The dawn broke and with it Brett opened his eyes. It was a horror night. He barely slept, only dozed a couple of times so he was beat. No wonder. Now he had to wait for Eddy to wake up.
On the clock Eddy woke up, because he wanted an early start. That way they could work in the garden after their bath and not be too late. He yawned and stretched, "Good morning Brett. Are you feeling better today? I know I am."
He murmured sleepily. Brett rubbed his cheek over the back and thought about his plans for the rest of the day. He could do that.
"Yeah, I'm okay."
This time he got up and crawled outside first. The faun wanted to stretch himself and no longer watch the arrow that was shimmering so alluring in the darkness of the den. He took a few steps to his own den and sighed. Eddy did such a good job of braiding the entrance; it looked so cute. Sadly he would never use it. What a waste of talent and time.
He bent down and stretched his back, feeling the bones popping and cracking. Hopefully he would find Ray at lunch. If not, he could always ask Belle where he was.
Eddy guessed that Brett was in fact not okay, given the atypical reaction. This worried him but hopefully at the hot springs he would be able to cheer Brett up. He wasn't sure how but he would do his absolute best. With that in mind he crawled out of his den to stretch as well. Afterwards they would make their journey to the mountain region.
The faun was at Eddy's side - because where else would he be - and played with his scarf. It was still dark-ish so he knew they had a lot of time ahead of them. Why was Eddy awake so early? He had no clue, maybe the deer had a certain plan in mind, but Brett wouldn't object to that. It fit right into his own plans. Cleaning, being useful and then going find Ray. That way he left the world leaving no work behind. Except the den, but he couldn't do anything about it anymore. Oh well. He bent his neck to crack his bones there and shook his whole body.
"So, now to the hot springs if we can find them?"
"Yep to the hot springs, do you want to ride on my back? It's quite a walk but I can quickly travel, four legs really helps for making long distances," Eddy smiled down at Brett, offering his hand to Brett just in case he wanted to walk on his own.
They had a lot to do so Brett nodded. Riding the deer one more time and this time actively? Yes of course!
"I would love to ride on you." Brett smiled and stepped closer, waiting for Eddy to lower himself so he could get on more easily. Otherwise his hooves could hurt the deer and he certainly didn't want that.
"Can you lower yourself a bit please? So I can get on a bit more easily."
He wasn't the tallest after all.
Eddy lowered his belly to the grass so Brett could climb on top of him, "Wrap your arms around my torso so you don't fly off."
He wondered to himself what was wrong with Brett and how he could fix it. It was hard when he didn't know the geep that well and had been told how dense he was. Two variables that didn't help his thinking process.
Brett crawled on and wrapped his arms around Eddy to have a secure hold.
"I hope I am doing this correctly," the geep mumbled as he pressed his body against Eddy's human one and his hands laid on the stomach of the deer. It was kinda like snuggling for sleep but different.
"You are, tell me if anything is too much," Eddy rose to his hooves, it was time to make their journey. He didn't start outright running, he began with a trot instead. It was a good pace for Brett to adjust to.
The faun was wobbling and jiggling on the deer so he tightened his arms and pressed his chest against Eddy's back. That was better. He slowly got used to the movement and pressed his head into the crook of the neck to whisper into Eddy's ear if he needed to.
"I'm good now."
Eddy shivered slightly when he felt Brett's hot breath burst against his nape. It was oddly appealing, "Good, I don't want to give you motion sickness. Is it okay if I speed up?"
He would go into a gallop if Brett was okay with it.
"Yes, you can."
Brett trusted the deer to know what he was doing and so far he was not disappointed. So he only pressed himself even closer and laid his legs right where the ribs were for hold. He hoped Eddy was okay with him pressing so tightly against him.
Eddy eased into a gallop, being careful not to fling Brett off. That would be truly awful and would probably cause a few broken bones. Brett was his precious cargo that Eddy would take care of.
The wind sped up and Brett blinked open his eyes. What would he give for running that fast! It was amazing. Kind of like flying!
He smiled as the trees and bushes flew past him. He loved it! And being on top of Eddy and hugging him tightly was a bonus!
