Monza, Italy
Headaches were the first thing Viktoria felt the next morning.
A sharp prick in the temple made the Finn grimace painfully and she opened her eyes a little.
Immediately she was blinded by the Italian morning sun and so she narrowed her eyes tightly again.
Groaning, she tried to turn around, away from the window and further into the bed. That's when she realized that this wasn't her hotel room at all.
It looked similar to hers, but unlike the Finn's, the suitcase lied open on the floor and the clothes were spread across it.
Taking a closer look, the Finn realized that Red Bull clothes were in the suitcase and a cap with the number 1 was hanging on the wooden chair.
Then Viktoria realized that this wasn't her room, it was her teammate's.
At that very moment he moaned softly and when Viktoria slowly turned her head towards him, she saw how Sebastian was massaging his temples.
What the hell was she doing here in Sebastian's room and especially in his bed? She was shocked to find that the German was lying shirtless under the blanket.
When Viktoria looked down at herself, she realized that she too was only wearing her panties from last night.
When they went to party And she herself had caught a little too much alcohol.
When she and her teammate kissed.
The Finn's facial features derailed.
She had slept with Sebastian Vettel.
Startled, she sat up, holding the white duvet to her chest and thereby drawing the German's attention to herself.
"What the fuck have we done?", she panicked and ran her hands through her brown hair.
It couldn't be true, she couldn't have been so drunk that she let herself be seduced into sleeping with him.
"We had sex like people do, Vicky", Sebastian replied calmly to Viktoria's panic.
Apart from the headache, he seemed to be feeling better than ever, but the Finn felt her heart begin to race.
"Don't piss me off now, Vettel", she snapped at him, scanning the room for her clothes.
She had to get away from here, away from him.
The tenderness and passion from the previous night was gone, instead the Finn became more and more restless.
"Last night I was Seb", the reigning world champion complained, causing Viktoria's head to snap towards him.
She drew her eyebrows together.
"I don't care what has been last night, don't you realize that we slept with each other?", she said harshly, but he stayed calm.
How the hell could he stay so relaxed?
"And?", he asked unimpressed and Viktoria realized that he didn't quite understand her problem.
So she leaned forward a little more before explaining what was upsetting her so much.
"Coworkers don't have sex, Vettel. They don't have sex!", she gestured with her hand while holding up the blanket with the other. Sebastian's facial expression changed, he finally seemed to understand the Finn.
"So you're saying this was a mistake?", he asked softly and his voice seemed a little broken now.
Everything had been fine last night, more than just fine, and now Viktoria thought their night together was a mistake?
The German felt his chest tighten uncomfortably.
"I could loose my cockpit if this thing with us came out", Viktoria argued, alluding to the fact that Red Bull wouldn't like seeing their two drivers in a relationship.
And with Horner not firing his world champion, Viktoria would lose her seat in the car.
"I could loose my cockpit too, Viktoria. Don't worry, it's gonna be okay", Sebastian tried to calm the Finn down, tenderly stroking her upper arm.
Then he held her upper arm and tried to get her to lie down next to him again.
Meanwhile, the tugging feeling in his chest faded.
If that was Viktoria's problem, it was the smallest.
Sebastian had a lot of influence on Christian, he would certainly be able to convince him that a relationship between his two drivers was not bad.
And even if Horner didn't change his mind, Sebastian still had the offer from Scuderia Ferrari.
Of course he would change the team if only so a relationship with Viktoria, that didn't harm her career, was possible.
But the Finn didn't seem to think so.
"No you wouldn't", she said seriously, tearing herself away from his gentle grip, ignoring the warmth that spread down her arm from his touch.
Sebastian looked at her confused.
"You wouldn't, because you are a man and I am a woman", the Finn said.
Men had always dominated motorsport. Female pilots like Esme, Phoebe, Valentina, Sofia and Viktoria herself were a rare exception.
Viktoria had had to fight for every fucking inch in the motorsport world, she wasn't going to throw it all away for a relationship. No, she had fought too hard for that.
"I'm sorry, but this between us has no future", the Finn looked at Sebastian with a pained look, saw his facial features slipping away.
He felt a lump form in his throat, his chest tightening painfully again.
"What?", his voice cracked, but he understood what Viktoria meant.
It hurt like hell because he had fallen in love with her, really in love.
And the Finn trampled on all these feelings just because she was afraid of losing her cockpit at Red Bull.
"It'll pass, Sebastian", she said and finally got out of the bed and quickly put on her clothes from yesterday.
Sebastian watched her silently, holding back tears.
Viktoria swallowed hard and was also fighting the tears.
She didn't feel anything for Sebastian, so this shouldn't be that difficult, she told herself.
And yet she felt the cold spread inside her. Her body longed for the warmth of the German, but she couldn't go back to him.
She silently let a tear run down her cheek as she dared one last look at him.
He looked at her monotonously, the tears that had come up had dried or had been eagerly wiped away.
Viktoria swallowed and finally disappeared behind the door, closing it softly.
✧･ﾟ: ✧ﾟ･:
Marina Bay Street Circuit, Marina Bay, Signapore
The next few days were difficult for both Viktoria and Sebastian.
It was a freezing cold atmosphere in the Red Bull camp, the two drivers minimized any contact.
While they had come to the meeting together in Italy, in Singapore they came into the room separately and with expressionless faces.
Before the training sessions, Sebastian didn't come into Viktoria's garage or she into the German's.
Each of them concentrated on their own race, just like Viktoria wanted it to be.
She had only wanted to focus on racing in her first Formula One season, instead she had only thought of the German since she left his room in Italy.
