AND I HEAR MY HEART BREAKING TONIGHT,
I HEAR MY HEART BREAKING TONIGHT.
not proofread
1.9k words
𝐅𝐄𝐁𝐑𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐘 𝟖𝐓𝐇
my legs were killing me.
to nobody's surprise, having two grown men dead asleep on your legs for 8 hours actully hurts. i sighed softly and massaged my thigh. i looked at the clock on the teacher's desk, secretly happy that it was going to be lunch soon.
the bell soon rang, and i decided i'd meet up with nagi and reo in their class. on my way there, i saw a girl talking to nagi. hiding behind the corner, i watched as the girl held onto his arm, and how he didn't push her off.
i decided i'd skip out on lunch today, my appetite was gone. i clasped my hands together and walked into my next class, which was thankfully empty.
i felt horrible for feeling jealous. it's not like he likes me, anyway. i tried to push the churning feeling in my stomach away, and just played random games on my phone after putting it on dnd.
i ended up leaving school early, much to shiloh's dismay. i texted kylo, asking if he could come pick me up, and to my surprise, he said yes. unfortunately though, this was one of the 4 classes i had with nagi and reo, who, at first i thought didn't care. but my 300 notifications said otherwise.
i was waiting patiently for the office to call me down, when i heard soft laughing from behind me. i didn't need to look to see it was nagi and the other girl.
thankfully, i didnt have to wait long, as my name was already being called down. i was out of the classroom in 3 seconds tops.
i knew i was overreacting, im more than self aware. but it hurt, bad. figuratively and literally. one day he's cuddling me, talking about how soft my skin is, and now he's all over another girl? at the end of the day, it's not my problem, it's nagi's life.
i set my things in the back of kylo's car, hopping into the passenger seat. "what happened?" my brother asked, monotonous. i threw my head back, letting out a dramatic sigh.
"just, stressed." i breathed out, just barely noticing him glance at me for a moment. "well, you mind picking up miki while i go pick up a package from the post office, do you?" he asked, turning down the radio. "yeah, haven't seen her in like, 2 days anyway." i said, forgetting about nagi and the girl.
kylo dropped me off, and i waited for miki to find me. "nee-san!!" she shrilled, running towards me with her arms out. "hey, miki. you miss me?" i said, smiling as i picked her up off the ground. "mhm!! nii-chan got boring to be around." she whined, laying her head on my shoulder.
i laughed, "both of them?" i asked, looking at her. "yes!! they're so meann!" she exclaimed, throwing her hands around my neck.
we sat down by the pickup area, and she bombarded me with questions. "where were you? who were you with? did you guys go see kitties? can we get a kitty?" and literally anything else her little mind can think of. about 2-3 minutes later, kylo came back, and we got in his car.
"nee-san?" miki asked from the back seat. "yeah? what's up?" i spoke, turning to look at her. "can we pleeassseee get a kittyy?" she pleaded. i deadpanned, but still looked at kylo for approval nonetheless.
"well..." he paused, glancing at miki through the rearview mirror for a second. "i guess it wouldnt hurt—" "YAYY!" "but. even though i'm usually the one at home, you three have to take care of it too. and we're not, and may i repeat that, NOT, getting a sphynx, or any furless cat for that matter. do i make myself clear?"
"yes, kylo. now let's hurry up, gosh." i said, playfully rolling my eyes. it took us about 30 minutes to get to the shelter, and in those 30 minutes, kylo kept asking me about nagi.
"do you like him? becuase you're getting mad defensive." he said, parking the car. "you know what.." i spoke lowly, before shoving him in jest. "wow okay." i picked up miki from the back seat, and carried her into the shelter.
we looked around for a bit, until two caught our eyes. "nee-san, what about that one?" miki said, pointing at a turkish angora, and a maine coon. "a maine coon..? miki, let's just go with the turkish angora, okay?" i said, sweatdropping at the sight of the big cat.
"awww, why cant we get both?" she whined, motioning for me to put her down so she could inspect them. "miki. the cat is literally twice the size of you." kylo deadpanned, watching as she pet the turkish angora.
