"Jungkook, speak to me at least?" Namjoon cups my shoulder while saying it. I know how annoyed he might be with me as I kept quiet the whole way when he kept on asking me things. I hate that I ignore him, but I have nothing left to say. It's like everything has come to an end my life, my career, my motivation, my love.
I walk out as soon as the elevator opens up and walk feebly towards my apartment. My legs can't even walk. I raise my hand towards the password keypad, but my mind is blank. I don't know what is it? Confusedly looking over it, Namjoon moves my hand aside and types my birth date on the keypad- what an unfortunate day it was. The door opens and I quietly rush towards my bedroom, totally ignoring the presence of hyungs in the lounge. They never stop me either. I open the door with a thud and abruptly fall onto my bed, without closing the door. It's lonely everywhere.
"Namjoon? Is it...true?" Hobi's voice intrudes the lounge's silence.
"Please tell me it's not. Please," Jimin's sweet, light voice echoes.
"She is leaving." There's silence yet again as these words once again invade my inner peace and make me realize about my helplessness. The pain was growing more and more and I had no remedy for it, nothing in this world can make me feel better.
"But why? Did things go this bad?" Taehyung is concerned. Things went really bad, but the worst is that I never knew when it was happening. I had a premonition for her leaving this job, but the thought that she was going to stay somehow within this vicinity gave me some relief. But now, she is moving away, so away not just from the distance, but from my heart.
"I don't know. I was confused too." Namjoon sits on the couch as I hear the puffy sound of the cushions compressing. "When she told me to bring the contract, I was like maybe she wanted to shorten the duration of it, or even modify it consensually. But it turned out to be for her resignation, worse she is moving back to America."
"How can she do that?" Though Yoongi never talks about anyone's personal matters, especially love life, I was surprised to hear his furious tone. "She should know whom she is messing with."
"Yoongi, chill. You cannot force her on things. It's her decision that she has a right to make fully."
"Namjoon, she is a traitor. They run away like that," Yoongi is losing his temper.
"Yoongi, you have to understand her health issues as well. It wouldn't have been easy for her too," Hobi explains.
"I don't give a damn shit about it. My brother would have done everything for her, EVERYTHING. If just for once, she would have given him that privilege. Jungkook does not deserve all of this."
"He does have a point," Jin enters the conversation. "But Yoongi, it's hard. She can never come out of the trauma of her mother. And know that whenever she will see Jungkook, she can't manage to remain sane for long."
"I don't care. She did wrong. She can never know the pain Jungkook is going through."
"And Jungkook can't imagine what she is going through too, Yoongi." There's a sudden silence in the lounge before Yoongi's tone raises a bit more.
"If you think she is innocent, go and live with her."
"Yoongi, you need to chill. He is just-" and before Namjoon completes his sentence, I hear an unusual sound of feet thumping.
"You don't need to tell me what to do!" Jin's shriek catches me off guard and I know exactly what he is doing right now; holding Yoongi from his collar. "And stop shitting about Hana!"
It's funny how they are possessive towards her. Jin has never done this for me but is doing it for her. Nobody dares to speak against her, when they shouldn't, except Yoongi who is too possessive for me. But still, the little moments of Hana's friendship with Yoongi strike my mind and a faded smile appears. It makes me surprised at the same time how Yoongi is reacting toward her- there was never any hate between them. Is this because of me?
Just less than a year and Hana had made a place in all of their hearts. Jin mentioning her favorites while cooking, Namjoon casually talking about her while planning group activities, Hobi secretly liking our pictures on social media from his undercover fan account, Taehyung always making an extra cup of coffee forgetfully, Jimin's tears falling unconsciously as he cleans his equipment, along with her makeup tools. Suga is never home now. And me? A wreck.
"What will you do? Huh?" Yoongi is arguing back, and I close my eyes while placing my hands behind my head. Hyungs will handle it.
"Yoongi, better stop right now or it would be worse. Hana did nothing wrong," Jin argues, while Hobi's 'stop' remains in the background.
"Oh really? You know what?" Yoongi smirks loudly enough that I could hear him. "You can never see the right and wrong. If you ever did, you wouldn't have visited your dad ever again in jail!"
My eyes abruptly open up as Yoongi mentions Jin's father. The argument is turning ugly. The lounge is quiet as I can imagine everyone staring at Yoongi for what he said. But it would be okay, he will apologize.
"How dare you!" Jin hits Yoongi on his face, and he groans. I sit down, still waiting for Namjoon to handle the ongoing mess. The thing I want the most right now is mental peace, and they are giving me none. "Don't drag my personal life in this, Yoongi. I tell you!"
"But why not? This is how you'll remember the things Jungkook did for you and your family. How can you shamelessly support her instead of him, right now?"
Yet again, Yoongi doesn't apologize and drags the matter even more. I hate this.
"Listen, ya!" Jimin and Namjoon try to calm down Jin, while I imagine Hobi holding Yoongi as he is the only one you can. "I don't care whatever the fuck you think, but you need to understand that everybody lives their own freaking life! Hana isn't bound to stay here if she doesn't want to."
Jin is right, she isn't bound to and I ain't bounding her either. But it's unbelievable how both of them are fighting, the eldest hyungs of the house for her.
"I DON'T CARE AS I SAID! She is hurting Jungkook, and if anything happens to him, I swear I'll tell her who I am!" Yoongi is acting stupid right now. This kind of possessiveness is something I don't want.
"You know what? I'll go right now!"
"No, Yoongi what the hell-" as Hobi loses control of him and he snatches out of his grip to run towards the door, I run as fast as I can and close the door with my back on it, while Yoongi stands a foot away from me.