The cervitaur glanced back at Brett occasionally to make sure he was alright. It appeared that he was doing better than alright. Seeing this eased Eddy's worries and he galloped on. It was the best thing to see Brett smile, Eddy thought to himself.
"It's amazing," Brett whispered into Eddy's ears. And it really was! He was a slow being, when he ran it was not very fast, but this, this was speed!
"You're amazing, I like seeing you enjoy yourself," Eddy said back, trying not to get any bugs in his mouth. It was nasty whenever it happened. He always swore that he saw his life flash before his eyes when a bug tried to choke him.
The faun giggled, not being plagued by the thought for he had never experienced it. He almost couldn't understand what the deer was saying but when he did, he blushed. Eddy was the better person between them and that was clear. But he took the compliment and instead snuggled his head into the crook of the neck, discreetly kissing him. It could be an 'accident' as well, who knew that for sure.
Eddy felt the warmth of Brett's lips, he didn't mind it. It was alluring and comfortable. He didn't mention it though so as to not make Brett self conscious. So the faunling liked him? The events of last night came back to mind. He didn't say anything back to that did he? Maybe that's why the faun seemed a bit down.
While Eddy was deep in thoughts, Brett enjoyed the ride. When he was even smaller and younger, he sometimes rode the sheep if they allowed him, but this was totally different. He wouldn't mind doing that all day.
They left the forest and were on a big field full of grass and dying flowers of autumn. It was still a gorgeous site. It reminded him of the pasture.
Eddy continued to go the same pace as the gallop, making sure not to tire himself out. He may be lazy but he could go fast, probably not for as long as he would want. It was just enough though.
Brett's eyes wandered over everything he could see. It was relaxing to do nothing but hanging on Eddy. But then again, it was his last day so he supposed he could enjoy it a bit more.
"How long until we stop?"
"I don't know, I don't travel to the mountain region much. I just know where they are," Eddy giggled, "As they say though, it's about the journey not the destination."
"I see. Well, we got up quite early so we have time."
That was not the answer Brett expected but he took it. Hopefully they will find it. And if not, they had a nice quick stroll through a part of the realm and Brett saw more of it.
The landscape changed once again as they hastened through a tiny forest, full of pines and conifers. The mountains were looking in front of them and the pathways were at an angle already. Brett hoped Eddy's thin deer legs strong enough for that. Especially with a fat geep on top of him.
Eddy had to slow down to make sure he wouldn't lose his footing on the incline. There was no need for speed here, only caution. Without caution this could become rather troublesome, "So I guess we will have to keep our eyes out for the hot springs."
Brett nodded and backed up a tiny bit. The pace was not that fast anymore so it was fine.
"Yeah. Do they steam here? I mean, it's getting colder."
Brett could almost see his breath the higher they went and the breeze around them felt colder as well or was he imagining it?
"I've never seen one, so I wouldn't know. But I am guessing that they do," Eddy looked around, trying to see a sign of a spring being where they were. He should have asked for better directions.
"Maybe we see someone who can point us in the right directions."
Brett wasn't mad that they had to look around, it was like a puzzle or adventure. He liked those things. So he giggled and kept an eye open for anything while Eddy did all the hard work.
"I hope we find someone so we don't freeze to death or something," Eddy mildly wished that he had fur on his human part too, so he wouldn't have to freeze.
The faun felt that Eddy shivered and he untied his scarf to put it around Eddy's neckl and put his kinda fluffy arms around the other as well.
"I will keep you warm until we arrive."
The question was, how would they fare when they were out of the water? They needed to dry somehow. And water was very well known to be wet.
"Thank you Brett," Eddy was very appreciative for the little warmth that he was offered. Hopefully it would sustain them both while they searched. The chill made him want to hibernate rather than search though, and he didn't even hibernate!
"Uhm, Eddy, what do we do about the wetness when we want to go back? The wind will be even colder then. Don't we need something to dry off? I mean, I know towels but you said you never use man-made stuff so I was wondering. So that we don't freeze on our way down."
It was better to ask in Brett's eyes than be sorry. So that he did.
