The blazing sun beat down on me as I stood tall, facing forwards as I looked around the open plain in which easily dozens of young adults stood with their chests puffed, arms behind their backs and facing forward. We were lined up with at least 1 or 2 feet of distance between each other as we faced forwards towards a set of barracks, that hosted a few senior officers and trainers. They stood at the front, sweeping their gazes over the new cadets that stood before them, searching for any early signs of weakness.
We stood in the clearing of what I would describe to be a quarry, a section of land that had been dug into, mostly to harvest rock to create bricks and other stonework for homes. Miniature cliffs surrounded us, with a sloping path upwards to our left being the only visible, and safe, exit. A watch tower also stood next to the path, which 1 guard currently occupied.
I was placed near the front row, a young woman on my left and a young man on my right, though I paid them little mind. I watched as a man made his way up the steps to the barracks deck, his head held high and forward, his strides loud and confident. He had an air of authority that reminded me of Magath in Marley, though a lot less hostility in his movements. He reached the top, made his way to the middle of the deck before turning to face us, his sunken eyes sending waves of power and control through the lines of cadets, resulting in some sounds of shuffling.
I almost had to supress a smile. You must understand the mental fortitude and attitude it takes to project such a feeling into a crowd, for them to mentally and physical feel and hear you. Its something no man is born with.
It is moulded from the very fabric of his reality, and the broken pieces of his mind
"Straighten those spines pissheads. The 104th cadet crop boot camp starts now!" He bellowed, stepping forward to address us.
"Allow me to introduce myself, I a commander Keith Shadis, and you will grow to hate me. This training is going to be a white knuckled ride through hell, and if I have done my job, you'll all be waking up in a cold sweat with memories of this place every night for the rest of your miserable lives!"
"Right now, your nothing, livestock. But over the next 3 soul crushing years, you'll learn to take down your own goliath. Remember this moment when you come face to face with him, because that is where you ask yourself...am I a fighter, or am I feed!? Am I going to be ground up to pulpy human slop between boulder sized incisors or am I going to be the one to bite!? He bellowed, spreading this question into the minds of his cadets. Will they be livestock who will forever be at the mercy of these beasts, or will they become the predators.
It was here that I did indeed break into a small grin. He knew exactly what to say, exactly what to ask. He was giving his cadets the reality of the situation, letting them realise themselves what they are going into and that if they are going to back down, today was the time to do it.
I hushed myself slightly, getting rid of the smile as Shadis began making rounds on the many rows of cadets, occasionally stopping to question or yell at cadets in the face, introducing them to the treatment of boot camp early. It also served as a wakeup call.
He had begun yelling at a young man before me, named Armin, when I zoned back into what was happening. I had a bad habit of retreating into my own mind sometimes, thinking or just letting myself switch off.
Shadis then placed his hand firmly on Armin's head, before turning his whole body to face me. I saw the look in his eyes, he was not used to this. He had an innocent, yet thoughtful look in his eyes. Armin stood at about 5'3/5'4 and had a blonde bowl cut. He looked young, maybe a few years younger than me. He had a slim, almost feminine build and bright blue eyes.
He happened to glance at me, and I gave a small, relaxed smile of reassurance in return. He returned a small one, though it quickly turned to horror as he noticed Shadis striding towards us. He stopped before me, looking me up and down for a moment, before belting in my face.
"What do they call you maggot!?" he yelled. I did not flinch and continued to stare straight ahead, before answering.
"Y/n Tyber, sir, from Ackerland sir" I replied in an even, but firm tone. I stood strong, keeping my back straight and bringing my right hand curled into a fist covering my heart, while my left arm remained behind my back, their form of a salute.
"Ackerland huh, not familiar. Why are you here Tyber!?" Shadis replied, taking one step closer, his unblinking eyes staring straight into mine.
"It is a small farming village sir, southeast of Wall Maria. And I am here to slaughter the beasts that lay beyond these walls...and return humanity's freedom" I replied, looking Shadis in the eyes. I gave up noting, no ground, I did not back down from him. He stared me in the eyes for a few moments before, turning to his right and continuing. But not before he let out a retort.
"Well then country boy, lets see how long you last!" he said, before beginning to terrorise another unfortunate.
This continued for at least 20 more minutes, with one young man getting his face busted with a headbutt, another getting held up by the ears, and a young woman being told to run until the sun sets for sneaking a bite of a potato in while Shadis was passing.
3 hours later
The sun was setting, and I sat in the bunkhouse for the male recruits. I was reading a book I had picked up a while back, just a small novel I had picked up in the market back within Wall Maria. We had done plenty of moving around then, gathering intel where we could, and formulating ways we would go about future exploits within the military. I had lost track of names and places.
I looked up when I heard a door opening, seeing that it was Bertholdt and Reiner. I closed my book and gave them a smile.
"Everything alright?" I asked, sitting up from my comfortable position.
"Dinner will be served shortly, just thought we should let you know" Reiner replied, his hand resting on the frame of the door. Bertholdt stood next to him facing outside.
"Ah, thank you, I'll join you both shortly" I said, moving into a seated position on the edge of my mattress. I stretched my hands over and behind my head, hearing a series of pops and cracks, before reaching under my bunk to pull out my boots.
"Come on, I'm starving" Reiner joked, pushing off from the frame and making his way out.
"We'll save you a spot" Bertholdt said, before moving off with Reiner, closing the door behind him.
I finished putting on my boots, grabbed my light cadet corps jacket and throwing it on, while I walked towards the door.
"Ah, nearly forgot" I said, turning around and walking back, grabbing my book from the nightstand. I had it sitting open on my last page and flipped the corner of it so I could keep track.
But, while I was flipping it closed, a line caught my eye. Something I had read and glanced over maybe. I opened the page back up and read the line.
"In the end, the very fathoms of our reality are not only perceived by what we see, but buy what we feel, what we sense and how we hear. Because regardless of how it really justifies itself, no matter how it dictates itself, once we have the feeling in our bodies, in our minds, in our hearts...
We will never see it the same again"
I closed my book, placing it back onto my nightstand before turning and walking out the door, closing it behind me again. It was approaching late evening and dusk would be here soon. I leaned back against the doorway for the moment, just trying to savour what was left of the light. My hair blew in the wind, I really need to cut it. It's gotten a little long for my liking.
I looked up at the clouds that were slowly passing above head, shadows dancing on their belly's and creating the most beautiful scene I could imagine. It was like a farewell performance, from the sky to us. Something we should all cherish.
I slowly pushed off from the door, fixing myself and placing both hands in my trouser pockets, before making my way towards the dining hall. I could hear laughing, chattering and a buzz coming from within, light spewing out the window and many faces within.
'I suppose...the person I perceive to be 'me', will never be seen by others. Everyone has their own little versions of themselves, completely different to whom we ourselves see. We all fathom our own versions of 'you' in our heads, and that sticks with us for the duration of the time we know one another.
In the end, there are thousands of versions of 'me' out there. And to be honest...' I thought, as I made my way up the steps towards the door, reaching for the knob. I held it for a second, before opening it up and stepping in.
'....I suppose I never will never learn who I truly am. Because there was never a me to begin with'