December 1999
Before becoming the Traveler, lying was a hard thing for Tesla to do. She hardly ever saw a good reason to lie to people; it never felt necessary. Now, after all the things she's seen and done, lying becomes the only sane thing to do in order to keep everyone's heads on straight. For instance, when Kimberly Adams asks Tesla if, just hours before Kimberly's wedding, she's doing okay because she seems off. Tesla Edison lies, because this is Kimberly and Dan's day. This is not the time for Tesla to share potentially life-altering information. Kimberly stares worriedly at Tesla from the chair in front of the vanity mirror.
"Tessie," she calls. She raises an eyebrow at her younger friend once she looks at Kimberly. "What's going on?"
Tesla huffs. Her long emerald green dress swings at her ankles. "This has nothing to do with the wedding, okay? I promise. It is my own personal thing that I'm going to deal with, and I don't want you to worry."
A crease appears on Kimberly's forehead as the woman stares at her friend. "I'm going to worry if you don't tell me what's going on."
"I'm pregnant," Tesla blurts out.
"You're pregnant?" Tesla and Kimberly both look over at Betty, who has arrived in the doorway of the room. She is also one of Kimberly's bridesmaids, wearing a matching emerald green dress with Tesla. Betty is holding three sets of white flower bouquets. She gently sets them on the table where a scattering of hair pieces, make-up, and jewelry sits. "How far along are you?"
"A month or so," says Tesla, swallowing hard. She wasn't planning on telling Betty. "I haven't said anything to anyone yet. Not even Bruce, please don't tell anyone."
Sighing, Kimberly takes Tesla's hand, squeezing it. "Don't worry, Tessie. It'll all be okay."
"I—I know. Let's just get you married first, okay, Kimmy?"
The ceremony for Kimberly and Dan was wonderful and everything went on without a hitch. Kimberly and Dan shared their vows. Tesla and Dan's brother gave their maid of honor and best man speeches. There was a first dance, and a throwing of the bouquet, which was caught by Lacy. Lacy had a good laugh about that, as she was currently single. The way that she and Stephen Strange are talking throughout the night, makes Tesla question if that would last for very long. The newlyweds seem incredibly grateful that everything is going so well. Tesla almost forgot all about the big secret she is carrying around. She looks around, spotting her mother at a table with Kimberly's parents. At least Tesla never has to worry about raising the child alone. She knows that Bruce will drop anything and everything for Tesla; he already has on countless different occasions. Tesla admires her mother more and more for what she did.
The idea of telling Elsa pops into Tesla's head. After checking on the food and refreshments, Tesla slowly begins to wander to her mother. A hand reaches for her own and spins her around playfully. "Hiya, darling."
"Bruce," Tesla smiles back at him.
"I love you," he whispers against her cheek. She can smell the slight scent of alcohol and cherries, but it doesn't bother her. Bruce is always responsible and respectful of his behavior.
"I love you, too."
Pulling gently on her arm, Bruce turns towards the dance floor. "Come dance with me?"
They make their way onto the floor, and dance to the song that isn't necessarily a slow song. Tesla places an arm around Bruce's shoulder as he puts his hand softly on her waist. They sway carefully and she puts her head on his shoulder. Bruce's chin rests on her head, and she can feel his breath on her hair. It's a sweet moment that Tesla wishes to stay in forever. Maybe one day she'll Travel back to this moment, and dance with Bruce until her legs can no longer hold her up. The song fades into a slower song, and people pair up, dancing to the rhythm of this new song. Kimberly and Dan have taken the floor as well. People move around the two of them effortlessly. This is their moment, but for Tesla this also feels like her moment. A moment before she has to share with Bruce a tiny little detail that will change their lives forever.
"Mind if I cut in?"
Tesla lifts her head off of Bruce's chest. She peers up at Stephen, who looks between Bruce and Tesla patiently. Bruce nods, giving Tesla a swift kiss on the cheek. Six years ago, he might've felt threatened by Stephen and Tesla dancing together, but too much history has passed. Bruce knows that no one could ever come between Tesla and Bruce.
Stephen spins Tesla gracefully onto the dance floor and Tesla grips his hand tightly. He is a better dancer than either of them. Stephen hums slightly to the tune for a couple of seconds, his eyes wandering around the ballroom. He feels Tesla's eyes on him and looks down at her. Stephen gives Tesla a look that makes her believe he knows something he shouldn't. The next words he says make her trip slightly on her feet, but he continues dancing, saving her from falling without much thought to it.
"You're pregnant." Tesla doesn't say a word. Stephen looks at her. "Am I wrong?"
"How did you...?"
The song's melody crescendos, and Stephen dips Tesla. She stares at the people dancing around them upside down and feels slightly nauseous. Stephen lifts her back up and Tesla swallows. She stops dancing and Stephen notices something wrong. "Let's get you to the bathroom."
Stephen leads her out of the ballroom and down the hallway to the bathrooms, where it is significantly quieter. Tesla can hear herself think and feels her stomach contract painfully. She stumbles once on her heels but continues through the bathroom door. She makes her way to a stall, biting on her bottom lip as the cramp in her stomach tightens again. Tesla picks up her dress and glances down.
"Shit."
Moments later, she's walking slowly out of the bathroom again, meeting Stephen in the hallway. He notices her odd expression and frowns at her. Tesla stares up at him with wide eyes. "I think I'm bleeding."
March 2000
"I keep seeing you in the newspaper," says Kimberly over the phone.
The phone booth that Tesla stands in is cramped and smells like straw. She has the phone pressed against her left ear. She watches people walking outside of the building where a molecular biology conference is being held. Bruce has been giving speeches all day. Just two days ago they were in Poland and before that they were in Italy and Spain. Two days from now they'll be in London. Tesla has given a few small speeches on Quantum Physics, but otherwise has felt perpetually overwhelmed by most of the conferences and awards and people.
