I wake feeling more sluggish than usual, but the sight of my pillow gets my adrenaline flowing immediately. It's spattered with blood. I gingerly touch my face and realize the culprit is a nasty nosebleed. Thankfully Justus is an early riser, so I'm spared the humiliation of having him see me looking like I've been in a bar fight.
Quietly, I strip off the pillow case, hoping that I can throw it away before any of my friends see it.
"Nosebleeds and headaches are the earliest symptoms of the H2IV," Sun says, catching me in the act of stuffing the bloody pillow case deep in the trash can. "You can also expect bruising and muscle pain today."
So soon? The weight of what I'll be facing every day for the rest of my life settles on my shoulders. It's not the heaviest weight I'm carrying, but it's another burden I don't need.
The main room of the Bunker is busy today. Alison and Cesar are exploring vid editing software on one of the computers next to Marie and Kat, who are giggling over a meme on Marie's laptop. A group of students from Seattle Secondary's newest class are clustered around a table, looking over costume sketches. After grabbing a mug of black coffee, Sun makes his way to the new touch screen Professor Wilde added to the far wall. It's filled with notes on the reality vid series, and he pores over every word.
Justus and Harriet are on the couch looking at a holographic map of Seattle on an oversized tablet, likely keeping an eye out for any potential incidents of violence on the streets.
"Hard to believe there was a time that trouble was stirring in one corner of the city or another at all times," I say, sitting next to Harriet.
"There's hardly anyone left to cause trouble," Justus says.
"No Throwbacks causing trouble," Harriet corrects him. "I'm sure there are plenty of Evolved wreaking havoc, but they aren't doing the kinds of things that show up on police scanners."
The heavy door at the entrance to the Bunker swings open, and my parents burst in, aglow with triumph. My eyes widen when Aft climbs in after them, equally triumphant. He hasn't been down here since he told us that he wanted nothing to do with our team of rebels.
The chatter inside the Bunker quiets when Aft clears his voice. I need to figure out how he manages that trick.
Everyone, including Mom and Dad, turns to Aft expectantly, and his face splits into a wide grin. "The judge ruled in our favor. It's legal throughout all of Washington State for any willing Throwback to use the Annex to have their chip disabled."
Harriet stands up. "Say that again?"
"We won!" Mom exclaims, her eyes filling up with happy tears.
The room explodes with chatter, and Aft is swarmed as everyone peppers him with questions.
"I don't believe it," Harriet says, and I'm not sure I've ever seen her more stunned. "That judge is Evolved. And he ruled in our favor."
"Not all Evolved are complete assholes, remember?" Justus teases her.
"I have to call Mason!"
I can imagine the look on Nic's face if he were here right now. He was always so skeptical about whether someone Evolved would do what's right if it didn't benefit them, but I think he'd be glad to be wrong.
I make my way to Mom and Dad and give them a hug. Their faces light up with surprise, and I feel a familiar twinge of guilt. I should do this more often, while I'm still around to do it.
"I'm so proud of you guys. Having your voices backing Aft's case made a real difference."
Once, giving my parents this kind of appreciation would have stuck in the back of my throat. We've come such a long way.
Now even Dad is tearing up. "The best day of my life was when you were put into my arms for the first time, Joan. But today is a close second."
It hurts to know that all their joy will turn to fear and despair when they learn about what Lexi has done to me. Next to me, Justus's eyes meet mine, and I can tell he knows what I'm thinking. He's always been able to see inside my head—sometimes better than I can.
"Not yet," I whisper to him.
Delivering bad news can always wait.
~ ~ ~
I join Addie and my parents for dinner that night in one of Aft's safe houses. For the first hour, we just celebrate. Mom and Dad regale me with the twists and turns of the case, and how the judge was finally convinced that it would be unlawful to allow Strand to have the power to deliver torture or death to Throwbacks through the chip in their brains.
But all day a headache has been building, and when I brush my teeth after dinner my gums bleed, turning my toothbrush red. By the time I'm in my pajamas, ready to sleep the night at my parents' place, my whole body is wracked with shivers.
I can't put off telling them about H2IV any longer. Rather than show them the footage of Lexi stabbing me with the serum, I quietly explain what happened, and then hold mom while she cries.
Dad tries to keep it together, but eventually rushes out of the room so that I won't see him fall apart. Mom goes after him, leaving me with Addie.
Addie wraps me in a warm blanket and rests my head in her lap. For a long time, we say nothing. She runs her fingers through my hair like she always did when I was a kid.
My shivers gradually ease, and now I'm mostly just tired.
"Is Strand still hitting you with headaches, on top of the H2IV?" Addie asks.
I shake my head. "Marie created a gel that blocks the signal to my chip, so Strand can't send me headaches as long as I reapply it every day."
"You should have it disabled, like the rest of us."
"I'll think about it," I say, like I always do. But we both know that I won't have my chip destroyed. Without it, I can't control the Mind Manipulator, a powerful tool that is one of the few advantages that we still have.
"Nic would agree with me," Addie says softly. She's the only one who says his name anymore.
"He always was too bossy," I say, surprised by how good it feels to talk about him. "And he had an opinion about everything."
"I seem to remember he had an opinion about you, too. A rather high one. So, he must have been smart, even if he was bossy."
"He was."
"I wonder what he would make of all this," Addie says, and her fingers tremble in my hair. "He would be frantic."
"It will be okay, Addie," I murmur. "Lexi wants something from me. She's not going to let me die."
"We won't leave your life up to her," Addie promises with the quiet strength that I've always been able to rely on. "The Emerald City News is putting me undercover at Strand to get insider information on how many people Strand has been secretly retiring. I'll find enough information to force Lexi to give you the formula for the serum that will keep you healthy."
I sit up in surprise. "They're sending you undercover? That's way too dangerous!"
"No more dangerous than what you did when you were a part of Strand's promotional vid."
"That was totally different."
"You are an adult who took a risk with the hopes of doing something good. I am doing the same. And in my case, I trust the editor of the Emerald."
Tears spring to my eyes and I remember who that editor is. Elizabeth's Uncle Walt. "I thought the paper was afraid of making waves with the Evolved community."
"Since Walt's niece was killed, he's taken a stronger stance. I'm a part of changing the paper into something that will fight for what's right."
"I want that for you, Addie. But can spying on Strand really be safe?"
"We've established the perfect cover story. I'm one of the most common clone types, so it will be impossible for them to identify me by my DNA. I've got paperwork proving I'm Sallie Jean Moll that will pass even the most stringent background checks. And they have a plan to extract me if something goes wrong. Which is more than you had, curious Joan, and you never would have let anyone stop you. Even me."
Her words shut me up. Addie is a far wiser person than I will ever be. I trusted Crew, and my work at Strand ended up getting people killed. Her work will only do good.
"You're right," I admit. "I'm sorry. It's terrifying to imagine you in that nest of vipers."
Addie's grin when she replies is wide. "Ah, but I, too, have teeth."