"Why are we going to this dinner, again?" I ask Carter. "Especially when the Principal's List comes out tonight."
"It was a last resort," his reply is muffled as he pulls on a white button up, immediately rolling the sleeves up his forearms.
If I'm being honest, I don't mind going out to dinner. It's almost like a celebration. A reward for absolutely crushing our last two partner debates. I don't know what happened, but I can only imagine that yesterday's events sparked some fire in Carter and I. We were relentless. Opposing every point the other team made, filling up every second of our time, and scribbling enough notes to support three debates. Our real victory was our last debate, when the judges announced with smiles stretched on their faces that we got a perfect score. A perfect fucking score. I've never heard of that in the history of JW Debate. Winning felt like second nature. And I hope it always feels like that.
After Carter is done adjusting his shirt, he turns towards me and asks, "Ready to go?"
I take in his outfit. It's no different than everything else he's worn this week, but I find my eyes straying towards the muscle definition under his thin shirt, the rings twinkling on his fingers, the dimples that sneak up around his smile, and his eyes. His gorgeous fucking eyes that make me feel like I'm drowning in a sea of green. It's a lovely feeling.
I realize that I haven't answered his question. "Oh, yeah. I'm ready."
For some reason, that makes him smile, flashing pearly whites and a dimple. I walk closer to him and smile when I can make out the freckles dusting the bridge of his nose. He doesn't say anything and just lets me stare. I'm glad he does because I don't know if I would be able to turn away.
And then I realize what I'm doing. I'm soaking up Carter's presence, hoping to not have to let it go. I clear my throat, "Let's go."
We wander down the hall and towards the elevator. We're going straight down to the first floor, where Gracie and Felix are waiting for us. She was excited when I invited her to come. She said that she hasn't really been able to doing anything because her debate partner is, as she put it, "a fun sponge." That makes me wish that we met sooner because I would have loved if she came bowling with Felix, Carter, and I. She's definitely coming go-karting tomorrow, though. I wasn't up for it yesterday.
We spot them right away, standing by the check-in desk and stealing packs of mints out of the glass candy jar, clearly ignoring the "$1.00 Each" sign above them.
I sneak up behind Felix and lean into his ear. "Those aren't free," I whisper.
He immediately drops the pack of mints and spins around, screeching in the process. "Oh my God, Sadie! You fucking scared me!"
I just laugh.
Gracie grabs onto my shoulders and pulls me into a hug. Pulling back, still gripping my shoulders, she says, "You look fucking beautiful! Green looks so good on you, and with the gold jewelry. You are so fucking hot."
Laughing at her comment, I take in her appearance. She's fluffed up her hair and rolled her bangs, making it look like she got a fresh blowout. She's wearing a simple black dress with lace details that hugs her figure perfectly. There's a silver locket hanging around her neck that matches the straps of her heels. Similar to mine, her makeup is minimal, with mascara, eyeliner, and nude lipstick. She looks absolutely stunning, and I tell her just that.
"You flatter me," she gushes, waving me off with her hand.
"What about me?" Felix pouts.
"You look very nice, Felix," I tell him. And he does. He's wearing a black dress shirt and dark jeans. His hair is a mess, per usual, but it works for him. He's switched out his gold glasses for a silver rounded pair. They suit him.
"Taxi's here," Carter says.
We all nod and move to exit the hotel.
The restaurant we're going to–some fancy steakhouse–is a little further than downtown, so we have to actually drive there. Dr. Snyder had a meeting to go to, so he said that he'd meet us there. It's only 5:40 because Dr. Snyder has another meeting late at night. There's a lot to do now that there's only partner against partner debates and then the ceremony left. Ms. Davenport has been frantically trying to get someone to cover her commitments tomorrow night so she can drive over to see the ceremony. I'm hoping she sees Carter and I decked out in gold. Maddie always looked good in gold and, now, I guess I do too.
Gracie offers to take the passenger seat of the taxi and immediately begins chatting with the girl driving it. The last I heard, they were talking about some artist, and I'm now thinking that Gracie is going to end up being an art major when she goes to university. I plan on asking her.
That leaves me sandwiched between Carter and Felix in the middle seat. Felix, who won't stop asking whether he's going to get judged for liking his steak extra well done. And Carter, who's leg is pressed up against mine and who's hand is firmly gripping my thigh. I don't know if he realizes that he's doing it, but it's making sparks shoot up and down my legs that are only covered by sheer black tights. I swear I saw Felix look down at where Carter's hand is and smile, but he may have just been staring at the lone rubber duck on the car floor.
"If it's an option, you shouldn't be embarrassed ordering it," Carter says, sighing at Felix's dramatics.
"What if it's not an option. I'm sure some places just stop at well done," Felix worries.
"What kind of person likes extra well done steak?" Gracie asks, turning around in her seat to face us.
"See?" Felix yells. "Do you see this judgement?"
"At this rate, you're not going to be ordering steak at all," I say.
