Not a Homosexual (Homestuck f...

By RainbowDragoOUO

165K 5.4K 6.5K

Karkat is so bored that he could die because of it. His friend, Sollux, helps him with his problem. What Kar... More

Being Bored can Kill You
The Hell Train
Captor!!!!
How Did I Cure Him?
The Perfect Plan
It's The Puppet!!!
Cosplay?
The Hell Train Returns!
The Not Perfect Plan
Silly Rumors
The Stupid Prankster and The Bee
Cosplay Again?
Get The Shades!!!
Sober for Love
Success!!!
Fanfictions
Flashback Friday
The Talk
Violence Is Never The Answer
Big Trouble, Big Punishment
The 1st Hour
The 2nd Hour
The...3rd...Hour?
Love Tips
Cheesy Bee
Author's Note
B-Boyfriend?!?
Ding
Fake Shoes
Why Do We Keep On Cosplaying?
The Worst Date
The Best Date, Last Chapter

Pie

3.9K 159 328
By RainbowDragoOUO

A/N: first of all, THANKS SO FUCKING MUCH FOR 11K VIEWS! Second, As a gift, I'm going to try to make this chapter long.

Dave's POV

I kept my eyes shut as Miranda continued to yell at me for not obeying her. "Aren't you listening?!? You should obey your elders!!!! And I'm telling you to open your eyes and let me see them!!! Didn't your parents tell you to obey others who are older than you?!?!"

"Well I'm sorry, I don't have parents." I calmly said, "Bro is considered my father but at the same time, he's my brother. So yeah, no pare-" Before I could finish my sentence, I felt a hand slap me across the face.

Man, wish Bro was awake so he could yell at her or even kick her ass if he can. But he's asleep, on the floor with his hands tied around the chair he was sitting on. Yup, this bitch drugged him.

"YOU FUCKING-"
"Sis!"

I heard a voice. The voice sounds male and young. I then heard a sigh from Miranda, "Robby, can't you just go downstairs and chat with your brothers? I'm a little busy here."

"But you're so loud!!!"

CLINK CLANK CLANK

That sounded like metal crashing.

"Nope, that was loud. Go downstairs, that sound must be from outside, I'll check it." As I heard footsteps fade away, Miranda grabbed my collar and seethed, "You won't be eating anything." Then she left.

I heard the door slam shut and locked, I slowly opened my eyes. I looked around for my shades and frowned as I saw them in two pieces on the floor. Bro's shades were next to mine, also in two pieces.

"Damn, bitch." I muttered.

I hopped to a nearby window and looked out. I sighed loudly and leaned against the glass, I'm a Strider, I can deal with this.

I hope Karkat is fine..God dammit, that troll better be okay.

Karkat's POV

I started gagging as a fly went into my mouth. Nepeta and I were still rolling down the street, finding the purple hive.

After a few minutes of rolling at extreme speed, I found the purple hi- SHIT WE PASSED IT!

"NEPETA! STOP THE CHAIR! WE JUST PASSED THE PURPLE HIVE!!"

"Ok!" I looked back and saw Nepeta lowering her foot onto the cement to stop the chair, but when she landed her foot, she slipped and fell, leaving me on the rolling chair alone. "Oof! K-Karkitty!"

"Shit!" I yelled, looking around for a way to stop this chair. Then I found the brakes on the side. "Aha!" I grabbed the brakes and pulled it.

The good news is, the chair stopped immediately. The bad news is, I flew out of the chair.

"Aaahh!!" I landed on some trash bags and knock some trash cans down, creating a loud noise.

CLINK CLANK CLANK

"Karkitty! Are mew alright?" Nepeta asked, running to me. "Could stop fucking asking me if I'm alright?! Because I'm not! And it's not helping me!" I groaned.

I grabbed the cap that was on the ground and wore it. Nepeta helped me stand up and I winced, my body still aching.

"Come on, Karkitty, the pawpule hive is right there!" Nepeta pointed to the hive, I looked at the hive and saw a figure of a female human wearing a purple shirt and black shorts, and slippers.

"Nepeta, look." The human stared at us then went back into the hive. "Do mew think that's the kidnapper?" I nodded.

"Let's get back that Strider ass." I ran to the front door with Nepeta following me.

"We have to look for a way inside without letting her know." I said. Nepeta nodded and held my wrist, we went around the hive and searched for any open window. "Karkitty! There!" Nepeta pointed to an open window that's like..5 feet above us.

"Nepeta, how the hell do we go up there?" I asked.

