Sunday 02/11/1995
A week flew by. Maybe two, maybe three. Three weeks filled with nothing. No Theo, no Draco either. No friends, no teachers, no one around me.
The world seems to have stopped spinning, or even disappeared completely.
Nothing. There is nothing.
Perhaps I should have told him, Draco. About Theo and me and how it's over with us.
Perhaps I'd be in better places, in a better state of mind now. Perhaps.
I don't know if he still looks at me. I don't know if he's got any interest in me anymore. I don't know how he feels if he's hurt if he's happy.
I don't even know what I myself feel. Once there's emptiness, nothingness, then again there's hate and burning rage. Anger I cannot regulate. Untamable, overwhelming.
There's longing also. I long for them, both of them. For Astoria too. For revenge. Now more than ever.
My failure feeds on me.
. . .