This happens at the end of volume 7.5
Today was the last day of this year. Tomorrow a new year will begin. Such an occasion which comes only once a year calls for celebration. People do that by organizing small festivals and fireworks.
Hence the reason why I am spending my time roaming around the campus today. There have been various stalls for different items all around the school. Food, games, shops and sales you name it. Today was an extrovert's paradise.
A special occasion calls for different fashion than usual. Girls around are wearing yukatas and have populated the public places in the campus for today.
This alone was more than reason enough for the creatures in front of me to be high in the clouds as they let their eyes loose in this heaven.
Ike: "Beauties and cuties wherever you look. I wish everyday to be like this. Oh god! Please grant my wish."
Sudo: "Calm down kanji. Don't shout."
Ike: "Why not? There's so many people, so much noise is there my voice will be drowned no matter how loud I scream. Oh damn! Look at those tits."
Miyamoto: "Oi! Are you guys coming to the haunting house? Me and hondo are going. You guys come too."
We had just met with another group. Two people from our class. Today was rather a lively day.
Ike: "Yeah. we'll be coming. Let's go sudo"
Happiness and excitement bring pleasure to people. In face of such pleasure, people sometimes forget to care or even notice something that disrupts a small fraction of that pleasure.
In conclusion my existence has no meaning to this world and it's people today.
I did not wear any special clothes, I don't interact often with many people and combined with my personality while interacting with them it all amounts to the fact that today I shall be an invisible existence to the people around me.
But I'm not sad. I'm rather happy just to be here. To be able to see what others see and to be able to feel this happiness and excitement around me first hand teaches me more about the customs and traditions of the society I'm living in.
It is a huge pool of knowledge and I'm going to let myself drown in it today.
So lets take a walk. It is near around 200 meters and walking there in this crowd would take around 2 or 3 minutes. In this time I plan to notice the behavior, conversation, facial expressions of any and every person I can focus upon. An observation exercise if you will. For some reason, I find it incredibly fun.
I know I can't enjoy these things myself as I am right now, but I can enjoy reading these people who in turn enjoy this world for me.
I see Shiranami and Ichinose with some other girls of class B around the food corners, many of them have candy apples. Ibuki although alone can be seen enjoying her cotton candy. Ishizaki and Komiya are there buying some magazines from a shop. A manga of sorts
Kanzaki and shibata plan on competing at the gift shop. The entire place is filled with colors and voices of so many people one could see what a society gathering looks like. There are some people who are already tired of the crowds and a group of class A could be seen enjoying their Takoyaki at the back benches placed behind the shops to rest.
Ike and Sudo along side others just came out of the haunting house and it seems like they had fun. They look exhausted a bit. Girls of our class too are scattered around all shops.
Groups led by Kushida and karuizawa are making their way through. But today Yousuke isn't there. As she told me a few days ago, she already broke up with him which means there is no reason to be together now. She has been spending her time with her girl friends.
Mashima sensei and Hoshinomiya sensei are there at the wine store. Even though they are wearing disguises I cannot be fooled that easily. Behind the store giving the instructions is Chabashira sensei who if I were to use Ike's words can be distinguished solely by the presence of her chest. I doubt that.
My walk had completed. I had reached the end of store lines. I did notice a couple of stares on me by some people of out class and sensei But apart from that no one took a look at me. Although it could be said it was just a matter of chance, in both of those stares I could see a feeling that they wanted to lay eyes on me for some time and clearly have not been successful at that.
I had come here originally for a different view which I could not enjoy from here. So I put some effort in finding a good spot from where I could see the fireworks better than from here. I moved to a region in the side of the road to gain more elevation. there is an empty spot beyond the scattered trees all around where there is just grass. I would be watching the first ever fireworks show in my life from here. There were still a couple of minutes left so I could get a bit comfortable here.
After all this was going to be a notable experience in my life. Given that my father had arrived the school at might be in the process of planning my expulsion right now, I would not want to miss any once in a lifetime opportunities here.
I took a good look around and after confirming the presence of no one here, I sat on grass. I find myself incapable of lowering my guard. Whenever I sense a threat approaching or on the horizon, I move by my instinct to lay the defense properly to avoid any harm in my way.
But I often wonder what would be like to properly lower your guard if you could have no worries. Well... I cannot know it myself, so I would have to ask someone.
As of now I have to lay in wait of the show of colors in the sky above me in the front. The fireworks, an established polar opposite of my entire past for everyone to see here and now. Back in the past, the closest I have come to see colors is the skin of people, color of food and water or any colorful images or pages of the book and the internet.
Simply speaking I have read only the description of fireworks and not even a picture of it. But given that I was going to see every bit of it, I plan to burn this image and take it to my grave. My heartbeat is racing, but I am calm, I can feel the pleasure in my body but it doesn't affect my mind. It is an incredible feeling.
