A/n: Yay! We've made it to 400 reads. Thank you guys for reading so far and sorry for my unannounced absences. I hope you have all enjoyed the book so far. Here's another chapter :D
The carriage slowed to a stop in Ryevost. We all got out and made our way to the back of the carriage where we watched the Sun Summoner, Alina, break open the lock of the box on the back of the carriage.
As she opened the lid she scanned the four of us over.
She hopped out and held her hands up.
"We don't want any trouble." Jesper said.
"Neither do I, so I'll just be on my way." She returned.
Alina looked young. My age, maybe younger.
She turned to walk away, but Kaz swiftly brought up his cane, blocking her path.
"Clearly, you want out of East Ravka. But we can help you." Jesper said.
She looked over at me and Inej. We nodded, assuring her that she would be okay if she came with us.
It was almost like a secret code amongst women.
"We have a secure route through the Fold." Jesper continued.
"I prefer to travel alone." Alina replied.
"Don't be rash." Jesper countered. "You stick with us, everybody gets what they want."
"I'm not being anyone's captive ever again." She stated. "So step aside and let me pass."
"I'm afraid we can't let that happen." Kaz said.
I had to physically bite my tongue to stop myself from telling them to let her go, I know what the reward meant to everyone, I couldn't just take it away from them, no matter how much I understood how Alina was feeling and that she almost needed us to let her go.
Alina quickly blinded Jesper and Kaz, but me and Inej shielded our eyes.
She turned to us, ready to blind us too, Inej held up her hands in surrender, I risked being blinded by motioning for her to run.
I knew Inej would understand and I couldn't just let Alina continue to suffer under the control of someone.
I'd been in her shoes, I knew how it felt. And I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
I just hoped she wouldn't get caught. As much as she needed to be free, I needed her to be free.
She could change the world, I knew she could, but not under the Darkling's control.
Even if Kaz got mad at me for letting her go, it was the right thing to do.
Kaz was insistent on finding the Sun Summoner. So we split into two groups; I went with Jesper since I was still mad at Kaz and Inej went with Kaz.
"Have you seen a girl; dark hair, grey duster, like yea high, Shu-ish?" Jes asked one of the men in the market.
I strongly disapproved of searching for Alina, but I wasn't going to tell the others, they needed this money.
——
Once we'd failed to find her, we made our way to a bar where we joined Kaz at one of the tables.
Not long after me and Jes had sat down, Inej entered the bar.
"No horses missing in the stable, so..." She trailed off.
Kaz stared at his drink as he tapped his fingers on the wooden table. "So?"
"What?" Me and Inej whispered at the same time.
"Are you two going to tell us how the target got away?"
Inej looked down at the table and Kaz made eye contact with me.
I opened my mouth to tell him the truth, but closed it.
"Tell me!" Kaz demanded after our silent answers.
"We let her go." I said quietly.
"You what?"
"We let her go!" I raised my voice as much as I could without people noticing.
"You were hired to do a job." I could tell Kaz was angry from his tone.
"Yes, the job was to pick up a fake for an easy million Kruge, but you sent me in with a crazed man we'd known for a mere few days and expected me to be able to kidnap the fake without Arken killing me too?" I answered him, surprisingly calmly. "We found a living saint who can summon the sun."
Kaz maintained his eye contact with me as he had throughout our conversation so far.
"A good magician is a good con artist." He said as he pulled out a coin. "The trick is to make it look real." He made the coin disappear.
"This is different." I said, trying not to yell. "You saw her summon with your own eyes."
"The best illusions are the most convincing. That's the game." Kaz responded.
He was really good at making me mad.
"You can hide behind your cynicism, but I believe she's the real thing." I told him.
"I don't see you falling to your knees to worship every Heartrender, or Squaller we meet." He answered.
"This is different. Her power is a miracle. There are hundreds of Heartrenders and Squallers, but only one Sun Summoner. You don't pick the most abundant flowers, you pick the unique, one of a kind flowers." I argued.
"Pious as that may be, we cannot work effectively as a crew of you're making decisions based on religious zeal."
"Is that a threat to return me to Heleen and turn Elora in?" Inej spat from next to me.
"Either we get the target, or Heleen gets the Crow Club and Pekka gets whatever's left." Kaz answered.
"Wait. Why would Heleen get the Crow Club?" I asked Kaz.
I was staring him dead in the eyes, searching for an answer.
Instead of answering Kaz stood up and walked away.
"Kaz." I called, but he ignored me.
"What did you do?" I whispered under my breath.
I almost forgot how mad I was at him out of the concern I now had.
——
"We just settled our tab with the last of our coin." I told Jes and Kaz as me and Inej sat down at the their table.
"We're really going to leave empty handed then?" Jesper asked, even though he already knew the answer.
Suddenly, an explosion sounded from outside.
"Our alarm." Jesper said.
"Split up, much easier to take a Grisha one on one than a whole squad of them. Rendezvous at the fountain." Kaz instructed.
We made our way out of the bar where four Grisha spotted us.
The four of us ran, each in a different direction, each with a Grisha on our tail.
I ran into what seemed to be a boiler room. I heard the Inferni come in.
