"Rise and shine, sleepyhead!"
I hear mom's voice from the corridor.
Aaarrrrgggh!
I rollover to face the wall and pretend to be asleep.
I've actually been up for a while now. I woke up when Randy "tried" to leave the room without making noise.
Need I tell you how bad he was at it?
His footsteps were effortlessly noisy, despite him trying to tiptoe out, plus, he did a bad job with the door too.
I didn't feel like going down yet so I just lay on my bed and stare into the space, hoping to fall back asleep, but the chatter from downstairs makes that slightly impossible.
They all sound very cheerful and I feel it's too early in the morning to be this cheerful, plus, I'm not really in a cheerful mood right now so I just stay out of their way.
"Mandy?"
This time I hear her voice right outside my door.
I quickly cover my head with the pillow and bury myself even deeper under the sheets.
The door clicks open and I hear her footsteps approaching the bed.
"I know it's Saturday, but you've gotta get out of bed now."
I just lay still. Who knows, if I keep at it long enough she'll just give up and go away.
The last thing I feel like doing right now is talking or even facing anyone.
"Mandy?" She calls softly. "We're about having breakfast. Why don't you join us?"
Almost instantly, my stomach gives a low growl in response and I realize I haven't eaten since last night.
Suddenly becoming conscious of my hunger, I'm tempted to go down with her, but I decide against it.
Going down would mean coming face to face with Randy and I don't want to do that right now because I feel really bad about last night.
I've been up thinking about him actually, and I realize I just might have been a little too harsh on him last night.
I mean, who am I to judge him?
It's totally normal that I was upset about him getting into that drinking game even though he literally swore he was done with alcohol, but I had to understand things from his perspective too ...that the change wouldn't happen overnight like magic, but that it'd take time.
And then I make a decision, to be patient with him for as long as it took to get over it.
"Mandy?"
She tries yanking the sheets off but I'm holding onto them tightly.
"I know you can hear me. Get up already!"
"Mom, go away," I fake a sleepy voice, pulling at the sheets even tighter.
"It's past 10am. You've had enough sleep."
I finally let go and slowly emerge from under the sheets.
"No, mom. I haven't had enough sleep, because you guys woke me up! I've barely had any sleep since."
"Silly. We kept the noise down."
"Yeah, right." I snort. "You guys all but kept the noise down. I could hear you singing William Pharrell's Happy in my sleep."
"Someone's very grumpy this morning. I'm gonna go now."
I sit up and release a sigh.
Mom always has a way of making me feel bad for stuff I really shouldn't feel bad for....like right now.
"I'm sorry," I call after her as she leaves but she says nothing and just walks out.
Well that's a great start for the day.
I get out of bed and lazily walk into the bathroom.
Mid shower, it dawns on me, that Randy used THIS VERY SHOWER a few hours back!
I mean, how crazy is that?
This isn't a big deal and shouldn't mean anything right?
But somehow, it does, in a way I can't describe and now I don't know whether to be excited or to be freaked out about it?
Soon, I find myself combing through my closet for something to wear.
Usually I'd just throw on some sweatpants and a tank top or a sweatshirt or something, but today I find myself looking to wear something else.
And as much as I hate to admit it, that might have to do with Randy being around.
I stare hard at the hanger in my hand. It's the pink floral print sundress which mom got me last year, in an attempt to get me to wear anything other than black sweatshirts and sweatpants.
Of course, I disappointed her...I never wore the dress.
Can't actually blame me, the color pink has just never really stood out to me.
I contemplate whether or not to wear the dress. I mean, while the dress is beautiful and would
good on me, I fear it may be too fancy to wear around the house.
Besides, am I really willing to go this extra for a boy? Is this what I've become??
Not to mention, mom and Miranda would probably put two and two together and tease me forever.
After what seems like forever, I decide to stick to my regular sweatpants and a tank top.
I'm not about to let him influence what I wear in my own house.
No sooner had I finished dressing up than I heard a knock on my door.
Mom.
That's one persistent woman.
"I'll be right down, mom," I yell.
"It's me, Randy!"
The person I don't want to see, yet I want to see so desperately. Great! Just great!
What is this, a let's-get-Mandy-out-of-her-room party?
"Come in!" I call out after quickly fixing my hair again for the third time this morning and double checking in the mirror to see if I look okay.
I busy myself with making the bed when he walks in.
"Hi."
I pause to look at him briefly. He had less sleep than I did, yet he still looks surprisingly refreshed. And very happy too.
The big smile on his face is so contagious, it triggers me to smile back even though I really don't want to.
"Hi," I respond with a big smile.
"Here, let me help."
He immediately moves to the other end of the bed before I can even protest.
"Sleep well?" He asks, smoothing out his side of the sheets.
"I did, actually, all thanks to a very good storyteller who put me to sleep."
"He sounds like a very nice person."
I fake a gasp.
"You're just going to assume that the storyteller's a 'he'?" I go on dramatically.
"Oops. I forgot all about female empowerment and gender equality."
I burst out into laughter and he does too.
"Did you sleep well?" I ask after we calm down.
"Well, the study desk and chair are no 5-star hotel plush oversized bed, but I felt surprisingly comfortable."
Ooops!
I'm literally screaming within me right now. I got carried away last night and messed up the sleeping arrangement.
I made him sleep on my study desk!!!
My STUDY DESK!!!
I'm such a terrible host!
"And now I feel bad," I admit, arranging the pillows and teddy bears on the bed.
He moves to sit on the study desk and I perch on the edge of the bed, careful not to ruin it again.
"Hey, come on. I'm only pulling your legs."
"But I should have at -"
"Shhhh," he cuts me off.
"I'm all good. Okay?"
I sigh wearily and finally look up at him.
