March 14th
It's been a month since I last saw Pablo but we've kept in contact more than ever. Pedri came to visit only a few weeks ago he had a meeting in Liverpool so came up to Manchester to see me.
Though since then i've just been training, playing and going through the memories on my phone. Some memories have been hitting harder than I thought and i've shred a few tears.
As of this one. It was a picture of Pablo and I when we were at the red carpets pretending to be together. The way he was looking at me just shows this boy has always been in love with me.
Then there was a photo of Pedri and I at the beach when we were little and I tell you this photo is one of my favourites so I did decide to upload it onto instagram to annoy him.
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maciexgarcia P x
pablogavi aww
pedri mais why!!
^
pedri we cute tho
I loved this photo for so long when I was a little girl it always reminded me on how much Pedri was my closest person. He is my person also he's the one I run to when I honestly need someone.
Then I had this other photo of Laila and I. I looked at it for a few minutes because I just didn't really know how to feel. She was my best friend but she was on a beach while I was drugged.
I shook my head then going onto the next photo that was me and my mother oh how I missed my mother. My best friend, I never really speak about my mothers death due to how it happened.
My mother got cancer. Cancer which she only lasted six months with. I lost her right in front of me the words that came out her mouth were "I love you Mais." Hence why since her Pedri is the only person in this world to call me Mais.
She dropped, her hand was tughtky in mine and it stopped she stopped squeezing and she went cold, blue. I was a ten year old girl then. She gave me the passion to football my mother.
She was one of the best woman's footballer in my own opinion but the supporters loved her just as much. Pablo told me once she was a big inspiration to him and he wishes he had the chance to meet her.
She would love him, my mother had the biggest heart. My father hasn't been the same without her they were inseparable they showed me the reason of true love.
My reason on knowing how Pablo is my one and my forever is because of how my father treated my mother. It's as of Pablo watched their relationship or if my mothers his guardian angel.
Though my mother and I were inseparable we done everything together, she taught me football, she gave me my style, she travelled with me to placed I always wanted to go.
I had a tear now falling from my eye down my cheek. I wiped it with my thumb as I then smiled and started laughing. I do this a lot when I'm upset I always start laughing.
Though my biggest fear of my mothers death was her cancer being passed onto me and I am only eighteen. My mother was thirty when she passed away and the cancer hit her at twenty five.
It wasn't bad until she got to five years later though there was no cure and she had six months left after her thirtieth birthday. I spent every minute and everyday with my mother mostly in the hospital.
I don't want to have a baby by my side at the hospital when they'd house be chasing their dreams instead. I have searched it up multiple times on how to find out if I am close to the cancer spread but I never found out.
So it's just a process of waiting rather than searching. I wouldn't want Pablo to go through that pain either after what I saw my father go through. I also couldn't watch Pedri loose me.
I annoy Pedri but he admits it every day that if it wasn't for me he'd be anywhere but where he is now. I kept him up on his feet a lot actually hr isn't wrong.
Whenever he messed up in football it was me there who told him to carry on and get back on that pitch. I was at every game, every training, every new team. Even the minute he joined Barça.
His friendship with Messi was my favourite too. Messi and I got along so well he was like an uncle one of those fun uncles he was amazing I tell you. We talk to Messi once every few months but we are hoping his return back to Barça.
I remember him telling us once that his home in Fc Barcelona and he will retire at Fc Barcelona. I hope he hasn't forgotten about that. Oh Neymar I miss him too we wasn't as close to Neymar but he used to babysit me.
We played football in the back garden and we played fifa together. It was indeed a good time I haven't spoke to him since he left Barça actually he replaced our friendship for Mbappe.
Mbappe seems real nice too actually I would love to meet him I can't believe I got thrown to Manchester City when I could be in France with Neymar, Mbappe and Messi.
Since I am naming the best footballers let's talk about Ronaldo. He was the Real Madrid boy and I hated him but out of football he was my favourite person.
I babysat his son when he was just a little boy for a few years actually. Though I was only around seven to ten when I babysat him Pedri was with me sometimes. I loved his son as if he was my own though I was just a little girl.
Christiano is so big now and he's getting there with his football and when I see how he progresses it's like a proud mother moment. I taught him a lot at a young age so I am sure he's the best big brother to his four siblings.
Oh I also remember my first period I got and I started crying with the pain I was in. I was eleven when I got my first period and Pedri was trying to comfort me and tell me to stop crying that's it's just a sore stomach.
Then we realised I was bleeding, Pedri didn't know much he he told me he had learnt about it so he ran downstairs to get my father. I wish I experienced this part with my mother but I didn't get to.
My father ran up panicking and now since that day I have always wondered what Pedri said to him before he shoved Pedri but gently when he realised it was just my period.
I laughed at the memory but then it hit me. My period. I haven't had my period since before Christmas. Like long before Christmas and it's now march.
I stood up pulling on some sweats and a jumper. I threw my hair up into a messy bun and made my way out to the car. I got in the car slamming the door driving as fast as the speed limit to the pharmacy before it closed.
I got there running inside, I swear I bought like five pregnancy tests because the last thing I trust is one. I got them and got myself home then I took all five.
I couldn't breathe it's been about an hour and I am way too scared to turn it over. I took a deep breath and turned the first one over. I think I stopped breathing by this point because I saw the two lines.
It can't be.. Maybe it's just a a false alarm. I turned over another few and they all had those two little lines. I didn't know what to do like do I tell Pablo do I not?
No he's the father I tell him right? I wanted to call him but I just couldn't. I'm pregnant and I don't even have a bump? To my calculations if my period hasn't been here for almost three months I should have at least a bump?
I have nothing I still look myself. I don't know J will tell him I just need the right right to do so I will do it trust me in this. I sighed as I then put every pregnancy into a box.
I keep them I should keep them it'll be perfect! I need to book a scan.. No I don't tell anyone It's too early.. I could loose the baby.. No that's too much.. Oh I don't know.
I called the doctor immediately booking an appointment but the again I still didn't have those guts to call Pablo and tell him he was going to be a dad.. Maybe my heart wants to tell him in person.. I'll figure it out..
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If I'm honest I cried writing this about her mother.
She is pregnant.
18 is young but my cousin seems to be doing well at 17..
I've had this planned so long I am actually excited to share this part with you.
Love you all!!!! <33