5th December 2022
Beloved Chainsaw,
No need to be so direct about your love for me by cutting the words Dear and Precious in every possible direction. I get it, okay?
How do you know what a corpse smells like? What are you hiding? Have you, perhaps, done things in the dark that I should know about? I wouldn't be too surprised since...you know, Chainsaw is a bit of a dead give away :)
And since I'm your beloved sociopath, I'd be more than happy to hire you as my acquaintance. Send along your resume next time.
About your address? A person as skilled as me shouldn't have to worry about that. ;)
But happy to know that you are aware of your asshole-ness. Self-awareness! Finally one good thing!
From what I've gathered from the last letter, Someone watches a bunch loads of Hallmark movies. Are you one of those people who like to act cold on the outside because they are actually afraid of getting hurt? Tell me I am right because I know I am (or we'll figure that out sooner or later) xP
Who hurt you? Tell me.
As your designated sociopath saviour, I shall do the job of putting my skills to use. I can do that much for you considering all that history we have.
Let's see what else is left...
Ha! Funny how you meant human interaction is not "2022" anymore but here you are writing letters, which is so 18th century if not older. [Oh dear, what an irony.]
On a serious note, you sound like you don't leave your house ever. Which was good in like 2020 and 2021 when we had Covid, you know. But now? Let's just say human interaction will never be not valid.
And about that person who told you that you need to start your life again probably would be happy to see you have humane (felt the need to specify) human interaction.
Okay, that was like the first serious thing I wrote so far. It gave me goosebumps yikes. Let's do it again. Or not.
Last thing...
My age? You're close but not quite xP
Let's do this. You tell me three things about you (anything!) and I'll let you know my age. BONUS: I'll postpone the search for your address.
P.S. that is not how you compliment someone but I guess that's a...good start? :)
I noticed you attempted to write in legible handwriting this time. Look at us making progress! Who would've thought!
Yours truly wrote back just to spite you,
Snowflake
A/N: A reminder!
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