"Okay?" He pushes when I don't say anything.
"Okay," I respond reluctantly and look down again, feeling even more terrible.
"Watching you sleep was the most beautiful thing ever and if I had to sleep on a desk to make that possible, then I'm content with every second I spent on this desk."
I can feel my heart swell with joy and gratitude as his words wash over me, leaving me feeling seen and recognized in a way I never had before.
This is by far the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.
His words echo and re-echo in my ears and I feel my lips curve up into a smile.
I immediately start playing with my hands, something I do out of habit whenever I'm nervous.
I can feel his eyes on my every movement as I readjust myself on the bed.
I attempt looking up at him, and as suspected, his piercing eyes are staring down at me with a level of intensity I cannot bear so I quickly look back down.
"It's okay, you can look at me." I can hear the smile in his voice.
Slowly, I raise my head and meet with his gaze, but I struggle hard to maintain eye contact.
Not that he's having a hard too. He's not even blinking!
"You've been avoiding me all morning. Why's that?" He finally breaks the silence.
I give a nervous laugh.
"Avoiding you? That's silly. I'm here talking to you, aren't I?"
"Don't play dumb, Mandy. You know what I mean. I know you've been up for a while now, yet you remained holed up in your room. Plus, you've barely looked me in the face since I came in," he explains in a soft tone, just loud enough for me to hear.
I release a sigh. How am I going to explain to him that the problem is not him, but me?
"It's not like that. I'm not intentionally avoiding you or -"
"Look, I know I messed up last night and that you're disappointed in me. I can understand if that's why you're avoiding me, but please -" He breaks off his sentence, and for the first time, looks down.
My eyes widen as I continue to look at him, trying to make sense of the whole situation.
I hear him swallow before continuing.
"Please, at least look at me...don't hide your face from me, Mandy."
It takes my brain a while to process his words. Meanwhile, my heart is beating rapidly and I find it a bit difficult to breath.
Deep breaths Mandy...deep breaths.
I sigh before drawing in a long, deep breath.
"Randy, what I meant was that I didn't actually avoid you. Yes, I was disappointed and upset last night, but not anymore. I thought about the whole thing and I realized that it's a gradual process and not an instant transformation at the wave of a wand. And this made me feel bad for getting mad at you, especially since you were so nice to me last night and even put me to sleep and I didn't really know how to face you this morning and that's why I've been locked up here the whole morning. I feel so guilty and that's why I'm unable to look you in the face and-"
"Mandy." He jumps down from the table and sits beside me.
"Hey, you're getting worked up. Calm down," he whispers softly, reaching to stroke my hair.
At this point I'm panting, still breathless from my little speech.
"Let's take a deep breath," he suggests, gesturing for me to do so and I oblige immediately.
"That's it. Let's take another one."
I draw in another breath which leaves me feeling much better. I'm breathing easy again.
"I'm sorry," I whisper and lean against him, placing my head on his chest while he still strokes my hair.
"It's all good, Mandy. It's all good," he reassures me and I release a sigh of relief.
I'm so glad I could get all that off my chest. It's being bothering me since morning and it feels nice to finally offload the burden.
"So, you forgive me?" I look up at him with a smile.
He smiles back.
"That depends."
"On what?"
"Will you hide your face from me?" He sounds serious now.
Just like that?
He's switched tones in a second?
I shake me head almost immediately. "No. See?" I boldly look up at him with a big smile, and with no intention of looking down again.
But why isn't he smiling back?
Isn't this what he wanted? For me to not hide my face but look at him?
Lots of questions are racing across my brain right now.
Suddenly becoming conscious of the rapid beating of his heart, my own heart too starts to beat in the same wild manner, causing me to quickly remove my head from his chest, like the action of lightning.
I risk a sideway glance at him and catch him staring at me so I turn to face him fully.
He returns my smile, a mischievous glint to his eyes as he draws closer.
"Good," He finally speaks up, his voice no louder than a whisper.
I look into his eyes and I see a mixture of desire and tenderness. I watch as his eyes move around my face and narrow down on my lips, eyeing them with a kind of eagerness I've never seen before.
But there's something else - I see something else in his eyes...a sense of vulnerability and trust, that makes me both excited and nervous in one breath.
He draws closer again and at this point I can feel his warm breath on my face. I lean forward, bridging the gap between us, my heart pounding in excitement, and the proverbial butterflies beginning to stir in my tummy, all coming together to create an overall feeling that cannot be described in words.
And I can tell he feels it too, because I can see the anticipation in his eyes.
We're just inches away, so close...
Time seems to have stopped and everything in the world, either faded away or frozen in time. But none of that mattered. All that mattered was this very moment and the possibility of what might happen next.
"I guess you're forgiven now," he continues with the same tone, this time more huskily than his voice usually is.
I only nod, and proceed to close my eyes, ready...
Waiting...savoring the moment...
Our lips drawing closer by the second, but before they actually get to touch, the door bursts open and mom walks in!
Alas, the moment is ruined and I feel a pang of disappointment as we're forced to pull apart.
Aghhhrrrhh!!
Really, mom? Really?
"Ok lovebirds, the pancakes are getting cold now. You can continue after breakfast," she announces, clapping away in the most annoying way possible.
She does a good job of keeping a straight face, but I know deep down she's laughing her head off.
"Mom! Get out!" I yell, burying my face in my palms. She bursts into laughter as she turns to leave.
Randy also laughs too, making me feel more embarrassed than I already am.
"Come on, let's go! He pulls me up excitedly.
"We'll definitely get back to this later," he tells me with a wink as we head out.
I look down, trying so hard to fight the smile that's threatening to escape, and to keep the imaginations away.
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Hope you had a good read!
XOXO, me♥️🫠