"can we get this one?" she asked, turning and smiling at us. kylo looked at me, leaning down to my height. "you do know you and i will probably be the main two taking care of the thing, right?" he whispered, causing me to pinch the bridge of my nose. "yeah, i don't really care. not like i do anything after school, anyway." i said before calling over a worker to grab the cat.
kylo wasn't wrong. after the first 5 minutes of having the thing, she was gazing out the window with exhaustion. the cat, whom we havent named yet, was currently asleep in my lap. upon further inspection, he kinda reminded me of nagi. i sighed, finally deciding to look at my phone.
i frowned the instant i opened instagram. when my feed loaded in, i saw a picture of nagi, reo and the girl from earlier. me, being the extremely sensitive person i am, deleted instagram. 🤗
i let my head hit the window, watching the cars pass by. the sun was setting now, and we were only just getting back home from buying essentials for the cat.
when we got home, shiloh was on the couch watching some soccer match. "what the fuck is that?" shiloh asked, pointing at the sleeping creature in my arms. "it's my new cat. yes, mine, because i know i'm the only one who'll pay attention to the thing. exhibit a." i said, pointing at miki who was already dragging herself to her room.
shiloh scoffed and turned around, paying attention to his game. "oh yeah, some rich kid was wondering where you were? i dont care if you're getting your bread, but please keep your short eyebrow friends away from me. thank you." he said, putting his legs on the coffee table. "ok, man." i said, walking into my room and putting the cat down on my bed. he'd woken up a bit ago, and was now sniffing around, getting to know the area.
i took a quick shower, and was now putting together a makeshift plushie bed for gojo. yes, gojo. you read that right. anyway, i put a small crocheted blanket over the top, only for him to crawl in my lap. i played with him for a bit before i got a phone call.
i looked at my phone, only to see it was nagi. i begrudgingly picked up my phone, answering the call. "what?" i asked, with a bit of additude. "..where'd you go? i missed you"
...
am i fucking delusional? "i uh— fuck, ow!" i hissed, looking at gojo as he clawed the skin on my thigh. what the fuck was up with my thighs lately? "y/n, are you okay? was that a meow?" nagi asked, pausing whatever game he playing in the background. "um, no. that was gojo. wait-yes it was a cat, but it was gojo." i stammered, pulling gojo off of me. "when did you get a cat..?" nagi mumbled. and for a second, i could almost hear a break in his voice.
i rolled my eyes. why was he suddenly so interested now? "today. why?" i breathed out, laying down, gojo taking camp on my stomach."oh.. no reason." he said, pausing for a moment. "can i come over? please? you and your bed are comfy." he asked, causing my jaw to drop in shock. "excuse me? whatever, nagi, sure." i sighed, rolling my eyes.
i didn't know how to feel. at all. yes, a part of me was upset with nagi, or more so my feelings for nagi. but another part of me couldnt stay upset. "...why would you ever name your cat gojo.." nagi mumbled, watching the cat explore my room.
"um. cuz he looks like gojo?"
"why not name him after me?"
"shut the fuck up?"
nagi and i just stared at eachother for a moment, before his phone went off. for some reason, he was extremely engrossed in whatever he was doing. "what was that?" i questioned, patting my leg for gojo to climb up on. "oh, 's just naomi.." nagi breathed out, not even bothering to look up. when he said this, i felt my heart break into tiny little pieces. "oh.." i whispered, suddenly more interested in a staring contest with gojo.
i leaned back on my headboard, looking at how engulfed nagi was in his conversation with naomi. frowning, i cupped gojo's face, squishing his face around. nagi scooted up next to me, and laid his head on my arm. "how come you dont do that to me?" he asked, looking at gojo.
i raised a brow. "what do you mean?" i sighed, looking at the boy. "do that to me." nagi ordered, a pout forming on his face. 'dawg what the fuck..' i opened my mouth, then closed it. "fine, dumbass. gosh, come here." i gave in, softly picking up gojo and setting him on the opposite side of the bed, much to his dismay.
nagi laid his head on my chest and looked up at me expectantly. i sighed, and cupped his face with my hands. "nagi, you're 6'3. you cannot be laying on me like this." i said, brushing his bangs out of his face.
nagi frowned, and shoved his face into my shirt. i widened my eyes at the boy, staring at him in disbelief. "y'r gonna spend more time with gojo than me..'s not fair." he said, words muffled by my shirt. this was so not fair.
nagi and i ended up watching the anime adaptation of 'Hell's Paradise'. (dont be fooled i haven't watched it yet) or well, i was. nagi, of course fell asleep. i looked down at the boy and sighed, softly playing with his hair.
i reflected on my feelings for him. my mind was telling me that i should just get over it, he has somebody now, and there's not really anything i can do about it. but my heart, fuck, my heart was telling me that he was all i needed.
i turned off the tv, and scooted against the wall, hearing gojo meow, annoyed at having to move. "sorry, gojo." i whispered at him, getting a mew in response.
nagi squeezed me a little tighter, snoring softly. i pet his hair, as much as i could without waking him. "goodnight nagi, i love you." i whispered softly, not being confident that i'd ever be able to say that to him ever again. i held back petty tears and closed my eyes, letting sleep consume me.