Onika Tanya Maraj
Last day.
Onika woke up—slowly but surely. Fluttering her eyes open as she heard the birds that frequented this area sing.
She felt an arm wrapped around her waist and she turned her head to look at a peacefully sleeping Beyoncé.
Her curly hair was all over the place but Onika didn't care, she looked over to her clock. It was 1pm.
"I slept that late?" She mumbled. She knew her father was already outside doing his usual routine.
Apparently though, she was moving too much for Beyonces liking. Because her arm tightened even more around Onikas waist.
Onika blushed slightly when Beyoncé pulled her closer, but the blonde was still asleep. Onika managed to carefully slip out of Beyoncés grasp.
When she was fully up, she looked back at Beyonce who suddenly looked uncomfortable at Onika's disappearance but turned over in her sleep.
She snuck out the room and closed the door, and searched for her father. She searched down stairs, and she wasn't surprised when she didn't see him. She instead peeked outside to see him meditating like usual.
She slid open the screen door and stepped out, descending down the porch stairs and making her slow journey over to her father.
She felt the sand come in contact with her feet, and the sun was shining as usual. She smiled, taking it all in. She was so—at peace. She wasn't stressed out, she wasn't tired of anything she felt so content. She took a seat right next to her father.
Onika looked out at the sea—she knew it wasn't her last time doing so. But—she felt the end of her journey was now here.
But she knew deep down she had a long way to go.
She looked over to her father—that had his eyes closed—taking deep breathes. He didn't seem phased, and Onika felt like something was eating at her.
She had to get something out.
Because today was the day she was leaving, after a full month.
She nervously played with her hands, looking down at her bare thighs. She sighed.
"Thank you." She said outloud, Robert just smiled. "For what?" He asked opening one of his eyes. Onika rolled her eyes playfully, she knew he'd make her say why.
"For..being here. I was really struggling dad. And I don't ever want to go down that road again. You helped me realize so many things and..and I just can't thank you enough."Onika let out.
Onika was in dire need, she didn't realize how much this bootcamp could change way she not only views herself—but change her as a whole.
She knows the rape wasn't her fault—she knows Lauren is a bad friend—not only that but a terrible person. She knows that addiction is real—and that it ran in her family which explains why it didn't take much for her to give in to it.
She looked over to her father, the man that helped her through it all.
But has also been through it all.
"You're welcome Onika. There's no need to thank me though—" He was cut off by the feeling of Onika embracing him.
The hug was warm—solid—and it made Robert tear up as he hugged his daughter back.
Their relationship had been rough, real rough. Robert used to be an addict, that greatly affected Onikas childhood—and he never expected Onika to forgive him or tolerate him again. He never expected her to hug him again.
But here she was—clinging onto him—and he couldn't help but a tear slip.
"You weren't the perfect father—or even close to it. But now that I know what you were struggling with—I get it. I really get it dad and—I-I forgive you." Onika said softly and Robert smiled into her shoulder as he shook.
"T-Thank you." He let out quickly and quietly and this was one of the rare times, Onikas father was crying.
"I'm going to miss you." Onika mumbled pulling away. "I'll try to visit atleast once a week—" Robert shook his head—"You really don't have to Onika." He stated and she refused—shaking her head.
"But i'm going to. I—I want to get closer to you again. I have some of my own shit to figure out but—I'll keep you updated for sure." Onika said confidently looking at her father.
Her dark eyes mirrored his. A soft smile appeared on her face. "I love you dad." She said and he smiled as well.
He knew Onika had come a far way, dealing with so much—and he was so proud to not only see her realize her issues but knowing that he's helped her with something he knew could have seriously damaged her if she continued.
"I love you too Wheezy." He stated and she couldn't help but finally laugh at the nickname, "I take it back now—I hate you." She said and he shook her off.
The two went silent, only for a few seconds before robert spoke up.
"Is your girlfriend in there packing up yalls clothes?" He asked with a grin and Onika didn't even register what he referred to Beyoncé as for a few seconds.
"She was asleep when I came out here—wait—" She turned realizing what he had said and he snickered as she threw sand at the side of his face. "Hold your fire—hold your fire I was joking." He exclaimed—ushering the sand away from his face.
Onika blushed profoundly, looking away. "Don't call her that." She mumbled. focusing her attention on the sand and hugging her knees to her chest.
"I apologize, but—you do like her don't you?" He asked and he saw his daughter nod subtly. He liked Beyoncé. He liked that she respected Onika, didn't judge her—and clearly made her feel safe.
That's all he's ever wanted for her.
"So what's your plan after you leave this prison?" He asked with a smile and Onika rolled her eyes before directing them up at the clouds.
"I'm going to—try and start therapy. I was..thinking of maybe going back to school. I only dropped out because of something that...wasn't my fault." Onika mumbled and Robert nodded.
"I like that you have future goals for yourself. I also like how far you've come." He said and Onika turned to him once again.
