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Recklessness isn't quite up my alley. That doesn't mean I never have been, I'm human. We all do irresponsible things from time to time. But I have never done anything as reckless as I am now. That's the thrill about it, though. The knowledge that I'm doing something I shouldn't, just because I can, pumps pure adrenaline through my veins. It's all worth the risk, though, just to see that devilish grin spread on Delilah's face, how she thirsts for an adventure more than anything.
"So," Delilah starts as I drive down the interstate. "Where are we going?"
I shrug. "You'll see."
"I can't even get a little tiny hint, Tristan?" I see her pout out of the corner of my eye.
"Nope. Sorry, cara mia, but this one's going to have to be a surprise." I respond.
"Did you...did you just say 'my dear'?" Delilah murmurs.
I furrow my brow, frowning slightly. "Did I?"
"You most certainly did. You called me 'cara mia'."
"Fuck. Sorry," I sputter out. "I'm sorry, I didn't even realize I had done that."
"I never said that it bothered me, Tristan." She chirps, her hand resting atop of mine on the gear shift.
I look down at our hands briefly, then return my gaze to the road. Even if I'm not looking at her, I know she's smiling. I am too. "I guess I'll keep saying it in that case."
"I...I think I'd like that."
After a few miles of bland interstate, the scenery shifts into the sprawling cityscape. As we enter the city, the skyscrapers that were once just dots on the horizon become intricately designed buildings, with people buzzing inside as they go about their day. Apartments, office buildings, shops, and more. You name it, it's there. Most of the buildings look nearly identical, but they're still beautiful as a whole. Deep in the heart of the city resides Sun Valley Plaza, a massive park in the center of the city's busiest district. Four blocks to the west is our old school, Sun Valley Preparatory School. I remember Delilah being over the moon when we got in. Her spot was secured, Michael had paid for both her and Alexander to attend. My future was much more uncertain. I wasn't rich growing up, so it was a miracle when I got accepted through a full ride scholarship.
"Are we going to the park?" Delilah asks.
"Yes, but I need to make a stop first. Just to pick up a few things, nothing major."
I turn onto an adjoining street, and then into the parking lot of Julia's. Delilah gasps and eagerly exits the car as soon as it's been parked. She runs to the door, motioning for me to move faster. Her happiness is infectious, and it's got me smiling like a teenager again. Once I've reached her side, she clasps my large hands between her two smaller ones.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you, Tristan!" she exclaims.
I can't help but laugh at her hyperactivity. "Alright, alright. Let's go get some pastries. By the time we get out of here, they should be playing movies at the park."
After turning onto an adjoining street, and another turn into a parking lot, we arrive at our destination. In front of us is a small building, decorated to look like a welcoming cottage with smoke puffing out of its chimney every few seconds, although I'm quite sure it's just water vapor. I could be wrong, though. Delilah's eyes widen then she claps excitedly, a mixture of hunger and elation captivating her features. Joy radiates off of her, infecting me and a spile spreads on my face as a result. She turns to me, clasping my large hand between hers.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you, Tristan!" She exclaims before leaning forward and kissing me on the cheek.
I chuckle. "Alright, alright. Let's go get some pastries. By the time we get out, they should be playing movies at the park."
We get out of the car and walk to the bakery's entrance. Well, I'm walking. Delilah is practically bouncing. Or floating. It's an odd combination of the two. She stops at the door, her hands resting on the golden handles of the double doors. She looks from her hands, then up to me, the sadness making an unexpected return.
"What is it?" I ask.
She doesn't answer for a moment, but when she does, her voice is strained and it sounds like she's holding back sobs. "I haven't been here in two years...the last time we were here was.."
She trails off and I pick up where she left off. "My birthday."
Delilah nods before dropping her head in shame, only daring to look at me from under her lashes. "I thought about coming back, but it hurt too much. It wouldn't have been the same without you."
An apology rests on my tongue, waiting for the moment I choose to voice it, but I can't. I could apologize for what happened, try to atone for the sins of my past for the next thirty years, but nothing could possibly make up for what I'd done. Sam abandoned Delilah, destroyed Delilah, and I sat back and allowed it to happen. The excuse was that I gave her the space she required to heal, that she would bounce back in due time. But she didn't. She hasn't. At least not fully. The guilt housed in my being threatens to rip me to shreds every time I see that cruel, ugly despair take over.
"Well, I suppose it's a good thing that I have no intention of leaving anytime soon." I settle on those words, plastering on the most reassuring smile possible.
Light returns to her face and she straightens, flinging the doors open with little to no hesitation. Delilah grasps my hand, intertwining my fingers with hers, as she enters the bakery. The smell of fresh-baked pastries and an assortment of other baked goods flood my senses, invoking the feeling of a warm, familiar embrace. I'd like to think that's what it feels like to be hugged by a loving mother. As the bell above the door rings, Julia swishes into the room, still looking radiant as ever. She's got to be in her mid to late fifties, with dull, black hair that's gone gray at the roots, cut into a shoulder length bob. It stands in stark contrast to her stark white skin. Upon spotting Delilah, her smile grows ten times, as if her estranged child had just re-entered her life after decades of separation.
"Well, look what the cat dragged in!" she chirps in her thick Tennessee accent. "If it isn't Miss Sun Valley herself! Delilah!"
Delilah smiles, pink creeping into her cheeks. "I've missed you, Julia!"
"Not as much as I've missed you, sugar cube." Julia's gaze travels from Delilah to me. "Tristan, don't just stand by the door like a stranger! Bring your butt over here!"
I grin and make my way over to where Delilah stands in front of the counter. Julia leans over it and gently swats me on the head with a roll of wax paper. "All this time has passed and you just decided to bring her to see me? God, I can barely remember when the last time I saw her smiling face was."
