A/N- (The topic in the chapter I hold very dear to me and I honestly find it very disturbing. I was very hesitant to put it in but it needed to be done for their character. Do not read if your uncomfortable with the warning later on. Comment if you want me to summarize it)
♰
Your touches felt like fire, and your lips like silk. They warned me that I'd burn if I went too close, and yet the only time it stung was when I lost you.
♰
~Author's POV~
Darkness. The balance of light in every way and yet the only thing that can extinguish it. Jungkook had always thought of that word when he was with Jimin, darkness.
Maybe it was to remind himself of the difference between them, the inevitable reality that just as much as he balanced Jimin, he could hurt him. Or maybe it was to create that familiar wall like he did with everyone else, isolating him so that no possible happiness could touch him.
He deserved it, that's what he would tell himself. He deserved the beatings his father gave him, he deserved his mother dying, and above all he deserved an eternity without someone like Jimin.
An eternity without happiness.
Jungkook knew he was fucked up. Maybe he knew it from the moment Jin's mother met him for the first time, crying because she had never seen so many bruises in her life. Or maybe he knew it when he actually stopped crying, so use to the harsh hits and unpleasant touches that eventually he no longer felt them.
That's what he told himself at least, that he no longer felt them, that he could just keep taking it because eventually if he was lucky his father would kill him.
Jungkook never seemed to be lucky though.
It was why he sat here, drenched in sweat and surrounded by darkness, panting because every time he closed his eyes he'd see his father again.
He'd see her.
Jungkook had nightmares multiple times a week because of his father, but that wasn't what left him like this.
That wasn't what traumatized him.
It had always been her.
(Flashback)
(Warning- Grooming/Pedophelia)
12 years ago
"You will be on your best behavior, do you understand me?" A little Jungkook hears his father hiss, whimpering because of the bruising grip the man currently held on his arm as a result of their argument earlier.
Well it was hardly an argument, but Jungkook knew it didn't take much to anger his father these days.
It had only been a week since his mothers passing and the little boy was absolutely broken. He unfortunately had no time to morn the loss though, because apparently his father was already bringing a new women home.
He knew the man would beat him twice as hard if he cried, but the eight year old couldn't help but let the tears fill his eyes when he heard about the new guest.
It was as if nobody even cared that she died..
"W-What about Mom?" He had questioned, knowing it was the wrong thing to say when his father pulled him by his hair to make them eye level.
"That slut had it coming." Is all he said before throwing him on the ground and walking away.
Jungkook was young, but he immediately knew when he met the women for the first time that there was something unsettling about her.
"I'm Hana." She said in a captivating tone, putting her slender hand in the little boys face as she stared at him with feline eyes.
Jungkook had almost immediately recognized her as one of the women he had seen his dad with. His mother had always taken him and Jennie out of the house when his father chose to have other women over, saying that they weren't the kind of people that were safe for him to be around, but he still caught glimpses of some faces if they were memorable enough.
He definitely remembered her.
Jungkook didn't understand why at the time, but he always noticed she would stare at him. Weather it be shamelessly or secretly, the innocent boy would always catch her black eyes looking at him with a certain intention. It confused him as to why she didn't look at Jennie that way, and why she would always try and get him alone if he was with his twin.
He was too naive to know.
It wasn't until his father started leaving them alone that pieces started falling together, forming everything that he would come to understand.
"Why don't we play a game?" The women asked as they watch a movie in the living room, giving him a kind smile when he excitedly nodded his head.
At this point Jungkook had known her for a couple months, and even though she made him uncomfortable at times he thought she seemed nice over all.
He liked Hana's games.. most of the time.
"Ok." He chirps, facing towards her with a bubbly smile and excited eyes.
"Remember the rules, right Kook?" She asks, smiling when he frantically nods his head.
"Always follow what Hana says, and always keep her games a secret." He recites, giggling when she claps her hands together.
"Very good!" She praises, making him blush in happiness as she looks around to make sure they're alone.
"Okay so today we're gonna play the lie game. Do you remember how to play?" She asks, making Jungkook nod his head once again.
"You say one truth and one lie, and if I guess which ones the lie I get candy!" He giggles.
"Good job Kook. There's a new rule I'm adding though." She says, making him tilt his head in confusion.
"Whenever someone guesses wrong, they have to remove one piece of clothing." She continues with enthusiasm, not failing to notice Jungkook's smile slightly drop.
These were the games he didn't like..
"C-Can't we have a different rule?" He mutters, frowning when she only furrows her brows in response.
"Now Jungkook, what was that rule we talked about earlier?" She asks in a stern tone, raising a brow when he starts to play with the bottom of his overalls in nerves.
"A-Always follow what Hana says." He whispers, looking back up at her with sad eyes.
