ask Lorraine to be my girlfriend, it is my job to make sure her friends can tolerate—if not like—me. "When I—" she cuts me off by holding out her index finger before scurrying off. I roll my eyes when she reappears a second later with her phone in her hand.
"I have to get it on recording, it's just us here," she tells me like I didn't already figure it out. "If there's anything I've learnt from my up and coming lawyer Elle, it's that you always leave a paper trail." She thrusts the phone in my face and signals for me to go. And after promising my free tickets to her, she ushers me away from the living room so she can help sort out the breakfast. Not without reminding me that she would have done it for free.
Like I didn't know that.
Lorraine is sleeping peacefully on her bed when I enter her room. There is no sight of Mila or anyone else in the room. I drink in the sight of her as the early morning sun pours on the lower half of her face, her curtains saving her upper half from the light. She looks absolutely cute and I can't help the small smile that tugs at my lips.
What has changed?
Schumacher's question resonates in my head. The answer following straight up. I have changed. Lorraine is just as she has been the first time I laid eyes on her. Its no denying I've always been pulled to her—everything about her has always been enthralling. Deep in my subconscious I knew she'd be the one and I fought it. I know she likes me—even if I didn't know before, her words last night made it clear. And the mere thought of Lorraine liking some other guy or even getting intimate with anyone makes me want to smash my head into a wall. It has to be us, together, for as long as possible. However f*cking long that is, I don't give a shit.
"Charlie?" I focus on her face as she slowly stirs awake. She's watching me with that confused morning look. "What are you doing here?"
"I brought breakfast." I tell her. But I'm dying for some alone time with her, so I add. "But you can go back to bed, we can have ours later when you're up." She nods sleepily and I take off my clothes, leaving me in my briefs before climbing in next to her. My heart squeezes tightly in my chest when she instantly settles on my chest, wrapping around me. She's snoring softly a few seconds later. I drop a kiss on her forehead and shut my eyes.
This feels too f*cking good to not be forever.
****
We missed breakfast completely—and lunch. Lorraine was so tired and sleepy and wouldn't wake up. It's almost like she had no sleep last night like me. A moment after waking up and Lorraine was still sleeping, Mila came to say hi but was keen to get back to her watch party with Elle in Elle's room. They were watching Sing 2.
I didn't trust Mila with a lot of people, but a huge part of me is glad that she seems to love Lorraine and her friends. Unlike when I was with Alexis. Alexis doesn't like kids and kids definitely didn't like her back. That should have been a red flag in itself.
Ironic that Alexis' sister and Mila get along. I wonder how Mila's going to react when she finds out her new bestie is her nemesis' sister.
The thought makes me chuckle a little bit.
"What's funny?" Lorraine's sleepy voice asks, grabbing my attention. I look to her as she fully turns to me and cozies up into a comfortable position.
"Nothing, just thinking about how Mila's going to react when she finds out Alexis and Elle are siblings." I explain. "She's not the biggest Alexis's fan."
"Remember when you kissed Alexis in front of me—" I groan uncomfortably, trying to push the sordid memory to the back of my mind. The teasing smile on Lor's face tells me she's not dropping it. "—and then asked me why I didn't wait to watch your make out sesh?"
"Do you know what I remember? You sneaking out to a coffee date with Isaac after our first night together."
Lorraine laughs heartily at my evasion tactic. "You're an ass." She mumbles, "and it wasn't a date."
"That's subjective." I whisper, pulling her on top of me. She doesn't have time to protest before I kiss her. I f*cking adore how she immediately melts into me. The kiss is slow and gentle for a few seconds but we both got hungry and thing got heated. I flip her onto her back. Despite my hard on, I can't help but ask. "You're not tired are you?"
"No." She pants, pulling her top over her head. "Are you?"
"No." I smile, trying not to look at her breasts because I'll fold so bad and f*ck her. I need to make sure she's fine first. "But you've been sleeping, we missed breakfast—and lunch. You're not hungry?"
"I was out last night. Dixie needed my help and I couldn't say no. And I'm not hungry." Lorraine wraps her hands around my neck to pull me closer and whispers naughtily in my ear. "If you're so hungry, you can eat me." There's a wicked glint in her eyes that sends me over the edge.
F*ck. She's so sexy.
I kiss her hungrily, pinning her to the bed. But then, something ultimately clicks in my head. Someone. A name. One I try not to think about no matter how hard it gets sometimes.
"Wait—." I'm breathless when I push myself off Lorraine. A look of confusion painting my face as I wonder if I heard wrong. But i couldn't have misheard what she said. The name she called. "Dixie?"
Lorraine's eyes are confused for a brief second and then they focus on my face and a mixture of realisation panic and flash across her eyes. "Shit." She says, sitting up on her elbows.
"What were you doing with my sister last night Lorraine?"
Hey guys. I know that it has been so long. However, life outside of Wattpad has been so busy. And really and truly, sometimes I can't believe it. I remember when I started my writing journey about 10 years ago, I used to wonder how writers left books unfinished or how they fell out of writing on Wattpad. At the mere age of 13 I was clueless as to what "life" was. But now as an adult, with a big girl job as a nurse, life is so hectic.
This book was my big Wattpad break after years of writing and it saddens me that it happened so late into the time where I would have no time to write. 5 years ago, it would have been different. I wrote every single day. Now I barely even write in weeks or months.
I do want to apologise to the avid readers who message me privately for updates and who continue to reread and remind me that they love this book! It's the only reason why I continue to push myself to complete this book.
I really hope you all keep reading and enjoy this chapter.