"I'm sorry, Julia." I smile at her. "We've both been...busy." It's the only excuse that I could come up with to avoid the bitter truth that would have undoubtedly resulted in the look of unbearable sadness that captivates Delilah from time to time.
"Oh it's alright, I'm just pullin' your leg! Now what can I get you two kids?"
"Two strawberry pastries!" Delilah immediately exclaims. She's practically bouncing from foot to foot.
Julia tosses her head back, howling with laughter. "Oh, Delilah! You haven't changed a bit, and I love it! Lucky for the two of you, somethin' told me to make a batch and they're fresh out of the oven."
Julia pulls on a clean pair of gloves before she retreats into the kitchen, returning a few moments later with a white box in her hands. It's got a clear lid, revealing four pastries instead of the two that had been requested. She notices as I furrow my brow and grins like she'd just won the lottery.
"The extras are on the house, for the pleasant reunion," she says as she rings us up.
"You don't have to do that, Julia." Delilah starts, getting ready to fish her card from her pocket.
Julia holds up her hands, her face as serious as a heart attack. "I insist! I'll be takin' no arguments from either of you!"
Delilah and I look at each other, then back to Julia. It's rare she's ever stern with either of us, which means it is in our best interest not to refute her decision. I'm not sure I want to find out what'll happen if we try to argue again. To make sure the box stays closed, Julia ties a bright red ribbon around it, as though it's a Christmas gift. She gently places it in one of the bakery's signature backs, a cream colored tote bag with wildflowers printed on the front, and holds it out to me. "I hope that I'll see you two again real soon!"
I take the bag and we say our goodbyes. It's been far too long since we visited her...I hope it isn't the last. Once we're back in the car, Delilah turns to me, leaning over the center console. Her lips make contact with my cheek, and before I can react, she's pulled away. "Thank you for this, Tristan. I missed Julia."
"You're thanking me like this is the only thing we're doing tonight. We've got one more stop, I think you'll like this one just as much as seeing Julia."
I pull out of the parking lot, noticing that the sun has begun to sink under the horizon. The sky is a mixed bag of colors: purple, orange, yellow, red. The sun is only visible on account of the rays that bend around the skyscrapers that decorate Sun Valley. In less than 5 minutes, we reach our destination: Sun Valley Plaza. I leave the car in the parking lane near the entrance. Delilah is out within seconds of the car coming to a halt. She sprints over to my side and grabs me by the hand, practically dragging me onto the street with her. She's got the bag of pastries in her other hand, holding it tightly as she pulls me between the other cars to the plaza's entrance, a golden archway with its name engraved into it.
Sun Valley Plaza is a fairly large park, divided up into four equal parts with various sub sectors and a fifth, larger area in the center where they host weekly events. There, in the heart of the park, is a massive white screen with several pop up stands nearby dedicated to different snacks. We pass the playground, occupied by screaming adolescents without a care in the world. Childhood feels like a distant memory now, one that I struggle to believe truly happened.
We pass under an archway created by two trees whose branches had intertwined together. Delilah reaches up, running her hands over the dry bark, before pulling it down and staring at it for a brief moment. Whatever triggered it passes, and she looks up at me, smiling softly. I return it with my own large grin.
Trees surround the heart of the park, creating a canopy with their leaves and branches. Lanterns and fairy lights are strung up in the trees, illuminating the area so that even in the dark, everything would still be visible. There are four openings in the trees, each of them going to the different sectors of the park. As we step further into the area, the lights hit Delilah, her brown hair glowing a shade of amber, the planes of her face being highlighted. My breath hitches in my throat. If someone painted her in this moment, I swear it'd be worth millions. Her deep, tan skin seems to shimmer, those brown eyes dancing with excitement, her lazy and effortless smile...it's captivating.
"They're playing grease," she says as she pulls me further into the clearing. She picks a spot in the back with a good view of the screen. We sit in the soft green grass and Delilah reaches in the tote bag, pulling out the pastry box.
"Do you remember the first time we watched Grease?" She asks.
I nod. How could I forget?
We saw it for her 16th birthday. Any other girl in her position would have wanted a massive sweet 16 party, but all she wanted to do was go up to the lake house with her friends. While the others swam in the lake outside, we sat on the floor in front of the large flat screen and watched Grease. She told me how it was her mother's favorite movie, and how she'd been 16 the first time she saw it. She said it was her way of honoring her memory, but the night quickly developed into something beyond its original intention.
Delilah had paused the movie as soon as "You're The One That I Want" ended, demanding that we play it on repeat and dance to it. I chuckled and played along, happy to do anything to make this the best birthday possible for her. The two of us ended up dancing to the song as it played on repeat for an hour and half. Each time, the gap between us grew smaller and smaller until I could feel her heartbeat against mine. She'd tilted her head up to me, standing on her tiptoes, a curious glimmer in her eyes. Then her lips met mine. We kissed. It was the first of many stolen kisses in the dead of night. I've never regretted it, but I've always wondered if she does.
"Of course I remember," I smile.
Her eyes flicker down to my lips so quickly, that I fear my eyes may have deceived me. Then her gaze is locked on mine once more. "That was the best birthday of my life."
"Was it really?"
"Yeah...it was. I'd do it all over again if I got the chance." She leans against me, cuddling into my side.
I lay my head atop hers gently, allowing myself to melt into the moment and enjoy it. Maybe...just maybe, we could return to how we once were. Before the fame, the money, and the trauma. We could just be us...just Delilah and Tristan. Is it an ignorant, wishful thought? Is it a purely selfish notion? Definitely. But it's a possibility, one among hundreds. That's enough to get me through ten lifetimes. She is enough to get me through ten lifetimes. So I hold her close, savoring this moment of tranquility.
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