Draco pulled himself from the depths of another sleepless night and trudged down the stairs. He felt guilty for pushing Harry away, but he needed time to process everything that had happened in the last few weeks.
He wandered sleepily into the kitchen to make himself a tea but stopped in his tracks, seeing Harry still sitting at the table.
"Hey," Harry perked up, more enthusiastic than he wanted to be but still pleased to see him given the abnormal silence, "I made you a tea already, here," he nudged the mug forward and watched as Draco lit up a little more, sitting down in the seat beside him
"Why are you home? It's gone ten." Draco asked
"Study day," Harry said, nodding down at the mound of parchment that littered the kitchen table, "I've got Auror exams coming up soon, so you've got me here all day unfortunately." he chuffed, looking back down at his textbook.
Despite needing the space, it was a weight off of Draco's chest knowing that Harry would be home all day with him. The silence of the vast house alone forced his mind to wander to darker places, resulting in the painful memories resurfacing. With Harry here, hopefully the day would be easier to get through.
Draco sipped his tea slowly, his eyes closing at the comfort of the warmth enveloping his body. Harry reached for the tiny sugar pot, stirring another spoonful into his tea whilst keeping one eye on Draco from the corner of his vision, where he noticed the red mark on the side of his face,
"What's that, on your cheek?" he nodded towards the small reddened cut
"Oh, it's nothing," Draco waved the question away, praying Harry wouldn't probe
"Did your client do that to you?"
He thought for a moment, trying to come up with a suitable lie but something about Harry's genuine concern drew him to honesty, "Sort of," he shrugged, "He got angry when I told him I was no longer providing those services--"
"And he hit you?"
"No, he just... it doesn't matter." Draco uttered, acting as though the tea had suddenly become the most interesting thing he'd seen.
"Have you put any medicine on it?" Harry asked, placing his tea and quill firmly down on the table. Tending to Draco was now far more important. Draco shook his head, looking down at the mug hugged by his palms, and Harry immediately levitated the bottle of healing elixir over from the counter. "May I?"
"If you must," Draco nodded subtly, his heart beating in his chest. He watched as Harry placed three droplets into his fingertips and rubbed them together before moving closer on the seats until he was right in front of him. He could smell the familiar and comforting scent of Harry's soap that lingered on him.
Harry reached out his hand and Draco, nervous at first, tilted his head slightly, exposing the cut on his cheek. Like a spark of static, Draco felt something ignite inside his chest the moment Harry touched him and Harry let his fingers gently trace over Draco's soft skin, applying the liquid in soft circular motions over the break in the skin. Draco winced slightly at the sting of the medicine coming into contact with the broken skin.
Harry tried to keep his attention on the subtle cut under his fingertips, but his eyes kept flicking up to meet Draco's, stunning silver and filled with vulnerability. His lips were parted in concentration, shallow breaths caught in his throat feeling Draco under his touch, so close to him, aching for him.
Nerves suddenly flooded through his chest, his heart beating so hard, desperate not to say or do anything stupid that would upset Draco further.
"Does this feel alright?" Harry asked, rubbing the last of it into the skin which was drying rapidly from the cool air around them. Draco found it hard to get the words out, like being so close to Harry made him too nervous to speak. He smiled and looked down at the floor, feeling his heart blooming in his chest.
Harry drew back to inspect the application but caught sight of the red marks on Draco's neck, peeping over the hem of his pyjama shirt. "What happened to your neck?"
"It's not a big deal, he just didn't know his own strength--"
"So when he hit you, did he choke you as well?"
"No," Draco lied, "I just bruise easily, that's all it is." He shrugged and took another sip of tea but Harry remained unsatisfied with his reasoning, his face cold, "He liked it rough, he just got carried away--"
"-And assaulted you by the looks of it! Draco, do you not realise how serious this is? What he did to you was--"
"It doesn't matter what he did," Draco cut him off fiercely, "It's over. I'll never see him again."
Harry frowned and slumped back in his chair, crossing his arms knowing that if he fought any more he would only piss Draco off, and right now things had never been better between them.
Draco couldn't admit to Harry to extent of what had happened, hell, he could barely admit it to himself. Harry was never going to find out, he'd already decided that. After all, what did he expect? He offered his body in exchange for money, he wasn't in a position to be changing his mind. The man had a right to be angry, he'd brought it on himself.
