3 days to Christmas
**Jack's POV**
I am so going to kick his ass!
I don't know yet where I am going to take the courage from, but this time, I swear, I will do it.
There have been so many occasions where I wanted to do just that, but I've never been courageous enough to actually follow through with it. In my head, however, I have done it a million times already. I have a very clear mental image how I am going to perfectly execute my ass kicking. And even though I have been taught for as long as I can remember that you don't hurt your siblings, I think it will be a very satisfactory feeling once I follow through with my plan.
Will has been getting on my nerves for months now.
He has always been a bit odd, I guess. Different from my other siblings. Very closed off and recently also very absent. Although we have this rule that we're not supposed to go anywhere without letting our older brothers know, Will never follows it. And when I remind him of said rule, he just laughs at me and tells me that it's okay that I'm such a goody-two-shoes but that it's not his style.
His style, obviously, is to break rules.
To antagonize Josh.
To cause Alex to get grey hair before he turns thirty.
To piss off Ben so much that even he starts shouting, although he never really shouts at us kids.
And to make Luke worry.
That was clear as day when I decided to go talk to him about my concerns when it comes to Will. Luke didn't tell me to stop being an idiot and let Will be. No, he listened to what I had to say and he also didn't laugh at me but he seemed to believe me. He even went to check when I said that Will was acting really weird the other day. Luke didn't say as much, but I'm pretty sure he went to see if Will might have taken any drugs.
I told Luke that I caught Will smoking behind the bleachers with some other kids and although he said that it's normal for kids Will's age to rebel a bit, I could tell that he was not very happy to hear that about our brother. I also know that Luke knows that kids don't normally smoke regular cigarettes if they're hiding behind there.
I only found out about that a few days ago myself, when I talked to my friends about it. Zach, who has both an older sister and an older brother in sophomore and senior year in high school told me what kids do when they're hanging out there. Apparently, it's common knowledge, but Will has never mentioned it me – and I was still too young to hear anything about that when Luke, Sam and Ben went to high school. They all know about it, too, I'm certain.
And that's why Luke took me seriously, I think.
He did pull Will aside and he talked to him about it. I know this because Will was rather pissed off and called me a snitch when he came to our bedroom later that night. I tried to defend myself and told him that I don't want him to smoke – or worse, take drugs – and he just told me to mind my own business and keep my opinions to myself. Although he didn't threaten me, he gave me the kind of look that made it very clear that he would be really mad if I ever as much as told any of our oldest brothers about it.
Like I'd tell on him just like that!
There is a reason I went to Luke and not to Alex. First of all, I don't want to worry Alex in case it is nothing and I'm just overreacting. He has already enough to take care of, what with being responsible for all of us. And the little ones still need a lot of looking after, mainly Lily. So, obviously, I'm not gonna bother him with that kind of stuff.
Josh would have flipped out, for sure, so he wasn't an option, either.
Ben and Sam are too caught up with college and, in Sam's case, with playing football. Also, they're not very close to Will, so I doubt that he'd listen to a word they'd say to him. He isn't big on authority – that's what he told me more than once – so he's not going to take our middle brothers seriously, anyway.
I guess Sean would be the best person to talk to about this. For some reason, Will seems to get along rather well with him. Maybe it's because Sean is all into what makes people tick and he can easily get a person to open up to him. He's really easy to talk to and he always seems to understand what is occupying my mind. I assume it's the same with Will.
Unfortunately, Sean isn't here very often, and I needed someone to witness Will's behavior. Perhaps I can ask him to talk to Will when he's here for Christmas break. Although, I don't want to ruin his days off with family problems. That would not be very fair.
The same with Jordan. He's only just come back from a really horrible place and I can tell that he's not quite himself. He tries to hide it and he acts like nothing happened, but I have caught him with this faraway look on his face a few times since his return. It only happens when he thinks nobody is paying him any attention and as soon as he sees someone looking at him, his expression changes to neutral again. I am no expert, of course, since I haven't been on this planet for that long, but I think whatever happened to him where he was before, it was not good.
So that left Luke. That's why I went to him. Also, because I get along really well with him. He is probably my favorite big brother – other than Will. Luke's not too much like an adult yet, which is great, as they can be a bit unnerving when they think you're just a kid and don't know anything. And still he's old enough to know stuff about life and such. He understands teenagers, because he's still just one himself. And he's pretty laid back, too, so I knew he wouldn't freak out if I mentioned smoking and hanging out behind the bleachers. I don't know for sure, but I'd say he probably did it, too, when he was in school.