"Exactly. And what happens if we don't follow Hana's rules?" She continues, slightly smirking when fear immediately fills his big doe eyes.
"Y-You'll tell father." He hesitantly mutters, picking at one of his buttons when she only nods her head in response.
"Okay, so let's start." She says, putting a finger on her chin in exaggerated thought. "I'm twenty-five, or my favorite animal is a cat. Which ones the lie?" She asks, analyzing him as his face contorts into confusion.
She had never told him her age, or what her favorite animal was..
Jungkook tried, he tried really hard to pick the right one because he didn't want the punishment. After all he had a fifty-fifty shot, but it was still a shot in the dark since she chose such a difficult question. She looked younger than his father so it would make sense, but it's also not unusual for people to like cats.
"I-Is the lie that your twenty-five?" He mutters after a minute, biting his lip when she laughs and shakes her head.
"Nope, my favorite animal isn't a cat, its a dog." She smiles, noticing the way Jungkook doesn't smile with her.
He gets the hint when she takes a pale finger and swipes it on the strap of his overalls, pulling it over his shoulder slightly so he knows what she wants.
He says nothing as he stands up and pulls the material off his small shoulders, hesitantly letting the pants pool at his feet when he realizes she won't look away anyway.
She never does.
He immediately sits down when he's in nothing but a striped shirt and underwear, shifting uncomfortably when she only continues to rake her eyes over his pale legs.
He never understood why she wanted him to take off his clothes.. but he knew better than to question it.
"Your turn." Hana says after a minute, finally taking her eyes off his body so that she can look up at him again. She knows that he's getting uncomfortable by the way he's fidgeting, but she can't bring herself to care.
"Okay.. My favorite food is ice-cream, or my favorite color is purple." He says, slightly smiling when she seems to be stuck on an answer.
Jungkook should've known that she wanted to get it wrong though..
"The lie is that your favorite food is ice cream." She says innocently, knowing full well that he would always sneak ice cream out of the freezer when his dad wasn't looking.
"That's true..." He whispers, looking away when she starts to take her pants off without hesitation.
He really didn't like this game..
It's only when he feels something cold on his thigh that he looks back at her, gasping when he sees her hand on his bare skin.
"W-What are you doing?" He says, trying to pull away when she only scoots closer.
"It's okay. I'll let you touch me if I can touch you." She offers, harshly squeezing the flesh and making a small whine leaves his lips.
"I-I don't want to." He whimpers, once again trying to pull away from her. Tears fill his eyes when he feels a sudden sting on his arm, knowing by the tingly feeling that she had just slapped him.
"If you don't want me to tell your father you'll let me." She hisses, her sweet tone from earlier long gone and replaced by a much harsher one.
"Take them off." She continues, pulling at his shirt while quiet sobs start to leave his lips.
"I don't want to.. I-I'm scared." He subconsciously says, repeating the words over and over again while her grip on his leg only tightens.
"I swear I'll go upstairs and get Jennie if you don't stop fucking whining. Would you rather it be her?" Hana tilts her head, smirking when Jungkook only shakes his head, continuing to cry as he eventually grabs the bottom of his shirt with shaky hands.
'Please.' He says one last time, preying that someone, something will save him.
He only receives silence.
(Flashback Over)
Throughout the years it had went from unpleasant touches to forceful ones, and the more she made him do the less he fought back, eventually becoming numb to the reality that his body would become a tool for her pleasure.
Jungkook enjoyed sex, but only with other people. Everytime he had to do it with her he felt revolted, feeling sick to his stomach when he remembered her touches.
She thankfully hadn't made him do such things until he reached a more mature age, but nothing could've prepared him for that first time.
It was sickening.
He knew his father probably knew about it, the man walking in on her multiple times during her acts, but he didn't care.
Him and Jungkook never spoke of it.
Jungkook started to feel like he was going insane at the age of fifteen. Constantly enduring the abuse from his father and sexual assault from her, his mind started to shut down on him, and that's why he became the way he was.
It's why he became so cruel.
Jungkook may be rude now, but it was nothing compared to how he was. The raven had completely shut down on the world, even cutting Jin off for a year when it got to be too much.
Jennie tried to help him, but she didn't know what the root of the problem was. She didn't know how to fix him, and every time she asked about it he would just stay silent. It seemed like he just stopped speaking all together.
It seemed like Jungkook had become a ghost..
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🌸Hello Children🌸
DARK CHAPTER. Ik I'm sorry, but I honestly felt I needed to put this in order to develop some of the things to come later.
I told y'all this would be a dark story, but I still apologize if this made you uncomfortable.
I'll build a little on this next chapter, but I promise I won't talk about it too much more.
Was this chapter okay, what are y'all's thoughts rn?
Anyway I love yall
🌺See yaaaa;)🌺