Anu
I knew that somehow I would end up running into Sidharth. He's been away for eight years, vanished from New York and suddenly turns up on a fine day in June as the CEO of Rai Consolidated, his family-owned multibillion-dollar company. His promises of keeping in contact after he went off to college fell short when he stopped replying to text messages, ignoring my phone calls and completely freezing me out of his life. So, I was in no mood to reconcile.
His name alone carries power and popularity so unfortunately for me I am bound to run into my ex-boyfriend somewhere or the other. The summer usually ends with three major events with a crowd gathering from masses all over the country. The first being the charity auction hosted at the Mandarin Oriental where top fortunate-five-hundred companies come together and select a charity to support. The second is the gala hosted at The Plaza hotel by my father for his company, colleagues, and family. The third event is the weekend of Labor Day in The Hamptons to end off the warm weather.
Sidharth has been absent from all of these events for countless years now but with his reappearance into our town, I'm sure as hell he will be in perfect attendance rubbing elbows with fellow corporate people and tossing back scotch like clockwork. I dreaded having to see him. The awkward conversation of exchanging pleasantries, acting like we're still friends, and somehow act like the memories we shared with each other didn't even exist was just too exhausting to think about much less actually do.
I had dance class today. During the summer Saroj kaki, my dance teacher, usually gives the girls a break from the strict Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday from four to six schedule. The grueling commitment to dancing under her instruction is something I've been doing since I was four years old. From since I could comprehend what a Taal was I have been on the dance floor. Now I'm her dedicated assistant of teaching the senior group of dancers, which consists of mostly teenage girls in high school.
The dance studio was in midtown and from my parents' house in Scarsdale a good forty-five-minute drive and in this hour of the day an extra fifteen minutes for traffic. Pulling up to the curb I jump out my car and slip money into the parking meter. I have a parking spot reserved in the parking garage down the block but I'm already running late.
I don't wait on the elevators I scale the steps two, three at a time climbing up to the seventh floor of the building. The chime of my paayal echoes in the stairwell as I jump from one step to next clutching the strap of my side satchel to my chest as it bounces against my hip. I hate being late. Pushing the heavy metal door that leads to the hallway of the floor I run across the shiny white tile floor with my flip-flop flopping. Darting through the wooden door of the studio with haste the entire room falls silent as I let out my heavy pants for breath.
"Oh good you're here! I thought we would be without you. Aren't you supposed to be with that boyfriend of yours?" Saroj kaki walks up to me placing a tender hand on my shoulder holding a bottle of water in the next. Right, I haven't really broken the news yet to her.
"I-uh-I missed too many lessons already. I couldn't miss this one," I tell her avoiding her dark brown eyes. The woman knows me more than I know myself sometimes. For sure she'll see through my bluff and start questioning me.
"It's our slow season Panna. The girls just come here to meet up and hang out. You know you won't get them to start a new routine until the end of summer," she calls me Panna it means emerald in Hindi. The first time she saw me when I was four she's called me that. Eyes like precious emeralds she said. Even much older now I still remember.
"I know but still they need to practice. A lot of holidays are coming up and that means invitations to functions. What will they do then? Dance on a whim?" I snap mostly at myself for rushing here for absolutely no reason.
"Since when are you for practiced steps and routine? Huh? You're the one who always dances how she pleases at the moment," she chuckles at my hypocrisy. She warmly throws an arm around my shoulders squeezing me tightly for reassurance. "Whatever it is that's bothering you, it will pass. Everything in life happens for a reason, just as every step you take dancing leads you the next, and the one after that, making, in the end, a beautiful piece of art, so does life, this is just one step that will lead you to your precious piece of art,"
"You're a romantic moron kaki," I chuckle returning her hug bracing my head against her as we walk to the rest of the girls. Her arm still providing me warm comfort as we approach the girls.
"Aren't we all? It's all we have in this world, dreaming of romance because all men are idiots and don't know anything about wooing a woman," we both break out into laughter gaining the attention of the girls.