Memories seeped through the cracks in Draco's mind of that horrible moment. The pressing of skin on skin, the cries that made his throat sore, the dampness of tears, the blood running down his legs, the sting of the bruises between his thighs. He winced slightly and his breath hitched in his throat, staring down at the table feeling the pain that was very much real overwhelming him once more, the pain he was shutting out desperately.
Draco didn't want it but it happened.
He'd said no but the man did it anyway.
He deserved it, right?
"... Draco?" Harry's voice echoed in the back of his mind, "Draco?"
He snapped back to the kitchen table, "Mhm?"
"You okay? You zoned out for a moment."
"I'm fine," he flustered, the painful memories burnt into his mind fading away, they always did when Harry was there.
Harry couldn't help the concern that oozed from his sad green eyes, big and glassy behind the frames and looking across at Draco like his heart was torn between wanting to comfort and wanting to respect his boundaries. Draco sensed his inner battle and softened, bringing the warm mug to his chest.
"Thank you, for looking out for me," Draco finally spoke after a moment of tension, "You're the only one that does."
With that, they sank into the silence. Harry made himself two slices of toast whilst Draco curled up on the chair and drifted between the pages of his novel and the blustering autumn breeze swaying the trees outside the kitchen window.
Right then, in that moment, he was home with Harry, he was safe.
***
Harry spent the following few days in a sour mood. He made his best efforts when Draco was around him, if anything he was trying harder to keep the atmosphere positive, even though there was still a nagging ache that lingered in the pit of his stomach.
Draco was burying himself in books, most likely as an escape from the nightmares that plagued his mind every day, but he was still a shell of himself. There was a vagueness behind his smile, a subtle hurt laced in the tone of his voice despite the effort to seem happy for Harry's sake.
And Harry could see right through it, but chose not to mention anything for fear that at any moment Draco could hit another low and retreat back to trying to take his own life again.
Draco was still asleep in his bedroom when an owl appeared at the kitchen window, and a letter fell from its beak onto the counter. All that was written on the front of the parchment was Draco's name. The owl departed swiftly, and Harry looked down at it curiously, peering over his shoulder to ensure he was alone before folding it open.
'12pm at the Richmond, room 190. I'm not done with you yet. Fail to show and you'll regret it.'
He stared down at the letter, reading it over and over until the acid words on the parchment sunk in and panic lurched in his chest. Draco was in danger, and Harry knew what needed to be done.
***
"What the fuck are you doing here?"
The man was sitting on the edge of the bed when Harry kicked the door open. Instantly, he squared up to him, confused as to why The Chosen One of all people had arrived instead of Draco. "Don't tell me you're scrounging money for a quick shag too? Is being a war hero not as glamorous as you'd hoped?"
"I'm not here to please you, you pathetic piece of shit." Harry snapped, "I saw the letter you left for Draco--"
"Ah! I get it now!" The man clasped his hands together with mock enthusiasm, "Let me guess, he peed his little panties at my threat and decided to send the famous Harry Potter to defend him? Surprised you even give a toss about that low-life trash."
"Don't you dare threaten him again, you understand me?"
"Are you shagging him too? Jealous that he's spreading himself for half the wizarding world?" The man paced forward, encroaching on Harry, who stood his ground firmly despite the fear inside. He moved closer, until they were almost chest-to-chest.
"Shut the fuck up--" Harry spat, before the instant hit sent his head snapping to the side as the man hit him across the face, his nose began to bleed. In retaliation, he instinctively drew his wand from his back pocket and bolted forward. "Stupefy!"
The man flew back and slammed against the wall with a sickening thud and Harry held his wand outstretched, trembling but fuelled with adrenaline. It was silent for a while, the dust settling. The man slowly looked up at him, visibly furious.
Before he could retaliate, Harry stormed forward and pressed the tip of his wand against the man's neck causing him to hiss and tilt his head back at Harry's mercy but the threatening smile still lingered over his face, and the man began to snort wickedly with laughter.
"You can tell him the deals off," he rasped, under the press of Harry's wand constricting his throat
"Deal? What deal?"
He sniggered malevolently, grinning with pride as though he'd just won the fight, "Oh this is brilliant! You have absolutely no idea, do you?"
