When I was a child, I loved the words of romance that I would hear from my loving mother's voice. She tells tales of love and happy endings where the princess witnesses the birth of true love after a life of simplicity. It always captures my heart, the moving words that keeps on causing my heart to leap in excitement as I read the words I love you upon the parchment paper that has a unique scent only found in new novels. I was a sucker for such stories. Stories that move my heart.
"Mama! will I be able to experience true love someday?"
I asked that question to my mother. One who smiled and gently caressed my head, showing me affection that a mother has for her child. It was a warm feeling that I knew I would never forget.
"One day, my child, you will be able to... Your heart, which will be locked with a key, would be opened in the future. Look forward, child, never look back or down."
Mother knew of what I was going through
Mother knew what was going on at school. Yet we could do nothing about it. There was no world at all where I wouldn't experience such a thing no matter what path I choose.
In this world, human beings are selfish individuals. Those whom they think are superior are the ones they despise. Out of the sheer need to gain the life they wished. I was loved, I was desired, I was sought after and in the height of it all, a few grew to hate me.
It matters not if I show them kindness, nor does it matter if I showed them humility.
As their greed fester into their hearts, one could only know how long it would be till they start getting ideas to turn their hatred into something much more destructive. Their hatred for me, and their desire to gain the eyes of all.
Then my chivalrous heart could only bare to watch as someone near and dear to me was then targeted by these individuals. My heart couldn't ignore this person, and so I stepped in to save them. But this action just gave them a reason to target me instead.
Everyone knows who I am yet no one knows what happened in one of the chapters in my life that led me to become me.
For what it's worth, ever since a specific incident occurred in my past, I had no desire to tie my hair back. No longer have I styled my hair in the way I had in my youth. That was the sign for my change, to discard the darkest moments of my life.
Forever they will be embedded into my mind and heart.
No matter how hard I tried to change, no matter how hard I tried to run away from my past, It kept on coming to chase me.
When all I wanted was a happy ending.
When one desires for something with all their heart, they would be desperate to chase after that, no matter the cost may be.
Was I desperate? Was I desperate to experience a new start in order to gain that happy ending? Had it pushed me to the point that I'll do whatever it takes in order to gain that ending?
Yes...
To finally lay the past to rest, I must show those around me. The Ideal me.
"Good day, I am Karuizawa Kei."
The perfect example
"My interests are studying, and reading novels of the romantic genre-"
The unique example
"-and sometimes the mystery genre. I also like to listen to classical music"
But also be down to earth
"-and at times the ones of latest trend."
They are all looking at me, but that didn't matter.
As long as I build up my popularity, I would have enough deterrence to keep what had happened in the past from happening again. I will no longer be pushed to the edge ever again. Not in this school.
"I have an assortment of hobbies like of cooking and gardening as well. I just find such tasks relaxing"
Make yourself sound the perfect girl and no one will hate you. Make everyone love you but hard to reach you.
As I took my seat however, something had been gnawing at the back of my mind. A need to look at a direction. I do not understand as to why I was feeling this. It was as if there was an anomaly of sorts.
In a sense, a human being is afraid of those that they do not comprehend. A human's fear always translates into reality the moment they witness something they do not comprehend. The reason behind this way of thinking would be 'you wouldn't be able to do anything because you couldn't do anything.' There's a massive difference in the usage of wouldn't and couldn't. Wouldn't means an unwillingness and couldn't is the impossibility.
What if I tell you that one of us in this very room, I deem someone who personifies the unknown?
"Well... Uh... my name is Ayanokouji Kiyotaka. The, er... um... I know piano and calligraphy and tea ceremony i guess... I will do my best to get along with everyone... uh... nice to meet you all."
You curious me, Ayanokouji Kiyotaka...
You show us that you are unable to introduce yourself, showing us that you are incompetent of socializing to the point that you were able to introduce yourself in a manner that could be described by others as 'screwing up'. And yet if we compare your actions from earlier, your willingness to step into the lime light to the point the rising star of this classroom deems you to be the 'Hero of Class D', is a contradiction to the image you are portraying right now.
