Betrayal happens on many different levels all the time, and there is no worse feeling than realizing someone you thought you could trust has betrayed you.
3rd POV
Tara looked back and ford between Addison and Derek, trying to comprehend what had just happened. She took a step back, away from him. Then looked at him with a betrayed look and he knew that after everything that she had told him, betrayal and lies were one of the things that could destroy her.
"Tara" he tried. But she shook her head. In all the the time they had been together he had never seen her like that. She had tears in her eyes, but refused to let them fall.
"I guess you have a type." Was all she said before she run off.
*
Tara's POV
I was at the bar drinking shots. I wasn't sure if I was trying to drown myself, or completely forget the night's events. All I knew is that I was in pain, a pain I hadn't felt in a long time due to the fact that I hadn't allowed anyone to get close enough for them to hurt me. Yet I let Derek in, I let him get a closer look at Tara Parks. I allowed myself to love him. But did he truly love me? Or was that another lie?
Betrayal can leave a wound so deep, sometimes there is nothing you can do to heal it.
"You look familiar. You been here before?" Said Joe the bartender.
"Once. That worked out really well." I said sarcastically
"I know that look. It'll be one of two things. Either your boss is giving you hell or your boyfriend is. Which is it?"
I chucked humorlessly "My boyfriend is my boss, which wasn't a problem. Until I found out that my boyfriend has a wife."
"Tell you what, this one, it's on the house." He said pouring me another shot of vodka.
*
Derek's POV
I tried to go after Tara, but I knew it would probably make things worse. "Addison, what are you doing here?"
"Your hair's different."
"A lot of things are different."
"It's longer. I like it. It's very Russell Crowe."
"What are you doing here?"
"What are you doing here? You just pick up and leave everything? Your house, your practice, your friends? You had a life in Manhattan."
"Had."
"And now you have a girlfriend in Seattle. I have to say she's not what I expected.
"You're on thin ice. Thin."
"She's young, but she has red hair, green eyes, tall. I would have thought you'd go for the anti-Addison. But like she said you seem to have a type."
"If you came out here to try and win me back, forget about it."
"I did. I flew all the way across the country to reminisce over wedding photos, get drunk, fall into bed, and make you realize you can't live without me. Relax. Derek, I'm here for work. I'm helping the TTTS case you guys admitted last week and from Richard's briefing, I should be"
"Richard, he knew you were coming out here?"
"He asked me to come. Didn't he tell you?"
"No. He didn't."
"Hmm. Surprise. The hair, though. You know I've always had a thing for Russell Crowe."
*
3rd POV
Tara was drinking shots, when Cristina and George sat down next to her.
"Wow, you may wanna slow down there" said George as Tara kept drinking relentlessly.
"I'm British if there is something I know how to do, is drink."
"What's the matter with you?" She asked Cristina, who was uncharacteristically quiet.
"I'll tell you if you tell me"
"Alright, Derek is married." George spits his beer and walks away to get himself cleaned up. "Your turn"
"I'm pregnant" before Tara could say anything, Meredith came in and sat down.
"Let's play a game of whose life sucks the most. I'll win. I always win." She said.
"Well, luv you haven't played with us" Tara said, clearly drunk.
"Yeah you don't want to play with us." Said Cristina
"Oh, I do. I'll even go first. Tim cheated on me" Again, before they could respond Joe falls over.
"Ok. Maybe Joe wins."
*
They walk back to the hospital.
"Alright. Details. You're pregnant? What are you gonna do?" Tara asked Cristina when they were alone.
"Look, you know what happens to pregnant interns. I'm not switching to the vagina squad or spending my life popping zits. I'm too talented. Surgery's my life."
"Which begs the question: who are you sleeping with?"
"Just a guy."
"Come on. You can't just bring something like this up and expect me to not ask questions."
"Well, watch me." They walk up to a desk where George and Izzie are standing
"Why are you back here tonight, don't you have a date with McDreamy and McHottie?" She asked Tara and Meredith
"More like McMarried and McCheat" said George
"McWhat?"
" we just came to check on Joe."