"Jack, where's Will?" Noah asks, popping up out of nowhere.
"How would I know?" I ask back as I continue to scan the large auditorium.
I have been trying to figure that out for the past fifteen minutes, too. Ever since we got here and there was no sign of him.
"You share a room," Noah huffs, like that gives me automatic access to our brother's mind.
"So what?" I snap at him.
I know I'm being unfair because Noah has only asked me a question, but Will being a no-show is really irritating me and I'm taking it out on my little brother.
"I thought he might have told you when he gets here. Alex says it starts in ten minutes," he informs me. "He needs to hurry up so he won't miss it!"
I look at him and can't help but smile at the sight of him. He is really excited about this nativity play, even if he's not in it himself. But Noah is probably the most supportive of us all and since his twin and Lily are in it, he's very enthusiastic about it, too.
After what happened yesterday at the fair, it almost was game over for him and Lils. It was quite uncertain for a while if we (or rather, he) would even be here this afternoon. They broke one of Alex's main rules when they got lost. It all happened because they left without telling anyone and they know exactly that that's the biggest no-go in our family.
You don't go off by yourself and you stay within sight at all times!
That's what Alex and Josh hammer into our heads every single time when we leave the house together to go somewhere. It is annoying, I admit that, because they treat all of us like little kids although really only Lily is still a baby. And most of the time the twins are, too, although they think they're really big now, which is kind of hilarious whenever that topic comes up. I'm a full head taller than Noah and almost a head taller than Aid. So to me, they're definitely little kids. And they hate it when you point that out to them.
Anyway, yesterday, once Jordan realized that Noah and Lily had disappeared, all hell broke loose. Normally, my biggest brothers are pretty level-headed, but that went out the window the second they couldn't find the kids anymore.
The only one who remained relatively calm was Jordan himself. I guess it has to do with his training. He once told me that the best survival technique out in the field is when you're calm in adverse situations. That's probably what he did yesterday when the others freaked out.
I don't think I've ever seen Alex as worried and stressed out as he was last night. His face lost all color and he kept running his hands through his hair like a robot. It took Sam, Ben and Josh to reason with him and keep him from calling the police immediately. We then split up in groups of two, including Zack and Rome, who offered to help, and always one kid went along with one adult.
I teamed up with Josh, who was really freaked out, too. But luckily, he managed to control his emotions pretty well once he realized that it scared me when he acted like this. He assured me that they'd be okay and that they'd most likely just got distracted by one of the stalls with the sweets, seeing as both of the little ones are addicted to anything with sugar in it. I still think he mainly kept repeating this for his own sanity.
It was only when our small teams had gone off in every possible direction and we had unsuccessfully checked a few stalls when I remembered another one of our brothers rules: If you do get lost, you stay where you are and wait for someone to find you. If possible, you speak to an adult that looks trustworthy – preferably someone with kids – and get them to call one of our oldest brothers. They have made sure that all of us remember at least two mobile numbers of an adult member of our family.
I reminded Josh of said rules and convinced him that we should go back to where we last saw them and stay there while the others looked all around the fair. I thought that maybe, if they had walked off deliberately, they'd know how to get back to where we'd been before. It would certainly scare them if nobody was there anymore.
So we returned to the mulled wine stall – and that's where we found our two littlest siblings, both of them in tears. Noah later on claimed that he wasn't crying, but that is a lie. I saw it with my own eyes and I can't even blame the little guy for it. Not only is it scary to get lost, but if you're stuck with your younger sister who was clearly panicking, I'd probably have been terrified, too.
I ended up holding Lily in my arms as Josh picked up Noah, who clung to him like he was his lifeline, while he called Alex and the others back to where we were.
Let's just say that the rest of the evening was pretty tense. At first, Alex wanted us to go home immediately, but Jordan managed to make him see that it would be very unfair to Luke – and to the rest of us who didn't do anything wrong – if we left without seeing his gig. We ended up staying until Luke was done, which I was really happy about because he was great.
Lily remained glued to Alex and started crying every time he wanted to put her back down on the ground, so he had to carry her around for the rest of the evening. Lucky for him she's pretty small and light. Noah stuck with Sam all night and Jordan made sure to keep Aidan within arm's length to avoid him getting lost, too.
For whatever reason, Josh decided to become my personal shadow and he even went with me when I had to go to the bathroom. It was a bit annoying, but he was very persistent. I think it made him feel better, or something, so I let him be and didn't complain.
