Chapter Twenty-Three
The past three weeks had been utter hell for Ae-ri and she was losing every ounce of patience she had with the world. In-ho had grown more bearable to be around but the insecurity that Sun-oh was feeling as a result of In-ho's presence was causing a lot of strain on their relationship.
She was tired.
She couldn't find escape in the one person she desired deeply and it was taking its toll.
Ae-ri sighs as she plops down on her couch and whips out her phone to text Sun-oh only to see he had texted her a few minutes ago:
Hi sweetheart, what are you up to today? I miss you :(
She smiles softly and replies:
Nothing much, probably going to study. Want to meet up later or tomorrow?
I'd desire nothing more :)
***
Ae-ri pulls down her headphones and blows air out of her cheeks as she finishes up the last of her homework for the weekend. Her Saturday and Sunday were officially free and she was excited to spend every last moment with her family and Sun-oh.
She packs up her things back into her bag just as her mom knocks on the door and peeks her head in with a smile. "What's up?"
Ae-ri smiles back, "Nothing much, why?"
"In-ho and his mom are here. I was thinking you guys could go get coffee and spend some time together?" her mom looks at her with hopeful eyes and Ae-ri could feel the irritation running her body warm.
"Mom, I wanted to see Sun-oh. You know? My partner?"
"I know, baby, but it will be two hours max."
"Max," Ae-ri grumbles as she tugs out her jacket and gives her mom a sigh.
"That's my girl."
***
"The Americano is growing on me," In-ho smiles at her.
"I'm glad," Ae-ri nods indifferently.
She wished to be anywhere but here. Specifically with her significant other.
"So how's your relationship?"
"Fine."
"It didn't seem fine last time I checked."
"Okay?"
"I'm just saying, you should probably do something about how insecure he is."
"Fuck off."
"I'm not saying something you haven't thought about Ae-ri," he says slowly, his eyes coolly meeting her with a specific emotion she preferred not to label.
She exhales, and meets his gaze, "We are not the same."
"We are more alike than you'd like to admit, Ae-ri," he says in a low tone, his body leaning forward slightly.
"I disagree," she replies firmly but quietly, her body leaning forward to meet his challenge.
He laughs gently, and by the way his eyes lit up, she'd think he enjoyed their bickering.
In-ho keeps his gaze on her and he stills, his eyes trying to pick her a part in the same way she did other people, his lips biting themselves but his mouth holding a perpetual hint of a smile. Ae-ri doesn't break eye contact, making sure he knew she found him to be a challenge she was going to win, a hindrance that would soon disappear.
Before she can stop it, his fingers slip to her cheek and his thumb slides across her bottom lip, his hand brushing against her neck.
Ae-ri intakes a breath and tugs away sharply, her skin burning and her hand coming up to the place of contact; she licks her lips to subdue the tingling there and she finds herself running warm.
Her heart thumps in her ears and she looks at In-ho in a mix of confusion and apprehension. In-ho slips his hand back and rests his hand under his chin, looking at her with a knowing smile.
He had affected her.
***
Sun-oh was finally going to hang out with Ae-ri today and he was more than excited; so excited that he wanted to surprise her with her favorite pastry as a gift. The traffic was busy and as they get closer to the coffee shop, he thinks of all the things they would get to do with a smile.
He sends her a quick text to confirm their meeting time and notes that she said she wasn't doing anything besides studying so the coast should be clear for his cafe rendezvous.
Soon enough, his car pulls up to the cafe she liked to go to, and as he moves to get out, he finds himself freezing with his hand on the car handle.
Sun-oh watches from the car as In-ho reaches forward and caresses Ae-ri's skin. He watches as Ae-ri flinches, pulls herself away. But then he notices how her chest rose quicker, her cheeks flushed a warm red, her body affected by the simple touch. He looks as In-ho smiles knowingly, and Ae-ri looks back at In-ho before excusing herself.
He feels all breath escape him.
The world seems to still as he recognizes her reaction. Air doesn't seem to reach his lungs. He moves away from the handle after a few seconds and tells the driver to keep driving. The car begins to move and his breathing grows ragged, his hands shaky, and his vision blurry.
