The full moon glows bright in the midnight sky when I slip out of bed. I wanted nothing more than to hold Raelle and fall back to sleep, but my brain wouldn't quiet. Too much can go wrong during our journey to Sibyl. Not to mention that we don't know where our findings will lead us next. Will we return to Pliris empty-handed, or will we be on the hunt for the legendary Cruel King's Stone? Either way, I can't rest with so many possibilities and no clear course of action.
Treading lightly through the room, I pull on my pants and shirt. The last thing I want to do is wake Raelle when we have a long day ahead of us. I worry the journey to Sibyl will be hard on her. Weeks of being locked away in the treetops of Allaji took its toll on her body. She needs these last peaceful moments. I take the Eppori and Poseda from the box on my dresser and put them in my pockets. With my boots and jacket in hand, I kiss her on the forehead and ease out of the room. After I finish getting dressed, I head down to the corridor to where to officers of the king's guard have offices. I tap two knuckles against Leif's door and wait.
Leif isn't technically part of the guard, but his ability to solve problems and strategize makes him too valuable to let go. I created a job for him—a special position as a strategist. His first assignment was finding Raelle and the Cyffreds. With one half of the job complete, he is still diligently working to figure out the other. He's close to finding them, and I hope his talent served him well throughout the night.
Wel opens the door with a tired but cheerful smile. "Your Majesty," he says, stepping aside with a sweeping bow.
I like Wel. Despite the tragedy he has faced on the battlefield, he still has an air of innocence about him. He was one of my best sergeants in the army, respected and liked by his soldiers. He's a good match for Leif, complementing his carefree attitude and taking swings at his ego when he needs to be brought down a couple of pegs. Wel is the best kind of person and exactly what Leif needs.
I step into the office to find Leif and Abrum hunched over the map. Both men are disheveled, with their hair mussed and their tunics wrinkled and rolled to their elbows. A hint of guilt punches me in the gut. I was losing myself in Raelle while they have been working to save all of us. I'm here now, and I'm ready to help.
"How's it going?" I ask, moving in next to Abrum.
"Good. We located the general area of the map," Leif says, taking a mug of steaming liquid from Wel.
I look over the terrain. As general of the army, I spent hours milling over maps and studying battles of the past. It was my job to not only know Pliris' layout but other kingdoms as well. Nothing stands out to me—not a body of water or a mountain range. I'm not sure this place exists anywhere but on this map.
"Where do you think this is?"
"The northern mountains of Sibyl," Abrum states, running his palm down his face.
It's good news and bad. Sibyl is the smallest of all the kingdoms, so getting to this place shouldn't be much of a detour. The bad news is that the mountains are cold, and the climb is rigorous. It's common to hear stories of over-confident hikers never coming home after trying to reach the summit. I've trained for years to build my endurance, and I wouldn't think of trying the feat. If that stone is at the top, Raelle and Ulric will never make it.
I push away from the desk and sink into the leather chair behind me. My fingers rub my temple, massaging away the impending headache. I have to consider if the risk to my parah and friends is worth it. Like those who looked for the stone before us, we could turn up empty-handed. Or even worse... dead. Then again, if we don't try, we'll die anyway and so will thousands of others. I have no choice. Searching for the Cruel King's Stone is better than planning a war we can't win.
Abrum sits in the chair beside me, and Leif takes the one behind his desk with Wel rubbing his shoulder. We sit in silence for minutes. I have no doubt that each man in this room is focused on a single subject. Raelle. This isn't a soldier we are sending to war. She is a friend, a lover, a first-born daughter. Our initial reaction is to protect her. It doesn't seem right that we are guiding her on a mission that might be more than she can handle.
"I trust you to keep her safe, Kyron."
I lift my head and meet Abrum's worried gaze. His connection with each of his children is special, but I see that extra spark he holds for Raelle—the smile he can't hide when she speaks and the grip he has on her when they hug. She hangs the moon and stars in his world. He fights for his entire family, but she was once his queen. He raised her to serve her, to bend to her will, to bleed for her cause. I understand the feeling all too well.
Abrum has entrusted me with more than Raelle's physical well-being. He gave me his blessing to be her partner, the person she can always rely on. It is my honor to hold her heart and lend her my strength when she needs it. I don't take that responsibility lightly. "I'll protect her until my dying breath," I say.
He nods and the lines in his face grow deeper. "I need you to come home as well."
"I know."
It's always been hard for me to except Abrum's love for me. He is the only father I truly remember. My biological father lives as blurry memories in my head. The most vivid picture I have of him is the day I drained the life-force from his body. My young world shattered with that one act, and I believed myself unlovable.
Abrum knew my sins, knew that I was damaged, and he never thought twice about treating me as his son. He taught me everything I needed to know to be a good man. I didn't always meet his expectations, but his love for me never faltered. Not even when I betrayed his trust and broke his daughter's heart. I'll never forget the disappointment I saw on his face before he entered the catacombs to escape my mother. It almost broke me as much as hurting Raelle. I promised myself if I ever had the chance to redeem myself in his eyes, I wouldn't let him down again.
"Everyone will return in one piece. I promise," I say, rising from the chair.
Leif roles the map and hands it to me. "I wish I could do more. If I had more time—"
"Don't," I say, not wanting him to spiral down a hole of if only. "You gave us a direction, a starting point. You did good."
