When Collin woke up Saturday morning, stretching into his pillow, eyes closed to the warm sunshine streaming in from the blinds, the first thing he thought of was Heather.
It wasn't a coherent thought. More of a feeling, really. A flutter just behind his sternum, floating between his abdomen and his chest. When he inhaled, it expanded, reaching down his limbs, and when he exhaled, it condensed back into its throbbing center.
With a vision of her smile etched into his mind, he wondered where she was and what she was doing. He didn't think she had a shift today, but wasn't sure. Maybe they could do something together.
Collin hadn't spent time with Heather since he'd gone out for burritos with her, Veronica, Monica, and some guy Monica thought was cute, on Tuesday night. He had seen her briefly at work on Thursday, but that didn't really count. You couldn't have a conversation with a counter between you. Couldn't accidentally bump knees or brush knuckles.
Reluctantly, he opened his eyes. The pile of dirty clothes in his hamper and the mess of papers in front of his blue iMac 3G invaded his vision as his image of Heather faded away. Where the fuck was his phone?
He sat up, looked under his pillow, fluffed out his blue comforter, and ran his hand over the racecar sheets he had bought for his bed as a joke. He finally found it, plugged in, and under his bed.
There was a message. His heart stopped beating as he flipped open the phone and clicked on the icon to see who it was from.
Heather: Good morning! Picked up a last-minute shift this morning, but getting off at 11. Want to do something after?
A frenzied mixture of elation and anxiety clouded his mind as he looked at the corner of his phone screen to check the time. It was only 8:45 in the morning, which was plenty of time to get ready and make a plan.
What time had she texted? He looked back at the message. She had sent it an hour ago. He wasn't sure she would see his message if he texted back now. She'd probably picked up a three-hour shift to cover the morning rush and put her phone on silent.
Collin pressed reply and then stared at the empty text box. What should he say? He wanted words that would encapsulate his excitement at her text without being too overly enthusiastic. Suave, not creepy. Smooth, not desperate.
His thumbs hovered with indecision.
He started by pressing the 4, followed by the 6 three times and then three times again, then the 3, and continued pressing the keypad until he had written, "Good morning!" But what should he say next? Sounds good? Blah. Looking forward to it? Eh. So glad you texted. I was just thinking about you. Too much.
Finally, he just went on instinct.
Collin: Good morning! If you're up for some fun, I have something in mind. See you at 11.
Once he pressed send, he made sure the volume on his notifications was on, tossed his phone back onto his mattress, and hopped into the shower. As he let the water pour over his head and down his back, he tried to think of what "fun" thing he could come up with. There were so many possibilities.
After toweling off, he got dressed in the new jeans and graphic tee Heather had helped him pick out at the mall the previous weekend, and then headed out to the kitchen.
Diana and Sam were both sitting at the dining room table, opposite each other, half-empty cups of coffee next to open books. Collin poured himself a mug, grabbed a chocolate-covered Entenmann's donut from the counter, and took a seat at the head of the table.
"Reading anything good?" he asked, his mouth full, a stray crumb flying from his lips.
Diana glanced at him sideways.
"Sorry," he added, covering his mouth and swallowing.
"Trying to get this reading done so I don't need to worry about it," Sam answered. "Because you know I'm going to be all sorts of hungover tomorrow."
"Tonight's the big night." Collin nodded, taking a sip of coffee to wash down his bite of donut.
"Did you invite Heather?" Sam asked.
He hadn't, so he shook his head.
"Why not?" Sam asked, closing her book and putting it down.
"I don't know," Collin answered honestly. "Just doesn't seem like her jam."
And it was true. The two times they went dancing, it had been at the Irish Pub-turned-club, and when they went to dinner it had been with her friends. The only time she'd hung out with his friends was when Sam joined them at the mall, but that barely counted. She and Sam knew each other from yoga.
He tried to picture Heather in a queer space, and he couldn't do it. A square peg in a round hole was cliche, but it seemed an apt comparison.
"Well," Sam started. "You should. It's going to be epic."
"If you like this girl, invite her," Diana agreed, her eyes not leaving the page she was reading.
"Maybe you're right," Collin conceded. "I'm meeting her at 11. I'll mention it."
"I have extra tickets to tonight's show, too," Sam offered. "Test her reaction to debauchery on stage, before throwing her into the lion's den of the afterparty."
"Speaking of the party," Diana began, closing her book, "Jody and I were going to pick up the kegs when the liquor store opens at 9."
"Did she come home last night?" Collin asked.
"No." Diana rolled her eyes and gave a slight shake of her head. "She's picking me up."
"Oh, hold up." Collin stood and took his wallet out of his back pocket. He still had all his tip money, plus some other cash. "Here," he handed over three twenty-dollar bills. "For my share of the liquor."
"Thanks." Diana took the money and then handed one bill back to Collin. "This is more than your share. Some people who are in the show are also pitching in." She placed the rest of the cash in her front jeans pocket and walked down the stairs.
Collin took the twenty, folding into his wallet. Then he sat back down and took another bite of his donut.
"Think about tonight," Sam said. "It really is going to be epic."
Collin swallowed his bite and washed down the crumbs with another sip of coffee. "No doubt."
Sam went back to reading and Collin tried to brainstorm ideas about how to spend the day with Heather. There was a gorgeous hike on campus that would give them time alone in the woods. Alternatively, the beach offered gorgeous views. Or, if he went a completely different direction, there were plenty of activities to do, especially by the boardwalk: bowling, mini golf, the arcade.
When it was time for Collin to leave, he still wasn't sure about the best move. Although, because he was walking, and not riding his bike, he still had time to come up with an idea. At least money wasn't an issue. His chunk of cash was burning a hole in his wallet, and there was no one he'd rather spend it on than Heather.
As he reached the sidewalk outside of the cafe, his phone beeped. He pulled it out of his pocket and looked down.
Heather: Cool. C u soon :)
When he looked back up from his phone screen, she was standing in front of him, an amused smile on her face.
"I didn't realize I was going to see you quite so soon when I sent you that text."
Collin laughed, a warmth spreading from the tip of his ears down to the length of his toes. "Good shift?" he asked.
"Good, now that it's over. I'm sure I smell like coffee, but I needed the hours." She shrugged one shoulder, her loose auburn hair bouncing with the motion.
"I like coffee," he smiled, his eyes taking her in. She was wearing a snug white t-shirt decorated with an orange flower, flared jeans, and a pair of black shoes with a bit of a chunky heel. Not an ideal outfit for a hike. Plan B it was, then. "So, you up for something fun?"
"Definitely." She raised her eyebrows, tilted her head, and looked at him from out of the corner of her eyes. "What adventures did you have in mind?"
Collin rubbed his hands together. "How do you feel about roller coasters?"
There was a very slight hesitation before she met his eyes and bit at the inside of her lip. "They scare me a little. But I guess that's what makes them fun."
"Well, let's go have some fun." He hopped down from the curb and took a step.
Heather followed him. "It's funny," she said.
"What is?"
"I used to love going to the boardwalk here in Santa Cruz when I was a kid. Came here with my family at least once every summer. But I actually don't think I've been there since starting at UCSC."
"No?" Collin wanted to hear more. Wanted to know more.
Their steps fell into sync as they navigated down the block.
"Do you go there often?" she asked.
"No," he answered honestly. "I forget how close it is."
And with that, their hands seemed to get even closer. An accidental brushing of knuckles as their arms swayed. Fingertips catching each other and then letting go. Pinkies hooking, and staying. For a moment, Collin forgot how to breathe.