I jumped out from my hiding place and attempted to stab her.
I know I said I was off killing, but this was a life or death situation.
The Inferni threw a ball of fire at me. I ducked and it hit one of the boilers, causing a slight explosion.
I was thrown backwards onto a pile of coals, a searing pain shooting through my abdomen. I had a gash on the lower-ish right side of my abdomen. It was bleeding, so I put pressure on it.
The Inferni had neared my hiding place and just as she turned around I shot up from my crouching position and dug my knife into her gut.
"I'd wait until a Healer's close by before you pull this out. Or, you'll bleed out in thirty seconds." I advised the Inferni.
If I had to stab her, I could at least tell her how to survive. This way, it'd be her fault if she died.
"Barrel trash." She spat. "I will track you down and kill everyone that you love and then you."
"In that case, I'll take my knife back." I pulled my knife out of her gut and watched her collapse to the floor as the life drained from her eyes.
I hobbled out of the boiler room and took a piece of cloth from a nearby vender.
I lifted up my shirt and tied it around my abdomen and wound before making my way to the rendezvous point.
I tried my best to hide my injury from the others as they arrived.
"The Inferni, she's dead." I said through teeth gritted in pain.
I'd bandaged my wound as best I could and I wasn't bleeding enough to bleed out for days yet.
I knew I couldn't manage horseback, so I suggested the Darkling's carriage that was behind Kaz. "That's a pretty nice ride. Why don't we take that?"
"Yes, indeed it is." Jesper agreed.
I hobbled after the others as they made their way towards the carriage.
"Oh, hello." Jesper greeted the Grisha inside the carriage as he swung open the doors.
The Grisha threw the book he was reading at Jesper and scrambled to get out the other side.
Not so fortunate for him, Kaz was waiting for him and knocked him out with his cane.
"He threw a book at me." Jesper said as he hopped out of the carriage.
I managed to get into the carriage without crying out in pain.
Then, we were on our way.
——
We'd stopped at an old, abandoned farm. The only building still standing was an old barn and even that looked like even the slightest breeze would bring it tumbling down.
"Is this all we have left?" Inej asked as Kaz set our remaining things on the table.
No one answered, we all knew the answer.
"This is just a rest stop." Kaz said.
"Where are we headed next?" Jesper asked.
"Ketterdam."
Silence.
"Between our dwindling funds, lack of time and conflicting interest, it's time we cut our losses."
You could feel the disappointment in the room.
Kaz turned and let the barn.
I could tell he was upset.
"I'll go talk to him." I said as I followed him outside.
He had started a fire and was sitting next to it.
I sat down next to him.
We sat in silence for a few moments before Kaz spoke. "If I'd known Arken was going to kill the fake, I never would have sent you with him."
"Then why'd you send me with him in the first place?" I questioned.
"I didn't trust him to do the job, but I trusted you."
"Really-" I started, but Kaz cut me off.
"Please don't make me feel any more guilt than I already do."
"What do you mean?"
"You don't think I don't feel guilty about almost getting you killed? I saw how upset it'd made you. And I'm sorry for putting you in a position like that."
"It's alright, there's no way you could've known and I should have realized that sooner."
We sat in silence once more.
"I know you felt guilty about what happened with Arken, but even before that you've been acting strangely around me." I wanted an answer as to why he'd been acting so weird.
He didn't say anything.
"Kaz?"
Silence.
"Kaz, tell me."
"I love you."
"What?" I wasn't sure I'd heard him right.
"I'm in love with you and have been for a while." Kaz admitted.
"How long?"
He took a deep breath before answering my question. "I started gaining feelings for you about a month before we got this job."
That explained why he'd started calling me Lora more often, why he seemed to feel the need to protect me and maybe...
I opened my mouth to speak, but closed it. Something had clicked. Why I'd felt tingles through my body when he'd brushed my hand in Dreesen's basement, why I felt safe around him, why I trusted him more than anyone else...
I was in love with Kaz Brekker.
I'd just been denying it.
"I- I love you too." I blurted out.
Kaz seemed flustered, the first time I'd ever seen him anything remotely close to flustered.
"Can I hug you?" Kaz asked somewhat sheepishly.
I reached up to hug him, I had to stand on my tip toes and lift my head so I wouldn't suffocate in his chest.
The disadvantages of being short.
As soon as we embraced pain shot through my body from my wound.
I winced at the pain, failing to conceal that I was injured this time.
Kaz held me by the shoulders. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing-"
It was too late to lie, his eyes had made their way to my wound where the blood had started to soak through my shirt.
"What happened, how long has this been here?" He demanded.
"I was injured when fighting the Grisha." I said quietly.
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"I didn't want to worry you guys. I'm fi-"
"You're not fine!" He put an arm around me and helped me back to the barn.
I was actually somewhat grateful he noticed, I was starting to feel a bit faint.
I sat down on a pile of hay.
"What happened?" Jesper asked, worry lacing his tone.
"She got injured fighting the Grisha and didn't tell us." Kaz answered.
"I didn't want to worry you guys." I pressed.
Inej handed me my bag.
I pulled out a needle and thread.