And then it happened. A stroke of light shooting up in the sky in a distance followed by a delayed sound and trail of sparks behind it, burst into countless streaks of the red color. It would be the first in line of the dozens that followed after it. Some straight up, some at an angle. Such variety in color, shape and sound of the fireworks. I felt it all, I absorbed it all never to forget.
It gave me goosebumps. How can something be so beautiful? It was unfair. It was addictive. I wanted to be up here all night.
Wait? Was it over? No no no. I have not had enough of it! Start it again! Such a feeling calmed down under me in a moment. But I wanted more. Please just give me some more. i waited for a few moments but it did not look like I was going to get my wish.
So I went ahead and gave myself a revisit to the past to minutes in my brain by closing my eyes and reliving it. I tried my best to maintain the same feeling that had been betting from these fireworks here. It was not the best experience but it was good.
I did it again. And again...and again. It never stopped being fun. It really was addictive. I was having the time of my life...but as fate has it in store for me usually. Fun does not last long enough
I sensed the presence of someone approaching me...around 30 meters from my back if I were to estimate. The footsteps approached and I pretended not to notice until they got very close.
I turned around to see Kei Karuizawa
"Happy new year" She said as she came closer to me.
"Ah. Happy new year."
"So...what made you come here by yourself leaving the crowd behind?"
"The view here is nice"
"I get it. Let me sit here" She said as she sat to my right
"But it is over right?"
"The fireworks? No. They still have some left. It just takes some time for preparations to be redone"
"Is that s-" I couldn't finish my sentence as I heard the sound of fireworks again as dozens of fireworks again shot up in sky as to answer my request from before.
It was another two minutes of heaven but just this time there was a Kei beside me.
"Ah. the festival is over" said Kei as she stretched her body. She was wearing a yukata with flower petals as design on it.
"How was your festival?"
"Same as always. You go around with your friends eat stuff buy stuff and play as hard as you can. Oh I am sorry...you don't have any. Forgive me for being rude"
People often take advantage of my lack of response to trash my entire existence.
"At least I am not afraid of being bullied by my friends. And on top of it...I am not so desperate to get a partner that I would beg someone just to go out with me"
But only this time...I returned the insults
"Hey! If anything it is your fault that I broke up with him" She said as she pouted
"How is it my fault? I never told you to break up with Hirata."
"And if not for you entering my life...I never would have."
"But?"
"I am glad that I did. It is good for both of us."
"Have you told the people around you?"
"No one except you."
If anything, it means more trouble for me in the future
"Why do I not feel privileged"
"You should... you get to take care of me for free. See now any guy would be drooling at the opportunity"
"Is it possible to bypass this opportunity?"
She pouted. She must have realized I was serious
"No Mister. If you try...I will purposefully create troubles for you to deal with"
So it is like child support.
"Kiyotaka"
"Hm?" her voice just now turned to serious note. I did not change my tone to pretend not to notice the change
"If I ask you something can you answer it?"
"If I can...then I will."
"What do you think puts us in class D?"
"Your defects."
"Is that the case for everyone in class."
"It can be for many. Although some weaknesses may just be regarding academics and athleticism...others like in your case must have something related to someone's past."
"So everyone has a weakness"
"Well...no one is perfect right?"
"But do they put all the students in class D because they found there weakness"
"No. They also have to make sure everyone has chance to rise up to the top. So some students might just be here to compensate and balance out the overall ability of the class."
"Is that why they put you in class D?"
"I don't know"
"So do you have a weakness because of which they put you in class D"
"What made you think so hard? Wouldn't you be hurting your knees by now?"
She made a face again.
"I have my brain inside my skull and it works just fine. Although I'd like to know how you are wired."
"Why?"
"Just give me a knife to open your brain. You know...for routine checking procedures"
There are no procedures like that
"I want to know...why do you not seek attention?"
"It is troublesome"
"But you also work hard to reach class A...but you told be you are going to step down right?"
"yes"
"Why now?"
"I had a reason to aim class A until now...but I do not have it anymore."
"Would you tell me if I asked what was that reason?"
"No"
"I-I see." her voice had cracks in it
"It is a personal reason. It doesn't matter who asks...I won't answer this question"
"But you still want to be partners with me"
"Well that is for any trouble that comes my way."
"See...from now I will be the one helping you...so I demand answers"
"Answers to what?"
"To any and every question that I have?"
"Like?"
"You are too damn strong and resilient. I saw you fight...and if I were to say my honest opinion I was scared"
"Scared to se someone get hurt?"
"Sacred of seeing you fight!"
"Why?"
"I mean when a fight happens...people let loose. But you did not...you seemed like you were doing an assignment or something. Like you were doing everything knowing it in the way"
Is doing something knowing what are you doing all along the way not normal? I had no Idea.
"That is a non sense argument"
"But it looked like that. Like you knew what would happen if you hit someone in some way. You exactly had that fight planned out in your head all along and your face..."
"My face?"
