Before going to bed, I waited for Olive. While waiting, I was reading A Sense of Belonging by Erica James.
When I heard footsteps outside, I jumped out of the bed and walked to the door to greet Olive. My hand was on the doorknob but I stopped because I heard his voice.
Xavier's voice.
Why he was with Olive, I don't know.
I placed my right ear on the door so I can hear their conversation properly.
“...do you know?” Xavier was asking.
I heard Olive laugh. “It was obvious.”
“We tried very hard to keep it as a secret. But you were enemies back then. How did you notice?”
“Everybody noticed it.”
Even though I can't see Xavier, I can practically feel him tense. “Everybody?” he gasped.
“Maybe not everybody, but a lot of people. There were also rumors that Sandor would break your neck if he catches you with her.”
“But he doesn't love--”
“Yeah, I noticed. But he cares for her. That enough I can see.”
“Wow. You really do read people very well.”
She chuckled. “I've been hearing that a lot.” There was a pause, as if they didn't know what to say anymore. Then Olive cleared her throat. “Well, I better go to sleep. Thanks for walking me here. I hope you the best with you-know-what.”
“Sure, thanks. And, Olive?”
“Yeah?”
“I really do.”
“Do what?”
“Love her.”
I froze on my spot. Olive knows who the girl Xavier loves? How could that happen? Olive and Xavier were never best of friends.
And now they have exchanged crushes?
“Yeah, I can also see that,” Olive replied, laughing softly. “I can see how you care for her.”
“Would you tell her?”
“Not if you don't want me to.”
Xavier breathed out a relieved sigh. “Awesome. Thanks.”
“Well, good night.”
I heard Xavier walk away. The door opened and I fell on my bottom because my ear was still on the door.
“Autumn, I-- Why are you on the floor?”
“You pushed the door open while my ear was still there,” I grumbled.
“You were listening in our conversation?” she gasped, aghast.
I suddenly realized what I said. Damn it. “Um... technically, I wasn't.”
“You were, weren't you?”
“No and you can't prove anything!”
“You just said your ear was still there by the door.”
I blanked, running out of ideas that I was going to say.
Olive grinned smugly. “How much did you hear?”
“Not much,” I replied honestly.
“Did you hear any names?”
I considered this. “Only Sandor's, not counting the times when you say each other's names.”
Olive studied me if I was telling the truth. “Okay,” she said, making up her mind. Then she smiled slowly. “We were just talking about Xavier's first love.”
“Do you know who it is?” I asked quietly, my eyes wide. I really love gossiping, amnesia or no amnesia.
“I'm not supposed to tell,” she said mocking. Then added just as wickedly, “You don't know her.”
She walked away and I watched her retreating figure.
Whatever she says, I have a feeling I do know Xavier's first love.
***
It's time to start Day Two out of seven days here in our private resort just near Thailand (seriously, I don't know what's the name of our resort).
First thing I got to do was to wake up. I walked inside the bathroom, noticing Olive was still soundly asleep on her bed. I took a long hot shower. When I was done, Olive was not yet up. So instead I just slipped on a pair of white shorts, showing off my legs and a pink tank top. I wore my flipflops as I walked out of my room.
At the lobby, I saw my dad drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. Beside him was my mom, reading a novel. They both looked up at the same time. Mom smiled at me brightly yet Dad just gave a slight smile then went back to his newspaper.
“Good morning,” I greeted them politely and took the seat across them.
“Look, someone wrote a book about Wife of a Spy,” Mom gushed and gave me the book.
I studied the cover. It was the faces of my parents but it didn't quite look like them. Mom was leaning on the wall, wearing a black pencil skirt and a button down white blouse. She was also wearing ankle boots and secretary glasses. A carefree smile was on her face as she looked at my father, her hand on his checkered blue tie. My dad was smirking, wearing a tuxedo, a gun on his hand.
“It's the book of the First Season,” Mom continued. “The author got everything right.”
“I'd read it, don't worry,” I assured her with a smile.
“I'd rather you watch the show,” Dad spoke up. “You would understand it better.”
“Well, some people have other opinions,” a voice said behind us. The three of us looked up and saw Summer, pursing her lips.