"You know what, I'm ordering just well done. I'm not willing to take the risk," he concludes, crossing his arms over his chest.
I didn't think about what we would all talk about with Dr. Snyder. I mean, Carter and Felix planned this whole thing, but, after thanking Dr. Snyder for setting up such a wonderful competition, I can't think of anything else to say. He asks us about our schools. Gracie's in the eleventh grade, as well, so it's just Felix who's still in the tenth grade and talking about how early his bedtime is and how he can't leave campus without notice. Dr. Snyder laughs while we talk and reminisces on "the good old days" when he was at boarding school.
"I think you'll find tomorrow's debate topic interesting," he says with a wink. I feel anticipation rolling in my stomach at the idea that tomorrow is our last debate day and Dr. Snyder probably knows who's in the lead right now. I almost consider asking him, but I know he'd never tell us.
After our food comes out a few minutes later–Felix got a well done steak– I immediately dig into my steak with mashed potatoes, taking sips of my tea in between.
"So, how did you all run into each other?" Dr. Snyder asks, guiding a forkful of caesar salad to his mouth.
"Sadie and I go to the same school, so we've known each other for a while. Felix sat beside me on the first day and Gracie and Sadie met before a partner debate and then again at the ball. We kind of all just began hanging out together at lunch and outside of the competition," Carter answers.
Gracie, Felix, and I nod along with his response.
"Funny how people just find each other like that," Dr. Snyder says. "I hope you all stay in contact after the competition is over."
We nod again. I haven't really thought about what would happen after the competition ends. I really miss Ana and Angie, so I can't wait to go back to seeing them everyday, but Gracie and Felix have become such good friends of mine that I can't imagine not seeing them all the time. I know we'll keep in touch, but I don't know how far their schools are away from Fairridge. And I don't know what's going to happened between Carter and I. Will we just go back to out competitive selves? Not even I can deny that we make one helluva team. But I fear that we're slowly inching toward something more than reluctant debate partners. He's the most cocky, ignorant, annoying person I've ever met. Yet, he does all of those things so fucking well.
An hour and a half later, Carter, Gracie, Felix, and I–after a few protests from Dr. Snyder–split the bill. Gracie and Felix invite Carter and I to go to a 16+ club in the area, but I decline and so does Carter. After shaking each of our hands, Dr. Snyder waves at us and climbs into his car. Carter asks if I want to walk over to the grocery store a few minutes away so we can some snacks. I agree because we haven't gone grocery shopping since last week, and we won't have anytime to get anything for the ride home tomorrow.
"Well, that went well," Felix says, following us outside of the restaurant.
"Yeah," I agree.
"It was kind of awkward," Gracie says, placing her hands on her hips and craning her neck to see if she can spot the club from where we're standing.
I laugh. "Yeah, a little."
Carter stays silent.
"We'll see you guys tomorrow," Felix says, weaving his arm through Gracie's as they turn on their heels and walk off towards the club.
"See you," Carter and I both say, waving them off.
It's not necessarily dark outside, but it's definitely dim. The sun is quickly setting behind clusters of grey clouds. The air is giving off the feeling of incoming rain. A jacket or sweater would have been a good idea because my arms are quickly becoming covered in goosebumps. Carter notices and tucks me swiftly into his side. I don't even bother analyzing what it means, grateful to steal some of his body heat.
"So, how are you feeling about our performance today, partner?" Carter asks.
"I think we fucking crushed it," I say.
"That we did," his eyes are sparkling as if someone dusted them in gold glitter.
We walk in silence for a while, hoping to reach the grocery store before the inevitable rain begins pouring down. There's no more snow on the ground, and none has fallen from the sky in a while, but I'm pretty sure any rain that falls right now would be close to freezing.
I feel my phone buzz inside my bra. My dress doesn't have pockets and my thin tights would not hold it at the waist band. As soon as I retrieve my phone–earning a raised eyebrow from Carter–and check the screen, my breathing stops and my eyes widen. The only notification lighting up my home screen is one from Fairridge Academy. The Principal's List is out. Carter seems to have glanced down at my phone because he stops walking, lets go of my waist, and turns so that he's standing in front of me.
"Are you going to... open it?" He asks.
I nod. I don't know if opening it with Carter right in front of me is a good idea. One of us is almost guaranteed to win, and I don't think either of us will take it well. Pushing my worry down, I click on the notification that takes me to my email. I download the attached list. It's loading. I'm biting my lip so hard, I'm threatening to draw blood. It loads. There are fifty names on the list. I zoom into the top. I suck in a breath.
1. Sadie Jones - Average: 98.5%.
My heart skips. My lips spread into a wide smile. I look up to see Carter beaming just as bright. My smile drops. Why does he look so happy? I look back at the list and my mouth drops into a deep frown at the words beside my average.
& Carter Conners - Average: 98.5%.
Carter looks back down too, and his dimpled smile is quickly wiped away.