Eddy blinked owlishly, he hadn't thought about that at all! Well, this could be problematic... He licked his lips with a sigh, "I don't know since we didn't bring anything... We'll have to find something."
"Maybe we should look for an inhabitant before we look for the hot springs? Maybe they know a trick or two."
Brett chuckled. Eddy was so clueless sometimes! It was adorable. The faun placed his hand on Eddy's shoulder and looked around as well. Something moved between two rocks and he bolted up.
"Eddy, look between the two rock on the right!" He pointed in the direction.
Eddy looked over when Brett told him too, he saw a tail swishing back and forth. He blinked owlishly before slowly approaching, "Hello?"
A snow monkey popped up from behind the rocks, staring at them with beady eyes, "Well, hello there."
It spoke as if it was supposed to talk.
Brett could contain his screaming only by a breath's width. The beige-white colored monkey was so fluffy and why could it talk?! It looked like a regular monkey. It was not one, very apparently so.
The faun blinked and gulped.
"U-uhm hello, we are from the forest down below and we wondered if you could tell us where the hot springs are? We were told they were in the mountains but so far we had no luck finding them."
He would bow normally but seeing that Eddy and Brett were tangled together thanks to the scarf that was not a possibility. The faun nibbled on his lower lip as he looked the monkey over. So fluffy! He wanted to pet it!
Eddy wasn't exactly sure how to react to the talking monkey either, he wouldn't question it though. They lived in a mystical realm, things were bound to be a bit unconventional.
"Yes, yes, I know where they are, I could even lead you there," The snow monkey cackled, finding it amusing that the forest folk climbed all the way up there without knowing where they were going.
"Thank you very much. Also, may I ask if you use any sort of blanket or something like this to dry yourself after the bath? Because we don't have enough fur to keep warm."
He motioned to both of their naked chests while Eddy slowly followed the monkey. Brett was grateful that they found someone! And a fluffy thing to boost.
"Only if you don't mind us asking questions of course."
The monkey eyed them over, supposing the absence of thick fur could be quite troublesome, "I do not use such things, I just shake. But there are others who do so there are most likely some near the springs."
The snow monkey hopped away from the rocks to start leading them towards what they sought for.
At that, Brett beamed and turned his head to Eddy, "Great! Then we can really take a dip! Perfect!"
He squeezed the stomach a bit as he grinned. Eddy was a good boy and followed the monkey to the best of his abilities while Brett was a lazy bum who was carried.
"May I inquire your name, nice monkey? I am Brett, nice to meet you."
"My name is Fuyu, now what about you tall dangly one; what is your name?" Fuyu chuckled as they walked up the mountain path.
Figuring he was the tall dangly one, Eddy replied, "Oh, my name is Edward. You can call me Eddy though."
Dangly? Dangly?! Eddy was not dangly! He was tall and nicely formed and perfect! Brett decided not to say anything against their gracious guide but 'dangly' was not a nice thing to say to another person.
Brett leaned his head on the shoulder again and looked around for later so they could get off the mountain without much help and hassle. He still kept his voice calm when he talked to the monkey though.
"Nice to meet you Fuyu. Are you from here?"
"Yes I am. I'm a mountain monkey after all," Fuyu walked in front of them, swaying side to side. Eddy watched curiously as he decided that monkeys were in fact weird and the ones who talked were kinda scary.
"Oh, then you probably know a lot about the environment. I only lived on grass fields my entire life so this is quite different. May I inquire how you survive here? Because mountains can not be turned into rich farms or so and trees are not growing at a certain height, is that true? I only read about that, I never saw it."
While the monkey was scary, Brett took it upon himself to ask the monkey all the questions he had. It was a perfect source of knowledge after all.
"Well you see I have very thick fur and I feed off of bark and pine needles because pine trees can survive the cold. Not the tastiest meal but one must do what they gotta do to survive," Fuyu chuckled, soon something came into view. It looked like a wooden building.
Brett nodded. This came to a surprise. Only eating tree parts? That would be weird for him. But he was no monkey either so he probably couldn't compare that.