“Summer,” my dad said, giving her a friendly smile. “You're awake.”
She rolled her eyes. “Obviously.”
Mom watched the two of them nervously. Then she cleared her throat and smiled at Summer brightly. “Have you eaten breakfast?”
“No.”
“Well, Autumn, too. Why don't the both of you go and have breakfast, hmm?” she suggested.
Summer's face hardened. “You're getting rid of us - as usual. Well, no worries, I'm going anyway. Come on, Autumn.”
“I wasn't--”
“Save your breath, Mom.” She gave me a look. “Autumn.”
I sighed and got up to follow her. We went to the dining room and ordered some breakfast. We sat on the chairs and waited.
I gave my sister a pointed look. “You don't have to be so hard on them, you know.”
“I don't want to talk about it.”
“Well, I do,” I replied rebeliously. “Dad called me 'sweetie' last night! That's saying something, Summer.”
“Oh so now he calls you your nickname, you think they're back to normal? Come on, Autumn, wake up.”
“I'm just saying that there's still hope,” I said, exhausted. “Maybe he wants to change but you never give him a chance because you're stubborn.”
Summer glared at me. “Or more careful.”
I gave her back her glare. “Or plain stubborn.”
Her lips curled. “Autumn, let's just drop it, okay?”
Amazingly, I kept my mouth shut. Really, sometimes you can't talk sense to Summer. She's really stubborn. I know she has her reasons why she acts like that. But she needs to let go of those reasons if she wants us to be back like normal.
“What's that on your hand?” she suddenly asked.
I smiled and raised the book for her to see. “It's a book. Mom gave it to me.”
“Oh.”
“Summer, may I ask you a question?”
“No.”
“Do you want us to go back to normal?” I asked, ignoring her refusal.
Summer took a deep breath then met my eyes. Before she can answer, the waiter approaced us and prepared our food. When he was done, he left and Summer answered my question.
“You don't know how I wanted that to happen,” she replied, her eyes dead serious. “I want us to go back to normal. I want to go back in our old house. I want to go and work a normal job. I want to do that all over again. But I know we couldn't because--”
“Okay, just take a deep breath right there.”
She did and closed her eyes. She was already ranting and by every second, her eyes were getting redder. Summer opened her eyes and tucked a piece of loose hair on her ear.
“I'm sorry,” she apologized. “I got carried away...”
“I understand,” I told her gently. “I'm also sorry. I shouldn't have pressed you.”
She smiled sadly and went back to her food.
I dug on my food, too, but somehow my heart wasn't with it.
***
Xavier took the seat beside me and sighed. “What's with the long face?”
I smiled slightly at him. “Just some family problems.”
“Oh. Forget that I asked,” he said. “Anyway, when are you going to break up with him?”
I glanced at him, a frown on my face. “You never said I'm going to break up with him. And if you ever did, I wouldn't do it.”
“You wouldn't?”
“No.”
“Then why do we sneak out? Don't you think we could get tired with it? Don't you feel guilty about kissing me when you're still with my brother?” he asked, annoyance visible in his face.
“Because... because...”
“Do you like me?”
“Xavier--”
“Answer the question,” he interrupted. “Do you like me?”
“Xavier, I like you. Really, I do. More than I like Sandor. But do you think it would be awkward if I break up with him then date you?”
“You're not going to immediately date me. Let's just say that I would give you some time to move on.”
“It's not that easy to do.”
“Why don't you just break up with Sandor? It's obvious you don't love him and I don't want to hurt him.”
Before I could say anything else, Sandor arrived and sat right beside me. He gave us a smile but I can see suspicion through his eyes.
“Hey, brother and girlfriend,” he said smoothly. “What's up in this lovely afternoon?”
“Autumn has something to tell you,” Xavier spoke up, getting up from his seat. “I'll leave you for some privacy.”
He started to leave and I felt Sandor's hand, gripping my arm. I turned to him and frowned. “It hurts, Sandor. Let go.”
Sandor didn't say anything and continued tightening his hold. I tried to wriggle away. “Sandor! You're hurting me! Let go!”
