Kartik
"Kartik, are you seriously trusting her, again"Sana rolled her eyes in annoyance,sitting at the back seat of the car, beside Arjun and Dev who was busy with his phone.
I eyed her from the rear view mirror, and sighed. "Sana you really don't need to worry about it…i know how betrayed you feel….but trust me, she is the same girl you once accepted from all your heart….."she scrunched her eyebrows and snapped her head in my direction.
"If someone made a mistake….you don't need to hate them forever for it" i added, earning a scoff from her,as she looked away.
"She is right Kartik-"Arjun said, like a henpecked husband, agreeing with his wife.
I rolled my eyes, in annoyance, why can't they understand one thing i am trying to convince them about, she isn't the same who once left me, she loves me! More than anything.
And this time it isn't any sick game she is playing. Six years back, I was immature to understand the fake and real, but not now I guess I'm not a kid anymore, I can tell if she is lying or stating the truth.
Her eyes hold the guilt and love, she knows she made a mistake back then, but it's all over now. She is forgiven but still the guilt in her eyes feels like someone stabbing my heart millions of times non stop. Knowing that the reason for this guilt is me somewhere pressurises the wound.
I shake my head in disbelief " i fucking don't care, you guys are going to meet my wife this time, and i don't want any of you to hurt her, either by actions or words," i started the words in a high pitch warning, and ended up whispering eyeing at the 4 years old Dev, busy playing something in his phone. Thankfully his headphones acted as the barrier, preventing him from hearing anything we were talking about.
"It's all your life Kartik …if you are ready to be hurt again, your choice brother"i looked at the owner of voice beside me, my elder brother, Abhimanyu Malhotra, who gave me a curt nod, agreeing at my words,i smiled weakly at his practicalness.
"But don't forgot what she made you last time"
"Exactly"the two agreed to his words making me lost back into the flashback.
Some hope! Some hope that she still loves me, she can't just leave me like that, there must be some prank, or maybe she must be angry or something. There could be a reason, she blocked me from everywhere, leaving me with no choice other than waiting for her, it's been 2 months, and daily, i wait for her, sitting at pedestal of the stairs of our department building, waiting for her, hoping one day i will see her walking towards me.
But all I meet is disappointment, of not having her anywhere near me, it hurts alot! I am literally nothing but a piece of trash, that's what they call me, the ones who pass by. Seeing me like a beggar, begging for his love. Beard grown, dark circles, turning thinner and paler, day by day.
"Kartik till when are you gonna wait for her, just look at yourself " Arjun said sitting beside me, earning nothing but a cold shoulder from me, but there is a saying that the one who stays with you in every situation is your true friend, Arjun literally proved that. He proved he is a true friend, everyone craves for.
"Kartik-"Sana's disbelieved voice met our ears, gaining our attention, making us look at the face walking towards us, she looks different - a bit healthier. Seems like her sister's wedding was a great success, while on other hand, her best friend's life is a great failure. It's been 3 months, and she is finally here.
Arjun pushed himself up from beside me, and walked towards her, wrapping his arms around her, while my eyes automatically shifted to the path behind them, still waiting for her.
"She won't come-"Sana said, and pulled her phone out of her pocket.
"She is getting married,"she said, showing the digital card on the screen, and this moment, the moment when all the hope shattered in me, as I pulled the phone out of her hand, my eyes tearing up with hurt & pain. My fingers are shivering. My vision blurred as I read the blurred words "Naira weds Kunal" with today's date. This afternoon - today she is getting married, my mind numbed, my breathing stopped, my heart slowed, as I stared at the now blank screen, at my reflection.
My lips pressed in a thin line, "if you would've answered my calls, or checked my messages, you would've known about it long back"she added, taking the phone off my hand .
"She is moving on- you too-"ignoring her words I pushed myself up, literally running towards the parking lot, bumping into the students, even professors on my way, totally in daze of anyone else around me, I rushed towards my bike.
There is still hope.
There is still hope.
Maybe it's forced marriage.
Maybe!
Maybe!