"It is always your face and those eyes...makes me feel no one can hide anything from you"
"I am not a god"
"But you feel like one"
"There is no arguing with you"
"Forget it...just answer my questions"
I nodded
"What does your family do? Which middle school you go to? have you always been like this? how do you train? Do your parents know you're like this?"
Her list did not seem to end
"Ah mou...I have a lot of these. I wanna know everything about you."
Am I packed in that much curiosity? I for one certainly doubt that.
But knowing that she would have these question forward...I decided to humor her request.
"Listen"
"yes sensei"
She sat in a posture radiating focus from her body
"I will tell you everything in my life in a single statement. It would be everything that I have done in life. If you can find the clue here...I will answer your questions in the way you want me to"
"Yes!" She pumped her fist
I wonder if it will be enough. I had no reason to lie here or hide something
"I have been curious my entire life. I like to learn things. Everyday I wake up...exercise then eat then study then play then sleep and then repeat. I have some interest in music and apart from that I also am familiar with tea ceremonies and calligraphy."
"This...doesn't sound weird"
"You want my life to be weird? What kind of a person are you?"
"Well...I expected it to be weird"
"What do you even think of me?"
"So...the clue lies here" She dodged my question
"yes it does."
"Do you studied something special?"
"Books and the internet"
"Eat special?"
"No"
"Was it your family? Teachers? friends?"
"No, no and no. You expect a family to educate you properly and same from the teachers. There is nothing there"
"But that would mean there is no clue... You saying your life is not special?"
"Why do you not believe me when I say that?"
"Then why are you like this?"
"I was born this way."
"Ah Mou! This is not what I wanted"
I don't know what exactly she was expecting from me.
"If I allow you to ask the one question you want the most what would it be?"
She thought for a minute before answering
"Your fighting and schemes aside...The thing I found attr- I mean best is that you are able to read people and you are really mature"
"You stopped for a second there...what were you going to say?"
"N-Nothing"
I feel like this is an opportunity where I can press her hard and divert from the topic but that will only lead to her asking the same questions later.
"People often speak more through their actions rather than their words. If you watch from afar...you learn what kind of people commit to what kind of acts. This will teach you a lot."
"Whoa! I never actually expected you to answer something... see this is the kind of thing I was talking about."
When you have experienced a lot and learnt a lot...this kind of thing will be driving you. You would want to put your knowledge to the test.
But time had come to part from this topic
"As I was saying-"
I sensed another person heading our way. This time it was a half drunk homeroom teacher.
"Ayanokouji and karuizawa huh? What are you doing here?"
"O-oh this. I was here with Ayanokouji-kun because he said this was a nice place to watch the fireworks"
"It is night time and the festival is over...you two should be heading to the dorms."
I gave the signal to Kei to go and she complied easily.
After she had disappeared from our eyes... Chabashira sensei turned towards me with a blank face which soon turned to a small laugh. It was as if she was thinking something while realizing it was funny.
"A certain man contacted the school a few days ago. 'Expel Ayanokouji Kiyotaka' he said. I guess it was a matter of time before my lie became the truth"
If that is what she had been thinking...I do not find it funny at all
Sensing the silence from me she continued
"Why does he want you out of school so bad?"
"He has other plans for me." This answer I believe should come to her mind as well. I don't think it is that revelatory
"Would you tell me if I asked you?"
"It would be meaningless for both you and me."
"Do you like it here in this school?"
"It certainly is interesting"
"How much do you hate leading the class?"
"I don't like to put effort where it will be useless to me"
"So you go as far ask to prepare Horikita to lead but not do it yourself"
"You are not so ignorant to your class as you seem."
"Don't divert"
I think I wont. I am in a good mood after all. So I face her
"Yes. Horikita wants to reach class A...she is individually capable but not mature enough to lead the class"
"I know what is in it for her...but how does it relate to you"
"Well if I rise up in rankings without putting effort that it would be for the best wouldn't it?"
"We both know that is a useless statement."
Looks like my obvious bluff did not work...Obviously. Hehe I failed
"I wanted to see what would happen if I corrected Horikita's defect."
At this statement of mine Chabashira pondered for a few moments.
"So is that scheme related to Horikita alone or...?"
"I don't know. Only the future will answer these questions"
"You attempt to correct the flaws of others...does that mean you have corrected yours?"
"I am learning...I am improving. I don't know what will change in the future now can I? Until then your questions will remain unanswered"
"I see. What were you talking about Karuizawa"
"I was teaching her the lesson of perspective"
"What?"
"Life is a matter of perspective. Depending on who is watching...what one does in life has a different answer."
"So how does this relate to you?"
"It was never about me she wanted to know"
That's right...Kei was focused more on things that I did rather than knowing what it would mean
"I see. Good Night and don't be too late to go back Ayanokouji"
My life too was a matter of perspective. Depending upon who describes it the answer you'll find is different. What I said to Kei was my description of my own life.
My existence carries an entirely different meaning depending upon who answers the question. Whether it be my father...The staff of the white room or other students in the white room.
To me there existence does not matter and hence I refrain from describing them in my version.