“What were you doing with him?” he asked, his voice dangerously low.
“We were just talking! Now let go of me!”
Finally, het let go and I gave him a glare. He, in turn, gave me a hard look. “You were planning to break up with me, weren't you?”
“No.”
“Liar.”
“The two of us are just not meant to be!” I cried. “You don't love me for who I am!”
“What are you talking about? I--”
“No! Maybe you had loved me at the past and maybe I did, too, but we must not fool ourselves! It's obvious that I don't love you anymore and-and if you love me well, I'm pretty sure it's with my looks. You love me because of how I look like, not what's inside of me.”
His jaw tightened. “You're wrong. I love you for you. You're everything to me. I love you, Autumn. Why can't you see that?”
“I'm so sorry, Sandor, but I don't.”
His face fell. “What?”
“I don't love you.”
There was a silence that made me want to close my ears because it was too loud. Sandor shook his head. “You will learn to love me again someday.”
“But--”
“You will,” he firmly said. “I'll give you everything you want. Please. Just don't leave me.” His voice turned soft and his eyes grew watery. “I need you.”
“Sandor, sometimes you have to leave me and learn to let go.”
He suddenly stood up, not looking at me. “I love you and I won't let you go. I don't care what Xavier told you. You will stay with me - end of discussion.”
***
“He refused.”
“Why does that not surprise me?”
“Maybe we should stop this,” I suggested. “Whatever we were doing yesterday and last night was just for once. We will stop this.”
Xavier met my eyes. I almost hoped he would refuse so that he we would still continue sneaking out. But, instead, he nodded, agreeing with me. “Yeah, I think we should stop,” he replied.
I nodded, trying to ignore the hole that was forming in my heart. I really like Xavier - more than I like Sandor. He understands me, he makes me laugh, and the way he kisses me just makes my knees so weak (which Sandor never have accomplished).
“So does that mean we should stop our sneaking out... forever?” I asked quietly.
He didn't answer for a while. But finally, he did. “Maybe not forever,” he muttered.
I nodded again, as I felt hope bubbling in my chest.
We were sitting on a bench, facing the beach. My parents were swimming and of course, were acting as teenagers. Plus, I was so shocked when my father took of his shirt and showed off his six-pack abs. So now he's the new Hugh Jackman?
Mandy and Summer, however, were flirting with the bodyguards. They were completely smitten with them. My sister and cousin could be dazzling when they wanted to. Olive was lying on her towel, reading a novel. Even though it's a free vacation, she still reads.
Meanwhile, Sandor was holed up inside his room. He made up an excuse, saying that his head was aching. But it was so obvious he was just trying to ignore me.
“Have Sandor ever told you about Melissa?” Xavier suddenly asked.
“Amnesia, remember?”
“Oh yeah... I forgot.” He cleared his throat and started playing with the loose threads of his shorts. “She was his first love.”
“Really?”
“He met her before he met you. I was fifteen, while he was fourteen. It was obvious in that young age, he fell in love with her. But then she wasn't interested with him. And that made his ego deflate.”
I frowned. “She doesn't like him? Why's that?”
Xavier smirked. “Same reasons as you.”
“Huh?”
“She wasn't interested with him because she was interested with me,” he replied, his smirk getting wider.
“Seriously?” My eyes went wide. Then a thought suddenly occured to me. “Wait. She can't be the girl you told me, right? The one who you gave a diamond ring?”
A look of confusion crossed his face before his mouth opened slightly, forming an “o”. Then he shook his head and said, “No, she wasn't the girl.”
“No?”
He nodded. “Anyway, I don't like Melissa. She's too snobbish and she wears a lot of make up. I like a girl who is just simple.”
“What happened to Sandor?”
“Well, he couldn't believe she would pick me over him. For the first time, the spoiled brat in him woke up. He got jealous with me.”
“Where's Melissa now?”
He shrugged. “Who knows? She just left town one day and never came back.”
I frowned. “I still don't get it. What are you trying to say?”
“I'm trying to tell you that Sandor wouldn't want to lose again. If he truly loves you, then he doesn't want to lose you because of me. He doesn't want another girl to leave him for me.”