When he looked up he saw the wooden structure. It seemed like it was a small hut. But why was it here?
He looked at the monkey and furrowed his brows.
"Inside there is one of the hot springs. I figured it would be more to the likings of forest dwellers; rather than one of the outside ones. I hope you two enjoy, stubby and dangly," With that Fuyu went their own way which meant disappearing up the mountain.
Brett shouted a "Thank you, Fuyu!" but he doubted the monkey would care much for it. He looked around and it was a cozy, humid place. The warm water was now all around them and therefore it was a bit foggy.
"It was nice of her to show us the place, right? It's not even far away."
"It was very nice, I think monkeys are kinda scary though," Eddy murmured as he stepped towards the building. He really hoped it was warm inside because he was really cold. He wasn't built for these temperatures.
"Well. At least we have found a hot spring with her help," Brett murmured back, "Should we go inside? Because I think that's what we need right now."
He was sure it was warmer inside than outside. It always was so maybe Eddy would stop shivering. Brett rubbed over the arms.
"Just gotta find the entrance," Eddy walked around until he found the opening, which was covered by flaps. So he pushed through like he would with the weeping willows. As soon as they were inside, they were immediately met by steam. Eddy coughed a bit from inhaling to sharply on the mist.
Brett didn't have the problem, he inhaled the steamy air intensely. It was like balm for the soul. Warm mist was around them and while Eddy coughed, Brett patted gently on his back. He removed the scarf so they were free again.
"His eyes fell onto the steaming pond and he couldn't help but inspect it.
"It looks good, right?"
"It does, do you think it feels nice?" Eddy wasn't used to hot water so the whole concept seemed strange to him. He hoped to adjust quickly though and not become a deer soup.
"Yes, I took a bath a lot of times when the master was away, so I can assure you it's wonderful if you can withstand the heat. I need to take a dip to actually say how good it will be to be honest, but if its anything like a bath in the tub the mistress filled, then it will be very relaxing for us."
Brett had no idea but he was sure it would be perfect. He slipped off of Eddy's bak and carefully walked to the edge. He bent down and carefully lowered his hand. He 'baah'-ed in response.
"Wonderful! I am delighted!"
The faun could not be held back anymore; he ripped the scarf off and full on went inside. Thankfully there was a bit of an easy access into it, kinda like stairs, but not really. It was just big ass stones that went deeper and deeper.
"It's amazing, Eddy, come on in!"
Eddy carefully walked to the water's edge, of course feeling a bit nervous. First the deer tipped his hoove in. After feeling it wasn't all too bad, he carefully stepped in, "Oh...it is rather lovely." He smiled with a little giggle.
"And it only gets better!"
Brett sat down and was immersed up to the shoulder. He sighed and nodded.
"Yeah, it was a very good decision to go here. Thank you for taking me, Eddy."
The faun opened his eyes to look at Eddy and smiled. It was really nice.
"It's my pleasure to bring you here. You seem excited while talking about it so I was rather curious too," Eddy smiled softly, he liked seeing Brett's eyes light up so much that he would take him on many more adventures. That's how Eddy thought at least.
The faun nodded and sunk deeper to close his eyes again. The warm water was worth it. He rubbed his face with the wet hands and finally sunk deeper, submerging himself completely. Brett was not trying to drown himself - even if that was very tempting - instead he wanted to get clean. And water helped with that. It took a few moments, but then he came up again, all wet and cleaner. Not fully clean, but cleaner.
"How long did it take to get here?"
"I don't know, but let's just enjoy it for now," Eddy did as he saw Brett do and sunk down to enjoy the water, "Maybe I could help you wash up?"
Cleaning another creature was an intimate thing but Eddy thought it would be fine, considering that they had been kissing.
More touching? In the warm water? Not exactly what Brett needed right now so he shook his head. "Thanks but I can do that myself. Should I help you though? Your rear looks really big and I doubt you can clean everything by yourself."
He could at least help Eddy since the deer brought him here in the first place. So he could repay a tiny amount of the gratitude he felt.
