"Why are the lights still on in the dining hall?" the young worker ran a hand through her hair and gazed back down the long hallway.
"Bailee," one of the nurses rolled her eyes and shook her head. "She's not allowed to leave until she finishes what's on her plate."
Camila nodded, biting her lip. Bailee had been at the treatment center the longest. By now, it was as if most of the nurses had given up on her. But not Camila.
"I'll see what I can do," Camila nodded once, pushing the door open and exiting the nurses station.
Five years ago, Fifth Harmony had split. Camila had been heartbroken. Despite her parent's disapproval, Camila had bought her own apartment in California. The last thing she wanted was to go back to Miami.
She'd tried to contact Lauren. Hell, she'd done everything she could to get the green eyed girl to talk to her. But no matter how hard she tried, she was always met with absolute silence on the other girl's end.
She had no other choice but to give up. It seemed as if everyone was trying to push her to go back to the hospital, but Camila refused.
And then, almost as if it was magic, everything clicked for her. She wanted to get better. Camila soon realized that when she took her recovery into her own hands, she could make progress.
So she painted her apartment in bright colors, adopted a cat named Presley, started playing guitar again, and even began seeing a nutritionist. But most importantly, she began going to college. And now, five years later, she found herself working in the same rehabilitation center where she had spent multiple weeks as a patient.
Anorexia was still a struggle for hers. But Camila discovered her love of cooking, which contributed immensely to her recovery. After going completely vegan, the brown eyed girl enjoyed the challenge of inventing new meals.
That didn't mean she was 100% better. But she was getting there. Working with the girls in the center demanded a lot of energy, and Camila found herself eating more than she had in a long time just to keep up with them.
She was satisfied with her life. It wasn't perfect, it was a little messy, but it was hers. Camila only wished that she could tie up the loose ends of her past, though.
The nurse opened the dining hall door slowly, giving the girl in the corner a soft smile. "What're you still doing in here, kiddo?" Camila asked softly, walking over to the table.
"I'm not hungry," Bailee sighed and pushed the tray away from her. Camila furrowed her eyebrows and sat down.
"You didn't eat lunch either," Camila glanced down at the girl's tray. "Have you even tried it?"
Bailee shook her head, crinkling her nose. Camila giggled and looked down at the tray. "Hospital food sucks, eh?" Camila raised an eyebrow. Surprised, Bailee looked up.
"One time, they gave me spaghetti and meatballs, and it stayed stuck to the tray even if you turned it upside down," Camila giggled, drumming her fingers against the table.
"You've been in one of these places too?" Bailee's eyes flickered with curiosity. Camila nodded.
"I sat in this very spot when I was 17," she smiled sadly and stood up, picking up the girl's tray and bringing it over to the counter in the corner of the room. "So thankfully, I sympathize with your distaste for food that tastes like cardboard." Bailee's eyes widened when Camila tossed the tray in the trash. The nurse walked over to the staff refrigerator, unlocking it and pulling out a small glad container.
"I was gonna save this for a late night snack," Camila laughed softly, sitting back down at the table and setting the container in front of Bailee. "But I think you'll appreciate it more than I will."
"What is it?" Bailee raised her eyebrows, popping the lid off and poking the food with her fork.
"Quinoa salad," Camila tapped the side of the container. "Trust me, it's amazing. It's one of my favorites." She saw the hesitation in Bailee's features and sighed softly.
"Food isn't your enemy, Bay," she whispered, reaching out and squeezing the smaller girl's hand. "It's what keeps you alive. And I want you to stay that way."
Bailee nodded softly, bringing a small portion of food up to her mouth and taking a bite. Camila gave her a supportive smile and stood up.
"I'm proud of you, y'know," Camila added. "When you first came here, you wouldn't even talk to me, remember?"
"My parents think I'm not gonna get better," Bailee mumbled, slowly taking another bite. Camila shook her head.
"Baby steps still move you forward, Bay, don't forget that," Camila said softly. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone, sliding it across the table in front of the girl.
"Don't tell anyone I let you use it. But I know how badly you want to call your brother," she smirked. Bailee's face lit up.
"I'll get it back from you in the morning. Do whatever you want, just don't get caught," Camila giggled and nudged the smaller girl playfully.
"Thank you," Bailee grabbed Camila's hand and pulled her into the hug. "Thank you for believing in me."
"I always will," Camila smiled, realizing that this was why she had chosen this job. For these moments. "Be a good friend to Sierra tomorrow, okay? She has a family visit, and we all know how those go." Bailee nodded.