All we did for the next two hours was talk. We sat around the dance floor dressed in our leggings, t-shirts, and paayal gossiping, hearing the dirty details of summer flings and the vomit worthy summer romances. Being the oldest one here I had to hold back myself from imparting my wisdom on these youthful ladies. They are young and dreamy eyed-like I always was, waiting for the right guy to come along to give themselves up to and live happily ever after. Reality is life is never that simple and love like that is hard to find. But I indulged in their innocence hoping it never leaves them.
I passed on going to dinner with the rest of the senior girls and Saroj kaki after they all started asking questions about Sidharth and me, and I would just dampen the mood with my sad break-up story and them giving me a pity party.
I wait until everyone leaves to turn on the surround system to classical tabla beats. This is the only place I dance, confined within the colorful walls draped in different colors of embroidered silk that looped together in the center of the roof. The last time I danced in front of a crowd was when I was sixteen years old ever since then I just taught the girls and went to functions watching from the sidelines.
The beats of the tabla echoes through the huge space of the studio, dhaa-din-te-naa, the chime of my paayal mimics the taal as my feet tap on the wooden floor and my arms move and flail in different positions and angles. I move all over the dance floor without a sense of time or reality. My mind zones in on the harsh beat spilling from the speakers and I'm lost in a blissful state of unmeasured steps, uncalculated moves, and peacefulness.
As the track ends I stand in the middle of the room regaining my breath, calming my heaving chest and tightening my black hair into the messy bun I had it in all day. The space around me is still vibrating with the energy reverberated from the speakers, the air is still buzzing and the nerves in my body are still on fire.
After closing up the studio knowing I won't be able to attend Saturday's class because of the charity auction I slide into the elevator taking it down to the lobby of the building. It's already dark outside as expected. The streetlight shines amber onto the sidewalk casting a safelight over my car as well. The headlights blink on as I approach my parked car.
"Is it really yours?" a male voice sounds from a few cars over.
"Yeah," I answer hesitantly clutching my phone in my hand ready to call for help if he turns out to be a creep.
"I never thought I would see one in real life. An Aston Martin DB9," he says the name of my car as if he couldn't believe it was right there in front of him. It was a graduation gift from my parents.
"Uh-thanks," I reply awkwardly not knowing what else to say.
"Sorry, I'm just amazed. Is it okay if I take a picture of it?" he asks coming up closer. He's a slender guy, his white t-shirt showing off just the right about of muscles on his chest, shoulders and arms.
"Yeah go for it," I chuckle stepping back so he can take the picture. He pulls out a smartphone from his cargo shorts and takes pictures from a few angles before turning around smiling at his phone.
"Thank you," he smiles revealing his soft dimples and twinkling brown eyes. The brown hair on his head flopping a bit as he scrolls through the pictures smiling.
"No problem," I return his smile and make my way to the driver's sides.
"Oh, I'm sorry I'm so caught up in the car. I'm Liam," he extends his arm over the hood of the car. I hesitantly shake his hand.
"Anuksha,"
"I-uh. Hope I didn't make you late for wherever you're going. Thanks for the pictures," he nods his head and walks off. As I open the door I see a burly man with blonde hair approach from down the sidewalk stopping a brief moment to stare down Liam before walking past me, smiling broadly. I look at the man walking off. I think I've seen him somewhere before I just don't know where. I shrug off the thought and climb into my car headed for home.
I walk right into the commotion of getting dinner ready. Maa is all over the kitchen stirring this pan and throwing in dashes of spices in that pan. Papa and Nima, surprisingly, are sitting by the island counter twiddling their phones between their fingers. I drop into the seat next to papa and he finally looks up from the screen of his phone and smiles at me.
"Oh Anu, come help me with the roti. That one won't learn to do anything," Maa says motioning her eyes towards a distracted Nima staring intently at her phone. I get up from the stool and gather the ingredients for the roti and start kneading the flour. As I'm about to finish Aryan pops into the kitchen sulking into the seat across from where I'm standing.
"No plans tonight?" dad asks him holding down a smirk.
"Not one! No calls, texts, not even a freaking e-mail!" he huffs sinking back in the stool crossing his arms across his chest.
"Guess girls finally saw what you were offering just wasn't enough," I tease biting down my laugh. That'll get him riled up.