I also caught you looking at my way.
The way you look at me, you look pained. It's hard to tell from the way that your face appears indifferent or apathetic to the untrained eye.
But I can see your eyes...
They tint of recognition yet I've never seen you before. I can assure myself that you weren't there at that time too... But still why do you look at me like you've known me all your life.
I couldn't help myself watch you leave with the class delinquent and athlete. Matsushita-san looks at me with curiosity and asks "What's wrong?"
I shook my head.
"Nothing really... I just have this fascination of the unknown" I replied with a soft smile.
And it was the truth. It was true that what I said about taking an interest in the mystery genre was because of my fascination with the unknown and my desire to uncover it. There is just this sense of satisfaction of just uncovering mystery after mystery.
Each moment you turn the page of the novel, anticipation just builds up until you reach the climax of it all. The moment you do, the pleasure of satisfaction just hits you like a wave as everything starts to make sense.
I glanced towards the door.
Ayanokouji Kiyotaka...
You are a mystery that wouldn't just end, right? As I learn more about you, You'd probably have another skeleton in your closet.
How curious~
For now, I could only hope to unravel
What makes you so intriguing.
When Mother had told me that I will find my one true love some day, I knew it would come. But when that incident occurred, I had lost hope for such a thing. My happy end, my desire to live happy ever after, my desire for my prince charming.
Everything just ended.
I grew up
I didn't know it at that time, but in my three years in this school, he'd become the most irreplaceable individual in my life. I didn't know it at that time but I will also soon come to find out that he was no prince charming.
But... I might not have qualms with that
I leaned back upon my chair when the two of my friends weren't looking just so i could let out a sigh. I swung my legs, somehow impatient for the next day.
For some reason, I had the feeling of uttering out the words. "Make my three years unforgettable"
"What was that Karuizawa-san?"
"Nothing, Matsushita-san" I said with a small smile upon my face.
A/N: Wow took me awhile to write 1.2k word Side Story update SMH. (COME ON AUTHOR-SAN STEP UP YOUR BLOODY GAME!)
I blame the bloody storm! there was a black out! It was also cold, I was grew lazy and complacent ehehehe~
I wanted to snuggle my pillow, ̶t̶h̶i̶n̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶H̶o̶n̶a̶m̶i̶'̶s̶ ̶o̶r̶ ̶S̶a̶t̶o̶u̶'̶s̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶g̶h̶s̶
Imeanwhatididntsayanything.
Also I made a new cover for this story! Whaddya think?
Bad, right?
You'd prolly think "The fuck happened what's with the photo- well here's the explanation! Half assed, I know.
I can't really edit for my life. I just took a photo of Kiyopon and just made it the cover with the title and everything.
Now then, I thought of being vague with Kei in this SS, made it not too long because it's just her thoughts in a small amount of time. I was supposed to also write another SS for a different character, but I'm getting impatient, I wanna start with Vol.2 already!
I also want to introduce another abomination... heh... hehe... hehehe.... hehehehe~
Speaking of which... Sakayanagi- Some didn't like what i've done with her, don't worry its all part of my plan. I've decided that she would be Class D's final boss but she needs to be humbled by that point to pose as a threat... Oh i need to clarify. She would be Class D's final boss... but not Kiyopon's final boss... heh.... heheheheheheheh HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Also, I was thinking of modifying Kiyopon's attire. Im kind of inspired by a different character. He who wears all black because he was grieving. The planned attire I was supposed to give Kiyopon was supposed to be his school uniform but instead of his red blazer, he'll be wearing a black version of his hoodie.
Then I thought to myself.
"That's too edgy isn't it?"
So i guess i might just ditch that idea all together.
Anywho! Vote, Comment your thoughts and opinions! I'll be writing Vol.2's Soliloquy and have that posted possibly tomorrow? i dunno! hopefully I don't grow lazy again cuz of this cold weather.