Ae-ri liked In-ho.
She liked him.
He finds himself letting out a choked sob that makes his driver look back in concern. Sun-oh shakes his head and lets out a strained, "Just take me home, please."
***
Ae-ri replies to Sun-oh's message with a:
5 sounds good! See you then :)
She places her phone on her bed and huffs, irritated at In-ho's little test; her body had reacted positively no matter how much her mind wanted to react negatively. She was embarrassed but she also knew damn well she did not want In-ho in any way, shape, or form.
She would tell Sun-oh in person, that her plans had changed; she would tell her about the test, and she would tell him the results. But, she would also let him know the truth, that she didn't love In-ho, she didn't want In-ho, she didn't ache for In-ho, she only felt that way for him and that she was certain that would not change anytime soon.
Communication was the foundation of their relationship; this too would pass.
She was sure of it.
***
Sun-oh looks down at his hands and exhales deeply before his shoulders drop down and he slips his hands to the back of his neck--dreading everything that was about to unfold.
He was tired. He loved her, no, he was in love with her; and that would make this ten times worse.
Ae-ri knocks on his bedroom door before coming in with a gentle smile, her body relaxing upon seeing him before immediately guarding up, her eyebrows furrowing, her expression concerned.
"What's wrong?"
Sun-oh looks at everything but her and motions for her to sit down.
"Fuck that. What's wrong?" she says as she closes the door behind her.
"Ae-ri," he begins.
She stills and he knows that somehow she knew what was about to occur in the way her shoulders drop, her face relaxes, and she hesitates. She silently moves and sits next to him on the bench before his bed and she faces him, wanting nothing more than to reach out and touch him.
"Go ahead," she says quietly after a moment.
Sun-oh can't stop the tears that slip from his eyes. She wasn't going to fight back.
"I think we should stop."
"Stop what?"
"Stop," he reaffirms softly, resigned.
"Why?" she pushes back.
He doesn't reply and she kneels before him, looking up at him as he attempts to hide his face. When she sees his tears, she wipes them away gently, placing his palm on her cheek, and kissing his thumb. His heart falls apart at the glossiness in her eyes, the deep fear in them.
"I saw you guys in the cafe," he whispers.
His fingers caress her cheek, slip to her hair, and he brings his forehead down to meet hers, needing her in ways words could never describe.
Ae-ri exhales as tears of frustration begin to escape her eyes and she shakes her head, "That meant nothing. I don't want him, Sun-oh."
She pushes his head back slightly to look him in the eyes as her most honest truth slips out of her mouth, "I want you."
Sun-oh cradles her face in his hand and looks into her eyes, wishing things were different, wishing he was the person she truly desired. He kisses her forehead, her cheeks, her mouth. The last time he would ever get to touch her in this way, feel her under his touch, know her in this manner.
He pulls his touch away completely and wipes his face, "No, Ae-ri. I want you to be happy and I think you want him."
"Sun-oh, please."
"I am breaking up with you, Ae-ri," he says firmly despite his throat welling up with emotion.
Ae-ri gets up and wipes her face while pacing back and forth, her hands on the top of her head, trying to find how to fix this.
"I'll stop hanging around him."
"Ae-ri-"
"I'll speak to my mom."
"Swee-Ae-ri no-."
"Sun-oh-"
"I am not negotiating," he speaks in a way that silences her.
Ae-ri feels her heart begin to ache, every beat hurting, sinking, and deepening.
She looks as he looks down at his hands that were shaking and finds herself letting the gravity of the situation seep in.
She needed to leave.
"I understand," she says after a moment. She turns on her heel and begins to walk to his door, feeling her heart leave her with every step. A sigh, then his footsteps resound in a hurry just as she reaches the handle and she begins crying as he tugs her into an embrace that felt more like a goodbye than anything else.
They hold each other tightly, for what seems an eternity--but too soon Ae-ri pulls away, unable to look at him, and pulls the door open, leaving him with nothing.
Sun-oh watches as she leaves and closes the door to his bedroom, body-racking sobs leaving his body. He didn't think it was going to hurt like this. He didn't think he would feel nothing but pain.