"If that were true then- uh-,"
"Uh, uh? What?" I put my clean hand behind my ear sticking my ear out toward him.
"You know I'm not sorry I did your friends in high school," he bites out like the child that he truly is.
"Aryan," papa's deep reprimanding voice silences him.
"That's all he gets for being a man-whore, Aryan," Nima mocks sticking her tongue out in disgust at dad's discipline.
"He's older he knows what he's doing," dad says still looking at his phone. He's always on it, some business or the other that he's handling.
"Yeah right!" Nima and I both yell out laughing. Papa finally looks up from his phone.
"Let me rephrase, he can do what he pleases, his mistakes to learn from not mine. I raised you all with the skills you need to survive and make good choices if he doesn't make the right ones then so be it, he'll face the shit when it hits the fan," he shrugs.
"I'm right here you know," Aryan bends forward looking at dad squinting his eyes.
"That you are and rather a nuisance,"
"What'd I do?"
"Your lifestyle son isn't one to be proud of. Bedding woman doesn't have anything in it forming meaningful relationships does,"
"One to talk Rahul. If I remember correctly before we met you were quite the womanizer," maa chimes in smirking at him.
"That was Rajesh, not me. I was just in the vicinity of it," he readily defends.
"Oh, dad was a player back in the day, huh?" Aryan wiggles his eyebrows smirking at papa.
"I never was, I always had my eye on one girl, and one girl only," the knowing smile he shares with maa warms my heart. Even now I still want that, that deeply rooted connection with someone, the fluttery feeling you have when they're around. My parents have been married for twenty-something odd years and they've always been romantic with each other and most importantly they understand each other so well.
Dinner went on as usual with talks drifting from plans for the rest of the summer to the auction on Saturday. The auction has been running for quite a few years now and had yielded many successes when it comes to raising funds. The corporate heads that come together each year, donate items of high value to auction off to bidders, one hundred percent of the money earned is donated to the charity the board selects. This year the charity just happens to be Future of the World. Our main emphasis for the organization is education. From building schools to collecting school supplies Future of the World has gone into over thirty developing nations to help promote education as well as offer health care and nutrition.
With only two days left in the week, Saturday came around fast. Maa, as usual, did my shopping for the event. She's always had a love for fashion, scouring the boutiques, and department stores for the latest fashion trends. Maa didn't go after her passion for clothing instead she took the safe route and went to medical school and became a doctor, leaving behind her dream of being in the fashion business. She has an eye for what looks good on me, every time she picks out my dress it always fits me perfectly and this time she didn't disappoint.
Pulling the hem of the dark green-laced dress down at my mid-thigh I slide out the backseat of the car after maa and papa with Nima in tow. The press lines the entrance to the hotel as we walk to the glass doors leading into the lobby of the hotel. The event has a lot of high profile people in attendance and the press usually covers the highest bidder rather than the charity. A few of them shout for my father, as we walk he stops briefly addressing the charity and how it a special year being that I am the chairwoman of the organization. I avoid the cameras and smile walking straight ahead, not wanting to be interviewed.
A host leads us to the grand ballroom where the auction will be held. Guests are mingling around enjoying the cocktail hour before the main event starts. After, the auction lunch will be held in the adjoining room. I don't spot out anyone I know and am too lazy to start texting my friends so I head to my seat in the first row.
My eyes gaze around the room from the stage back to the people conversing in the hall behind the seating area. The huge floor to ceiling windows overlook Central Park and the busy traffic of Columbus Circle summer is in full swing beyond the glass wall of the ballroom.
People begin taking their seats and I look to my right at nametag placed on the back of the chair and immediately curse myself for not noticing it sooner and changing it with someone else. My finger tugs on my nametag ready to peel it off and stick Penelope where I'm sitting but I'm too late, her and Charlotte come up to me exchanging hugs and small pleasantries.
My attention is turned to Charlotte telling me about her plans for when she visits Haiti and the new school our charity built when a weight shifts in the seat next to me. I feel my stomach plunge into a deep pit at the realization of whom it is. I hide my face behind my loose hair that falls to the side hoping to avoid as much of anything to do with Sidharth.