"Cabello, they need you downstairs," the door opened and Bailee quickly moved to hide Camila's phone. Camila nodded, thanking the nurse at the door and giving Bailee one last goodbye before slipping out of the room.
The center she worked at was part of a larger hospital. Downstairs, there was a small gift shop and pharmacy. Occasionally, the nurses on Camila's floor would be called down to work in the pharmacy. Apparently tonight was her turn.
"Andy says you just need to fill prescriptions," one of the other nurses explained to Camila as she grabbed her purse. "They don't get many customers after dinnertime."
"I can handle that," Camila gave the nurse a soft smile and slung her purse over her shoulder. She used her key card to exit the eating disorder ward, and entered the elevator to begin her descent downstairs.
As the elevator moved slowly, Camila turned to examine herself in the mirror. She bit her lip, turning to the side slightly and tracing her eyes up and down her body. A few years ago, she would be absolutely disgusted with her appearance. But she had realized that her mind was more important than her body.
She unlocked the employee entrance to the pharmacy and flicked on the lights. The room was enveloped in white light and she blinked her eyes a few times to let her pupils adjust. This was her least favorite part of the job. She didn't like dealing with medicine.
Camila set her purse down and walked over to the computer, entering the employee password and scrolling through a list of medications that needed to be filled.
She printed out a label, grabbing one of the small orange containers and moving to the back of the store. Carefully, she dispensed the right amount of the small blue pills into the container and sealed it off.
It was a medication for depression, she recognized the name. The part she didn't like about this job was wondering about who she was giving the medication to. It tended to put her in a bad mood. Who was this person? And why were they on pills for depression?
She popped the container inside the designated paper bag and set it aside. This carried on for a while, as she slowly made her way down the alphabetized list.
Eventually, she developed such a system that she was practically in a trance. Check off the box for the previous prescription, scroll down to the next one, fill the container, seal it, and set it aside. It was muscle memory for her.
She took a break to glance at her phone. Only ten minutes until she could lock up and go home. With a thankful sigh, she scrolled down to the last prescription she'd be filling for the night.
Out of boredom, she tossed the orange container up and down as she waited for the label to print out. Once it did, she slapped it onto the plastic cylinder and took a quick glance at the medication she'd be needing to fill.
Her nose crinkled up when she realized it was a prescription for Temozolomide; a chemotherapy drug. Groaning, she set the container down and fished around in the drawers behind the counter until she found a set of gloves.
Camila slipped the rubber gloves over her hands and grabbed the container once more. She pulled her staff keys out of her pocket and shuffled into the back of the store, unlocking the heavy door and slipping inside the small room.
She was instantly met with the distasteful smell of the strong medicines. Camila didn't understand how someone could stand the smell, let alone ingest pills like these every day. She scanned the list of side effects and grimaced. Vomiting, Hair loss, Low blood counts, ect. Camila bit her lip.
As she carefully counted out the pills and dropped them into the container, she allowed her mind to wander. She wondered who these pills belonged to. She wondered how long they'd been sick for. Did them have someone to take care of them? Cancer scared her. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to think about something happier.
Once she filled the container, she quickly locked the room back up and made her way over to the computer. She screwed the lid onto the orange container and was just about to turn around to put it away just as the ding over the speakers indicated that someone had entered the store.
Camila didn't pay much attention to it. She slipped off her gloves and disappeared behind the rows of shelving in the nurse's station. Before she could put away the small container, though, she became aware of a pair of footsteps approaching the counter. She glanced at the clock, realizing she was supposed to close 5 minutes ago.
"We're closed!" she called from behind the shelves, biting her lip. She hated turning people away, but she could get in trouble for dispensing medications after hours. "You'll have to come back tomorrow," she added.
"I, uh, I don't think that's an option," a raspy voice sounded from behind the counter. Camila was met with an overwhelming sense of familiarity for some odd reason. "Can you please just check? My doctor was supposed to send it over. It's under the name Jauregui."
Jauregui.
Camila practically fell backwards, but she quickly regained her balance. Her heart started racing and she slowly stepped out from behind the counter. From the way Lauren's face drained of color, she assumed they were both shocked to see the other.
"Lauren?" she asked in disbelief. She studied the other girl. She was paler than she remembered. And smaller. Camila had to hold back a smile when she realized Lauren was still wearing the leather jacket she had favored so many years ago. She even dressed the same. From the shoes on her feet up to the gray beanie on her head.