"You can help me, but are you sure you don't want me to do that for you? I don't mind." Eddy looked at the geep with his wide doe eyes. He just wanted to make the faunling happy and feel better.
"Yes, it's okay." Brett nodded at that. Yes, it was better that way. He didn't need more guilty consciousness. He came closer to Eddy and patted the wet back.
"Go on, a little bit deeper then I can clean you more easily."
Eddy did as he was told, he had to think harder then on how to cheer the geep up. He had come to conclusions as to why the faunling was a bit off but not solutions. Having no solutions to a problem was the absolute worst in Eddy's mind, "Okay, thank you."
Brett nodded again and started to clean Eddy at the instep of the deer body. He used first his hand, but as his eyes wandered he saw a few plants. He pointed them out to Eddy,
"It's lemon balm! I can rub you with it! You will smell amazing if you want. And it's soapy, so it will foam a bit and we can clean you more easily. Do you want to give it a try?"
The faun turned his head to look at Eddy. The plant bloomed in the perfect place in his eyes!
Eddy smiled softly at Brett, his eyes squinting slightly as he did so, "That would be lovely Brett. Thank you."
He was generally a cheery person even when he was facing problems that he had no solutions too.
The faun got out of the water and plucked a few stems. It should be enough and when he noticed it wasn't he could simply grab a handful more. When he returned to Eddy, he rubbed the lemon balm on the spine and into the fur. Instantly the whole shed was filled with the gentle lemon smell.
"Is that okay or am I too rough," he asked while he was rubbing the plant onto Eddy.
"It feels nice Brett," Eddy hummed and relaxed near the edge of the hot spring, "I really appreciate you."
He murmured, maybe he would elaborate more on it or maybe not.
That sounded like something his mistress kinda said when he helped her as well. Brett froze for a split second before continuing the cleaning/massaging. He laid the foamy plants to the side and massaged the back now to disperse the foam and smell.
He hummed to acknowledge Eddy's statement to not affront the deer. But something dark and ugly twisted in his stomach.
Eddy glanced back at Brett, a warm smile on his face, "Not just for this though. For far more important things to me. Sure not everyone helps me clean but I can typically do it myself, and the water can wash things away all the same. But, you're different than myself, others and the water. You do the things none of the others mentioned can."
He laid his head on the stone as he rambled. Eddy thought he was going to get to a pretty big point but who knew, "Everything else is fleeting, for one because water is just water and secondly I don't fit others views which pushes others away. It even makes me doubt myself a lot of the time. But then there is you, so I appreciate you and want to say thank you for accepting me. I'm happy with you by my side."
Brett nodded. His mind was a storm the longer Eddy talked. He didn't quite understand. He was just like all the others but wasn't? What made him different? He was just nice to Eddy because the deer was very nice to him. Brett wanted to repay him, even though Eddy didn't want that.
He stopped and looked up. Being different is not all good, Eddy said so himself. So how can he being different mean good for the deer?!
Well, actually Eddy didn't say he was good because he was different, just that he was. He didn't know how to feel about that. Being different meant bad then, right? But then the soft voice and the fact that Eddy was still here wouldn't make any sense.
And why did Eddy thank him and was happy?
"Uhm, okay. Y-your welcome?"
Eddy grinned at Brett, guessing the faunling didn't understand considering the hesitant reply, "I just mean by that, not many are okay with the way I am."
He was obviously talking about his sexual preference in that, "That didn't deter you though, you don't care. It's nice to have someone who is still my friend and can probably understand me. That's really special to me."
Well, Brett knew something was going over his head right now he had no idea what though.
"Uhm, okay? I mean, thank you. For confiding in me." Brett looked at his hands and sighed, "Eddy, I am not really sure what you mean. I mean, I understand that you are ...," he hesitated here, not sure if he was correct, but he continued on, "happy that I am with you right now but I don't do anything to help or improve your situation. I just make it worse. You said your herd didn't like it when you like other males, but I am a male, so... "
'Wouldn't it be better if he was not there' was a thought he didn't dare to speak out loud. If he wasn't there then Eddy could be 'normal' to herd's standards. That was what the deer wanted or not? And how could he not be okay with Eddy? That thought alone was atrocious! Eddy was perfect.