The host takes his place at the podium hushing the large crowd of bidders. He welcomes everyone and explains the charity of choice before he welcomes the auctioneer to start the bids for the first item. I have yet to acknowledge Sid and Penelope and Char are definitely picking up on it as they both asked me what's wrong between biddings. I quickly dismissed their concern and turned my attention back to the auctioneer.
"How are you?" his deep baritone trickles in my ear, his hot breath fanning the side of my face and neck. I turn my attention away from the stage to him. He's immaculately dressed in a dark blue suit with his thick black hair styled back. His long legs stick out far onto the carpeted floor, as he practically has to slouch in the seat.
"I'm good, you?" I swallow the lump that formed in my throat and whisper back to him.
"Could be better," a sad smile parts his lips. I stare at him for a long moment not knowing what to say after his honest answer. His brown eyes twinkle in the radiant light of the room as he matches my gaze.
"How so?" I asked.
"Things aren't how I expected them to be," he sighs leaning back into his chair tilting his upper body toward me.
"Tell me about it,"sardonic chuckle gasps from my mouth as I try to pay attention to the auction.
"Guess we can't have what we always want,"
"And what is it that you want?" I ask mindlessly now focused on the way his suit pants rise a bit above his ankle revealing his socks as they rise from his shiny black leather shoes.
"You," his voice is bolder as it makes its way into my ear. I turn to him gaping as a gasp involuntarily leaves my mouth.
"And now presenting Anuksha Arora chairwoman of Future of Tomorrow," a loud applause breaks me from my trance of Sidharth's pink lips pressed into a thin line surrounded by stubble, and the way his brown eyes just drift off into darkness. I rise from my seat visibly nervous as I walk to the stage standing behind the podium.
"Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. First off I would like to thank those of you who donated the wonderful pieces that were auctioned off here today, without you this event wouldn't be possible. Before I start the bid for our feature item I would like to take a few minutes of your time," I swallow clearing my throat avoiding the gaze of the one man in the crowd that could cower me away.
"All of us here in attendance are fortunate people. Not by social status, reputation, or even wealth but fortunate because of opportunity. We have the opportunity to better ourselves, learn and break free of ignorance. Many in the world don't have that privilege but today you're all giving them a chance. Together we're educating children around the world raising socioeconomic conditions through the power of knowledge. Education has changed the world repeatedly over the course of human history and it will keep changing the world if we fuel it. Feel good, heck feel great about yourselves for contributing to such an impactful cause, but the work doesn't end here. Although we have allocated an enormous amount of funding over the past years, volunteers do much of the work done by Future of the World. From construction workers to doctors and teachers they volunteer their time for a cause to better mankind. I want to leave you here today with this, money has worth but as humans our time alone is priceless. Thank you," the crowd breaks out into a loud applause and I hear a whistle probably from Pene.
"The final item being auctioned is a jewelry set from India. Forged in Rajasthan, the intricate setting of rubies is embedded in rich twenty-four karat gold necklace with matching jhumka earrings. The starting price for this item is... one million dollars," my eyes go wide at the estimate of the jewelry's price.
"I have one million do I have a million one hundred thousand?" the auctioneer takes over.
"A million one hundred thousand. Do I have a million two hundred thousand?"
"One million five hundred thousand," a woman stands from her seat in the middle of the crowd with her calling card held up.
"Two million dollars," a man shouts rising to his feet as well.
"Do I have two million one hundred thousand? Going once, going twice, sold! To bidder number fifty-five," the auctioneer exclaims through the microphone. The applause of the crowd vibrates through the room as I make my way off stage and back to my seat.
"Pene who donated that piece?" I ask whispering in her ear. She was in charge of working with hosts to put the auction together.
"Anonymous,"
"Never mind," I know exactly who donated that set and he's missing from his seat next to me.
I make my way to the dining hall cursing silently at the seating arrangements. Pene was obviously in charge of the seating chart. The water offers much-needed relief to my parched throat as I sip, more like gulp the smooth liquid. The seat next to me fills with the heavy aura of Sidharth. His tall, serious stature intimidates everyone around him. The way he always looks grim and stern makes anyone shy away from approaching him for anything at all.
