Summary: Yelena is visiting Natasha's grave, breaking down as she has been since she found out the news, and Fanny suddenly starts acting strangely. At first, she believes that Fanny has just gone out of her mind, but then she quickly realizes that the true reason runs so much deeper and is far more meaningful.
Yelena stood before her sister's grave, falling apart into tears for what seemed like the millionth time.
Even though it had been several weeks since she came back from the blip and since she had found out about Natasha, it still felt like she had just found out. She had hardly been able to pull herself together. She had cried almost every moment of every day, and grief was tugging her to her knees almost constantly.
It was just so, so hard without Natasha. Her big sister. Her reason. Her favorite person in the entire world.
Yelena released a particularly violent sob as she allowed the pain to take hold of her more strongly. She just missed her so, so much.
However, to her shock, she suddenly felt a cold nose pressing to her hand. She looked down sorrowfully, realizing that it was just Fanny. It was rather odd that the dog was coming over to comfort her. Usually, Fanny was so excited to run loose and play in the woods around the graveyard that she did not come back until Yelena called her.
Yelena ran her hand over Fanny's head, scratching affectionately at her fur as she tried to contain at least a little of her tears.
"Hey, pup... I'm okay... I just miss her," Yelena admitted, her voice breaking as she stared at the grave before her.
Fanny remained there in her grasp for a moment before stepping forward and looking back at her oddly. Yelena looked at her, feeling pain gripping her as she thought of Fanny's name and the backstory behind it that was only magnified by the grave there before her.
However, she was immediately less sad and more upset when Fanny suddenly walked onto the grave.
"Fanny! Don't walk on that! No!" Yelena scolded, starting to make a move to try to get her off of the patch there on the ground. However, to her shock, Fanny just stared her right in the eyes calmly.
Yelena just froze, watching her silently and not daring to say anything since the dog was behaving so strangely. She was not afraid of her at all, but she wanted to figure out what Fanny was about to do.
After just a moment, Fanny rolled over on her back in front of Yelena, making a small noise that was not quite a whine or a bark. Yelena just stared at her, realizing that Fanny was laying on Natasha's grave and that she was quite obviously upside down.
She stared blankly at the dog, and Fanny just watched her. Yelena felt the strangest feeling overcome her as she fully realized that her Fanny never acted like this. Fanny never had stepped foot on Natasha's grave. She had somehow seemed to understand that it was forbidden territory and that she was not allowed to.
But now with the combination of Fanny's sudden position upside down and her odd placement on Natasha's grave, she had the weirdest thought.
What if somehow... some way... this was her sister in the form of Yelena's beloved dog?
So feeling quite stupid indeed but deciding that no one was around to truly judge her, Yelena wet her lips quickly before speaking up.
"Natashka?" Yelena questioned, her voice sounding rougher and raspier than she intended. Fanny just looked at her patiently and calmly, her tail wagging as she gazed up at Yelena from her position laying on her back. Her head tilted slightly as she eyed Yelena, and Yelena could almost see something in her that reminded her of her big sister.
"Is that you?" Yelena asked, and Fanny woofed gently.
Yelena's eyes widened as she swallowed hard. She was almost unable to fully process what was happening. She suddenly felt her knees grow weak and heavy, and they pulled her down to collapse onto the ground in front of Fanny. Fanny then rolled over onto her stomach, getting up more calmly than Yelena had ever seen her as she came over to sit in front of the blonde so that they could look into each other's eyes.
Yelena stared at her, trying to see any physical sign of Natasha. To her disappointment, there was no sign of Natasha in terms of how Fanny looked. Fanny had the same fur, eyes, and everything that she always had. However, the actual emotion behind those eyes and that stubborn guilt along with adoration is what gave her away.
"Natashka," Yelena breathed before throwing her arms around her neck and dragging her close.
It was indeed Natasha because the dog remained perfectly calm before licking gently at her ear, trying to show any affection that she could. Fanny would have been excitedly wriggling in her arms at that point, but that undying coolness was what gave Natasha away. Yelena closed her eyes tightly, clinging to her fur as she buried her face in her neck. Natasha nestled closer, and Yelena took a deep breath, finding herself a little disappointed at the realization that Natasha smelled like Fanny rather than herself. However, she was honestly just grateful to have her at all at this point.
So many questions were swirling through Yelena's mind. Why did Natasha have to go in the first place? Why could she not have found another way?
However, she ended up just settling on the one that was most perplexing in terms of the immediate situation they were in at this moment.
"How are you here with me?" Yelena asked uncertainly, her voice shaking with the tears that were spilling down her cheeks and with the effort it was taking to keep from outright sobbing. Natasha just gently huffed in something akin to a bark as she pressed her cold, wet nose against Yelena's neck softly.
Yelena shook her head, realizing that Natasha could not respond to her in this form. Yelena swallowed hard, trying not to think about the fact that her sister was truly dead and gone and that she was likely just losing her mind right now.
Natasha pulled back a little, her nose poking at Yelena's face playfully, and Yelena, despite the pain, confusion, and hurt in her chest, found herself giggling just a little in spite of herself. Natasha licked Yelena's cheek gently.
"Y'know, if you're actually her, then you're being really disgusting," Yelena told her with a slight laugh, not truly minding it too much since she knew Natasha was utilizing this form to give her the little kisses and affections that Yelena had always wanted. Natasha pulled back a little, and Yelena leaned forward, pressing a kiss to the side of Natasha's snout.