"Hyung, stop."
"Jungkook-"
"STOP THIS!" After I scream out my lungs, Yoongi steps back and stares at everyone in the lounge. My eyes, which were clenched close, opened and my tongue that was constantly wriggling my lip ring, came to rest.
"Enough. If you all say another word, I will forget our relationship and I am not kidding."
Namjoon gives a dead stare to Yoongi and Jin, meanwhile, Jimin just walks around cupping his mouth with his hand as if he is thinking something. Taehyung and Hobi stare back at me.
"How can you guys argue like that? Is it even a thing to argue about? If you can't agree, shut up and keep my personal life out of your mouth." All of them stared at me as if it was the first time I talked to them like that. My mind might not be in the right place.
"Personal life?" Yoongi turns around to eye me, though I thought he would stay quiet after I literally shut him up. "So, now you are talking about your personal life to us? You grew in front of our eyes and we advised you through every phase of your life, and now you are saying 'don't be personal'?" I gazed at him. "Ahaaaa, what an irony." Yoongi's sarcastic grin is on display and he shoves his hands in his pocket.
"When my relationships will become a play for you, this is all that I have to say."
"Play? Who the fuck made it that? Me? Them?" Yoongi almost steps onto me, his voice angry, but hurting. "Or Hana?" Tears glisten in my eyes as soon as her name is brought up. "You need to understand. Open your eyes, Jungkook."
"Does it matter anyway? She is leaving. I can't hold onto her anymore."
"And why the hell do you blame yourself? That is what my point is!" Yoongi almost screams in an irritated tone.
"Because I did everything. You say my mom did it? I am a part of her. I may forgive my mom for this, but not myself. And whatever Hana did, I don't blame her for anything." I stop talking before my voice breaks off. Yoongi doesn't say a word now as I know he is frustrated that I am not getting his point that I am completely getting.
"Should we...do something..to like stop her?" Jimin stutters to me and I look up at him.
"If my love can't stop her here, I don't know what will," I say my eyes on the carpet. Because if I looked up, hyungs would see my falling tears.
"I lost her," I raise my head and my tears are on full display, along with my sniffing nose. "I lost her, Hyungs." My palms automatically open in front of them, while I display my empty, barren hands. "What a loser I am," My voice breaks down along with myself. My calmed emotions now burst into an ugly cry. From the time I last saw her in the room, I never cried, but now as if the world was coming over me, my body kept no calm. My hands guarded my eyes, while I cried like a baby and slid against the door and hit the floor. A pair of arms grip me and hug me warmly.
"Don't cry, Jungkook, please. I can't see you like this anymore," Yoongi's almost crying voice reverberates through my ears, his vocal cords just near my ears.
"Kookie, don't cry like that," Taehyung runs and grabs my shoulder as well. The more they tried to calm me down, the more I cried. Nothing seems alright.
"I...am...helpless." I kept crying and memories of her encircled my mind. She was everywhere, laughing, crying, helping, and doing her job, lying in my bed, and then her 'sick' self. I am never getting over her. After crying for a long, I bring myself back to my senses and pick myself up with Taehyung's support. Sobbing, I walk towards my room and when Taehyung follows me, Yoongi stops him and lets me walk alone towards the room, my heart breaking for a millionth time now. But I stop midway and turn towards them.
"I won't stop you to go and meet her for maybe the last time, give her your love or whatsoever. But please, don't bring our relationship up. She is sick and I want her to be fine. Please."
Jimin's face reassures me as he lightly nods at my remark. I enter my room and fall onto my bed again and close my eyes shut. Darkness seems nice, and in no time, I fall asleep already feeling sick of myself.
*********
"Hey, hey! Where are you sneaking?" Hobi asks me as I just walked out of my apartment. I look at him, sighing heavily, biting my lip.
"You are not going on a walk, most probably." He says, examining my puffy jacket.
"Yeah, I am not going on a walk." Hobi still looks at me with questioning eyes.
"Look, I am not tryna keep an eye on you, but like it's quite suspicious that you are sneaking out at 6 am when there's nothing but fog everywhere."
I keep looking at him with my swollen, stinging eyes.
"Kookie, are you alright?" He walks near to me and bows down a bit to see my eyes, guarded by my messy hair strands. As soon as he notices my red eyes, he embraces me in his arms and my face buries down on his shoulder. He lightly taps my back.
"Do you need more space? I thought I should stay with you and not leave you alone," he says. I control my tears and with a huff pull myself back.
"Ah no hobi, I am glad you stayed. This house haunts me now when I am alone."
"It will be okay, Kook. Just give it some time, alright? Everything will go back in place."
"I doubt that, really much."
"Time is a healer, Kook. You got to trust me." He gives me a bright smile and caresses my shoulder with his hand. "Now, tell me where you are heading this early?"
"Umm, don't worry. I'll be right back. I just have to do something important."
"Not Koo hiding things from me now."
"Ah no, I never want to, it's just," I giggle lightly. It's not like I want to hide it from Hobi, but it's better to be somewhere alone without anyone acknowledging it.
"It's okay, I was just kidding bro. Drive safe and don't go too far, okay? Call me if you need to," he winks and rolls his lips, his eyes shining bright. I wonder if people like him know how much comfort they bring in someone's life through their little assurance and a tiny smile. I doubt there's anyone like him in this world; there's only one hobi, my hyung.
"You aren't going to the gym? It's almost time." I say, checking my wristwatch.
"You should cherish sleeping, sometimes you know." He giggles and slaps my arm, walking back to the apartment now. I could definitely tell that he didn't sleep last night by his swollen eyes. What did I do to deserve all of them?
I smirk and walk towards the elevator to head out now.