CHAPTER 11
⌗ 𓂃 𖥔༌ ᰷ ﹅finding finn & apologies﹅ ᰷ 𖥔༌ 𓂃⌗
day three of finney's disappearance.
as I opened my eyes slowly, all the horrible memories of yesterday's events came flooding back to me. I groaned and pushed my face back into my pillow.
"y/n? you ok in there? you gotta get up, those detectives are coming over today." dad spoke through the door. of course.
"yeah. getting up now." I pulled myself out of bed and stared at my appearance in my full body mirror. I looked a mess.
dark eye bags circled my eyes and my skin looked thin and pale. my face was covered in tear tracks, my hair was limp and I looked like skinnier than normal due to the worry eating at my insides. but worst of all, a splotchy, purple bruise was forming on my cheek where vance's fist had made contact with me.
he'd called. a lot. he'd left messages on my house phone, which I'd instructed dad and gwen not to answer. once dad told him to stop calling, he rang the small pink phone in my room. after I'd angrily unplugged the thing, I had worried he would show up at the house. I felt a little bad, he obviously felt guilty but I couldn't bring myself to face him.
I'd tried to call imani, but to no avail. cheyenne's mum had said she was with imani, apparently the group — besides bruce — had gone to the park to comfort her and cameron, who was recovering from vance's beating. I had thought of going over to them to try and talk things out but decided to let them cool off for a bit.
I felt tears prick my eyes again and I ran my hands through my hair in distress. I pulled on a bra under my sleep vest and zipped a hoodie three-quarters of the way up. I checked the time and was surprised to see it was almost 11.
"dad? am I not going into school?" I turned the corner into the kitchen to find dad with a newspaper at the table. my heart leapt to my throat as I spotted a picture of finney and I plastered on the front of the newspaper. I was holding finney close, our faces pressed together with big cheesy grins. I was slightly cropped out of the square so it was more focused on finney's face. I remembered that day clearly.
I was at the park with bruce and finney, waiting to pick up gwen from her friend's birthday party.
"oh come on, finney! pose with your sister!" bruce joked, holding a camera. finney protested with a big smile as I grabbed at him.
I eventually trapped him in my arms, pulling him close to mine and holding our cheeks close. bruce snapped the picture and finney broke out of my grip.
"y/n? I said you can have the day off considering yesterday."
"oh. right. thanks, dad." dad followed my eyeline and turned the front page to him. he sighed as his eyes fell on the picture.
"I... I don't remember that being taken." he admitted quietly.
"you weren't there." my voice hardened as I padded over to the cupboards to make breakfast.
"...I haven't been. enough. after your mom died... I didn't know what to do. she was always the one who knew how to calm you down or cheer you up. how to just look after you in general." he said.
"you still didn't have to abuse us." I didn't look at him as I spoke. dad sighed and I froze as I realised I crossed the boundary.
"I know." dad's reply caught me off guard. "I know. god, I hate myself. I'm so sorry, y/n. I'm trying. I really am. to right what I did. but... I know, it won't change how you see me but... god, I don't lnow. I threw all my beer out."
I slowly placed my spoon down and turned to dad.
"you really hurt us. not just physically but mentally. and I want— no, I need you to apologise to the kids too. and stop treating them as if they're still 2. it will take time for us to see you differently but... I don't see why we won't change our view. thank you. for being nicer." my voice thickened with tears as I spoke.
"thank you for giving me a second chance." dad looked at me with sorrow and guilt. "I love you. and the kids. I just didn't know how to handle you. my father was the same to me, I don't know any different."
"I know, dad." the doorbell rang. "i'll get it, it's probably the detectives."
I opened the door to the two men, both looking very on edge.
"detectives. please, come in." I gestured for them to come inside.
"miss blake, mr blake. is gwen home?" detective wright spoke.
"no, she's at school." I responded, confused.
"well, we're gonna need her."
***
gwen sat between the two detectives on our threadbare couch as dad and I stood beside each other, watching nervously. her eyes were shut tight as she tried to search. she was searching for finney. or any clue of where he could be.
the most horrible thoughts filled my mind. finney being lost in the middle of the woods; finney being hurt and bleeding out in some creep's bedroom; finney crying his eyes out in some basement.
gwen's movement caught my eye. she shook her head slowly.
"he's... alone. I can't see very well." she opened her eyes sadly. dad and I sighed. "I'm sorry."
"no, gwen. you did great." I smiled at her, the men in the room nodding. she smiled sadly a little before hopping off of the sofa and heading to her room.
detective wright sighed.
"well, this confirms one thing. the other two boys are dead." he said. detective miller shook his head with pursed lips.
"w-will finney be ok?" dad asked.
"well, we can't say for sure. but, if any other boys go missing at the hands of this guy, we'll have no choice but to assume he's been killed. I'm sorry." I let out a shaky breath at wright's words. my head felt light and my knees felt weak. the ground swayed beneath me slightly. "miss blake, are you ok?"
"yeah... just a bit tired." I placed a hand on my forehead.