My eyes went wide. That made sense. That made perfect sense.
“But unlike Melissa, I like you,” he casually said.
I turned to him in shock. He was smiling. “For real?” I clarified.
“Yep. I like you a lot, Autumn. And I hope you recover from your amnesia because I'm so sure that you would know what I'm saying is real.”
I placed my hand on top of his. “What happened to us, Xavier? Two years ago? I-I have a feeling you're someone who is important.”
He let out a deep sigh. “I'll tell you someday. Not now.”
“Why not now?”
“Just because.”
For a moment, there was silence. Then suddenly, a shadow was looming over us. We both turned from our seats and saw Sandor.
And with a jolt, I suddenly realized my hand was still on top of Xavier.
And Sandor didn't look happy about it.
I quickly let go of Xavier's hand and got up from my seat. I grabbed Sandor's hand and pulled him away from the bench. We went inside the beach house and stopped at the vending machine.
Sandor looked up at me, his blue eyes piercing into my green ones. “Why was your hand on top of his?”
“Sandor, we were just talking.”
“That doesn't answer my question.”
“And I was reassuring him,” I shot back. “He was talking about--.” I stopped. Talking about what exactly? About how he likes me so much?
Sandor's eyes narrowed. “About what?”
“About... about some problem... of his,” I stammered helplessly.
“Yeah, right,” he grumbled. “The truth, Autumn... I just want the truth.”
And that pushed me to the edge.
“Sandor, you don't have to be a possessive boyfriend! Xavier and I are friends, okay? You already told me that you won't let go of me. And that's fine! Really, really fine! So why do you still bug me? Can you just please leave me alone?”
Sandor's jaw dropped. I crossed my arms angrily and started to leave but then he caught my wrist, stopping me.
He enveloped me into a hug and he whispered, “I'm sorry” at my ear. I closed my eyes and sighed.
This simple hug was making me guiltier every second.
***
We were watching Wife of a Spy Episode One of Season One. Unbeknownst to us, Olive was carrying stacks of DVDs in the hope of my parents signing it.
I asked her how she got it and she replied she saved for it. Her mother might be really irresponsible but she still gives her money for her needs.
Anyway, we were in the lobby and we were watching the show. I was sitting on the loveseat with Sandor, his arms around my shoulder. Mom and Dad were sitting on the couch beside Summer and Mandy. There was a proud smile pasted on Dad's face.
Olive was on the beanbag chair, eating chips. And Xavier? Well, he's nowhere to be seen.
On the show, Mom - or should I say, Susan? - was with Brad (Dad) in the kitchen. It seemed like Brad just got home from work.
“You're home late,” Susan tutted as she walked to the stove.
“Oh come on, I had a long day,” Brad complained and walked behind her. He planted a kiss on the back of her neck.
Yuck.
“It's our anniversary,” Susan complained.
“I know,” he murmured, continuing to kiss her neck.
“And do you know I can't concentrate while you're doing that?”
And with that, Brad spun her around and began kissing her passionately.
Summer, meanwhile, groaned. “Precisely the reason why I don't watch this.”
I winced and closed my eyes. I buried my face on Sandor's chest. He laughed, his chest rumbling.
The episode lasted for forty-five minutes. When it was done, Sandor walked me to my room because Olive stayed awhile to watch some more. When we approached at my room, I pressed a soft kiss on his lips.
“Thanks for walking me,” I said with a smile. “Good night.”
“Wait.” He reached for my hand and pressed me to the wall. He kissed me deeply and I have no choice but to kiss him back, too.
I can't help comparing him with Xavier. Xavier's kisses makes my whole body burn with desire even though he was gentle and soft. But in Sandor's kisses, it felt like a normal kiss, even if it was rough and hard.
On the middle of making out, I opened my right eye. Out of the corner, I saw Xavier, watching us.
Immediately, I pushed Sandor away from me.
But it was too late.
When I turned back to where Xavier was, he already stormed off.
_____________________________________________________________________________
So this is a long chapter! :) It's 11:54 PM and it's raining cats and dogs here. I better go cut the author's note short! Hope you liked this chapter and thanks for reading. :)
- Bella, xoxo.