˖ ࣪ AGAIN, AGAIN, 𖥔 ࣪ ᥫ᭡
AGAIN. . . !
━━━━━ ( 010. real life )
✶ ・・❛ TEMPORARY, PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A LIE. ❜
( ☾ )
THE ASSEMBLY TAKES UP the rest of the school day so once it's over, it's time for the students to head home for the day. nick and clementine split their ways once it's ended, nick assuring her someone would come to her locker to grab her before they left. clementine dreadfully nodded her head and headed for her locker.
that's where she currently is now. she's grabbing her backpack from inside and crouching down to put her stuff in it when someone comes to stand beside her. she instantly clamps her eyes shut in annoyance for a moment because she knows who it is before they've even opened their mouth.
"catching a ride with us today are you, clem?" chris' teasing voice meets her ears.
she's immediately rolling her eyes before she realizes jax literally does have eyes on her everywhere. she raises her head and turns to see if anyone is focused on chris next to her. he immediately notices and takes his turn to roll his eyes. "chill, will you? the dickheads not gonna see. he left with his friends like five minutes ago," he tells her. she doesn't even bother with a response, just continues putting her stuff into her backpack.
once she's done, she zips it up and closes her locker. she stands up as chris begins speaking again with a click of his tongue, "which, by the way, yikes," he says, making her eyes narrow. "can't believe you're with a guy who won't even give you a ride home."
her look of anger pierces right through him and she gives a sarcastic, tight-lipped smile. "yeah, and whose fault is that, chris?" she remarks, catching sight of his face falling before she turns on her heels and in the direction of the school doors.
chris blinks repeatedly before snapping out of his slight trance and walking to catch up with her. "clem-" he starts before stopping as she opens the door and steps outside. he rolls his eyes and pushes through the same door before it fully closes and steps outside as well. "i'm just saying, you could do better," he continues what he was saying inside, making her turn around to face him, eyes narrowed.
"better like who?" she scoffs. "you?"
he opens his mouth, then closes it, then opens it again. "well," he pauses for a moment before being honest, "ideally yes, but-"
"you're unbelievable," she looks at him in disbelief. he was the one who ended this and left her alone, she deserves better than him! literally what the fuck? she turns back around and begins to glance over all the cars parked, decidedly annoying chris. "where the fuck did matt park?"
"in the very back," chris answers shortly, immediately making clementine groan as she sets her eyes on the car.
"fucking great," she grumbles, beginning to walk in the direction of the parking lot as chris sighs and follows along behind.
"why are you in such a rush? there is no need," chris murmurs as he struggles to catch up with the storming girl in front of him.
"i want to get home already and be away from you so yes," she speaks sarcastically. "there is a need, chris."
"home," chris repeats, not saying anything else for a moment before sighing and adding on, "honestly i feel like if you're catching a ride home with us, might as well stop by our place for a bit like older days."
clementine stops dead in her tracks, abruptly turning around to face him as he raises his eyebrows from how quick she is. "what?" she looks at him like he's an alien.
"to work on the project and get it over with," he continues, a slight upturn to the corner of his lips at her shock of him having the confidence to suggest it. "duh."
clementine blinks. it's actually not that bad of an idea because she could get it over with very quickly and not have to worry about it later, but no. no, no, no. anything chris suggests is an immediate no.
"no."
chris crosses his arms as they now stand in place, raising his eyebrows in challenge. "why?" he starts. "scared to make your boyfriend mad?"
clementines face sours. "no," she quickly answers, her voice harsh. "i just don't want to be around you, you fucking idiot."
chris just shakes his head. the nerve he fucking has is beyond her. "nah," he shrugs. "i think you don't want to come over because you know if you spend too much time with me, you'll-"
"what?" she cuts him off with a scoff, seeing where this is going and finding it absurd. "fall back in love with you?"
chris looks at her in surprise like he didn't expect her to actually finish what he was thinking which almost makes her laugh dryly in his face. after he's recovered, he regains his hard exterior. "well," he sighs. "that's the goal, yeah."
clementines eyes flame with anger at the audacity he has to try and say nonchalant shit like that. "you're fucking unbearable," she exclaims. "you can't just randomly wake up one day and decide to do all this! i've moved on, chris."
"moved on with the douchebag who left you to get a ride home with me?" he looks at her in disbelief. "yeah, i'm sure you have."
clementines eyes narrow. yes, jax left her to do exactly that, but that doesn't get to decide how their entire relationship is perceived! "why is it so hard for you to believe that i can be happy with someone else after you?" she asks harshly, catching him off guard for a moment.
he stares at her for a moment, not expecting that question, before snapping back into it. he takes a determined step towards her, her watching him take the movement with eyes that have practically formed as slits. "because i know you only got with him to get under my skin," he breathes coldly, her heart dropping a bit in her chest from the topic she's been avoiding. "and you fucking have," he continues on, doing his job in rekindling the fire of anger still burning in her chest. "so you can stop now."