"Yes, well it's a big conference, I suppose," mumbles Tesla, her eyes flickering upwards at the sight of Betty Ross stepping outside of the building. Betty is searching the street, looking for Tesla. "Our last one is in London. We have about a day and a half here in Germany."
Kimberly's voice cuts out for a moment. "...any sight-seeing?"
Shaking her head, Tesla stares down at her nice shoes. She rarely ever dresses nice. Even for these conferences she doesn't change her wardrobe much. A nicer blazer in a shade of dark red, a black shirt underneath and clean jeans. Tesla always receives odd looks from other scientists and doctors for her lack of "professional" clothing; and of course, her unruly hair. She hardly minds though, she knows most people find her intimidating because of this and partly because of her tendency to be such a private person. "No, I don't think we'll do much sight-seeing. Bruce and Betty have had a long day today."
"What about you?"
Tesla has grown to hate this question and others similar to it—asking about her. "What about me?" she retorts.
From across the way, Betty spots Tesla in the phone booth. There's a slight frown on her face. Betty's not very good at hiding the worry in her eyes. She must've thought that Tesla ran away from the conference or something. Everyone thinks Tesla's a flight risk now. In the three months since her miscarriage, Tesla's anxiety has skyrocketed. She doesn't Travel and hasn't Traveled in nearly two weeks. She doesn't respond to Nick's letters, emails, or phone calls if it is anything related to Traveling or Xecu. Those topics tend to make her brain spiral from stress. She knows that Bruce and Nick talk about Traveling and Xecu without her. Stephen, at one point, even unofficially diagnosed Tesla with having a depressive episode shortly after she lost the baby. It has taken its toll on Bruce as well. Losing something he didn't know he could have, and seeing his significant other in so much emotional pain. He couldn't think of solutions on how to help her get past this, so he worked. A lot. Hence all these conferences. Stephen has even taken the time to check in with Tesla more frequently, and whatever silent turmoil Betty has been going through these past seven years after Bruce and Tesla started their relationship, she has put aside. She has been very understanding of Tesla and tries her best to accommodate to the ways of Tesla's coping.
"Tessie?" Kimberly's voice sounds anxious on the other end of the phone.
"Uh, sorry." Tesla blinks, clearing her head and tuning back into what Kimberly is saying.
"I thought I lost you for a second," Kimberly lets out a small chuckle. Even on her honeymoon she made sure to call Tesla, and this is hurting her more than anything. She has no idea what to say, and the voice inside her head has nothing to say.
Hearing the hurt in Kimberly's voice, Tesla sighs heavily. "I'm sorry, Kimmy."
"You have nothing to be sorry for."
Betty knocks on the door to the phone booth, causing Tesla to startle. Betty gives her an apologetic look. Tesla says into the phone, "Look, Kimmy, Betty is telling me I have to go. I'll call you when I'm in London, okay?"
"Oh, o-okay—"
"Bye."
"Bye—" Tesla hangs up the phone, listening to the receive click and ding loudly. She steps out of the phone booth, smiling wearily at Betty.
Betty gestures to the building. "C'mon. We can't miss Bruce's next speech."
_ _ _
When Tesla was fifteen, after soccer games and practices she'd take long showers, and they were usually cold showers. The cold showers made her feel refreshed and energized, like she could play another ninety minute game of soccer. She stopped taking long, cold showers when she moved to Harvard—when she stopped playing soccer.
She's been in the shower of her and Bruce's hotel room in Germany for about thirty minutes, letting waves of cold water splash down her back. She hasn't spoken a word to Bruce since they arrived at the hotel. She's not mad at him. She could never be mad at Bruce, but she is frustrated. The two of them are dealing with this loss much differently, and not at all dealing with it together. They have been avoiding all confrontations. Neither of them raise their voices, neither of them dare to mention anything that bothers them, or that could go wrong. They've hardly touched or held each other. It's like co-existing with a ghost.
A knock echoes on the bathroom door. Tesla flinches, turning in the shower. She slowly turns off the shower as another knock arises. Quickly, she dries herself off and puts on a bathrobe. She ties her wet hair up and opens the door. Bruce stares at her from the hall, scanning her features.
"Are you okay? You were in there for a long time."
Tesla nods. "I was taking a cold shower. There should still be hot water if you need to shower."
Bruce rubs the back of his neck; this is something he does when he's nervous. "I was actually wondering if you'd want to get dinner and maybe see the Berlin Wall or the Cathedral?"
A guilty feeling bubbles up from Tesla's stomach to her chest. She peers at her partner with wide brown eyes. She waits about half a second too long to reply, and Bruce's expression shifts from longing to disappointment. Bruce drops his hand from his neck, shaking his head. "Forget it."
"Bruce—" she begins.
"No, don't." He waves a hand, shifting his gaze away from her, down at the floor. "You know, I'm trying, Tesla."
"I'm trying, too," she admits.
"Are you? Because nothing seems to be getting better." His voice is slowly rising.
"I can't just throw myself into my work like you do."
"I can't take cold showers and do nothing like you do."
"Do nothing?" Her voice sounds cold and deadly.
"I—I didn't mean—"
"Go. Go get your dinner. Go see the Cathedral. Bring Betty with you. I don't want to see you right now."
"Tess."
"No. You can finish this conference on your own. I'll be leaving tomorrow. Call me when you're ready to apologize." Tesla walks back into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.
From the other side of the door, Bruce says, "You call me when you want to talk about this, Tesla." She hears the hotel door open and close moments after.