"Your speech was beautiful," he complimented smiling at me again. He's going to have to stop doing that if he wants this break-up thing to work. He's making it hard for me to dislike him as an ex.
"Thank you," I avert my eyes away from him scanning the room hoping for someone to come save me from the heaviness of awkward at the table between Sid and me.
"How much money did the auction raise?" and he continues to torture me.
"Little over five million dollars," I mumble looking down at the empty white plate.
"Congratulations,"
"Thanks. Your piece is a huge chunk of that five million," I look at him biting down on the inside of my mouth.
"How'd you know?" he asks with a deadly handsome smirk.
"I just know," I shrug.
For the rest of dinner, both of us are quiet, and me being quiet is very rare I always have something to say or some topic to argue. Sid silently eats next to me barely making eye contact with anyone else at the table only sparing me a few glances. I cut into the chicken on my plate ready to stab it with my fork when my plate is invaded by another fork and the chicken disappears from in front of me.
"Did you just take my chicken?" I ask Sid holding back my laugh but my lips can't help the smile. He's always like that around me. Playful. He raises his eyebrows, looking at me sideways, his lips in a pout as he shrugs. I go to steal a piece of chicken from his plate but it's all gone. Another thing about him, he's a fast eater always taking large bites and chewing fast.
"Whoever is in charge needs to know to make portion size bigger," he says as he takes another piece of chicken from my plate this time with my own fork.
"You owe me lunch," I warn him sliding my plate over to him to have the rest, it's not like I would have finished it anyway.
"That I do," he smirks and I realize I just played into a trap. A perfectly well-set trap, with a handsome man that only knows how to be silly, flirty and young around me.
"On second thought I'm fine. You just might steal my food again," I quickly escape from having to see Sidharth again yet another time.
"I'll keep my hands to my own plate, promise," he rests his right hand on his heart and raises his left, promising.
"Promise is a strong word," I murmur playing with the napkin resting in my lap. I avert his deep brown eyes and stare at my lap. The chair shifts beside me and when I look up he's walking out the dining hall to the exit. I sigh in relief letting out a harsh breathe that clouded my chest.
"You two are rather friendly with each other," Shre smirks slipping into the seat he occupied only moments ago. He's not even in the room but his domineering aura is left lingering just like his tall, muscular build.
"We're part of the same social circle I have to be civil with him," I'm lying to not only Shre but to myself, I was more than civil with him. That was full on flirting and I encouraged it.
"If you say so," she shrugs sipping on the glass of chilled white wine she brought along with her. We both remain silent for a while, which is very much unlike the two of us when we're together. I follow Shre's intense gaze to where he eyes are squinting at Nikhil talking to a girl. The girl is laughing at something he's saying, touching his bicep as she throws her head back giggling, typical flirtatious move, but it works like a charm for this girl. Shre drinks the rest of her wine in one gulp, rising from the seat and walking out to the terrace. Nik looks at her as she walks away, his eyes filled with anger I can make out even from across the room.
"So are you going to tell me what that was about or should I mind my own business and just set up a pity party for both of us tonight?" I find Shre standing by the concrete rail of the terrace. She swings around still grasping onto the rail her eyes red with forcing back tears.
"Pity party please," she murmurs looking away to the side distracting herself with the buildings around us.
"You know I'm a fair person, just because he's my brother doesn't mean I'll automatically pick his side and just because you're my best friend doesn't mean I'll support you either," I walk up to her forcing her to look at me. Raw desolation flashes in the hazel of her eyes, the eyes that always smile and laugh.
"It's nothing. I would never bring something into my life if I knew it would affect our friendship in that way," she swallows hard, keeping her eye stern with determination to make what I just saw seem trivial.
Later that night Shre and I lay in my bed, junk food scattered around us in piles of sweets, sours, and savories. We drink directly from the bottle of wine taking turns gulping the smooth red liquid. We decide on a comedy, laughter is the best medicine for...well anything. Shre snorts laughing and spits out wine all over my sheets, she's curled up into a ball of fits unable to stop laughing at the scene.