Nepeta giggled and showed me her claws. She jumped on the wall and began climbing to the open window. She looked inside and looked down at me, "Nobody is inside. AC will climb in and find something for Karkitty to grab onto so he could climb up here too."

I nodded and she went in. I looked around and saw a window, I peeked in it and saw three male humans that look exactly like each other. Oh my gog, who knew humans had the ability to clone. Two of them were chatting and the other one was reading. I saw the female from earlier walk in the room, she was telling them something..shit..if only I could read lips..

"Karkitty!"

I looked up and saw Nepeta sticking her head out the window, "Here!" She dropped one end of a blanket and she was holding onto the other end. "Climb up!" She whisper-yelled.

I grabbed the blanket and positioned myself to get ready to climb. I held the blanket tightly and placed a foot on the hive. I placed my other foot on the hive and noticed a shadow surrounding me, when I looked up, I saw Nepeta falling.

"Oof!"
"ARGH! FUCK!"

She landed on me with a loud thud. "What the fuck?!?" I yelled. "Sorry Karkitty! AC wasn't strong enough! I also slipped!" She got off of me.

I sat up and saw the window I peeked in was open, and the three clones and female were staring at us.

"Oh my god! They were trying to break into our house, Miranda! They're burglars!!" One of the clones yelled.

Nepeta and I stood up, I shook my head, "No, we're rescuers." Nepeta scared the four with her claws, they backed up and gave us the chance to jump into the window.

"They're aiming for the Striders! Boys, get them!" The female yelled. The clones began throwing books at us, I blocked the books with my gray bag and shielded Nepeta.

The female, or Miranda I suppose, ran out of the room. I grabbed Nepeta's wrist and we ran to the door, I got hit on the head by a book, so I glared at the clones and they snickered. I grabbed the book that hit me and threw it back at them hard. It hit one of them and he fell backwards.

Nepeta and I ran out of the room and found two sets of stairs, one leading to the left side of the hive and the other to the right.

"That Miranda bitch knows where Strider is. We have to find her."
"Karkitty, I found her!"

I turned my head to face Nepeta and saw her pointing to the staircase at the right. There she was, at the very top. She caught sight of us and ran into a hallway.

"She's getting away-" I was cut of by getting hit on the head by a book again.

I looked back and saw the three clones. They were holding knives. I was about to rip their heads off but I felt Nepeta push me aside, "Go get the lady, Karkitty! AC will deal with them!"

I nodded, "Thank you, Nepeta." And ran to the staircase. I looked back and saw Nepeta fighting the three. I continued running up the stairs and reached the top. I sprinted into the hallway to find the female at the end.

There was a door and she closed and locked it. She turned to face me and smile, "Well, hello there young man. I'm sorry but you can't get the two beloved men beyond this door. Their mine."

"No way, fucker," I grabbed my gray backpack, unzipped it, and pulled out the knife I packed, "one of the pricks behind that door is mine. And I'm getting him back."

Miranda laughed, "Really? Wow. You're gonna risk your life just to get him back?" She then grabbed something behind her, a pistol. She aimed it at me and smiled.

"Yes."

BANG

Dave's POV

Holy shit. What was that?! I can't see a fucking think because the bitch wrapped a blindfold around my eyes.

I stayed silent to listen for more sounds. Nothing. Oh god, what's happening out there..

"Uh..D-Dave! Psst..uh.."

I perked up and began looking arou- wait. I can't see. Right.

"Who the hell is there?" I said. "I-It's me..T-Tavros.."

"Tavros? Oh, Tavros. Where are you?"

"I'm outside..behind the..uh..w-window.."

I hopped to where I heard Tavros' voice could be heard a little louder. "Break the window so you could get in and untie me." I instructed.

"O-okay." I heard a loud thud, but no glass breaking. "O-ow.."

I sighed,"Are you for real, dude?"

"Oh right! I-I have my..uh..lance.." I heard a loud thud again, and this time, also glass breaking and another loud thud. I felt a shard of glass pierce into my leg and I let out a tiny groan.

BANG

I heard the gunshot again..

Tavros removed the blindfold and untied me, when I was free, I grabbed the shard and removed it from my leg. I twitched a bit and calmed down.

"Thanks, dude." I stood up and patted Tavros' shoulder. He smiled and I ran to Bro. I picked up his sleeping figure and damn, he's heavy.

Karkat's POV

BANG

Was the sound of the bullet I dodged. I ducked and ran to the bitch, with my knife in my hand.

She pulled the trigger again but this time, the bullet passed my shoulder, leaving a slash.

"GAH! FUCKASS!" I tried to stab her but she keeps on fucking dodging them.