"Camila?" the other girl laughed nervously and shook her head. "I can't believe it's you," she half-whispered, scanning the other girl up and down.
"I... How are y—?"
"Mommy!" a small voice approached them. Camila's eyes widened as a small boy scrambled out from behind one of the shelves, holding up a packaged toy for Lauren to see. "Can I get this? His sword lights up!"
Lauren sent Camila an apologetic glance before kneeling down next to the little boy.
"I think we've got enough treats for today, kiddo. You got ice cream this morning, remember?" she ruffled the boy's hair. Camila giggled softly to herself when she realized the child had a leather jacket that matched Lauren's.
"Yeah, but this is evenbetter than ice cream," the smaller boy turned the box over and pointed to the pictures on the back. "See?"
"I know, baby, but I just don't have the money with me right now," Lauren sighed and shook her head.
"Oh, okay," the smaller boy looked disappointed, but Camila was surprised when he disappeared behind the aisle to put the toy back. Lauren stood back up and turned back to Camila.
"Who was that?" Camila blurted out, not realizing what she had said. Lauren was surprised by her assertiveness.
"Harley," Lauren replied, glancing back at the small boy ran back over empty handed. "My son."
Camila nearly choked on thin air, but luckily she hid her surprise. In a random burst of courage, she placed her palms on the counter and leaned down to smile at the smaller boy.
"Hey, Harley, how about you go grab that toy you wanted?" she smiled softly. "It's on me," she added, glancing up at Lauren with nervousness flickering in her eyes. Maybe this was going too far. But it was too late, the small boy was already laughing excitedly and running back to the toy aisle.
"You don't have to do th—," Lauren began, but Camila shook her head to cut her off.
"I know," she gave Lauren a small smile. "I wanted to."
"Oh..." Lauren looked down at her shoes. "Well, thank you," she smiled nervously and looked back up. Camila had changed a lot in five years. Lauren could tell she was a lot healthier just by looking at her. She wanted nothing more than to ask how she was doing, but she also knew that wasn't proper conversation after being reunited after 5 years.
"Uh, my prescription?" she asked nervously, glancing at the computer.
"Oh, yeah, r-right," Camila laughed anxiously and quickly typed in the girl's last name. She scanned the list until she found Lauren, squinting so she could read the small print. Temozolomide.
Temozolomide.
Camila's eyes instantly flickered down to the orange container in her hands. She practically felt her heart drop into her chest. Quickly, she restarted the whole search, praying that she had made some sort of mistake.
But of course, Lauren's name was right next to the name of medication in her hand. The cancer medication. Camila swallowed the lump in her throat and slowly looked up at Lauren.
Both girls knew by the look in their eyes that they were both well aware. Camila glanced down at the orange container and took a deep breath. This wasn't a dream.
"You...?" Camila looked up slowly, but was interrupted when Harley came running and tossed his beloved toy onto the counter, smiling widely.
"Look, lady, he lights up!" the smaller boy exclaimed, literally climbing on top of the counter to show the toy to Camila. Lauren jumped forward to grab him, but Camila dismissed his action with a wave of her hand.
"He does?" Camila raised her eyebrows, pretending to study the box intently. "Geez, you've got a good eye for toys, don't you?"
"I do," Harley smiled proudly and handed the toy to Camila. She scanned it and handed it back to him, giving Lauren a soft smile.
"C'mere, you little brat," Lauren teased, grabbing her son off of the counter and positioning him on her hip. He was too distracted by opening his toy to care.
Camila took a deep breath and slowly placed the orange container into a bag, stapling it shut. Her eyes landed on the list of side effects again. Without realizing it, she gazed up at Lauren. Had the beanie been for other purposes? Camila had to tear her eyes away from the older girl to print out the receipt.
Slowly, Camila extended her hand forward to give the medicine to Lauren. The green eyed girl took it gently. She practically shoved it into her purse and then looked up at Camila, giving her a sad smile.
"I guess we're all weak in more ways then one," Lauren whispered, and just for a second, Camila swore she saw a glimpse of the girl she had loved many years ago.
—
a/n: and there you have it! hopefully this wasn't too painful for you. see if you can catch some of the small connections i added in this chapter ;) have a great day bbies, and thank you so so so so much for the continued support of this fic. i appreciate each and every one of you endlessly.
- lena (@lenajfc on twitter, txrches on tumblr)