"I'm so-sorry I'll-get new sheets," she pants for breaths as she speaks still chuckling.
"You better," I warn hopping off the bed to get a fresh set of sheets from my closet.
My eyes find the one thing in my closet to remind me of Sidharth. The one thing in the entire walk-in closet. I stare at the dark green and burgundy sari hung up along the side with my other Indian clothing. The sari is bold in every way possible from the platinum embroidery to the mix of the two colors I had immediately fallen in love with it in the store. I shake my thoughts away from the damn article of clothing and fish out the white sheets from the back of the closet and quickly make my way back out to the bedroom.
"Man I need a life," she sighs falling back into bed landing on her stomach cuddling into the pillows.
"Yeah you do, who laughs at someone fainting for five minutes?"
"It was funny! Come on," she yelps smacking my arm.
"So what did you a lover boy talk about at lunch?" she questions shifting her face to side looking at me.
"Nothing just the auction and the organization," I shrug slipping under the covers staring up at the ceiling.
"It sure didn't look like it. You both were laughing and acting like you're so in lo-into each other," my heart thumps inside my chest at the small syllable lo. He said it that night on the beach in Naples but no one knows that. That was the first time we said it to each other.
"He was flirting with me so I flirted back,"
"You're torturing yourself by doing that,"
"I can't help it! It's so hard to stay mad at him and even harder to move on. It's been like what two weeks and a couple days I'm still adjusting to this not being a couple thing," I readily defend.
"Just don't hurt yourself even more than he already has. Being close to him could be dangerous, those feelings are still there, Anu and you never know what could end up happening if you're alone with him," my inside start feeling heated at the slightest thought of being alone with him, actually alone, kissing him again, feeling his arms around me, and running my fingers through his thick black hair or along his heavy shoulders and taut chest.
"Enough about me, will you tell me what went on at lunch today. I know I'm missing something between Nikhil and you,"
"Don't worry about it. I promise its nothing," she gently squeezes my shoulder patting it softly for some form of reassurance. There's that word again, promise, promises are always broken.
"If you say so," I sink into my pillow closing my eyes imagining Sidharth. The way he stands taller than me, the flirtatious smile on his lips, the dark brown of his eyes twinkling when he sees me, the way his black hair sways with the direction of the wind looking unkempt and rogue. I need help; this is desperation to a whole new level.
"Anuksha!" I hear Maa yell my name from outside the door. I make out footsteps barging into my room. I feel her soft hand grasp my shoulder pulling me from sleep. "There's something downstairs for you," she whispers. I shift from my stomach to my back her eyes are worried but sheepishly happy.
"Okay thanks," I groggily respond, silently yelling in my head for being awoken from beautiful sleep. Begrudgingly I climb out of bed and head to the bathroom. Taking in my horrid morning appearance. I brush my teeth still mumbling profanities for having to be awake at eight in the morning on a Sunday. Sundays are my sleep in day. I go back to the room and Shre is sound asleep on her side of the bed, drooling on my pillow. I smack the back of her head with another pillow and jump on her screaming in her ear to wake up.
"You know I really hate you right now. I can kill you and feel no remorse," she grumbles shifting onto her back with he still straddling her lap.
"I'm not suffering alone, wake your ass up," I tap her cheeks in a rhythm with my palm. She pushes me off her and heads to the bathroom. I make up the bed before she returns glaring at me.
"You better have coffee and a continental breakfast ready for me downstairs,"
"I have instant coffee and a croissant," I chuckle passing her by the door as she rolls her eyes.
I come down the stairs stepping onto the white marble tile of the foyer. The wooden table at the center of the room below the chandelier has a fresh bouquet of white double petal jasmines. With a small blue velvet envelop with an A etched in gold on the flap stuck between the pure white flowers. Shre watches cautiously as I take the envelope in my hand opening it with a skeptical mind and a heavy heart.
Lunch is on me today
-Sid
I look at the definitive and bold handwriting swooning at the gesture but feeling enraged at the same time. I slip the note back into the envelope and tuck it into the pockets of my pajama shorts. I'm not playing these games.