So, really, we're only here now because Alex realized that it would this time be totally unfair to Aidan if he kept Lily and Noah grounded at home. Because that would have meant that either him, Josh or Jordan wouldn't have been able to come, either. This is why they decided that Lily was still allowed to be in the nativity play. But Alex made it very clear that their misbehavior last night wouldn't normally warrant this kind of leniency.
He says that they will receive a proper punishment later on, but I kind of think he might go easy on them, even if he tries to stay firm. I overheard him speaking to Josh about it and they're both in agreement that the two culprits were already punished with being so scared and that they're sure that they learned their lesson and wouldn't do this again.
I think they should at least get a few extra chores for breaking these sacred rules, but I also wouldn't want for them to be grounded over Christmas. That would put a damper on it for all of us.
"Kids, lets go to our seats," Josh announces, joining us.
"Are they ready?" Alex asks.
Josh had been backstage to help Lily and Aidan with their costumes. He nods, a small smile on his lips. It must be chaos back there. I once was in a play when I was nine or ten and it was madness. I didn't really like it and never volunteered again. Noah is a bit like me, he doesn't like that kind of stuff, either.
Aidan, as we all know, was volunteered by Ben, which I find rather hilarious. But I think, although he claims differently, he secretly quite likes it. He's a little showman and I'm sure he'll enjoy it greatly if everybody is looking at him on stage. According to Lily, he also has a girlfriend in the group and I'm on a mission to identify her tonight. The teasing will be relentless.
"Yup, one wiseman and one tiny sheep are going to steal the show," Josh claims confidently.
"Will's not here yet," Noah informs everyone.
I catch Alex's expression when he absorbs this. It is a mixture of disappointment, anger and – worry? A shiver runs down my spine as this slowly sinks in.
Does that mean my oldest brother has caught on that something's not right with Will?
I seriously hope that Luke didn't tell him. I confided in him because I trusted him that he would keep this to himself and maybe that he could talk some sense into Will. But seeing as he's missing from yet another family gathering – we almost didn't manage to convince him to come yesterday, but he did show up almost on time, surprisingly – it probably didn't work.
"Has anyone heard from Will?" Alex asks nobody in particular.
All of my brothers shake their heads. I see Alex and Josh exchange a look and then the younger of the two almost invisibly shakes his head again. They appear to have a whole conversation with their eyes and eventually, Alex shrugs, grimaces lightly and runs a hand over his face before he schools his features and puts on a neutral expression.
"All right, let's find our seats. It'll start in five minutes," he orders.
"We're in the fourth row," Noah says helpfully and skips ahead with Sam following behind him.
I look towards the entrance of the auditorium once again, hoping that Will is showing up last minute, but there is no sign of my older brother.
Lily is going to be so disappointed if he misses her first time being on stage. She has been very nervous all day, even though she only has one line, as far as I know. But I think apart from having to perform in front of so many people, she is also a bit worried to be away from our oldest three brothers.
Yesterday seems to have traumatized her a bit – at least that's what Ben said when I asked him what was going on with her – as she's been glued to either one of their sides all day. She only decided to stay in the play because Ben is with them and because Josh managed to make her understand that she'd be very sad if she missed out on all the fun with the other kids.
"Come on, Jacky," Luke says, wrapping an arm around me and pulling me towards the rows of chairs.
"Don't call me that," I mutter, hating that nickname.
"He's okay, you know?" my brother says quietly, ignoring my mood.
"But why's he not here then, if he's okay?" I question.
"He must have forgotten the time. You know how that kid is. Chaotic is his middle name."
I really hope that that's the reason. But something tells me that Will is deliberately missing this. I don't think he does it to be mean to Lily and Aidan, per se, but he's rebelling against Alex because our oldest brother wants to force him to join a second family outing within only two days.
Will hates family activities with a passion.
"Lily's going to be really upset," I mutter.
Luke stops and looks at me with a raised eyebrow. I try to avoid looking directly at him because it feels as if he's reading my mind. Until now, I thought only Sean had that creepy ability.
"And that's the only reason you want him to show up?" he asks slowly.
"Of course!" I claim, feeling a bit awkward. "She specifically asked him to be here. And he promised her he would. She doesn't take it lightly if promises are broken, you know that."
"Okay." Luke doesn't sound so convinced. "And it's not because you're worried about his whereabouts and what he's up to?"
I want to glare at him for suggesting that this is about my own feelings, but when I see understanding in his eyes, all I can do is shrug a bit awkwardly.