"Anyway, I will continue to be your friend until the day I die, so fear not," he mumbled. Friend. Well it was better than nothing but still, 'friend' hurt.
"Well, my situation isn't really going to change either way. They won't and I simply can't, but having light in it is precious. You're like the precious light. Everybody needs somebody, like for you it was Ray who inspired you to leave your darkness. And for me I think that could be you, inspiring me to leave my own darkness even if the unknown is scary," Eddy murmured as he thought on it. He had been thinking a lot recently.
Brett shook his head. He was no ones 'light'. He was a burden if anything at all.
"Eddy, you are brave and strong enough to change yourself. You don't need me. I can't be a light. A light is something good and I am not," the geep whispered. He walked around Eddy and looked up at him, "I can't be any good. I'm a useless thing. Without you I would probably be dead by now."
The faun didn't dare to take Eddy's hand. This came unexpected. On one hand he wanted to hear such things but on the other hand he didn't want to. It scared him.
It was Eddy's turn to be confused. He turned to Brett, brows knitting together as if trying to solve a really hard puzzle, "But why aren't you good? You've been nothing but good to me so it is fully possible for you to be good. And I don't think you are useless, you work hard and get things done If anything, you're reliable."
The geep shook his head, "I am not good. I am a bad omen, Eddy." At least his master always said so, "And I work not enough and I am too slow. I should work more and harder, not laze around." He took a shuddering breath and sunk deeper into the water. He couldn't hide right now for it was a way too small shed for him to hide and if he would run away he would hurt himself, not to mention Eddy would probably slip and fall and he couldn't risk it. So, neither running nor hiding was an option. He could avoid Eddy's gaze but for how long?
Eddy scooted closer to Brett and wrapped his arms around him, "I don't think you are. You're a good faun, who deserves to relax instead of being worked to the bone. You're kind, caring and patient even when it hurts. You aren't anything bad nor am I ashamed to be seen with you, even if I get scared. You're also genuine. You don't mind what the person is or what they've come from, you're kind all the same. You're precious Brett, even if you can't see it sometimes,"
He felt uncomfortable in the hug. He was enjoying it but for the wrong reasons. Brett had been given something he was not worthy of.
But still, even if that was in the forefront of his mind, he still grabbed at Eddy, pulling the man closer and hiding his face in the crook of the neck.
His thoughts wandered to the night and how close he was to stab Eddy with the arrow and he sobbed. He was not good or genuine or precious. He was a liar and a greedy person who was not satisfied with what he was given. But how could he tell Eddy that without disappointing him?
The answer was that he couldn't. So he just shook his head and hung onto the taller male. Eddy pressed his lips to Brett's temple, trying to soothe him anyway that he could, "It's okay and you will be too. I promise as long as you stay by my side, I will make it okay even when you don't feel like it will be."
What should Brett say to that? What was the best answer to that? He had no clue.
So he sniffled and whispered his dirty secret, "I really like you Eddy I really really do. But I am not a good person. I wanted to stab you with the cupid's arrow in the night. So many times until you liked me too. See? I am not good. I am bad. And bad people don't deserve good things."
Brett sobbed harder, his entire frame was shaking. He was sure that Eddy was disgusted by him now. Because how dare he wish for that when he was just a dirty, useless bastard? Eddy was perfect while Brett was not even worthy of being the dirt under his nails. It was like an ant trying to reach for the sun.
"But you didn't, that's what's important. In the face of temptation, you still decided to not do it. You chose me over yourself, that's a beautiful thing to care about someone else's will more than what benefits you right away. You could have and I wouldn't have known but you didn't. Maybe you don't even need that arrow... But this shows how good and strong you are," Eddy squeezed Brett tighter, drawing him closer.
It sounded so good but deep down Brett knew he was just garbage and hadn't had the balls to do it. The only thing hindering him from doing it, was the results. What if he stabbed Eddy with it and the arrow would amplify the hate and disgust in Eddy upon seeing Brett? What if... his mind came to a sudden halt.
What?