He rubs the back of his neck and releases a long breath. "I hope this works. Not just for the kingdom, but for you and Raelle. You will never understand how grateful I am that she found you. I could never give her what she deserves, but you can."
My chest swells with emotion. Leif grew up believing he would share a life with Raelle. He saw her through the trials of a demanding childhood. While other children were playing, she was learning to be a queen, and he stood by her side. He adores her and connects with her in a way that is all their own. It was once his job to bring happiness and normalcy into her life. I'm awestruck to know he believes I can be that for her now.
"Thank you, Leif, for everything you've done," I say, holding out my hand.
"You're welcome."
We shake hands before I turn to Wel. "Thank you for supporting him. I know you're the reason he had the strength not to give up."
Wel bows his head. "It was my honor."
Abrum walks with me to the door. He reaches for the doorknob and pauses. We stand face to face, the respect we have for one another lingering between us. "I look forward to the day when you are officially a part of my family. You are as special to me as any of my blood children."
"I look forward to that day as well," I say, fighting past the lump in my throat.
He pulls me into his arms and hugs me with a fierceness unlike anything I've ever felt. My body relaxes in his hold, and I wrap my arms around him. The security I felt with him as a child returns. I let the warmth of it wash over me and bask in the feeling.
My life before Abrum wasn't all brutality and neglect. I had a father who loved me the way a father should. He nurtured me, saw me, heard me. The day my mother placed the Possada in my hand, I didn't understand what I was doing. But my father did. He loved me as I drained him of his gift, showing me that he forgave me even as I killed him. Abrum is a continuation of that love.
With two firm pats to my back, Abrum moves back and holds me in place by my biceps. "May the Statera keep you safe and grant you a swift journey, son."
I bow my head with the same reverence I once showed Micah, and say, "Thank you, sir."
I leave Leif's office and find myself wandering the halls of the palace. The opulent decor and endless corridors have never felt like home to me. It doesn't matter that my ancestors have roamed these halls for millenniums. All of this may be my birthright, but nothing about it puts me at peace.
And it appears I'm not the only one who's restless.
Greer stops on the other side of the hallway. Dark hair spikes out of her braid, and puffy, purple bags sit under her eyes. She's ditched her uniform for a sleeveless shirt that showcases her muscular arms, and a loose pair of pants, which sit low on her hips. She watches me as she brings a bottle of whiskey to her lips, taking a generous gulp.
She runs the back of her hand over her mouth and says, "Can't sleep."
I nod. "Same."
We meet each other in the middle of the long corridor, and she hands me the bottle. Like we've done this a million times, we move to opposite walls and slide down to the plush rug. We pass the bottle back and forth a couple of times, the alcohol burning down our throats, distracting us from the thoughts weighing heavy on our souls.
"You could be using your last free moments better. You have a beautiful girl warming your bed," Greer says, her voice raspy.
I tick my head to the side and take another swig before handing the whiskey to her. "I couldn't bring myself to wake her just to ease my mind, and I felt useless just staring at the ceiling. I could say the same to you. This place is crawling with people who would like to get their mind off things for a few minutes."
"Can I be honest?"
The vulnerability in her tone is new. She has always been strength incarnate. When everything is falling apart, she is the one who takes charge to fix it. She doesn't hold back her thoughts or play nice. Her direct approach is what first attracted me to her. When others feared me, she spoke her mind. She was sometime brutal but always honest. It's jarring to see her as anything less than a resilient leader.
"I'm shocked you're asking. You've never asked for my approval before," I say.
She pulls her knees to her chest and swings the bottle like a pendulum in front of her. "I've never enjoyed fucking. It always felt like more work than it is worth. People with fragile egos and less than satisfactory performances. I'd rather get off by myself and call it a day."
"Well shit, that's pretty fucking honest," I say.
She shrugs and takes another drink. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm happy. I'm also worried as shit about this war, hence the hefty helping of whiskey, but I'm happy. My friends have my back. Every day I wake up to do a job I love. I've achieved all the goals I set for myself. I have no complaints. It's a good life."
I lean my head back against the wall and exhale. "You're right. It was a good life."
"But?"
"No but. It is more of an and."
"All right. And?" Greer says, rolling her wrist in a sign to continue.
"And I found something more. Raelle makes everything better. When friends go home and the job is done, she is the remaining good. I want to be a better me because of her. She deserves a man who adores her even in her worst moments. A king who treasures her so much that he wants to build a better kingdom for her. I'm far from perfect, but I try every day because it means everything to know she's proud to have me at her side."
Greer is no stranger to my deepest feelings. She's seen me at my worst, witnessed my heartache and shame. Not once has she judged me. She has picked me up from the ground, offered me a listening ear, and kicked my ass. Even at its worse, my world was bearable because of her friendship.
Greer crawls across the floor and sits next to me. "If no one has told you, then let me. You are a good king, Ky. And Elle is lucky to have your heart. You don't have to do anything more than be who you are."
I wrap my arm around her and pull her into my side. She rests her head on my shoulder, the rouge hairs on the top of her head tickling my cheek. I don't brush them away, instead I lean in closer. This is what I was searching for tonight—someone to sit with me.
"I couldn't have chosen a better best friend," I whisper.
"Me either."
We sit in the hallway until the orange hue of dawn sits low in the dark sky and the bottle of whiskey is half gone.