"It's okay to worry about your brother, Jack. But I promise you, he's fine. He's just in a rebellious phase, as we already figured out a few days ago. He might just show up a bit later to get on Alex's nerves. That's legitimate, as a younger brother, ya know?"
Luke takes his arm off from around my shoulder and lightly punches my upper arm, winking at me when our eyes meet. Despite myself, his carefree actions make me feel a bit more relaxed.
He's probably right. Will is known to be a rebel and he hates rules even more than family outings. Plus, getting under Alex's skin is one of his favorite hobbies.
"What if he doesn't show up at all?"
"Then we'll just not tell our baby sis, how about that?" he suggests with a shrug.
"That's lying."
"Jeez, Jacky, lighten up a bit. That's a while lie, is all. Their sole purpose is to avoid hurt souls and unnecessary family dramas. It's not a crime to use them from time to time. I promise you, Lily will buy it. We just tell her that Will went to meet up with a friend right after the show and she'll be none the wiser."
"Sounds kinda mean."
"It'd be meaner to break her little heart and tell her that he couldn't be bothered to come," Luke states dryly.
I hate to admit it, but telling that white lie sounds like the better option, after all.
"Okay," I agree, still feeling a bit reluctant.
"Awesome. – And who knows, maybe it won't come to that in the end and all is well. Come on, you worrywart, the lights have already been dimmed. I'd hate for people to complain if we have to squeeze past them to get to our seats."
Something tells me that Luke wouldn't really be bothered by such a thing at all, but he knows me well enough to realize that I would definitely hate that extra kind of attention.
"Hey, guys! I'm not late, am I?"
I'm just about to swivel around when a body squeezes in between Luke and I and a heavy arm lands on my shoulder, almost bringing me to my knees.
"Sean, you're here already?" Luke exclaims, earning some unamused glares from people nearby for being so loud.
"Of course I am! Wouldn't miss this for the world. – Oh wow, I missed you, baby bros," Sean laughs, pulling both of us in for some kind of a sideways group hug.
"Good to see you, too, Sean," Luke eventually greets him, too.
The oldest of us lets go and turns his attention to me.
"Hi, Jack. How's it going? Did you grow again?" my big brother asks, ruffling my hair.
I still stare wordlessly at him, not even bothering to move away from his hand that is successfully ruining my hair. Sure, we all knew that Sean would be joining us for Christmas, but I thought he wouldn't arrive until the day after tomorrow. This sure is unexpected. But nice.
"Cat's got your tongue?" Sean teases me.
"Shhh!" someone chastises him.
"He's just shocked to see you here already. – I think we should go to our seats now," Luke says, offering sugary sweet smiles to everyone who glares at us as he starts walking past them.
Sean pushes me to follow our brother and brings up the rear. Soon enough, we find the fourth row and luckily, the three seat starting from the aisle have been left open for us. Actually, there's four seats, one of which would be Will's.
Judging from Noah's puzzled face when he sees us, I realize that I wasn't the only one who didn't know that Sean would be arriving today already. He quickly switches seats with Sam so that he sits at the end of our row of family members. Sean squeezes past me and Luke to take the seat next to our littlest brother and they exchange a heartfelt hug. I slip in next and Luke comes last.
"Didn't you find Will?" Noah asks, leaning around Sean to address me.
I shake my head no and then shrug to show him that I have no idea where he is.
"Lily will not be happy," he says, looking disappointed for her.
"I'm pretty sure that our surprise guest will be a great distraction," Sam says from the other side of Noah.
Maybe this surprise guest will also help me find out what's going on with Will. I feel relief surge through my body at Sean's unexpected presence.
Meanwhile, Sam reaches around the seat and pats Sean's shoulder to greet him. My fourth oldest brother leans forward and waves to the three eldest who are sitting next to Sam. They start talking a bit but stop when more irritated "shhh" sounds can be heard all around.
My family is so embarrassing!
Maybe that is one of the reasons Will hates family outings. We always attract attention, wherever we go and whatever we do. Either because we're too loud and rambunctious or because there's so many of us. Or because we have some drama with lost children or somebody getting hurt.
A smile appears on my lips at the thought of how unique a family we are. And although there resides a lingering worry in me because of Will's absence, I also feel very happy to be here with all my other brothers. Watching our baby siblings perform should be pretty entertaining, too.
It sure never is boring in our family.
A/N - Sean's here (and just in time for his POV)! And now Will's AWOL. There's always something going on with this family. Let's hope that the wiseman and the sheep remember their lines and make the brothers proud ;).