"oh so what if i did?" she scoffs, his eyebrows immediately raising to his forehead, not expecting her to admit to something he just assumed. "that was months ago, chris. time has passed since then and things have fucking changed!" she yells, taking a breath afterwards to calm herself before her next words. "he makes me happy," he scoffs and she ignores it. "you might not think so, but he's good to me, and i-"
"what?" chris cuts her off, anger boiling in his eyes just as much as hers. she's taken aback by his frustration as he continues mockingly, "you love him?"
her heart drops a little. that's the one thing she hasn't been able to say to jax. he's said it to her but she hasn't found it in herself to express the same feelings as him. it's the one thing she's the most insecure about when it comes to their relationship.
she doesn't even get a chance to respond because chris sees it written all over her face. "you fucking don't, clementine," he answers for her, catching her slightly off guard by the use of her full name. even though the nickname leaving his lips has only ever made her angry recently, she still falters at the sound of it not being used.
she builds up a fake exterior and tries to lie, huffing at him as if he's absurd for saying that. "yes, i d-"
"no," he cuts her off, not having any of it. his voice is so set in stone it honestly has her taking a step back from him. he takes the step forward for her though, maintaining their close proximity. "i've seen you in love," he enthuses, pausing for a moment. "with me," he says harshly, the words shooting right through her. "the shit you have with him doesn't compare. what we had was love, now you're just settling for trash with that dickhead."
clementines sure her heart falls to her fucking ass. the mention of their past and every thing they used to have has always been enough to make her emotional. she almost feels the urge to cry, to storm off, or to put her hands over her ears and sing 'la la la' to block him out. she doesn't though, because she's determined to not let him effect her like this anymore.
she takes in a sharp breath before shaking her head repeatedly. "no. you don't get to fucking say that," she starts, taking a step toward him and beginning to shove her finger at his chest for a sense of security within herself. he glances down at the touch and then back at her as she talks with fury written all over her face. "what we had wasn't love. you don't know the first fucking thing about love," she says, watching as his face falls. all she feels from it is satisfaction. "the only love you've ever given is a lie—a temporary, pathetic excuse of a lie. the same 'love' you're so hellbent on reviving, is the one you threw away straight into the fucking dumpster."
hurt is plastered all over his face and despite the part of herself screaming to take the words back and apologize for the damage they've done just so that look will go away, she doesn't. she stares at him coldly, determined to give him a taste of his own medicine after all he's put her through.
he eventually takes in a deep breath and looks down to her finger still shoved at his chest. he wraps his hand around it and looks back up to her as he pulls it off his chest. "no, okay, look—just listen to me for a second," he tries, desperation in his voice that clearly wasn't there before. out of all the attempts he's put in with talking to her, this pleading has never been present until now. it almost makes her want to soften and crumble her hard exterior. "i was being stupid. my dumb mistake doesn't get to write over every thing we had as a lie. clem, i—"
"stop," she breathes before he can continue, pulling her hand out of his grip and shaking her head. "stop talking and stop calling me that."
his face falters but he tries again, "okay but—i'm sorry. just—"
"chris," she cuts him off, her voice a stern one that gets him to freeze. once he does, she lets out a breath and speaks, "what we had has been over for a long time. you were the one that ended it, and you can't just suddenly fix it. i'm with jax and that's not going to change so please just accept it already." chris is so clearly biting on the inside of his cheek as she talks but she ignores it. "stop trying to bring this back to life when it's been dead for months now."
chris just stares at her, the look in his eyes indecipherable. perhaps last year she would've easily been able to figure out the emotion displayed in his eyes but things, of course, have changed ridiculously since then. he bites his tongue for a second before asking a simple, "do you actually love him?"
"what?" she's completely taken aback.
"do you love jax?"
her breath hitches.
"i do," she answers after a moment of hesitance, her voice coming out quieter.
chris continues to stare at her like he was earlier before suddenly clicking his tongue. he shakes his head slightly and she furrows her brows. "yeah," he mumbles to himself before looking back at her, now giving a tilt of his head. "did you know your nose scrunches up just a tad too much when you lie?"
her face falls completely. "what? no it doesn't," she denies quickly.
despite his previous whirlwind of emotions, he allows himself to smirk at the girl just slightly. "i can read you like a book, clem. always been able to, always will."
she stares at him in disbelief, trying to come up with any words to defend herself. she knows she needs to but when she opens her mouth, nothing is coming out.
the longer she stays silent, the more smug chris' face becomes, and it makes her jaw clench in irritation. how dare he be so fucking smug about that. the sureness in his voice is enough to drive her up the fucking wall.
she eventually scoffs and crosses her arms, determined to somehow not let him win, to not let him effect her any longer. "you know what, chris?" she starts, an idea taking over her mind. her second bad idea of the day. "i will just come with you to your place," she tells him easily, his eyebrows instantly raising in surprise, not expecting that reaction out of anything—before it's ruined by her adding on, "to finish this stupid fucking art piece so i won't have any reason to continue bumping into you any longer."
his face doesn't even fall. she expects it to falter from her harsh words added onto the end, but it doesn't. he just tilts his head at her. "fine by me, clem."
it seems no matter what she does and no matter what she says, it won't get him to back down.
maybe it is best she gets this art project over with now.
💌
lowk short chapter but it's okay bc clem and chris are gonna have to work on their project at CHRIS' HOUSE next chapter 😍😍😍😍😍
also i've realized that this fic will probably only have like the maximum of 30 chapters bc i don't plan on it being as long as idfc or obvious at all, but that just means these chapters will be lengthier and the storyline will be less dragged on so technically this is W news
<3
jaden