"here, come sit down." dad took me by the arm and lead me to the nearby armchair. he sat me down and rushed off to get me a glass of water.
"miss blake, we're doing everything we can to find your brother. we feel we are very close." detective miller assured me.
"thank you, I just worry. anything could've happened in the past three days. I just... I need him to be ok." my voice broke on the last sentence as I took the cold glass from my worried dad's hand.
"your cheek, miss blake... how did that happen?" detective miller gave a cautious glance to my dad.
"oh, my— friend... he got in a fight and I tried to get him out of it and he didn't realise it was me, he thought I was some random trying to gang up on him with the kid he was fighting. it's fine." I waved my hand to brush the situation away.
"if you need to report an assault—"
"oh, no! no, no. everything's fine. it was an accident." I replied quickly.
"right, well, if you need anything or gwen sees anything, call us." detective wright began to stand, detective miller following.
"thank you, both of you." dad and I saw the detectives to the door, both of us waving goodbye with our thanks.
"I'm... gonna go talk to gwen." dad said.
"ok, remember what I said." as dad walked off, I began to close the door but a mop of curly blonde hair walking down the road towards my house stopped me.
"y/n! y/n, don't close the fucking door, please." vance called to me. "shit. your eye... I'm so sorry!"
I sighed as vance moved up the pathway to my house.
"vance, stop. you fucking punched me in the face. don't try and interrupt. listen. you hit me. I know you didn't know it was me, but you still hit me. vance, I hate it when you get into fights. surely you know how I feel about violence, you know what kind of household i've lived in for these last years. plus, it's not good for you! it's not good to get hurt almost everyday, regardless of if you still win the fight. I need space, though. I need to breathe. this isn't us taking a break or even breaking up. just come find me on saturday or something." I said.
"but, it's thursday. that's two days!" vance exclaimed.
"a day and a bit. i'll be at the grab'n'go at twelve on saturday." with an emotionless expression, I closed the door behind me.
***
saturday rolled around and I reluctantly dragged myself to the grab'n'go. full of nerves, I fiddled with the ties of my black, lacey tie front top which covered my brown maxi dress. the sound of my shoes clicking delicately on the ground gave a distraction to what was yet to come.
coming to the front of the store, I felt sick with pent up anxiety. I hoped that vance wouldn't be mad for how I spoke to him yesterday. through the window, I noticed vance stood by the pinball machine. he was stood at the side facing the window, the game untouched. I took in him for his all. over his black vest, he wore my favourite jean jacket of his, the sleeveless one littered with the patches of all his favourite bands. he wore a matching pair of jeans adorned with tears and bleach stains. his eyes skittered around as he searched for me nervously. his eyes locked on mine and he stood up straight.
the bell jingled over me as I opened the door. I glanced to vance who was stood still, eyes on me, unsure of what to do. I headed to the back, the confectionary aisle and scanned it over.
"y/n..." I heard vance from behind me.
"vance." my voice was curt.
"y/n, please look at me." I turned around and faced vance. he winced as he looked over my black eye. it was better now, but I hadn't bothered to cover it up to make him feel worse for what he did.
"y/n... I am so, so, sorry. I shouldn't have started on cameron, I shouldn't have beat him and up and I sure as fuck shouldn't have punched you! I thought you were like arlo or someone coming to try and beat my ass, it was instinct. but that's no excuse. I fucked up. badly. so, so badly. and I realise now that I was being stalkerish that night, I just... I felt I had to fix it as soon as possible. I don't wanna lose you. I can't lose you. you are everything to me, the one relationship that I've ever held. with anyone. my friends don't like me really, girls I dated have never liked me really, my dad doesn't like me, my stepdad sure as hell doesn't like me. you, my sisters and my mom are the only people who have put up with me in my life. I'm sorry, y/n. I really like you, will you give me a second— third chance?"
"ok." I nodded my head.
"ok?"
"ok, vance. I really like you too. I really do. I know it was an accident. I just..." as tears pricked my eyes, vance enveloped me in a hug.
"I get it. I get it. i'll stop fighting so much, I promise," vance's words were comforting to me.
"thank you," I mumbled as I pulled back, refusing to cry in the middle of the grab'n'go. "you hugged me in public," I let out a strangled laugh and wiped a few stray tears.
"so?" vance chuckled as well.
"you said we'd be a secrect." I pointed to the end of the aisle where robin stood, mouth agape in a wide stance.
"Y/N?!" he yelled. an old woman beside him violently shushed him. as she turned around, he stuck his tongue out at her before stomping over to us. his voice was a violent whisper as he spoke again. "y/n?? what the fuck??"
I laughed again as robin turned to vance.
"alright there, kid?" he said with an eyebrow raise. robin studied him with a side eye before turning back to me.
"if vance upsets you I'm beating his ass." he stated. vance let out a bark of laughter before his face fell to a threatening glare.
"I'd fucking like to see you try."
***
BAES AGAIN
AND I DIDNT FOLLOW THROUGH ON MY ROBIN PROMISE BUT THERES BEEN NO PLACE FOR HIM 😭 BUT HES BAAAAACK