• no pulse •
The guards actually allowed me access to the basement without having me telling them to. I met Elio down a corridor and he was talking to some guy. He dismissed him the minute he saw me.
"What are you doing here?" He asked confused.
"I want to see Gabriel." I responded.
"But you told Gio—"
"I know. Is he still alive?" I cut him off not wanting to waste any second.
"Follow me." Elio said. I followed him through the corridors looking at the different cells with people I have fought along and against. How can they sleep in a house where people who want to kill them are just downstairs? They are not the only mafia to have a basement full of prisoners and they are weird as fuck for it because that's what warehouses are for.
We finally reached a high security cell and I knew we reached Gabriel. And finally I'm inside. All of my brothers were there discussing something but they stopped when they saw me. I looked at Gabriel.
There he was. I can see him through the glass, he can't see me because it's a mirror on his side. He looks so bad. They messed him up really really bad.
"Morana.." Milo spoke but he didn't have anything to say. "Don't be here."
But I needed to say goodbye.
"No, I want to talk to him." I said still looking at Gabriel. "I need to."
"Morana, are you sure?" Gio asked me and I nodded.
"I will go in alone." I said.
"No—"
"I'm going alone." I cut Kieran off.
And I did go into the room alone. But I knew my brothers can hear and see us. I didn't care.
Gabriel lifted his head and our eyes met and a smile made its way to his lips. "Morana." He muttered my name. "My beautiful girl."
[A/N: their conversation is in french but I'm lazy so you're only getting the translations. Love you <333]
I sat down on the floor facing him, leaning my back on the wall. You know, I just realised that I'm terrified of him. I just realised how much my body resented him. Goosebumps spread throughout my body. But I didn't let my fear show instead I expressed the betrayal I felt.
"I'm sorry." He apologised and I almost didn't believe my ears. "I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry." They tortured him that bad?!? Holy fuck they got a mafia boss apologising! Not once, not twice but thrice!
Moments of us staring at each other's passed. Before I decided to speak.
"I remember," A stupid tear rolled down my cheek. "When I was six and we were at the mall. I remember asking you... if I can call you dad."
And he started crying. I froze . And then my own tears followed, I was crying but silently. And I didn't mind seeing him cry but that small part of me...
"And you said yes. And I kissed your cheek. And I hugged you thanking you again and again and again. And I thought your were my hero. I thought you were my dad."
And he started sobbing. And I know he loved me. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
"Then you caught me killing your father. You asked me why. I told you why. You told me that he deserved it. You told me to never let anyone touch me like that again. You told me you were gonna help me. And you helped me."
"Please, I'm sorry. Please."
"And I loved you then. And I told you 'thanks dad' and you hugged me and let me sleep in your room because I had nightmares—"
"Stop please. I'm sorry. Morana. I'm sorry—"
"And I felt safe with you. I felt so safe that the first time you touched me, I thought it was a nightmare then it happened again and I thought it was still a nightmare—"
"Please stop!"
"—And again and again and again and I thought I was going crazy. But then I asked you if you touched me and you said yes and you asked me if I liked it and I said no and then you told me that I will learn to like it because that's how we raise young girls to be strong and I told you that I don't like it and I told you that you looked like your father but you told me that you loved me and you won't touch me if it's not good for me and I trusted you."
"I'm sorry."
"But then I stopped sleeping in your room when I knew they weren't nightmares so you got angry at me and you punished me and I didn't love you anymore—"
"I'm a sick man Morana, I love you I swear, but I'm sick, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."
"And then you bought me gifts and took me on trips and gave me all I ever wanted and acted like my father and then I was loving you again and then I believed you when you said it's for my own good."
"I'm so sick. Morana. I'm so sick."
"And I thought it was okay. I thought it was normal. But then I grew up and now I hate you more than anything."
"I'm sorry please.."
"I called you dad. I woke up from a nightmare and I ran to you. I thought you were my hero." I got up. "I don't forgive you. I hate you. I want you dead. Gabriel do you hear me? I hate you! I hate you! I swear... I hate you more than anything in life. Gabriel, I hate you!"
"Stop! Please I'm sorry stop!—"
"Gabriel I hate you so much—"
"I love you. I love you more than anything. You're my daughter! I raised you. I'm all you are today. You look like me in many ways Morana and I love you and I'm sorry and I know I'm a sick man and I made mistakes but I love you, I'm just so sick... please."
"I..." I smiled at him. "I don't forgive you and never will. And I hate you. I hate you Gabriel."
He's sobbing.
"I hate you."
"Stop torturing me! Stop!"
"I hate you." I turned my back ready to leave. "I can't forgive you for my life."
"I'm sorry. I love you." He said and I was starting to leave when he stopped me. "Morana, sweetheart. Listen to me just right now... please... let me make things right...My sweet angel... your eyes are the most beautiful things in the world, I told you to hide them so people wouldn't know that you're related to Giovanni."
I put my hand over my mouth trying to silence a sob that nearly broke out of me.
He said my eyes are beautiful.
"You are so beautiful. And I'm so proud of you. You did so good in the war." He sighed. "I know you think I'm the bad guy— and I am— but I swear that I tried to stop doing that to you but I was sick, I was addicted, I'm sick and I don't enjoy hurting you, I swear I love you like a daughter. Morana you need to believe me, you have to. I don't want you to forgive me it's okay but know that I would do anything for you— if I only wasn't sick... I'm sorry." He sobbed and he was hurt but never nearly as hurt as me. "Can you look at me one last time?"