"W-what do you mean by 'maybe you don't even need it'?"
Was Eddy that sure that even the cupid's magic wouldn't help him? Did Eddy really know how he felt and was sure he would never return the faun's feelings? Not that it was surprising if he didn't, but man. He wished he would just disappear if that was the case.
Eddy looked down at Brett, he looked so small and helpless, "I like you too."
He spoke softly, sure it hadn't been that long but spending every day and night with someone could do that. Especially when they had already been kissing and rather touchy, it sent the happy chemicals to his brain. Eddy wouldn't call it love or anything but he knew he liked the faun and was quite fond of Brett's hands on his body along with their lips pressed together.
At the confession, Brett looked up, now totally confused. He was with Eddy the whole time and he didn't see the deer slipping and crashing his head against anything. So it couldn't be that. Strange.
Maybe Eddy meant a different kind of like. Yeah, that was probably it, no romantic interest but just a friendship one. That made much more sense!
So he nodded and tucked his hurting heart away.
"Thank you. I will try to be a good friend then."
Eddy put a hand on Brett's cheek, gently stroking it, "Yes, you're my friend but I like you too."
He hadn't given Brett an answer last night since everything was all too much but he would give his answer now, "I don't know what that means in terms between us. I just know that you like me and I like you despite being forbidden to be with another male. But what they don't know won't hurt, yeah?"
Brett looked up, his eyes big and his ears still flattened to his head. The whirlwind called thoughts didn't stop. Did that mean what he thought it meant? Or was Eddy just humoring him? He didn't know for sure but it sounded like Eddy also liked him? Did that mean he didn't have to go to Ray?
"But what if the herd knows about this? What will you do then? Or will I be a dirty little secret," he whispered. He wanted to believe in Eddy, he really really did, but what if. That was the biggest problem for Brett. What if the herd found out. What if Eddy's parents found out. What if someone else saw. What if, what if, what if.
He was happy of course but was he willing to push down everything once they were in the open? Could he handle that? He knew not enough about the realm and the workings of it so he had no clue what this meant in the long run.
His trembling hand came up and laid on top of Eddy's. What was he willing to endure for Eddy? Could he endure watching him go to another female deer to keep up the appearance? What if they had a baby? And here it was again. The what if.
Brett just closed his eyes and tried to push down his thoughts. They were only in the 'like' state. Nothing was set in stone - well it was for Brett but surely not for Eddy - so he probably overthought everything.
"Forget what I asked. Yes Eddy, I like you a lot."
He rubbed his cheeks against the hands and dared to smile a bit.
"Thank you."
Eddy thought the questions were valid along with the worries, no one liked being someone's secret. Especially if there was a shameful connotation with it because of his herds and families beliefs. It was a hard situation since both parties needed respect towards one another. Respect for Eddy because he wasn't comfortable with completely coming out yet, even as the herd tried to fix him. But there also had to be respect for Brett, who may not want to wait for the deer to be comfortable and may find it stressful to be under so much pressure. Eddy wasn't even completely sure that he was okay with himself admitting to his desires or wants, it felt like succumbing to all the things that he was told was wrong. It didn't feel wrong though, was it actually an issue to like another species or another male? Eddy wasn't really sure anymore. Others were allowed to do it, but they were seen as lost and not held to the same standard as what the herd was. Maybe he preferred to be one of the lost then. There was a lot to think about.
"It's okay that you ask those things. There's a lot of unresolved things there, but we'll figure them out," Eddy smiled softly at Brett, he would figure this out.
At that the faun nodded. He was still not sure about everything but Eddy seemed hopeful even if a bit lost. He got on the tip of his hooves and pulled Eddy down to him to gently kiss him. It was all he could do. Well, that and hope for the best. Because time would tell what would happen to them.
Eddy let his eyes flutter closed, the feeling of Brett's lips was pretty familiar now. Considering they had kissed half a day prior to this. Without anything else in mind, he kissed Brett back. It was nothing but short and sweet.
When they broke apart, Brett smiled. Kissing the deer made him always happy. And killed the thoughts thankfully.
"Should I wash you now?"