Harry felt his chest sink, waiting for the explanation was painstakingly slow, his nerves were torn to shreds.
"Our little Draco said he was no longer providing himself, bitching and moaning like he thought he had a chance at redeeming his reputation." he scoffed and shook his head, "It was simple really, I told him he gives me what I paid for or I tell the Daily Prophet exactly what he is--"
"-You wouldn't dare," Harry growled, his wand pressing harder into the crook of the man's throat.
The man chuckled, smiling up at Harry, "Oh, don't you worry, I got what I wanted."
Harry's heart slammed and he drew back slightly, "W-what?"
"I fucked him." he spat, baring his teeth with disgusting pleasure, "He cried and begged, it was pathetic really, all that whimpering, telling me 'please! no! I don't want it!', fucking attention-seeking whore. He loved it, only stopped moaning when I silenced him, but I got what I paid for and rightly so."
Harry's gut twisted with sickness, his heart split in two. "You raped him?"
"The deals off. I was going to keep my mouth shut until he sent Harry bloody Potter, wizarding saviour to come and threaten me."
"Draco never sent me. He never found your letter."
"He didn't? Oh this is fantastic!" he roared with cruel laughter, "So you'll be responsible for Draco's exposure. Just wait until he finds out that you tracked me down, that you're the reason he's ruined."
Harry was piecing it all together, what he'd done and what the repercussions would be for Draco. It would destroy everything, Draco would never speak to him again, Draco would... try to kill himself again. It would be all Harry's fault. The thought of losing Draco made his heart rip to shreds, realising just how important he was to him.
He needed Draco alive. He needed Draco.
The man saw the moment of hesitation in Harry's eyes and caught him off guard, shoving Harry's arm away and charging for the door.
Harry jolted back and swung again, "Stupefy!" but the man deflected and sent the spell exploding into the wall, sending smoke and shards of torn wallpaper into the air.
A bolt of white light came for Harry from the end of the man's wand but Harry ducked just in time and the window behind him smashed to pieces. He reacted fast, sending a shot of red into the man's shoulder, and he crumpled to the floor on his knees.
He groaned a little and slumped down only having a second to catch his breath before Harry approached him from behind, slipping a hand around his neck. Harry gripped him hard, almost choking him and the tip of his wand pressed into the man's temple.
"Do it," he rasped, aware that Harry now held all the power. He was smirking cruelly, stiff against the tug of Harry's grip on his throat. "Do it, I dare you. Use that dark magic and be just as bad as the rest of them, I knew you weren't a hero, Harry Potter."
Harry wanted- Merlin, how he wanted to scream and curse and rip the skin from his back, to utter those words, those unforgivable words and watch justice serve at his feet. This man deserved no mercy in Harry's eyes.
The wand was shaking against the man's skin and Harry was holding back every ounce of will to not hurt him right then and there. He deserved it. He hurt young boys. He hurt Draco.
With a tightening grip around the man's throat, Harry leant forward until his lips were inches from the man's ear, prepared to let the words slip his tongue.
He swallowed, steadied his breathing and pressed the wand firmer against his skull.
"Obliviate."
Like a switch turning off, the man's rigid state softened, he buckled further to the floor and his head drooped slightly. Thin wispy threads of memory drew from the base of his temple to the tip of Harry's wand, like ribbons of silver lace and Harry rotated his wrist as he extracted them, every last one.
Once the spell was done, he hastily left the room, with the man slumped on the floor unaware that Harry was even there to begin with.
Harry closed the door, resting against it, allowing the weight of it all to lift from his heavy chest. It was done. Over. Draco was safe. All the memories were gone - of the man's encounters with Draco, of Harry confronting him, every last image in his mind of either of them had vanished.
Checking that the corridor was empty, he pushed away from the door and apparated to the Ministry, with one last thing to do.
***
"Draco?" Harry called out as he closed the front door behind him. It was way into the evening and he felt guilty for being gone all day. "Draco? You downstairs?"
The response he got could only be described as a muffled moan, which concerned him. He kicked off his shoes and marched across to the living room, wand at the ready, but lowered it when he stopped at the doorway.
Draco was curled up in the corner of the sofa, crying softly. His cheeks were tinted pink to match his tear-filled eyes and when he looked up to meet Harry's gaze he sniffed and buried his head in the sofa cushion.