And I did and I found the Gabriel I love looking back at me. The one that I called dad. The one that I still care for. Not the monster but the one who taught me how to write and read.
The voices in my head! Someone makes them stop please! Please!
"I love you. I'm sorry my pretty girl. I couldn't be the father you deserved."
I was sobbing I think.
"Why?" I broke down. "I loved you Gabriel. Why did you like hurting me? I called you dad!"
"I know I'm sorry I swear, I regret it all. I regret everything."
"I can't forgive you."
"It's okay." He nodded not crying anymore, he was smiling softly at me. "You can find it on my desk, the location of your mother's grave." My eyes widened. "You're not born to kill Morana, you're not a monster... you're sweet and kind and full of life and love."
"I prayed day and night to change. I didn't want to be like this." He said. "But I am and I hurt you and I don't deserve your forgiveness. And honestly my life without you isn't worth living so I'm happy to die so I don't hurt you anymore."
"Now I want you to leave and forget all about me and be you." He said. "And Morana... never let anyone touch you the way I did, if anything like that happens again you tell your brothers, okay? And you can't cut yourself— Morana forget everything I taught you. And your mother's death isn't your fault—"
"Don't—"
"Right, we don't talk about her. I just want you to know that I love you and I didn't want to hurt you. And you're a good person Morana, you are good. You are my life and without you it will end now. I'm sorry again."
I laughed.
I bursted out laughing. Does he think that saying all this nice shit to me will make me hate him less?!? If anything it's making me feel angrier!
"Morana... calm down." He knew me too well. He looked so scared. My vision became clearer which means I stopped crying and the shade of my red eyes is probably ten times lighter and more terrifying.
I couldn't control myself. I lunged at him. Hitting him. Destroying him. Wanting him to feel what I'm feeling.
And when I made him feel pain,
I felt peace.
I.
Felt.
Peace.
Most people are scared of robots. They created them to help them, to be smart but not smarter. Humankind needs to feel superior, creating and creating but always careful not to create something stronger, something better. Because what if robots turn on them?
Gabriel spent his entire life trying to control me fearing of me turning on him. I was his biggest accomplishment, yet his biggest fear. And by god, he has all the rights to be scared of me. Because I'm smarter, I'm better, I'm stronger.
"Your name is Morana, you're a french assassin, you're loyal to the French mafia and the french mafia only, you are born and will die for it." I said the words I heard plenty of times. "My name is Morana, I'm a french assassin, I'm loyal to the French mafia and the French mafia only, I am born and I will die for it." I said the words I said plenty of times.
"MORANA!" Dom's voice reached me and finally I had control over my body again. He was behind me, I dropped Gabriel's body since I apparently was pressing him against the wall and he was unconscious.
I took a step back. My heart beat is so loud even the deaf can hear it. I started breathing heavily on the verge of a panic attack. I didn't want to kill him. I couldn't and I shouldn't and I didn't want to kill him. Oh my god I want to kill myself.
"Oh no no no no." I repeated shaking my head tears spilling from my eyes again. I didn't want to kill him. I didn't want to betray the French mafia even more by killing its boss.
Dom advanced Gabriel's body and put his fingers on his neck checking for a pulse. I'm not a believer but at that moment I prayed he's still alive. Dom turned his head to me. "He's still alive, Morana, you didn't kill him." He said and I let out a breath of relief. He grabbed his jaw and snapped his neck killing Gabriel, getting him out of my life once and for all. "I killed him." Dom said to me again. I nodded relieved.
"Thank you." I thanked him, he knew I did not want to kill him. He nodded. I owe him big fucking time.
Dom got away from Gabriel's body and walked slowly towards Morana, careful not to make her feel threatened. She blinked a few times as if to gain control and her red eyes went back to their regular colour. I let out a sigh of relief. Dom didn't try to ask her about how she's feeling since it's really obvious. Instead he took her hand in his gently and led her out of the torture room, towards us. Morana smiled at us, her smile was off but we didn't comment.
"How about you freshen up and we do something together?" Elio asked her as if everything's okay. She nodded. "I really don't want to be alone right now." She said. Elio didn't touch her as they left.
"Holy fuck." I muttered. "I have never seen anyone losing control like that." I said. "It's fucking concerning Gio, what are you going to do about it?" I asked him.
"Morana has been fighting all of her life, Adriano, she's been betrayed and lied to, she's been tortured and abused. Nothing I can do can undo all that damage." Gio answered me honestly even though I didn't want his honesty right now and preferred that would reassure me.
"Maybe time will heal her, let's try not to bring violence inside our home, at least not around her." Milo added.
"We're as fucked up as her, how can she lose it like that?!" Kieran exclaimed.
"Kieran, you started killing at the age of what? Thirteen? The girl has been killing since she can remember. I started at ten. But I always had a warm home to return to, I had you guys, I had father. She had no one, couldn't trust a single person." Gio argued.
"Guys." Dom called out catching our attention, he looked nervous as he scratched the back of his neck.
"What?" I asked when Dom took too long to speak.
"I didn't kill Gabriel." He finally said. Oh fuck. "There was no pulse, she killed him." Oh shit.
"She won't find out." Gio said decisively. "Dom, you killed Gabriel, got it?"
"Yes sir." He responded. Gio walked towards him and patted him shoulder. Dom did a good job pretending to be the one who killed him.
M O R A N A
A/N: ah so happy I finally finished this chapter and done with Gabriel, now the story will get ten times more fun!!!