At this moment, Yelena was not even seeing the dog before her that was so obviously in Fanny's form as her dog. All she could see was Natasha and everything that Natasha was to her.
"But I don't really care," Yelena reassured her, and Natasha licked the tip of her nose. Yelena huffed slightly before just reaching forward and running her fingers through Natasha's thick fur, trying her best to remain as positively thinking as she could. After all, she wanted to enjoy her time with her sister. She had somehow been gifted this beautiful opportunity and she was not about to pass it up.
Natasha stepped back from her carefully and Yelena very hesitantly let her go. Natasha then sidled up to her, standing at her side as she looked down at the grave before them.
"I know... I don't know how it ended up having 'daughter' and 'sister' written on it... Unless one of those Avengers considers you a daughter and another considers you a sister. The daughter one concerns me a little. Must have been that Captain America. He was probably ancient enough to be your dad," Yelena chuckled in spite of the tears that were threatening to come pouring even after her attempts to be humorous and to be lighthearted. Yelena wished that "sister" and "daughter" were written there because the Avengers knew about her and Natasha's first family, but she knew that it just was not the case.
Natasha turned her head over to look at Yelena, just watching her quietly and patiently. Yelena sniffed, looking over at the woman in the shape of her dog. Natasha eyed her and there was a considerable amount of concern in her gaze.
"Why didn't you tell them about me?" Yelena questioned softly in the space between them, and Natasha just watched her quietly, angling her head down for a short moment.
Yelena immediately felt remorse wash over her. Natasha had somehow come back to her, and Yelena had no idea how long she would be able to stay with her, and all Yelena was worrying about was things that really did not even matter at the moment.
"I'm sorry... Never mind. I know you can't explain, and I know that you had your reasons... Just... Just don't leave me yet," Yelena told her, and Natasha looked back up at her, her eyes utterly pained. Yelena leaned forward, running her fingers through the thick fur surrounding Natasha's face.
"Please don't go. I've missed you so much... And it's been so hard without you," Yelena explained, feeling all the emotions stewing, bubbling, and stabbing her insides starting to come to the surface.
"I feel like I haven't been able to hold myself together for weeks. They say widows are made of marble, but I honestly feel more like a little dirt clump," Yelena expressed, laughing wetly as tears started to stream down her cheeks. She wiped at them with her sleeve, and Natasha whined a little, moving her nose forward to touch Yelena's cheek softly and lick her gently.
"You'd probably laugh at me if you could talk," Yelena pointed out, and Natasha huffed softly in that movement almost similar to a bark. Yelena could not help but wonder if it was some way that Natasha was trying to communicate in this form. Fanny herself had never really made that noise before. Usually, Fanny just barked or did not make any noise at all.
"It's been so hard... I love you so much, and I can't do this without you... I feel so, so empty," Yelena admitted, her voice cracking, and Natasha just stopped to watch her. Yelena kept her fingers buried in the fur surrounding Natasha in the form of Fanny.
"Stay, please. Stay with me, Natashka. I need you," Yelena confessed painedly. Natasha just eyed her sadly, and something in Yelena knew that Natasha did not have a whole lot of time left to spend there with her. Yelena felt tears running down her cheeks despite her best efforts to hold them back, and she swallowed hard.
However, to her pure shock, Natasha suddenly moved her head forward, angling her snout downward as she pressed the top of her head against Yelena's forehead. Yelena hiccupped suddenly, her fingers tightening against Natasha's fur.
Something in her knew that this would be the only time Natasha would be able to visit her like this, and that thought made her actually officially sob. Natasha remained still there with her, her snout angling up a little to bump her nose into Yelena's chin softly. Yelena held onto her, closing her eyes tightly.
She knew that she was holding Natasha in the form of Fanny, but it almost felt like there was actual skin touching her forehead. She closed her eyes more tightly and tried to pretend that she was actually holding onto the human form of Natasha despite knowing better.
"Please don't leave me. I love you more than anyone or anything in the world," Yelena admitted, her voice breaking. Natasha whined deeply and brokenly again, her tongue darting out softly to lick Yelena's chin.
Yelena shook her head, just holding onto her tightly as she tried to just lose herself in the moment. She did not have much time with Natasha and she was going to keep a tight hold on her while she could. It was almost as if she could feel her slipping away with each passing moment, the human soul within the dog's form slowly replacing itself with that of the dog that was there a little while ago.
"I love you... Don't go," Yelena whispered desperately, and Natasha whimpered softly. Yelena moved her head over so that she was pressing her face into Natasha's neck. Natasha moved her head so that it was around Yelena's neck and resting on her opposite shoulder.
Yelena ran her fingers through her fur, trying to somehow coax her beautiful sprit back to stay permanently.
However, when she felt a nose snuffling goofily at her neck and large lapping licks against her, she knew Natasha was lost and Fanny had returned to her.
Yelena offered her one last squeeze before pulling back from her gently. Fanny looked at her happily, panting as she moved her face forward to lick at Yelena's cheeks joyfully. Yelena felt more tears spilling down her face, and she kept her arm around Fanny as she looked down at the grave before her.
She read the name on the headstone quietly, Fanny sniffing at her neck as she acted like her usual silly self. Yelena squeezed Fanny softly before forcing herself to get up from where she had remained collapsed on her knees. She felt a little unstable, and Fanny remained close at her side as she started to head back to her truck.
"C'mon, Fanny..."