"What's the matter? What happened?" Harry crashed onto the sofa beside him, alarmed. Draco sniffed back more tears but was in no state to form coherent sentences. Harry could see he was breathing erratically, and now that he was closer, deciphered that this was the tail-end of a panic attack.
"Hey," Harry cooed, instinctively taking Draco's hand in his own without a second thought. "I'm here now, I'm here with you, nothing bad is going to happen, okay?"
Draco nodded against the mound of padding in the cushion and Harry felt his heart ache for him, wanting to hold him and shield him from any more pain. In the panic of the moment, he'd forgotten all about the events of his day but as he stroked Draco's hand, he remembered what the man had told him, the sickening reality of what was most likely the cause of his panic attack.
"Hey, look at me," Harry hushed
Draco refused to budge, "I-- I hate people s-seeing me-e c-cry..."
"And I hate talking to people with their heads buried in pillows so come here--" he pulled the cushion away from Draco and Draco bowed his head down, wiping the tears from his eyes. "I'm sorry I was gone for so long."
In the heat of the moment he'd reached out to comfort him but now things were settling, Harry realised he was holding Draco's hand, something they'd never done during the day. It felt familiar but at the same time he pulled his hand back, feeling awkward for overstepping, after all, he'd never held Ron's hands before and they were best friends, the urge to be close to Draco left him confused but wanting more.
"I don't know w-what caused it, I j-just f-feel--" Draco uttered, drawing his hand back to his body.
"You don't have to explain yourself, Draco. Given everything you've been through it's understandable that you'd have panic attacks, Merlin, I've had them, and Ron and Hermione, it's okay."
Draco managed to finally pull his focus up to Harry and met his sympathetic expression with a pout. His cheeks were damp still and his eyes hazed over but the panic had washed away and he was on the other side of it.
Before he had a chance to speak again, Harry grabbed his arm and began leading him from the sofa, "Come with me."
"Where are we going?" Draco asked, being guided behind him.
Harry didn't answer, he walked around the back of the sofa and up to the doors, opening them into the back garden. It was dark outside, close to nightfall and the only sound they could hear was the gentle rustle of leaves in the Autumn evening breeze.
Harry marched out onto the grass and stopped, still aware that he was holding Draco's arm. He let go, and sat down on the floor, kicking his feet out and laying down on his back.
Draco looked at him as though he was mad, "What on earth are you doing?"
"Sit."
"Why?"
"Just sit."
Draco huffed, and sat down beside him, laying on his back with his knees bent out in front. His eyes were wide with confusion, waiting for some form of explanation which never came.
"Are you drunk right now?"
"No," Harry chuckled, pushing the hair from his eyes and dropping his arms back over his head, "It's something I learnt back at school, whenever I felt anxiety or panic that I couldn't control."
"Lay on the floor?" Draco sounded unconvinced
"Change your perspective. Literally."
"We look so stupid right now," Draco chuffed, his white-blonde hair splayed out on the grass as he looked up at the inky black sky above them. The stars were woven into the sky in a tapestry of jewels against the black.
"Stupid to who? It's just you and me here." Harry said, turning his head to the side, catching Draco smiling up at the stars. "Sometimes when I would get overwhelmed by everything in school, I would do this. If looking forward seemed too daunting, I'd look up instead, the sky was so vast and put everything into perspective, suddenly my problems didn't seem so close in front of me, and I knew I could turn away if I needed to."
"Did that honestly work?"
"Is it working for you?"
Draco turned back to the sky and thought for a moment, feeling the slowness of his breath, the calm. He sniffed a little more and tried to rub the dried tears from the corners of his eyes. "I suppose so. I don't know."
"Take some deep breaths."
"I'm not doing that." Draco huffed
"Why not?"
"Because it's a waste of time."
"Just try it," Harry urged, "I'll do it with you."
"Merlin, you're so demanding."
Draco shook off the awkwardness and allowed his eyes to close. He took a slow inhale, feeling the air rise in his lungs, his chest filling up before he exhaled and pushed it all away. The night around him was still, with each controlled breath he felt lighter than before.
By the fourth breath, Harry tilted his head to the side and watched Draco in his state of calm. Draco's chest was rising and falling in time with his own, his lips parted slightly, the moonlight from across the sky casting an ethereal glow against the profile of his face, allowing Harry to admire the beauty in his soft nose, in the flutter of his lashes and the curve of his jaw.
