Hazel's point of view.
I feel all dizzy. Maybe drinking that much was a bad idea. I'm leaning on Neil, I feel every breath he takes. His heart beats steadily against my back. I'm staring at my half emptied glass of beer as it trembles when the players push against the table. The chatter is a complete blur in my ears. Even if I'm way too drunk, I feel alright. I feel safe with Neil.
"Let's play some games, come on," Aaron says at some point and people agree.
They start with truth or dare but we don't take part. Neil hates that game. I kind of do too now. I used to wish Vince was dared to reveal his feelings for me or something. How foolish. Then they decide to play 'Spin the Bottle' and Parker pretty much forces us to play.
"Haz, the ratio needs you," he tells me, pointing at the large amount of guys and the quite small group of cheerleaders.
"Wouldn't hurt you to kiss a guy. Would humble you," I say and the players all groan at the idea.
Parker pointedly ignores me to pick on Neil.
"And you, you need to get laid for once, man." Neil rolls his eyes.
"'Spin the Bottle' won't get me laid. Besides, I—"
"Let's play," Aaron announces anyway, clapping his hands.
The table is quickly cleared of bottles and glasses. Aaron starts spinning and people kiss, gradually. At one point, the bottle lands on Eve and one of the cheerleaders. Under the players' stares, they exchange a sloppy kiss. Vince isn't even bothered enough to look, scrolling on his phone.
"Isn't that cheating?" I whisper at Neil.
He shrugs, drinking some beer.
Then the bottle lands on me for the first time. And on Neil. I could bet that was on purpose. We look at each other with awkward smiles. I give him a gentle peck on the cheek and he affectionately kisses my forehead. The players boo at us but we don't care. The bottle lands on Parker and he grins. Until it lands on Aaron. Everybody bursts into laughter and cheers. Neil and I are laughing so hard we're crying. Hesitantly, they kiss over the table. Parker spits into an empty glass, cursing.
"Didn't want to kiss you either, fuckface," Aaron glowers.
The bottle spins and spins. A lot of kisses are exchanged. Neil and I just keep talking like the game isn't even on. Until the bottle lands on me. Right after landing on Vince that is. I frown, hoping I understood wrong. But no, Vince and I are really supposed to kiss now. Eve shoots me a heavy glare. I can't kiss him. It wouldn't be right. I look at Neil, panicking. Worry is readable on his face. Then I look at Parker who's already staring at me curiously. The players are already encouraging us loudly.
"Kiss him! Kiss him!" they chant forcefully.
Vince is sitting back against the wall seat, arms crossed. He looks nonchalantly and careless, but the eyes he has on me are all but that. His eyes tell me he's willing to kiss me. Worse, he's waiting for me to come get that kiss.
"I..." I mumble.
"Wouldn't hurt you," Aaron says, using my words against me.
Expect it totally would. I look back at Parker. He seems to understand my uneasiness.
"Well, at the end of the day, she gets to choose," he tries to spare me.
At the sounds of disapproval, Neil speaks too. "Yeah, it's just a dumb game anyway."
The players seems to start to consider giving up. Until Vince decides to go against me like the jerk he is.
"Exactly. It's just a game. Would be lame not to play it. It's not all that serious, Hazel." He gives me a proud, prideful smile and my stomach drops.
I feel a burning feeling in my throat. Everybody is looking at me. My face heats in embarrassment. I want to get out of here.
Neil places a gentle hand on my back. "Are you okay?" he asks.
Nausea makes everything spin around me. Everything is too loud suddenly. I feel like I'm going to burst. I shake my head. Neil takes my arm and stands up, pulling me towards the bathroom.
"I think she's going to be sick. Go on without us," he tells everyone.
As I turn around, I pretend I didn't see the clear disappointment on Vince's face. He doesn't get to feel disappointed. He doesn't get to call my name like he did earlier either. He doesn't get to pretend we're anything anymore. He didn't want me back then, he can't want me now. It's ridiculous. Soon, I'm on my knees in front of a toilet, vomiting in it. Neil's rough hands hold my hair back and rub my back reassuringly. He gives me comfort I didn't know I needed. I wipe my mouth and sit there, on the tiled flooring. I try to steady myself. Suddenly, Neil gasps and starts pulling at the collar of my shirt.
"Wha—" In a second, he gets my jacket off and I'm left in my camisole only.
I frown at the mixed feelings I read in his eyes. Surprise, worry, fear, anger. What in the world... My drunk mind doesn't understand his reaction right away. But when I finally look down to see what he saw, I rip my jacket out of his hands and wear it quickly. None of my bruises are fresh and most are healed, but some left nasty scars all over. Neil has small tears at the corner of his eyes when he locks gazes with me. My lower lip trembles. What can I say to him? How can I convince him to keep this a secret? How can I keep him from ruining everything? He cares too much to pretend he hasn't see anything and lying to him is useless. He knows me too well. I'm fucked.
"Hazel... Why? No, how?" he says slowly.
I avoid his insistent stare. "Neil..."
Carefully, he holds my shoulders. His hands are warm through my jacket.
"Who did this? Please, trust me."
I hesitate. I do trust him, of course.
"Okay, but I need you to listen to the whole thing. And... don't tell Parker."
"Haz, this is a lot you're asking for. Parker—" I shush him.
"Parker won't get it. He will put me over himself like always. I can take it for his sake."
Neil seems like he's about to cry.
"What are you even talking about?" he asks with a bit of anger in his voice.
Out of lack of better option, I tell him everything. From scaring Vince's girlfriends, to being wrongly blamed for hurting Eve, to the way Vince and her set me up. At the end of my story, I'm sobbing and he keeps telling me that I didn't deserve this and that he would have done something if he knew sooner.
"There's nothing to be done anymore, Neil. She could ruin Parker. I can't let her do that."
Neil shakes his heas vigorously. "You can't let her hurt you."
I smile softly in fondness. "She hasn't done it in a while. As long as I stay away from Vince, I'll be alright."
"I can't believe he would have done this to you," he says, eyes shiny with tears.
I laugh, sorry for myself.
"How come?" I ask for the sake of asking, not really thinking it through.
"Well, we joked about how much you liked him often. He seemed... flattered, respectful almost. I wouldn't have expected him to hurt you like this, deliberately. I thought you were like a sister to him," he explains and I regret asking.
I don't want to know how great he is. I don't want to know how odd it is that he hurt me because he did, without any second thought. You wouldn't hurt your little sister like this. Nothing makes sense but I don't want to think about it.
"It's stifling in here," I mumble.
The bathroom is a small room with way too red walls. It's warm and it smells like vomit, piss and alcohol. Not the best place to cry broken hearts. I wash up under Neil's gentle gaze.
"Let's get out of here, alright?" he offers, a hand on my waist to keep me steady.
"Okay."
We walk out and up to the table. The players and cheerleaders are now playing Never Have I Ever. We arrive just in time to see Vince drink to a player's sentence. Never have I fallen in love, was the sentence.
"We'll get going if that's alright?" Neil asks Parker, who nods.
We're showered with more or less sober goodbyes while Vince and Eve just glare. Vince at Neil, Eve at me. As we make our way into the streets of the suburbs, I try not to think about the fact that Vince has, despite not believing in love, fallen in love at some point. Worse, he's admitting it? Did he lie to me the first time around? Why tell the truth now? To torture me further? How cruel. I let Neil hold me tighter and closer. I need it.