"You think he's gonna need an operation?" Derek walks up
"Operation, yes. Ok, hard to tell. Basilar artery's blown up like a balloon. Subarachnoid bleeding. Aneurysm the size of a golf ball." He said.
"No way to clip something like that."
"Not without magic fingers."
"Or a standstill operation."
"You're doing a standstill— he's doing a standstill operation."
"I'd like to try. First I need some additional patient history, overnight labs, and a cerebral angio." He tried to hand Tara the chart, but she glares at him.
"I'm hammered." She said
"Tara" she walks away and George grabs the chart. Derek tries to follow her but the other interns step in his way.
"McBastard." Said Izzy, even though they weren't exactly friends.
"Tara!"
"Fuck off!"
"Just wait. We should discuss this."
"Discuss, what? Huh? How you lied to me for months or maybe how you reduced me to a fucking mistress?"
"At least let me explain."
"Explain? You know when you should have explained? The night we met in the bar. Before you told me that you loved me, before I told you that I loved you. Before any of it. Yeah, that would have been a good time to discuss it."
"Look, I know how you feel."
She laughed maniacally "Do you? I seriously doubt that. Because if you did, you would just walk away from me... I told you shit I never told anyone! Do you want to know when was the last time I said I love you to someone? Never! And you want to know what the worst part is? That you knew how hard it was for me to start trusting. You knew what I'd been through and yet you chose to lie. It feels like you stabbed me in the heart and twisted the knife so deep, and to the point where there was nothing left."
She got into her car and drove away. Derek was left standing in the rain alone, regretting how much he had hurt her. Because he knew she was right and the moment the words "I love you" escaped his mouth he knew Tara would end up getting hurt and to hurt her was the last thing he wanted. Yet, he was unable to stay away.
Tara got home and run to her room, only to find something that sent shivers down her spine.
A glimpse of the past. A glimpse of what was yet to come.
A single red tulip in the middle of her bed and a note with two words in it: miss me?...
*
"Ok, people, assignments. Yang, you're on discharges. O'Malley report to room E19. Grey come see me. Somebody's popular." Said Bailey.
"Meaning?"
"There's been a special request, just for you."
Tara walked down the hallways of the hospital looking for Addison.
"Sorry to interrupt, Dr. Burke." Said Addison
"You're never interrupting."
"She's always interrupting." Said Derek
"I was just checking to see if Dr. Burke secured the intern—"
"—Intern you requested? He did." Tara finished. Derek looks at Addison then Burke, Burke smiles and walks away. Derek walks away and leaves Tara and Addison staring at each other.
We were in the patient's room. Julie.
"Define TTTS." Addison
"Twin-twin transfusion syndrome. Conjoined fetal twins. Joined by lood vessels in the placenta."
"Meaning?"
"One twin gets too much blood, the other too little, endangering the lives of both."
Addison stared at her, analyzing her, like she had hoped she didn't know the answer.
"They told me there wasn't much chance anything could be done." Said Julie.
"TTTS is usually impossible to correct. Unless you happen to be one of a handful of surgeons in the world who knows how to separate fetal blood vessels. Which, luckily for you, I am. So were gonna get you into surgery tomorrow. If you have any questions at all please ask Dr. Parks. From what I have seen, she is one the hospital's most popular interns." Tara rose an eyebrow, this was not a time to mess with her. Addison was playing with fire. They walk into the hallway.
"Dr. Shepherd I understand that you have a problem with me. But I'd appreciated if you didn't 'subtly' insult me in front of patients."
"Chin up, Parks. I'm this tough on everyone, not just the women my husband sleeps with. Order an ultrasound for her and pre-op labs in full."
*
Tara was getting ready to do an ultrasound on Julie.
"What does it take to go after another woman's husband?"
"Pardon me?"
"It happened to me. Jeff moved in with a long-legged miniskirt who answer his phones, three weeks into my pregnancy. By the way, that gel is really cold."
"Look, I'm sorry about your husband. But my life is none of your business."
"Are you even sorry about Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd's husband? I bet she asked to work with you. It's what I would have done."
"I'm gonna go check on your labs."
*
Tara's POV
I went outside for some air. Everything was too much to handle. The man she loved was married and his perfect wife came back for him. And as if that wasn't enough HE was back too. To be honest I didn't know how long I could hold off from crumbling down.
