Dear Diary,
This will be my last entry. You have been like my heart. Here I have written down all my thoughts and feelings, but I now have someone else whom I can share those things with. When we had our deep talk a few weeks ago, I told him about how I realised my feelings and all the pain it put me through. I'm going to show you to him. I want him to understand.
These few weeks have been great. When we are together the world feels even brighter than it was before. He lets me stare at his sun-kissed skin as we play in the creak. I trace outlines of star constellations between his freckles. He is beautiful and I get to be the one that makes him smile when I tell him.
We still keep a low profile and behave like we did before so no one gets suspicious. Thankfully, he's always been a very outgoing person so no one questions when he gets a bit touchy. It does hurt me a little when he does it to others, but I know that it is different when he does it to me.
The world is still bright around him. Maybe I was wrong about Heaven? Heaven loves him and he loves me. I hope that we never end and one day we'll be able to move away and express ourselves freely.
When we are in private, we have also started wearing our matching rings on our ring fingers. It's a little big since it's not meant for that finger, but one day, I hope to put a real wedding band there. I want to wake up in his brightness every day.
I can't risk my parents ever finding this book. If they knew what I was doing, or if I had these feelings... I have started to become more wary around them. My dad has been faster to lay a hand on me lately and I worry it's because he knows the truth. After all, he never says why. My mum just stands in the corner and watches. They've always watched closely when he's been around. I need to keep him safe. If my parents ever learnt the truth, I fear for what they'd do. I can't let them harm him. He is too pure for their dirty hands.
Heaven seems to have accepted his actions towards me. But if my parents were to do anything to him, I worry if the sky would stay so bright. I hope that Heaven will deny my parents. They don't deserve to go to a place so beautiful as him. He belongs there and I dream I do too— there with him.
I no longer wish to be sent away to be 'fixed', I want to be who I am and the real me doesn't need 'fixing'. Love is love and I love him.
There is a loose brick in the wall under the basement stairs so I'm going to hide this book there. I'm going to give him the key because he is the key to my heart. The key to my happiness. The key to me wanting to live.
He is my angel.