She then kicked my hand, causing the knife to fly away. She tripped me and I fell on my ass. I heard the gun click, and when I looked up, I saw the fun aimed at my face. "Any last words, you pathetic shit?"

I sighed, "I'm sorry, Dave-"

"THROW. THE. PIEEEEEEEEE!!!"

I looked at Miranda's face, eyes widen, and saw her face covered in Sopor Slime and this white frosting.

I looked behind me and saw Egbert and Gamzee.

John was wearing a white shirt with this weird green character on the middle, brown shorts and sneakers. And of course, his thick rimmed glasses. Gamzee was wearing..his usual clothes.

As the bitch was removing the pie off her face, Gamzee ran to me and picked me up "bridal style". John ran to Miranda and slapped the gun out of her hand. "Oh wait, haha, we need that." John said, picking up the gun and knife.

Gamzee and John began to run away from her, "Wait!! Dave is behind that door!!" I yelled. "Don't worry, Karbro. Tavbro got him." Gamzee smiled down at me.

We went down the stairs and I found Eridan, Sollux, and Nepeta fighting the clones. "Wow, those triplets are strong." I heard John muttered.

"That'th it. You fuckerth athked for it." Sollux then placed a hand on his head, I saw sparks coming from behind his glasses. The 'triplets' began flying and then suddenly, smashed into each other.

They fell and landed on the ground, it looks like they fainted.

Gamzee and John ran down the stairs and united with the other three. "Oh no! Karkitty! Are you-" "The answer is no."

"Wwe gotta reunite wwith Tavv outside." Eridan spoke up.

Everyone nodded. "Sollux?" Sollux turned to look at me, "Thanks. Thanks everyone.."

Nepeta and Gamzee smiled.
John replied, "No problem, Karkat!"
Eridan lifted his chin and smiled.
"Sure, you wanted help, I got you help." Sollux said.

Dave's POV

"W-why is he so..uh..heavy?" Tavros asked, helping me carry Bro. "I don't know." I answered.

I finally got to carry Bro's left arm over my shoulder. "Okay, dude. Open the door." Tavros scratched his he and looked down, "Uh..my friends and I..uh..planned to meet outside..so c-could we just climb out the window I b-broke?"

I shook my head, "If you're here, that means Karkat is too. I heard a gunshot, I want to make sure Karkat is safe and alright. Got it? Now would you please open the door."

Tavros nodded and went for the door, "I-It's locked!"

"Step aside." As Tavros moved away, I kicked the door and it opened. "Let's go."

Tavros and I ran down the hallway, and when we reached the end, I found Miranda's back facing us. Her hair was covered in this green shit and pie.

She was standing on the edge of the stairs and her arm was extended, holding a pistol. I looked at where she was aiming at and saw Karkat and the others. She was aiming at Karkat's head.

"Oh no you fucking don't." I dropped Bro's body on the floor and walked to Miranda. She noticed my presence and before she could react, I pushed her down the stairs.

She fell, rolling down the stairs. The others heard her and turned their heads to watch the rolling figure.

Karkat saw me and smiled really big. Wow. I don't know if that's still my Karkat.

As Miranda landed on the last step, I whispered under my breathe, "I warned you about stairs, bro."

Karkat's POV

"DAVE!" I jumped out of Gamzee's arms and smiled.

Dave smiled and ran down the stairs, hopped over the bitch's body and crushed me into a hug.

Tavros did the same but went to Gamzee.

I hugged back and buried my face into his chest, "Oh my fucking gog, I was so fucking worried about you."

"Yeah, I know. I'm here, I'm here."

I tightened my hug and whispered, "I love you."

Dave broke the hug and lifted my chin, so I could stare into his crimson red eyes. "You know that..I love you too?"

I smirked, "Of course I do, fuckass."

Dave smirked back and gently placed his lips on mine.

"Homo love." I heard John whisper.

Continue Reading

You'll Also Like

2.4K 118 9
Two dysfunctional trolls happened to meet each other online. Their friendship evolves to something just a bit more than friendship, but what exactly...
78.4K 2.8K 30
Solkat Karkat Vantas just moved into a new town along with his brother Kankri and Porrim. He has this internet friend he likes to open up with but he...
25.8K 889 12
Eridan Ampora, Prince. Feferi Peixes, Princess. Sollux Captor, Prince. These three have just learned that they are betrothed to someone from anoth...
5.3K 88 22
Homestuck, go read it, or watch it on yt if you don't want spoilers. Also I do not own Homestuck or any of Andrew Hussies works they all belong to hi...