Cristina saw me and approached me. "Hey"
"Hi. Ready to tell me who the father is?"
"Fine." She grumbled. "It's Burke."
I stared at her wide-eyed. "I got to say I wasn't expecting that. Are you going to tell him?"
"Look, Tara, can we not go there? Can everyone just accept the fact that there are some things I like to keep to myself? I don't discuss everything to death."
"I get it. Everyone's got something to hide" I said and she stared at me with curiosity."But if you didn't want any questions asked why even confide in me at all?"
*
I found abnormalities in the ultrasound so I went looking for Addison. "Dr. Shepherd."
"Yes?" Answered both Derek and Addison.
"Labs confirm what look like abnormalities on the ultrasound. I think you should come and see for yourself." I said ignoring Derek completely.
"Fine. Let's go."
"Tara. Tara" he called, but I ignored him yet again.
I was doing Julie's ultrasound and Addison was looking at it.
"Bilateral pleural effusion with evidence of subQ edema." I said
"In English, please?" Asked Julie
"We've detected what looks like beginning heart failure in the twins. Don't be alarmed."
"Are my babies gonna be ok?"
"I'm gonna go ahead and take you into surgery now. We're not gonna wait." She turns to me. "Book the OR. Move."
After her surgery we were in Julie's room.
"Dr. Parks will be back to check on you a little bit later."
"Actually, I'd prefer it if Dr. Parks were taken off the case."
"Why, is there a problem?"
"Just reminds me of someone I don't like very much. Someone my husband likes a lot. Particularly in lingerie. You understand."
"No, no, I don't understand."
"Well, she's sleeping with your husband, right?"
"Ms. Philips, I lack Dr. Parks' class and patience so, let me set the record straight." I resisted the urge to scoff. Me? Class and patience? "My husband didn't cheat on me, I cheated on him. So the wronged woman here is Dr. Parks. So, I think you owe her one hell of an apology." I was shocked at the revelation, but a part of me couldn't help but like Addison...
*
I finally gave Derek the chance to explain himself, though I didn't know if it was going to do any good.
"One night I parked my car, I unlock my front door, go inside my house, and something's different. Nothing's different, everything's the same, but yet, still, something's different. And I stand there for a while. And then I know. See, there are moments for me, you know, usually when I'm in the OR, when I just know what's gonna happen next. So I go upstairs. As I'm walking down the hall, I trying to prepare myself for what I'm gonna see when I go into my bedroom. I step on a man's jacket that doesn't belong to me. And everything I think I know just shifts. Because the jacket that doesn't belong to me is a jacket that I recognize. And what I know now is that when I go into my bedroom, I'm not just gonna see that my wife is cheating on me. I'm gonna see that my wife is cheating on me with Mark, who happened to be my best friend. It's just so pedestrian, common and dirty, and cruel. Mostly just cruel. I left, came out here." He explained.
"And you met me."
"And I met you."
"Did you really love me? Or was that another lie?"
"It wasn't a lie. I do love you. That hasn't changed. I want you, not Addison"
"You're married"
"My marriage is over."
"That doesn't change the fact that you have a wife. Or the fact that you lied to me about her."
He looked down. "I know and I wish to God that I could change that. Can you forgive me?"
"I want to" I said surprising even myself. "But I don't know how or even if I can. The wound is too deep."
Betrayal is extremely painful and no matter how much anesthesia you apply or how much you try to ignore the pain and move on. Sometimes you are just past saving.
*
Cristina and I were sitting at the bar. "The clinic has a policy. They wouldn't let me confirm my appointment unless I designated an emergency contact person. Someone to be there, just in case, and to help me home, you know, after. Anyway, I put your name down. That's why I told you I'm pregnant. You're my "person."" She said
"I am?"
"Yeah, you are. Whatever.... He dumped me."
I placed my head on top of her shoulder. "I'd hug you but I'm not that big on human contact.
She laughed. "Neither am I. So I'd say this constitutes as hugging."
"Shut up. I'm your person."
A/N: this is my favorite chapter yet. Hope you enjoyed it.