"I'm proud of you." He stated and Onika felt tears well up in her eyes and she was right back to hugging him. She hugged him tight, A part of her never wanted to let him go.
"I love you so much." He said and Onika let out a shaky sigh.
Why did this feel like goodbye?
Not a see you later, but—a farewell.
Robert let a tear shed.
They pulled back, looking at each other before hearing a car honk. Onika turned to see Beyoncé packing their belongings in what she recognized as Ming's truck.
She saw Beyoncé waving and Onika looked back at her father. "I'll see you later?" She said—a "bye" didn't feel right. He just nodded wiping his own loose tears. "I'll see you—later." He said and she stood up.
She walked towards beyoncé and gave her a tight hug. "You ready?" She asked into Onikas ear and the dark haired girl nodded. "Y-Yeah I—I think I am." Onika said and Beyoncé held her hand tight.
She led Beyoncé into Mings car, and Onika leaned up out of her seat to kiss Ming's cheek. They greeted each other before Onika let herself take a deepbreath and fall backwards. Looking out the window as they began to drive off.
The ride was mostly silent besides the soft music playing in the background. Onika looked out the window most of the time, relishing in what she's been through these past few weeks. And the changes she's made..
And the changes she's going to have to stick with.
She felt Beyoncés hand intertwine with hers, and soon enough Onikas head was laying on Beyoncé's shoulder.
"You okay?" Beyoncé whispered and Onika nodded. "More than okay." She said looking up at the blonde and Beyoncé grinned seeing those dark eyes look up at her.
Onika looked back out the window. She began seeing places she found familar, they were near home. Onika was almost home.
But as she sat in that car—she felt as if she was right next to someone who could contribute to her "home".
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When Onika did get home, she began to unpack and Beyoncé hung up the Polaroid pictures she had taken in Onikas room.
"Perfect." She admired, looking at the one where Onika clearly wasn't even looking. At of pure curiosity the dark curly haired girl turned to look at what Beyoncé could be talking about and she groaned.
"Are you seriously hanging up bad photos of me and my own room?" She asked and Beyoncé shook her head, "No picture of you is bad. Just funny. Look at this one—you were pouting." Beyoncé teased and Onika ignored her as she unpacked more of her clothes.
Beyoncé fell back on one of Onikas bean bag chairs and she looked up to Onika who took a seat on her own bed.
The two made eye contact and couldn't help but smile looking at each other.
"So..what do you wanna do now that you're home? Like home home?" Beyoncé asked and Onika had to think.
"I think..I want to relax. Maybe take a nap? I'm not sure. I don't have much energy." Onika mumbled and Beyoncé nodded. "You want some time alone?" The blonde asked and Onika looked up at her.
There was no judgement in her face, just a soft smile with slight concern.
"Y-Yeah." Onika whispered and Beyoncé understood, she leaned in to kiss Onikas cheek. "I'll give you that time then. Call me when you need me." Beyoncé said and Onika nodded, she was almost in a trance at the feeling of Beyonces lips on her skin.
She watched Beyoncé exit her room, closing the door on her way out and Onika let her back hit her bed. She hadn't been in it in so long, and she did miss the familiarity.
Even though she did infact say she wanted to relax—she couldn't help but hug her pillow and ignore the heat in her face remembering the fact that Beyoncé kissed her cheek—held her hand—and kissed her on the lips.
She didn't know what this meant—and she didn't want to overthink. But she couldn't help herself as she turned on her side. She felt like a teenager again—getting all giddy over someone.
Beyoncé showed no judgement only concern throughout her time with Onika—which wasn't what the girl was expecting. She was expecting a disgusted expression—maybe one of discomfort—she was so scared Beyoncé would leave her—just like every other person did when they found out what she'd been through.
Thinking about it more and more Onika sighed and loosened the grip on her pillow:
She knew if she really wanted to change, permanently—and better herself to the most of her ability—she had someone to take care of.
More like—break a piece of herself off of.
She eyed her phone, taking a deep breath. She picked it up slowly and found her way to the contact—that she stared at for maybe a solid minute. Mixed emotions over cane her.
She texted her—after so long.
She bit her lip and looked down at herself.
"I'm really doing this.." Onika mumbled.
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Onika Tanya Maraj
Onika took a walk, it was dark—she saw Beyonces light on and she took note of that as she walked past her house. Onika got nostalgia as she made her way to the park.
She's walking by herself a thousand times, some to good destinations and some she wished she never even took the effort to get to.
She was nervous, so nervous. She felt herself shaking.
She continued walking though, with her head held high as she entered the park. Looked ahead at the figure she's sure is the girl she came here for. Onikas voice got caught in her throat as she stepped on a leaf—that made a loud crunch sound.
Lauren swung her head in pure surprise and her eyes widened seeing Onika.
The two didn't speak for a moment, Onika—out of nervousness and Lauren—out of pure shock.
