Christmas holidays
"Is this better now?" I turned and showed Remus his chart and he nodded. He fixed a couple of angles that were not fully correct then continued with his OWL preparation. I saw Lily, James and Sirius approach the library and our table. I saw Sirius hesitate as James held onto him but he pushed away and left the library. I ignored him. I still felt bad for him, especially after he caught Regulus waiting for me and he did not know the context behind that, Lily probably told him out of sympathy but I still could not get over the no hands rule he put on me.
I heard James sigh, then he moved forward to sit right next to me as Remus got up to pick some books.
"Lizzy," he whispered. I ignored him. I saw right through him. I could tell straight away. Sirius asked him to find out. If not, Then James was only trying to find out to fulfil his curiosity. "No '' I snapped and grabbed my stuff. "Bye Remus" I turned to him as he stood with three books in his hand. I walked straight out of the library towards my next class. Potions.
I took a seat next to Taylor but then remembered the seats being reassigned so I had to get up and move next to Regulus. He cleared his throat and I saw him move his seat away from me as I took out my quill and some parchment. He was about to say something but he stopped as Professor Slughorn walked in and greeted the class, continuing on with our assignment.
I reached to take out my potions textbook when Regulus took out his notes, and pointed towards the potion. "This is the one you're going to be writing about '' he instructed, clearing his throat because it came out muffled the first time.
I looked at the potion. Burn-healing paste.
"Burn healing paste?" I stuttered, "really Regulus?" He shrugged his shoulders and started brewing his potion.
"Which one are you doing?"
"Felix felicis"
"So you get to do the hard potion and you give me one of the easiest ones to do?"
He nodded his head, "I am only giving you what you can handle."
I looked at him. I saw how he carefully measured each and every ingredient. His piercing grey eyes and dark contemplative brows that frowned as he focused on brewing his potion. His jaw was sharp and his cheekbones higher. His dark hair was how it always was, arranged in neat curls that were grown out messy but perfect. Put it together. He looked so well and put it together. You could easily recognise him. Regulus Black.
"If you want to kiss me again all you have to do is ask?" Regulus teased me and I snapped back in reality.
"I'd rather have sex with the Marquis de Sade," I blurted "and yes, I know he's dead."
Silence followed the both of us as the rest of the class seemed heated in conversation as they continued with their assignments.
"You need a reality check Elizabeth."
"You think being a Black makes you better than everyone, having nothing to lose but one day it will come to you Regulus" I said, "and when you come crying to me or Sirius because your so called friends are no longer busy with you."
"Shut up Elizabeth" he pursed his lips, "you have no idea what goes on in my life."
"And you have no idea what goes on in mine." I seethed. "Merlin, I am so sick and tired of everyone making decisions for me. You want to brew Felix felicis. FINE. I will brew a potion better than yours and you will see why I am at the top of this class."
He placed his ingredients on the table and sighed. He mumbled a few phrases that I could not fully understand, mainly because he was mumbling so I could not hear him.
He walked over to me and placed his hand out, "truce" he looked at me. "We'll pick each other's potions to make it fair."
I hesitated. I thought about it for a while.
"Take your time Elizabeth, I have all the time in the world" he gritted his teeth.
"Fine" I shook his hand, "we'll meet at the library. After dinner from the Great Hall."
He nodded his head.
***
I sat in the library. I ensured to find a table in an area that nobody could recognise me. If lily, or Remus walked in, they could not see me. I knew James and Sirius would not be there because they had quidditch practice. That was two hours ago. I sighed and took out my potion book. If he did not want to take it seriously, then I guessed it was up to me.
I flipped through the pages trying to find a potion I could write an essay on. Then he walked in with his group, Rosier, Avery, and Crouch.
He mumbled something to them and they laughed, then he walked up in my direction. I looked down and pretended to be deep in focus. He walked towards the bookshelf next to my table when he saw me and his face fell. "You still waited?" He asked surprised.
I did not know what to reply to you to be fair. I just nodded. "I do not go back on promises once I make them Regulus." And I saw his face scowl. More than usual.
He placed his back against the bookshelves, then placed his bag on the seat opposite me. He opened his textbook and read the pages as I made notes on mine, at least I pretended to. In reality, I remember I was looking for a potion for you that you would've hated with a great fiery passion.
"Do you believe in love, Regulus?"
I watched his body stiffen as his jaw clenched and he responded with a blatant, "no." Then lifted his head up.
"The idea of true love. No matter the time, you will always find your way back to them."
He lifted his head up, "No," he paused, "I don't believe in the always."
"Just like I don't believe in never" I replied and showed him the potion I had selected for him.
"Sometimes opposites attract" he teased without a hint of emotion on his face.
"Never" I snapped.
"Always" he smirked and pointed towards the potion he wanted me to make.
I shut my book and got up, "Well Regulus one day, when you least expect it, you are going to crash into someone who is going to be so soft and gentle with your heart, and you are going to be so glad you kept it open. You are going to be so glad that you continued to fight for it - that you chose to believe it deserved more. Even though you try to show the world you don't have a heart." I grabbed the last of my items and walked out the library and I will never forget the look on your face.
***
Next week
We were in the potions class in one of our study periods in order to prepare for our assignments. Yet another moment I'd never forget.
We had been studying for this assignment for over 3 weeks now, the Christmas holidays were nearing too but I chose to stay at Hogwarts. I didn't tell you this because you never asked.
Regulus finished brewing his potion and turned to write about it on his table. Problem was this potion was so strong I could smell it despite the fact that I sat on the opposite side of the room. Sirius. That is who I smelled. I was not surprised.
An owl flew on your desk. I remembered you opened the letter hesitantly and the instant furrow on your forehead that followed as you read through the letter. Then the pursing of the lips afterwards.
"So Elizabeth..." he spoke. "Are you going home for Christmas?"
I scanned his face. It looked as if he didn't care because he was busy with other things at the moment but really he hoped I would be there. At Christmas. With my family. So that we could have a slight chance of spending Christmas together. "Sirius will be returning too," he added.
"If by home you mean where my parents live then no" I said in one go then I paused, "that place was no longer my home the second the hat placed me in Gryffindor" I sighed. "Blood traitor remember" I teased and pointed at myself and shrugged.
"Right" he mumbled then used his wand to tidy up his works.
The room filled up with silence once again. This lasted for another 30 minutes.
"What's your favourite colour?"
He thought for a second.
"Don't have one".
You laughed. "Of course you do, everyone has a favourite colour".
He shook his head. "Not me"
We both looked over the window, none of us knew exactly what to say to the other. He was about to leave but then he turned.
"What's yours then?" He turned to me, hoping I would
look at him.
I smiled. "Green"
He smirked. I knew what he was thinking. Green. The colour of that very house that led to my exile.
"But not that kind of green" I replied instantly, "more of a light green. Sage green"
He shrugged but I noticed the smile on his face, "So out of all the colours you don't have one that just stands out from the rest?" I asked again, mainly to break the silence.
He shook his head. again.
"No." He was a man of very few words and emotions.
I sighed. I guess you could not get through to him, everyone was right.
He would not open up, not to you, not to anyone.
Just as I was about to leave he spoke again. "Green" He said with a slight smirk on his face.
I turned around and a small smile formed on my face. "But that's my favourite colour that I just told you".
Then his facial expressions mirror mine.
He smiled.
"Exactly" he said and walked out of the door.