I knew a girl who was broken and didn't let anyone know.
She cried most nights but didn't let anyone see.
If she did it would go against the rules she made for her life.
1. Try and Be perfect
She felt like she had to be perfect no matter. Because if she wasn't, everyone made her feel like she had to be.
2. Don't talk back
Her parents made it seem like her talking back was the absolute worst thing in the world.
3. Build your walls up high
She had been burned before and whenever she let someone in, they hurt her. And she was so tired of being hurt
4. Be strong
She felt like she was weak and that wasn't good in her eyes. She felt if she was weak she would get made fun of and that would onky hurt her more
5. Don't let them see you cry
She was told that crying is a weakness and that was not an option because that would mean you are weak.
6. Don't talk much
She learnt that no one actually cared what she had to say, so why should she talk. They didn't pay attention when she talked so she stopped.
7. Don't speak your opinion
No one wanted to hear her opinion anyway, I mean no one ever listened so why should she say it
8. Don't lose your temper
She learnt that everyone expected her to be perfect and their idea of perfect included not ever getting angry.
9. Hide behind your smile
If she hid behind her smile, no one would see how broken she was. It was a wall and a pretty good one at that. She remembered reading somewhere that it was better to hide behind a smile than to explain your pain
10. Don't want anything
People made her feel bad because she wanted things . They would get angry anf that made her stop telling anyone she wanted things
11. Try harder
That is all she ever heard that she should try harder . Nothing was ever good enough. Nothing she did was good enough.
12. Don't tell anyone you feelings or problems
No one listened anyway and telling them made her feel like a burdan. It also gave them a way to hurt her.
13. Don't sing
She loved singing but everyone told her to shut up when she did and that made her feel like she was a burdan or annoying or imperfect .
14. Don't talk about things that you love
No one wanted to hear anyway and they always critized her for what she loved. Always made fun of her and made her feel like what she loved was stupid
That girl is me.
I felt tears running down my face when I read what was written in Olivia's notebook.
I didn't mean to read it but she dropped it and the heading caught my attention.
My best friend was hurting so much snx she just kept it inside of her.
I needed to find her . I ran to her locker and she was standing there . My heart broke.
I walked up to her and hugged her from behind . I felt her stiffen but then she realized it was me.
"Can we talk quickly?" It was lunch do we had some time. She nods and we walk to her football field.
"What's up?" she asks and I take a slow breathe before I start ....
Hey guys
This is part one of two. I haven't done a Jolivia one in a while.
Eat, sleep, drink water and be you cause you are so incredible
Love you a ton