I don't fucking believe it. This shit, all over again. A fucking tie. A spit in the face. A confirmation that Carter and I remain on the same level when all I want to do is beat him. First place doesn't belong to us; it belongs to me. And I the last thing I want is to see his name beside mine, as if we're the same. We're not. Not even fucking close.
Droplets of water begin falling onto my phone. Fan-fucking-tastic. It's fucking raining. I wipe the phone screen on the skirt of my dress and take off down the street. The rain begins falling faster and faster, and there's nothing to duck under.
I can hear Carter running towards me, but I don't stop and turn around. That is until he grips my arm and does it for me. The rain has plastered his brown hair across his forehead, which he annoyedly swipes away at.
"What is your fucking problem?" He asks. "So what? We tied. We already have."
I don't really know why I'm so angry. There's this ball of heat in the pit of my stomach, lighting flames in my chest. I'm frustrated. I'm annoyed. I'm fucking tired of this. This was my moment to prove that I'm back to winning. That I'm not dragging behind Carter or beside him, but that I'm walking ahead.
Heavy rain clouds my vision, but I throw my head up to look at him. "I didn't work my ass off for a fucking tie!" I'm screaming. Into the rain. Into the fast approaching night. And I don't even care.
"You think I don't work my ass off?" He shouts.
"I don't think you do!" I don't drop the volume of my voice. "Everything you do is riddled with errors. You don't deserve first place and you never will."
"You don't think I deserve it? You're just a smartass who thinks that she's better than everyone else. Newsflash: you don't stand on some pedestal above the rest of us."
His words just make me more angry. I don't care about the freezing rain when the heat radiating off my body makes it feel like a warm shower. "That's rich coming from you. You walk around campus like some golden boy that gets handed everything he wants. You're shitty-ass art piece even got a hundred percent and it looked nothing like me!"
"You're still on about that?" He lets out an annoyed breath. "You don't know anything about me."
"And I don't fucking want to!"
"Of course you don't," he laughs to himself. "You just want to win. Who gives a fuck about the rest of us? You think you're just so much better."
My hair is soaked. My eyes can't make out anything expect for the outline of Carter's body so close to mine. My dress is stuck to my skin, and, even though I can't feel them, I know my arms and legs are covered in goosebumps. But none of that matters when my heart is pounding with the force of a hammer. "I work to be better. Not everyone has a family restaurant to fall back on."
His jaw clenches and his eyebrows twist together. He's mad. "And what? You think you deserve more because you've had it hard? Do we all need to fall back and let Little Miss. Perfect get her first place title? Are you just too good for anything else?"
"I don't settle for anything else," I say, my words sharp.
"Well you didn't! Congratu-fucking-lations. There's a nice bold '1' beside your name. So what's the fucking problem?" He asks the question again.
"The problem is that it's a fucking tie. What's the point of a tiebreaker if we're still fucking tied?"
"Well, I'm sorry. I didn't make the fucking list!" He yells. His white shirt is almost see-through from the amount of water its soaked up.
"But you're always there!" I scream back at him. "I swear, I can't do anything without you sweeping in and ruining everything I've worked for!"
"You're the one that literally lost yesterday!" Oh. No. He. Fucking. Didn't.
"Don't even go there," my voice is ice cold "But who helped get us a perfect score to make up for it, huh? What happened to all of that 'you're a winner' shit?"
"Well, now you're acting like a sore loser."
"Well, I'm sorry I'm not jumping for joy from our tie. Not all of us are content with just settling."
"I'm not settling," he raises his voice even more. "I'm just not acting like a fucking lunatic from having to share first place for four months."
I take a finger and repeatedly jab it at his chest. "You know what? Fuck you!"
"Fuck you too" he says.
"Oh, fuck this. I hate you, Carter. Get it? Hate!"
For a second everything stops. I expect him to scream something back at me, but I can't even comprehend what's happening when Carter wraps his fingers around my wrist and pulls me towards him, capturing his mouth with mine.
The kiss is hot and desperate. I can feel his lips wet from the rain, and droplets of water cascade down the backs of my hands when I thread them through his hair. He pulls me closer to him by my hips to deepen the kiss. He slides his tongue through the barrier of my lips, and I return the same level of eagerness when he groans into my mouth.
"Say it again," he murmurs.
"What?" I gasp, moving my arms to wrap around his neck as my hands glide down to play with the hair at the top of his neck.
"My name. Say it again."
"Carter, I–"
He doesn't give me a chance to finish my sentence before he's back to devouring my mouth with the same intensity as before. I should pull away, but I just can't bring myself to. I always thought there was nothing sweeter than victory, but this is ice cream topped with cubes of sugar, freshly bloomed roses, and victory all rolled up into one package. He moves forward until my back hits a lamppost that I didn't even know was there. He pushes my back closer against the concrete while he kisses me harder. His hands roam up and down my body and his lips find my neck when I tilt my head back, a soft moan escaping through my swollen lips.
"You are so fucking infuriating," he mumbles against the hot skin of my neck. "And I love it."
...
A/N
Things just got a little heated...