"Better?" Harry whispered
Draco stayed silent for a while, though his mouth lifted a little at the corners, "I always feel better when I'm with you."
Harry's heart skipped a beat. There was a pause with no words or sound and he felt the pull of something longing between them. His arm outstretched, until the tips of his fingers met Draco's, nudging delicately.
Draco looked across at him, then down at the space where their hands had met. Without hesitation, he closed the gaps between Harry's fingers, feeling the warmth that radiated from his touch and felt the reassurance from Harry, who caressed the pad of his thumb over his palm.
"You're holding my hand?" Draco breathed. His voice was low, barely a sound at all.
"Is that okay?"
"Yeah." he turned back to the sky, eyes wide and breath tight in his throat. Harry's heart was hammering in his chest, neither of them could look at each other.
It was dark, aside from the gentle glow of the light coming from inside the house and the various levitating lanterns that floated in the corners of the garden. Fireflies darted in the air beneath the twinkle of stars amongst the velvet black sky. Draco could just make out the fragility of Harry's features against the glowing moonlight, hazed over with a veil of darkness, but still beautiful nonetheless.
Harry smiled softly, admiring Draco in a way he'd never felt before and when Draco finally felt the pull to look back at Harry, their eyes met, a connection sparking between them.
Following the longing in his heart, Harry leant over, slipped his hand around the back of Draco's neck and pulled him onto his lips in a soft yet sweet kiss.
It was ever so delicate, and Draco melted at his touch, pushing gently against Harry to kiss him back. Their lips were warm despite the cool night air and Draco caught the subtle sweet scent that clung to Harry's skin, their hands holding each other close, eyes closed praying that it wasn't a dream.
Draco's heart hammered in his chest. He'd never been kissed like this before, his clients always skipped the kissing part and his teenage heartthrob years were stolen from him before he'd even had a chance to date. It was all brand new to him and it was wondrous.
Harry slowly pulled away, his eyes remained fixed on Draco's lips as he drew back, his voice hitched in his throat at a whisper, lost for words, "I--I'm sorry, I--"
Before he could stutter out any more words, Draco looped a finger around Harry's collar and pulled him back onto his lips into another kiss, this time a little harder. Harry puffed a breath of air at the sudden contact but felt Draco smiling against him and fell into rhythm with ease, placing one hand onto Draco's cheek, holding him close and kissing him back.
And Draco felt the need inside of him too, he slid his fingers through the back of Harry's hair and kissed him gently, delicate pecks of his lips pressing against Harry's as he tilted his head subtly before he pulled away, and the two of them locked eyes, lost in admiration, their lips parted and breathing softly.
For a fair while, neither of them spoke. Overwhelmed and completely awestruck, unable to find the words that followed correctly after a first kiss. What the hell do you even say after a first kiss?
Harry brought his hand down to Draco's arm, his fingers trembling, "Your skin is ice cold," he breathed.
"Perhaps that's because someone thought it was a good idea to lay out on the grass at night in the middle of October." Draco smirked, and Harry hitched a laugh, shaking his head as he fell back onto his elbows, looking up at the night sky in pure wonder.
"We should probably go inside then," Harry said, forcing his gaze away from the stars and back across to Draco's silver eyes despite the wave of nerves sitting at the back of his throat.
Draco took a silent breath and smiled, watching as Harry was the first to get to his feet before holding out a hand for Draco to pull himself up with. When they both came to standing, Draco readjusted his footing and found himself still inches from Harry, both of them looking at one another, drunk on a mixture of adrenaline, nerves and adoration.
There was hesitation, neither of them wanting to mention the kiss whilst both desperate to do it again. Harry placed his hands on either side of Draco's waist and closed the gap between them, kissing him tenderly whilst feeling Draco push against him. Their tongues met, which elicited a soft breath from Draco, wondering if it was possible to faint from being totally awestruck.
As they drew back, the only heat Draco felt aside from Harry's touch was the burning in his cheeks. Draco huffed a smile and looked down at Harry's hand, contemplating his next move.
"You can hold my hand again," Harry spoke softly, lost in admiration, "If you want to?"
Draco slid his fingers in between Harry's and squeezed, blushing hard, unable to meet those glistening green eyes, "I want to."