I lifted my shirt to reveal the blood soaked cloth I had used to conceal my wound.
Jesper gagged as I pulled it off.
"How long were you planning to hide this?" Inej asked.
"Until Ketterdam." I said quietly.
"How long until you can travel?" Kaz asked.
He was trying to mask his worry, I could tell. I could always tell.
"Not long." I answered, hoping that was true.
"Are we really just going to give up?" Jesper said.
"Jes, you know I don't want to, but we don't have enough money." I replied.
"Isn't there a way?"
We all just stayed quiet.
I grabbed the needle and thread and began to sew up my wound.
Jesper gagged, again.
"You can watch a bullet tear through a man, but a needle's too much?" I asked Jes.
"It- Yeah, well you see, bullets are bam in and out. That's- that's just eugh!" He gagged.
I rolled my eyes and continued to stitch myself up.
"What would you have done, if we'd gotten the money." Jesper asked me. "I know what I would do, I know what Inej would do, but El, what would you do?"
"I'd buy back the Crow Club." I looked at Kaz. "And if Kaz beats me to it, I'll save my money. Save it until a rainy day."
"There's a lot of those in Ketterdam." Jesper added.
"Wouldn't you leave, like Inej plans to?" Kaz asked me.
"No, my home was with my parents and when they died, my home was with you guys. So I wouldn't leave, where would I even go?"
"You know, you three make it alot harder for me to leave." Inej said.
"I know, I'd miss myself too." I joked. "I'm fantastic."
Jesper laughed.
"So you really wouldn't leave Ketterdam?"
"Unless you guys came with me, no." I answered.
I looked over at Kaz.
"You've been awfully quiet, you alright?" I asked him.
"I feel like I failed you three." He said. "I've lost us the Crow Club and I don't have enough money to pay installments on you and Inej anymore."
"It'll work itself out." I reassured him.
I didn't know that it would, but I hoped.
As dangerous as hope is, I hoped we'd figure things out, that somehow everything would be okay. I could always go back to killing for money. As much as I didn't want to, I would if I had to. I'd much rather just be a pickpocket, but they didn't make as much income as I needed.
——
"Are you hungry?" Kaz asked me as I came out of the barn.
Night had fallen and Kaz had been tending to the fire, cooking what we'd been able to kill.
"Jesper fixed your cane for you." I said handing him his cane, it'd been broken when he had an encounter with the Darkling the night I'd gotten injured.
He just sat there silently looking into the fire.
"Don't be like that." I told him.
"What else is there? Inej is leaving and I can't protect you from the Menagerie."
"Her leaving affects me too and you should know I can handle myself. Whatever need you feel to protect me is sweet, but unnecessary."
"I know you might not think that you need protection and I agree that in most situations you don't, but the Menagerie is not something you can fight off on your own."
"That's why I have you and Jesper. I fought them off once, I can do it again."
"Do you really want to stay, or are you just saying you want to because you don't want to hurt me?"
"I want to stay. You and Jesper gave me a home when I needed one, I'm not about to leave my best friends, or you. Whatever we are now that you've confessed your feelings for me."
"You confessed yours for me too, don't forget."
"Listen, I love you and I'm not about to leave you and Jes. If you and me are going to try and make something out of whatever we have here, then we need to work at it."
I got up and started to head in the direction of the barn.
"You were right!" Kaz called after me.
I stopped walking and turned around to face him again. "About what?"
"The Sun Summoner."
That was one of the last things I expected to hear from him.
"You were right." He repeated. "She's real."
I just stood there, shocked.
Kaz was one of the most stubborn people I'd ever met, it was not like him to admit he was wrong.
I walked back towards the fire and Kaz and sat down next to Kaz.
"I played it over and over in my head. None of it's a trick. The light was hers." He continued.
"So, what? Kaz Brekker finally believes in saints.
"Hardly."
"But you said that-"
"I said that Alina Starkov is a Grisha with the power to manipulate light. She's a girl with a gift, not some saviour of lore." Kaz interrupted me.
I sighed. "Fine. Kaz, if not saints, what do you believe in?"
"Myself and you and Jesper and Inej. My Crows." He answered.
"Because we flock to your bidding? Like the animals of vengeance you named us after?"
"Crows don't just remember the faces of people who wronged them. They also remember the faces of those who were kind. They tell eachother who to look after and who to watch out for. No Saint ever watched over me. Not like you have."
I looked down at my hands, fidgeting in my lap.
Kaz pulled off one of his gloves and set it next to him. He then grabbed my hand with his now bare, gloveless hand.
I looked up at him, into his eyes.
He leaned in to kiss me and I let him.
My eyes were closed when his surprisingly warm lips connected with mine,
After a few moments, he pulled back.
"I won't let anything happen to you." He said.
A/n: I can't describe how much I enjoyed writing this chapter; I tried getting it out to you guys yesterday, but didn't end up having time. The end is a bit cheesy and I'll be honest with you, I cringed a bit, but overall I think this is a pretty good chapter. I'll try to finish up this book soon. I'm nearing the end of the show, so only a few more chapters, but I will continue to update this book once season two is out, don't worry.