"I—haven't seen you in like—a month. Where the hell have you been?" Lauren asked and Onika sighed stepping closer. "And why are we meeting here? Why not at my apartment or something?" She questioned and Onika finally made eye contact with her.
"If we met at your apartment—something wouldve went down that I'm not sure if I would have had the strength to stop." Onika said truthfully. Onika was sober; but she hadn't been around an addictive drug in such a long time and she knew Lauren's apartment was riddled with them. She also didn't want to be cornered again.
"Stay away from enablers." Her fathers voice rang through her head.
Onika looked at Lauren—a girl she once called her bestfriend . When they were two innocent kids who didn't understand and couldn't even begin to comprehend what they would have turned out to be.
She felt a feeling of empathy looking at her—Onikas knows what she's been through. She knows why she turned to drugs.
But that was covered with a blanket of anger. Because Lauren took advantage of her when she was vulnerable—and she stopped being a good friend—along with innocent a really long time ago.
"You gonna stare at me or answer my questions? And what did you even mean just now?"She asked chuckling and Onika took a deep breath yet again.
"I mean—you're not good for me." Onika said barely above a whisper. Lauren looked at her confusion. "What the hell are you talking about?" She asked.
"You—Lauren. I'm talking about you." Onika explained. "You aren't good for me—nor are you good for anyone. You're a terrible—person Lauren. A terrible person." Onika stated, her voice not wavering one bit.
Lauren stepped back in pure surprise and looked Onika up and down—because the girl she was looking at now was not the girl she saw last month.
"Onika I don't know what the fuck—"
"Shut up. You know what I'm talking about. You do drugs—and instead of trying to get help and even encourage me to get help you chose to try and drag me down with you." Onika said with her arms crossed, disdain leaking from her voice.
"You're the one who took the fucking drugs Onika don't try to blame me. What? Is it my fault your daddy was a crack addict too now? You mad at me because you turned out like him?"Lauren asked immediately getting defensive and Onika felt a pang of hurt.
She refused for her to see her cry.
"It's not your fault my father was an addict—and I did turn out like him. Because you know what? Atleast he got help—and he didn't throw himself a pity party when someone confronted him! Own up to your shit Lauren." Onika gritted out.
She couldn't even feel an ounce of remorse anymore, and she's quickly realizing she shouldn't had. Because Lauren isn't the innocent little kid she met one day—she undoubtedly turned into one of the people Onika wishes she'd never met.
"You can't be serious. You called me out here—after a month of ghosting me—to just yell at me? The fuck is wrong with you?" She asked looking Onika up and down.
"I wasn't ghosting you! I was in rehab. Getting help from the man you just called a crack addict."
"Oh please, Im so sorry for insulting your druggie of a father. You're shaming me—for what? Who the hell up you up to this? That dumbass blonde you've been hanging around? You still sniff in private around her?"Lauren asked chuckling again and Onika felt her anger spoke.
"I'm a month clean Lauren." Onika stated proudly and she saw the genuine look of surprise at Oniaks statement.
Onika got brave enough to step closer to her, and suddenly Lauren didn't seem that intimidating.
"Keep that dumbfounded ass look on your face. Because it's one of the most entertaining things I've seen in awhile." Onika stated getting closer.
"Beyoncé, which is her actual name and I suggest you learn it though I'm sure you can't learn anything other than being bitchy and filling your nose up every other fucking day." Onika said now fully in Lauren's face.
"And I'll tell you this—as many times as I need to.." Onika trailed off before sighing deeply and letting her anger subside.
"I wish I never met you. You know why? Because you're a lot of things Lauren. You're a drug addict, enabler, rapist, narcissist—I could go on for hours and the phrase "good friend" will not pop up once." Onika stated and she could tell Lauren wanted to yell at her—but when her mouth opened no words came out.
Onika couldn't help but feel so anger—full with pure anguish as she came to realize more and more how terrible it was having Lauren around.
"You were a terrible friend to me. You took advantage of me when I was at my lowest, and I was stupid enough to think you of all people was trying to help me!" She exclaimed. She felt like all things she's wanted to say—are now finally being let out.
"Onika—I—"
"I don't want to hear whatever the fuck you're about to say. I regret letting you touch me when I was at my lowest—I regret getting high enough to where I couldn't even consent to you doing that—I regret taking anything you ever "gifted" me." Onika ranted.
She looked back into lauren's eyes—she couldn't read her expression. But she didn't care. Not anymore.
"Know what I regret the most?" Onika asked.
"Meeting you." Onika spat before walking away. "Don't call me—don't come near me anymore. And clean yourself up so you atleast look presentable to society again." Onika said loud enough for Lauren to hear as she walked away.
She didn't hear any foot steps behind her, any calls, any insults—it was silence.
And Onika walked away with a smile on her face and true weight lifted off her shoulders.
She felt like a part of her healing process had been fulfilled but she knows she has a long way to go.
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