It was driving her insane and she was beginning to wonder if she had made a mistake by leaving him in Italy.
She could be happy, but she could also lose her hard-earned cockpit at the reigning world champions Red Bull.
And the Finn's pride and ambition would always prevail, she knew.
So she tried to concentrate fully on Qualifying here in Signapore.
It was a slightly heavier track and it took her a while to get into it, which is why she barely made it into Q2.
When her pit crew took her back to the garage, she stayed in her cockpit and asked who had been eliminated and who hadn't. Her teammate took the lead, of course, as always, but he still showed his inner bastard out on the track again.
After Qualifying ended with Q3, the Finn was finally able to leave her car.
It was very hot here in Signapore and although the Finn was used to warmer temperatures, it was completely different in Signapore.
But apart from the heat, Viktoria was happy with her starting position for tomorrow's race - P4.
On race day, the Finn tried to be as focused as possible.
She wanted to maintain or even improve her position, here at her premiere in Signapore. Shortly before the race, she had gone through her strategy with Simon again, trying to listen fully to her head engineer.
But just as she shifted her weight and looked at Simon, Sebastian walked past.
Viktoria felt her pulse racing and suddenly her focus on Simon was lost.
But he continued talking undisturbed, he didn't seem to notice how Viktoria and Sebastian kept eye contact.
The German, who had just had something to drink, now also looked in the direction of the Finn and their eyes met.
For a moment the world around them went quiet, at least that's how it seemed to Viktoria.
When she looked into Sebastian's eyes, she first recognized monotony.
He acted like he didn't care, didn't care about his feelings for the Finn, but he did care about her.
What had happened in Italy had hurt him.
Oh how he would have liked to wake up peacefully with her in his arms, holding her and kissing her?
Now the Finn saw the sadness in her teammate's eyes.
He was sad and hurt, but somehow Viktoria was too.
But that shouldn't be between them.
They were just teammates who had to win a world championship for Red Bull ahead of Ferrari, Mercedes and McLaren.
Shaking his head, Sebastian looked to the side, away from Viktoria and went to the top of the starting format - to pole position.
He had a race to win, he told himself, to finally find full focus.
Viktoria looked after him with a sigh and finally turned her attention back to Simon, who was still talking and still hadn't noticed that the driver hadn't really listened to him.
She tried hard to understand a word of his quick English, but the only thing she understood was 'tyre management'.
Then he had finished his monologue and left Viktoria alone with her pit crew.
So the Finn pulled the balaclava and helmet over her head, placed the gloves on her hands and got into her car.
She was handed the steering wheel, which she fitted herself and before she knew it, the parc ferme was empty.
The Finn took a deep breath one last time before the start when the lights went out and 22 cars raced through the night in Signapore. The race went exactly as Viktoria had hoped and calculated.
At the moment she was in P3 behind Sebastian and Fernando Alonso, whom she wanted to attack soon.
She could feel the heat in her cockpit, but eventually the heat became really unbearable.
It had never been so hot here in Signapore, especially at night.
A button on her steering wheel flashed as she took the corner and she realized she was losing grip.
Smoke filled her nostrils, which usually only smelled worn tires and gasoline.
Something was wrong here.
"Vick, you're on fire. Please stop the car and get out immediately", Simon's voice suddenly sounded in her ear, sounding serious and stressed at the same time.
This also stressed out Viktoria, who immediately slowed down and drove to the side of the track as soon as all other drivers had seen the red flag.
She unbuckled and hurriedly removed the steering wheel before stepping out of the burning Red Bull.
Helpers rushed to the Finn from behind the gang and put out the fire.
Meanwhile, Viktoria aggressively and disappointedly tapped her helmet.
"For fucks sake!", she cursed and kicked the tire of her car when suddenly a black Lotus stopped.
It didn't take Viktoria long to identify him.
It was Kimi.
Discouraged, Viktoria approached her mentor, who knocked on his car.
"Come on, I'll give you a lift back", he said caringly, and the Finn boarded Kimi's without another gesture or word, holding on and keeping one foot in the cockpit for safety.
The Iceman dropped his protégé at the entrance in front of the pitlane.
"Thank you, Kimi", she said defeated and started to take off her gloves.
"Anytime, Kääpiö", he called out to her before he had to take his place again.
Viktoria walked back into her part of the garage, defeated and head hanging.
But goddamn it.
The Finn retreated to her driver's room and wanted to pack her suitcase and drive home. To Vantaa, to Finland.
To her father, Erja and her little siblings.
She wanted to forget the shit that happened in the race.
But she also wanted to forget the shit that had happened between her and Sebastian.
She sank weakly onto the couch and buried her face in her hands.
Why did everything always have to be so difficult?
Couldn't it be simple and beautiful for once?
Apparently not.
When there was a knock on the door to her driver's room, the Finn did not respond.
Still, the one came in, but Viktoria didn't care. She felt the couch being pushed down and someone sitting down next to her, putting their arms around her.
A black braid tickled her ear and now she knew who was hugging her - Phoebe.
The Finn choked back tears, fought them and didn't want to lose the fight.
Damn it, where was the strong Viktoria Häkkinen who wasn't intimidated by anything?
At that moment, she no longer recognized herself.
She slowly leaned against her good friend, sniffling.
Phoebe stroked her brown hair soothingly.
"I'm here, Vicky. Everything's going to be alright", the British woman murmured caringly and now Viktoria cracked up.
She had lost the fight against tears and now they were streaming down her cheeks as she clung onto Phoebe.
How should everything going to be alright?
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A/N:
i'm finally back!
it was good to have a break from writing, but i'm also happy to be back!
hope you guys like the chapter, your opinions on it?