Lots of maybe, very less amount of hope, lots of tears, and lots of fear. I ignored my friends' calls and shouts behind me as I drove towards the only place I wished I would've shown up all these 2 months.
There's time! There's time! There's time!
It's just 11, the marriage is at 2, 1 hour to reach there. I still have time.
I know there is time but still, I am speed riding the bike, not caring about my life, or any other vehicles beside me. All my goal is to reach my destination …that is her.
"Naira" i shouted climbing down my bike, as i looked at the well decorated house in front of me, there are cars with gifts loaded, all set to reach the venue, some cars left, ignoring my shouts for her name, and all i wished was that she wasn't in any of the car.
"Naira '' I shouted, walking towards the main door, and soon a elderly man was standing in front of me, wearing a white sherwani, his hair grey, spectacles resting on his eyes.
A frown formed on his face, as he saw me, and scrunched his nose" who are you?"
It didn't take long to recognise her father, I gulped as I stared at him, no words coming out of my mouth" Naira?"
"How do you know my daughter?"He said and eyed me from up to down, totally unimpressed by the way I look, in those brown boot shoes, blue denims and black shirt, my hair a mess plus the beard, making me look like a hooligan.
"She- she is my girlfriend "kicking the words she is my classmate that held any care of what's gonna happen to her if her father knows about us i told him.
"And you can't make her marry anyone else ….we….we love each other " i said, making his frown deepen. For a while it felt like I was wrong, this isn't the case, but I stuck to what I said, as he stared at me.
"Papa am ready……"the voice, I heard it after so long and a different calmness felt in my mind, my heart, all the restlessness and pain vanished and again came back as I looked at her, fully dressed up- as a bride. But not mine! Not mine!!!
"Do you know him?"her father asked her, gesturing towards me, she followed her father's finger pointed at me, and became pale looking at me, something in me broke, again! Bit by bit she is shattering me now! The person who smiled to fullest seeing me, is now pale looking at me, scared of something.
"He is my classmate…..Kartik"she said slowly, and looked at me, her eyes screaming something. But I was unable to understand what it was, because I was desperate, desperate to hug her after so long, I stepped towards her.
"Naira" but she hid behind her father who came between us. Something in me broke once again! Once again!! This Behaviour hurts a lot! Am scared of what it is turning me on. Because anger is replacing everything, all i want is to pull her out and pin her to the wall, grab her cheeks roughly and ask just one thing "What is your problem"
Which i did, not pulling her out and pinning her but, i simply asked " whaT is your problem " the loud voice made her father step closer to me as a warning,i closed my eyes begging to calm myself down.
And opened them, after a while "Why are you doing this, just tell them you love me and that's it" i said, all time feeling her father's eyes on me, but i care a damn, at this moment all i care was about her.
About her!!
"Do you love him?"Her father's voice hit both our ears, breaking the eyelock between us. And again it felt all oxygen flew Away from me leaving me choking,i waited for her yes!
But after seconds of silence, I saw her shaking her head as a light "No" escaped her mouth.
"He just mistook my very friendly nature as love….."
And the very last thing left in me, that called me a human broke, my heart completely shattered into pieces, she broke it bit by bit, destroying everything i had ,tears stopped flowing and the hurt was replaced by anger, for a while words came in my mind ' oh so your very friendly nature as in kissing, sitting on lap, having sex?'
I wanted to say it loud, loud, louder on mic, but i stood there frozen, staring at her, who didn't looked at me once,
"Kartik-"Out of nowhere Arjun and Sana came behind me holding my hands breaking the numbness.
I said nothing to them, nor to anyone just walked away, not even looking at anyone totally shattered, my humanity broken, my tears dried, my feelings crushed. One 'no' when I hoped (begged) for a 'yes' shattered everything in me.
Bhai was never an important person in my life, until he helped me with what i am today, after that day, for the first time ever, i shared my problems with him,and all he said was " kill them with your success" he is definitely my role model, a father figure to me, whom i love a lot but never confessed. I nodded at him,and stopped the car in front of my house.