At some point I thought
That I should just disappear
Will my mind feel at ease
If I had disappeared ?
That me who hated herself
For not being able to receive love
That me who was screaming to be loved
But no one came for her aid
The world seemed so dark
And she cried every night
That me who wanted to be someone else
But she never knew herself
That me who forgot about herself
And put up a smile even when she wanted to cry
That me who hated the way she felt
And overthinking made her ill
"With time it's gonna be okay"
Was really true for me
As time flew
I started to heal myself
But at times when I felt genuinely happy
I feared that I'll be in pain again
I was scared that someone
Would snatch my happiness away
That me who was silently afraid
Is still alive somewhere deep in me
Everything in my life changed so fast
But look at me, I'm still afraid of the past